by Jon Keys
Nate grimaced. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to make trouble. It’s just that you’ve always been so open about it.” Nate shrugged. “Please let him know I didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable. I’m real happy for the three of you.”
Cole considered what had just happened while he stashed the produce in his backpack. “Don’t sweat it. It’s totally my fault. We haven’t really talked about some of the details.”
Nate nodded and handed Cole the last of his purchase. “Yeah, I get that. I’m sure you’ll get everything ironed out.”
“Oh yeah. We will.” Cole tossed the bag over his shoulder and headed down the booths in the direction Dalton had fled.
He found Dalton a few displays later looking at a vender with bouquets of fall flowers. He stood quietly at his side for several seconds. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Nate’s an old friend, the stuff about us just sorta rolled out.”
Dalton turned to Cole with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, no problem. Totally fine. I just thought I saw someone I knew, but I was wrong. It’s all good.”
Cole hesitated for a moment. “I thought you said something about soap?”
Dalton froze for a second before continuing to walk. “Oh. No. Just thought I saw someone.”
The two of them worked their way from one stall to the next. The tension gradually lessened, but didn’t leave. They were shopping the goods in the last booth when Cole heard, “Dalton?”
They turned to find four guys, all in the prescribed hipster knit hats and skinny jeans. Cole thought the one talking looked a little more put together than the others, but this sure wasn’t his crowd.
“Hey! Zach!” Dalton said, obviously excited to see the dark haired guy. They grabbed hands and pulled each other into a bro-hug with their hands still between them.
“Long time no see, dude. What’re you doing here?” Zach said.
“Oh we were trying to grab a few things to eat, you know, just some green crap to have in case the rents show up,” Dalton said.
“Hey, I hear ya. Parents can be a pain. Hey these are some buds of mine.” Zach introduced the three guys with him and Dalton shook hands with each one. Once he’d finished Zach stood quietly, obviously waiting for Dalton to introduce Cole. The silence was becoming awkward when Dalton moved with a jerking motion. “Oh sorry, hey this is my—” Dalton paused again, “—friend, Cole”
Cole felt his chest constrict, hurt by the denial. He shook hands with Zach and the other three but the injury of Dalton’s rejection dominated his thoughts.
As soon as the others left, Cole threaded his arm through the backpack straps and started for home. He was on autopilot as he went to their house. Dalton trailed a step behind, both of them wrapped in silence, not exchanging a word. They were almost home when muffled words came from behind him. He spun on Dalton. “What?”
“I said I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Yeah, whatever. I need to get busy. Tara will be home soon.”
Dalton’s face contorted into a mask of pain and he stood unmoving. As Cole walked past he muttered. “Okay, Tara. Right.”
Dalton picked at his plate. The meal was delicious. Cole was a good cook. But with his stomach knotted the way it was, it might as well be cardboard. I eat any more and it’ll come right back up. Everything was screwed up now.
Tara laid her fork on the table and looked first at Cole and then at Dalton. “Okay, what the hell happened? This morning you two were like long lost army buddies who couldn’t get enough of each other, now neither of you is talking. Spill it.”
“Nothing. Everything’s fuckin’ great,” Cole said.
“No problems. It’s all good,” Dalton said.
“Okay, here’s the way this is going down. You’re both going to tell me what’s bothering you in the next sixty seconds, or you’ll see my raging bitch persona, and you never want to meet her.”
Cole choked out a laugh. “I met her once, I’d just as soon not see her again. Thanks.”
Dalton couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay, so someone start.”
“I think I offended Cole today, but I’m not sure how,” began Dalton. “We were at the farmer’s market, talked to my friends and all of the sudden he was pissed.”
Tara turned to Cole to find his face was deep red. His jaw muscles clenched and he refused to meet anyone’s gaze. After a few minutes passed, he spit out. “I’m apparently just Dalton’s buddy.” He snarled at Dalton. “Ain’t that right—buddy!”
Dalton’s mouth worked for several moments before he scowled and lashed back at Cole. “Well you outed me! What the hell was that? At least I respected your privacy, I didn’t announce it to everyone in the fucking farmer’s market.”
“Fuck, it was only Nate. He and I go way back. I told you I’m not good with secrets.”
“Well, this is kinda new to me. It would have been nice if you’d let me get used to it for at least a little while before you crap on me.”
“Crap on you? You fuckin’ asshole! I’m the one who brought you into this relationship, and I—”
“Stop it!” yelled Tara. She shot a venomous look at both of them, then turned to Cole. “Don’t you ever play that card again. Not unless you want to be alone. We’re all in this together, and you didn’t recruit Dalton.”
She turned to Dalton. “You have the right to decide, but we need to talk about stuff, too. Otherwise we’re going to keep having these pointless arguments.”
Cole burst out. “Fuck that! He wants the bennies of the relationship without any fuckin’ commitment. Well, he can go to hell.”
Cole jumped to his feet and stomped down the hallway to their bedroom. Tara watched him go, wincing when the door slammed. She waited for a few seconds, then sighed. “Give him some time to get over being hurt.”
She held up a hand when Dalton started to protest. “I’m not saying you don’t have the right to decide who and how people get told. But you have to understand, Cole is falling in love with you. I’d imagine it’s killing him that you said he was just a friend. He falls fast and hard, honey. He said the L word long before I was at that point.
“I know, I know. It’s not fair to expect you to be as comfortable about this arrangement as we are. At some point, Cole will remember that it’s been months since he and I started talking about this.” Tara walked to Dalton and kissed his cheek. “Give him a little time. Well, maybe more than a little. We’re all going to have to be open and honest, at least now you know why you’re pissed at each other. Wait until he cools off and then talk to him.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Dalton looked around the room and sighed. “I’ll do the dishes, then I have some homework. I probably won’t be back until late.” His sigh was laced with regret and confusion. “I think I’ll sleep in the other bedroom tonight. That would be easier on everyone.”
Tara patted his shoulder. “I have a feeling we’re all going to spend some time in the guest room before we get all the bumps smoothed out of this relationship.”
A smile tugged at the corner of Dalton’s mouth. “You’re probably right.”
* * * *
Dalton knocked on the apartment door. I hope Zach’s home. I’d really like to talk to someone about today, and Zach’s usually good to listen. He waited for several long minutes, then turned to leave. He punched the elevator button and waited for the car to return. Thinking of what to do next, he blindly walked into the elevator when the doors opened—and he collided with Zach.
“Hey. Dalton?”
“Zach!” He paused for a second to get his thoughts together. “I came over to see you.”
Zach studied him for several minutes with one eyebrow cocked, then nodded and motioned Dalton ahead of him. Without a word, he let Dalton inside his apartment and poured them each a pop. He brought the foaming glasses to the living room and handed one to Dalton and then sat down on the opposite end of the couch, tucking his feet under him.
“This is about the big guy you were with today, isn’t it?”
“Damn it, Zach. Am I really that easy to read?”
Zach shot him a sympathetic smile. “Only to me. So, did you finally find your gay side and now you need to get the low down on playing for the other team?”
Dalton chuckled and took a drink before answering. “You’re sort of right. It’s more complicated than that, though.”
“It’s more complicated than my best friend, who has never dated anyone other than the hottest women, to have fallen for a guy?”
“Yeah, well. It’s not just Cole. I mean it was him first. But now Tara is involved. And today I hurt Cole’s feelings when I introduced him as my friend. I may have really screwed up, but Tara’s says—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Holy crap, when you have a relationship problem, it’s crash and burn, isn’t it?”
Dalton took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. “It really is complicated this time.”
“Okay, well one thing at a time, then. Cole is the hot Paul Bunyan type who was with you today?”
“Yes.”
“And he’s more than just friends, or even friends with benefits.”
Dalton nodded. “Yes, I have serious feelings for him. I get all tied in knots when I’m around him, and God help me when he touches me.”
“Okay, hot to trot for the muscle dude. Got it. So who is this second person, Tara?”
“Tara’s our other roommate.”
Zach sat for several minutes, beginning to talk and then stopping. Finally he threw up his hands in surrender. “I give up. I got no more smart remarks. Tell me about it.”
Dalton braced himself, not sure if even Zach would approve. “Well the short version is we are all in a relationship. All three of us.”
Zach looked thoughtful. “All three of you? Like always all three, or sometimes two, or—”
Zach inhaled deeply and then met Dalton’s gaze. “Sorry, I was doing what I hate for straight people to do, go right to the sex and want details of what tab goes in what slot. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m a little overwhelmed, too. Like I said, I hurt Cole today, and I didn’t mean to, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about our relationship with everyone. Then there’s the fact that there’s three of us, hell I don’t even know if there’s a term for us.”
“Poly.”
“Excuse me?”
Zach laughed. “Your relationship with Cole and Tara, it’s called Polyamorous, poly for short. Technically, your specific arrangement is a triad.”
“Great, I’m in a relationship named after a parrot or Chinese organized crime.”
Zach looked confused for a moment, then started laughing. “Well, not exactly, but that was pretty good.”
Dalton began to chuckle. “We might as well see some humor in the whole thing. But what do I do—I don’t want to hurt either of them. But I’m not even sure how I feel about being with both of them.”
“Take a deep breath, and calm down. Let’s think about this for a minute. Poly covers a lot of relationships. Most of them don’t consist of sex between all the people involved.”
“Why not? That’s the fun part.”
Zach chuckled and shook his head. “Well, some people wouldn’t agree with you. Some people who are in a poly relationship are straight. For them the thought of making it with your hot muscular roommate wouldn’t be appealing at all.”
“Okay, well let’s bring this conversation back to me.”
Zach nodded. “Yeah, I don’t need to share everything I learned in my one human sexuality course. So let’s see, what do we know about this relationship?”
Dalton waited for the first question.
“So if any of these get too personal, just pass. Let’s start easy…have the three of you been intimate, or are you just at the talking stage.”
“No, past talking.”
“Okay, is it an exclusive relationship, or open? Can you be with someone other than the two of them?”
Dalton thought for a moment. “I think it’s exclusive, like a monogamous couple, but with the three of us. But Tara said it didn’t have to be all three of us every time. We don’t have to get clearance or anything, either.”
“Okay, good information. So it’s an exclusive committed relationship, it sounds like to me. But the way you pair up can be whatever. Anything else.”
“Well…”
Zach grinned at Dalton. “At this point I wouldn’t worry about something being too personal.”
Dalton returned the smile and nodded in agreement. “Well, Tara told Cole that he could show me his morning wood instead of her.”
Zach started chuckling and soon fell onto the couch and buried his face in a pillow as he laughed hysterically. Dalton waited patiently—at this point happy to have a friend who he could talk to about their relationship. After a few minutes, Zach lifted his head and wiped his eyes. “Sorry, sounds like your partner has a healthy sex drive. But it doesn’t mean much. One thing though, some guys are exclusive tops, just so you know.”
“Oh, Cole’s not.” Dalton slapped his hand over his mouth and heat rolled across his face when he realized what he’d said.
Zach lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
“Forget I said that, okay? I’m already in enough trouble with Cole.”
A serious expression settled on Zach’s face. “Yeah, you’re right. You said there were some problems. What happened?”
“Well, we went to the farmer’s market this morning. But you knew that. It’s the last one of the year so Cole wanted to stock up. Anyway, one of guys working the booth for the student farm knew Cole and he introduced me as his boyfriend.”
“Okay, I can see where that might not make you happy, but I don’t see why he’d be pissed off at you.”
“Well it upset me that he outed me and we hadn’t even talked about it. But we’d started to relax a little when we ran into you and your friends.”
“And you introduced him as your friend. Now the picture is starting to come together.”
Dalton sighed in frustration. “I don’t know what to do. I’m not ready to announce our relationship to the world. I haven’t even figured it out for myself.”
“Does Tara know?”
“Yeah, she said to let Cole think about what happened and he’ll calm down. She didn’t seem too upset, but then I think the relationship is different for her.”
“Yeah, maybe so.” Zach sat back and took a drink while he thought. “You know this isn’t that unusual with gay couples—sometimes one is out more than the other.”
“And how do they work it out?”
Zach paused and looked at Dalton while he chewed on the inside of his cheek. After a few moments he continued. “It’s different for each couple. Some of them work out an arrangement that’s okay with them both. Others don’t last if they aren’t out, at least some. It’s hard to have a partner who can’t be there for you through thick and thin.”
Dalton’s chest contracted and he filled with a hollow sense of loss. “I guess I can see that. So what do I do?”
“You need to talk to Cole, tell him how you feel, and see what he says.”
“What if he isn’t willing to wait?”
Zach’s face twisted into a sad smile. “You can crash here for awhile if you need to.”
Dalton lay alone on the twin bed in his room. The room he’d stopped thinking of as his, even though he’d only been sleeping with Cole and Tara for a few days. Sleep didn’t come easily, but it must have at some point because he awoke when someone sat on the edge of the bed. It took only a split-second to realize the intruder was Cole. Dalton was wide awake.
He wasn’t sure what to say, but Dalton knew he didn’t want to make the situation worse. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Cole rested his hand on Dalton’s hip. “I’m sorry. Tara and I talked about what happened. I guess I overreacted. She reminded me t
hat I spent most of a year coming out as bi.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just still trying to figure the details out myself,” Dalton said.
Cole rubbed his hand up and down Dalton’s thigh. “Come to bed, please. It seems empty without you.”
Dalton rested his hand on top of Cole’s. “I’d really like that. I’ve kinda got use to sleeping with the two of you.”
He followed Cole to their bed and crawled in beside him. Cole’s muscular arms wrapped around him and pulled him with tight possessiveness against his body. Dalton relaxed in the security. Then a smaller hand patted him on the shoulder and Tara’s soft voice floated through the night air.
“Glad you’re back.”
* * * *
Cole woke the next morning to a room flooded with light. He started to bolt for the closet and his clothes to get ready, when several things popped into his mind at once. First, Dalton was curled in his arms, and the musky scent of his slender body was ambrosia to Cole. The other normal morning issues, class and work, weren’t a problem this morning. Work was slow since they were between mowing and snow season, so he was only working a few days a week. And he didn’t have any classes until noon. Tara had a morning class, and he could hear her in the shower. He pulled Dalton tight against him, and relaxed.
His next conscious thought was being awakened by Tara’s typical cheerful morning humming. Dalton stirred in his arms as Tara slipped on her jacket. Dalton raised his head from the pillow and watched her for a few seconds before turning to Cole.
“Is she always this fucking cheerful?”
Cole chuckled and pulled him tighter. “Yeah, pretty much every morning.“ Cole laughed harder when Tara stuck out her tongue at them. “And even worse, she likes early classes and enrolls in them…on purpose.”
Dalton’s head buried back into the pillow. “Ah, damn.”
Tara whirled to them and kissed them both. “You two are so adorable snuggled together.” She grabbed her bookbag and headed for the bedroom door. She paused half way through and looked at them again. “Talk about yesterday. We can all discuss about where to go from here at dinner.”