The Banished Queen

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by Elizabeth Mack


  His broad shoulders hunch forward as he stoops into a bow. I let him linger in that position, savoring the power I have over him. I notice sweat beginning to form on the tip of his brow. After a considerable moment, I say to his evident relief, “You may rise, Haggai.”

  He nods his head, immediately rising. I watch as Esther looks over her shoulder and exchanges a look with the eunuch. My stomach turns.

  “And you, my dear,” I say, reclaiming her attention.

  “What is it you want? Does the death of this wretch not please you?”

  “No, Your Majesty,” She whispers.

  “Then what punishment should I give to her that would please you. I must set an example for all the candidates.”

  She hesitates. Her breath is shaky as she ponders carefully the fate of this girl.

  “I do not wish for any life to be lost on account of me, Sire, but I agree that she must be punished. If it pleases the king, have her imprisoned here in the dungeon until you so desire to set her free.”

  I take a step forward, closing the little space that remains between our bodies. I begin to stroke my chin as I think over her words. My eyes travel across the throne room. “May it be as you have spoken,” I finally utter.

  Esther’s eyes fall to the floor, avoiding the sight of the convicted maiden being dragged away by my guards. Once the doors have slammed shut behind her, Esther grips the folds of her dress and bursts out of the throne room.

  I watch her with a heavy heart as she flees. Then, I turn to the other candidates who are all visibly shaken by everything they’ve just witnessed.

  “Hear me now when I say that anyone who betrays my generosity by harming another candidate will suffer the consequences . . . and I will not show mercy like this again. Is that clear?”

  Timid voices overlap each other as they acknowledge my words. Other girls offer stiff nods. I wave my hand in their direction, dismissing them from my presence. “Leave me.”

  * * *

  My eyes ache as they strain to see into the dense shadow. One of the guards trailing close behind me strikes a torch aflame, immediately alleviating the darkness. The torch hovers over my head as we descend the narrow steps to the dungeon deep below the palace.

  As king, I know that word travels like wildfire in the palace. Which is why I have chosen only a few trusted men to accompany me at this time of night. Everyone else in the palace is sound asleep. That means no witnesses.

  Esther never ceases to surprise me. She risked her own life to save the life of someone who wanted her dead. Her pureness and goodness is unlike anything I have ever seen. I could never be like her. I’m not supposed to be.

  After everything she has been through, her heart could not handle what I have to do. Which is why she’ll never know.

  Heavy metal keys jangle against each other as the guard to my left fumbles for the right one. A loud clang travels through the air as he turns the lock. Opening the barred door reveals a disheveled, grimy woman inside.

  My eyes pierce hers. The guards flood the cell.

  “Wh-what’s going on,” she mumbles, terror gripping her voice.

  “I have one question for you. Why did you do it?”

  She runs the back of her hands underneath her nose, her eyes flitting back and forth from both guards. “I wanted to be queen. She was the only one standing in my way. I had to . . . for my family!”

  The truth daunts on me heavily. I caused this. I put Esther in danger with my failure to remain impartial . . . my failure to hide my feelings. As a king, I have learned the ability to conceal my thoughts, never showing weakness to those who watch me. With her, I’ve come undone.

  “You will not live out your days here . . .”

  Her eyes widen, unsure whether to be relieved or horrified.

  “You will not live at all.”

  I nod to my men. Their swords ring as they are unsheathed. I turn around and exit the cell. Her screams fade as I ascend the steps and I pause when silence falls. It’s done.

  Make sure to read the whole story when you buy

  The Queen of Persia

  available on Amazon!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Elizabeth Mack has been creating stories since she was a small girl, acting out the fantastical ideas that flooded her imagination through playtime. She traded in the barbies for pencil and paper and began writing when she was 14. When she was 17 she joined the online writing and reading community Wattpad, where she began to share her stories. It was there that the first draft of ‘The Queen of Persia’ amassed a following and was eventually discovered. She currently attends university in her hometown where she works towards her bachelors in elementary education. Elizabeth spends her free time watching History Channel documentaries and researching historical figures and events.

  * * *

  [LT1]COMMENT:

  This kind of line is also becoming very repetitive throughout the main manuscript. It sounds very off and is edited as appropriate.

  [LT2]COMMENT:

  This comes off as vague and confusing. How excruciating? Is it excruciatingly slow or fast? Please elaborate.

 

 

 


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