Thomas wanted him.
Kieran took a shuddering breath, and turned his face up into the spray. No doubt about it. Kieran could still feel the tracks of Thomas’s fingers against his back, feel the trail of them down across his hips. The ghost of his thumbs, so close to his cock without touching….
Thomas wanted him, and Kieran had no idea if it was real or not.
Kieran stayed in the shower until his skin was pink. When he finally stepped out, the entire bathroom was shrouded in steam, and his pajamas were sitting on the counter. Kieran was too exhausted to wonder when Cameron had slipped in to leave them there. He dressed, struggling with the dry cotton in the humid air.
The cold hallway was almost a relief. The apartment was dark, but there was a soft glow from the living room, and Kieran followed it. He was exhausted, stretched thin, and he hoped Cameron was already asleep, because if she spoke now… he wouldn’t be able to keep anything back.
The couch was already made up for him, the lamp next to the pillow had been left on. Kieran slipped under the blanket, and rested his head against the pillow as he turned out the lamp.
Thomas wants me, he thought, and wondered why actually feeling wanted, something he’d wanted all his life, didn’t feel nearly as good as he thought it would.
* * *
Friday passed in a daze.
Thomas woke, showered, dressed, and had just enough time to kiss the top of Jessie’s head as she ate her breakfast before he had to leave for work himself.
“Take an apple!” Connie called after him. It was easy enough to pretend he did not hear her. She did not ask about whether or not Kieran was delivered home safely. Thomas did not enlighten her.
At work, Thomas concentrated on what had to be done. He smiled and laughed when his co-workers cracked jokes, he turned in his reports, he was particularly careful in that afternoon’s scheduled inspection.
He did not think about Kieran. Every time he might have – every time he saw something, or heard something, that might have turned his thoughts to Kieran, Thomas very simply and resolutely pushed the idea away.
At five o’clock, Thomas turned off his computer, put on his jacket, closed the door to his office, and walked at a normal pace to the elevator.
“Thomas!” said Nora brightly. “I haven’t seen you all day.”
Thomas smiled apologetically. “It’s been a busy day.”
“Apparently. I was hoping to ask – did you want to go to Connie’s marriage together? Or meet there?”
“Together, I think,” said Thomas automatically. “There’s very little parking available, it will be much easier than if we come separately.”
Ever the romantic, Bear, honestly, said Felicity cheerfully.
The tension left him almost immediately. Felicity hadn’t said a word all day – not since he’d kissed Kieran in the car. He hadn’t been able to tell if it signified her disapproval or not.
(As if waiting for permission from the memory of one’s dead mate was normal, thought Thomas wryly.)
“Of course,” said Nora. “And the new nanny? How’s he working out?”
Kieran’s lips, soft and damp as Thomas pulls away from him; his eyes still closed, his long lashes wet, though with rain or tears, Thomas couldn’t be sure.
Thomas shoved the dream out of his head. That wasn’t even how it had gone, and he still couldn’t get the image out of his mind.
“Jessie loves him,” said Thomas. How he managed to keep his voice so neutral, despite the wild way his thoughts were turning, he had no idea.
He imagined Felicity shaking her head at him, though he wasn’t sure if it was exasperation or amusement.
“She’ll be there, of course?”
“She’ll go earlier, with Connie. Apparently she’ll have something to do during the ceremony, I don’t understand it.”
“Hmm,” said Nora as the elevator doors opened. “Well, then. I’ve a bit of work to finish up – have a good weekend.”
“You too,” said Thomas, and breathed a sigh of relief as the doors closed.
Which was ridiculous. Nora was a friend. He had no business being so relieved to end a conversation with a friend as he did.
Even if it means going home to see Kieran that much faster?
Thomas didn’t know if the thought was Felicity’s, or his own subconscious. It didn’t matter. He shoved the idea down deep, and drove home with the music blaring.
* * *
The laundry room was dark when Thomas came home.
He could hear Kieran talking animatedly with Jessie, and Connie talking over them both as she prepared dinner. Exactly the same as it had been, all week long.
Thomas let himself wallow in self-pity for only as long as it took to remove his scarf and his coat and hang them up. If he moved a bit slower as he did it – well, he was growing old. And it was cold outside.
“Fa!” said Jessie brightly, springing up to her feet when he entered.
“Jessie-ville is growing,” noted Thomas, but he wasn’t looking at the buildings. He looked at Kieran, across the miniature plastic city.
Kieran looked back, expressionless, but he didn’t break their gaze.
“Dinner’s ready,” said Connie, and then, when neither of them moved, “or, you know, I could feed you by osmosis.”
“Come on, Jessie,” said Kieran, and Thomas watched as he shook off Thomas’s gaze, and stood up in a fluid motion. “Let’s wash hands first.”
Thomas looked up to see Connie standing over him, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.
“Hungry for something, Thomas?” she asked sweetly.
Thomas debated the various answers he could give her, before finally deciding on the obvious.
“Yes,” he said, and went to change.
* * *
It wasn’t until Thomas came back downstairs after putting Jessie to bed that he had a chance to talk to Kieran – who, as was quickly becoming usual, stood in the kitchen, zipping up his coat, with Connie nowhere to be found.
Kieran looked up at him the moment he was in view, and watched as Thomas crossed the living room toward the kitchen. Even from a distance, Thomas could see the wariness in him – but also the way Kieran’s eyes tracked every step, subconsciously leaning closer to him.
Thomas stopped at the doorframe, and thought he saw the disappointment in Kieran’s eyes.
“Where did I drop you off last night?” asked Thomas quietly, and watched as Kieran swallowed. “And don’t say it was your parents’ house. You didn’t go inside.”
Kieran pressed his lips together. “I didn’t want you to know where I live. I’m allowed some secrets, you know.”
“Since when is where you live a secret?” demanded Thomas.
“Since you wouldn’t employ me anymore if you knew,” retorted Kieran.
“Try me,” said Thomas, folding his arms.
Kieran stared at him for a long moment. “My parents… they didn’t want to accept that I refused the bond. So I left.”
Thomas went cold. “They kicked you out?”
Kieran shook his head. “No. They didn’t want me to go at all. But I won’t go back until I’ve paid them back.”
Thomas frowned. “Paid them back?”
Kieran shrugged. “They spent a lot of money finding me an alpha.”
Thomas tried to imagine demanding money of Jessie… and couldn’t. “And they’re all right with this?”
“No,” said Kieran shortly. “But I’m not giving them the choice.”
“Where do you sleep?” demanded Thomas, almost dreading the answer. There were far too many ways that omegas could earn extra money – and none of them were particularly pleasant.
“With Cameron. She’s got an apartment above The Coffee Pot.” Kieran wrapped his arms around his torso.
Thomas frowned even harder. “Is that why you’ve been working for Cameron? To have a place to live?”
“No,” said Kieran quickly, looking up at him. “I mean – yes, sort of. I me
an….” He sighed, frustrated. “Cameron’s an old friend of the family. She’s like a sister. She took me in when I left home, never asked anything of me. She gave me work because I need the money to pay my parents back. She won’t even let me pay her back for groceries.”
Thomas let out a slow breath of air, suddenly intensely grateful to Kieran’s otherwise taciturn and grumpy boss. “She’s very protective of you.”
“Yeah,” said Kieran, fondly; his smile was a bit watery. “She didn’t have to do anything for me – I mean, I’m an unbonded, homeless omega without alpha protection. She’s not even supposed to hire me, let alone take me in. The fines would do her in, if anyone found out.”
Thomas was already shaking his head. “I won’t tell. You know I won’t.”
“I know you won’t,” said Kieran quickly, taking a step forward before he caught himself. “I know.”
Thomas nodded, the protective rage still seething but less so now. Kieran twisted his hands in his jacket pockets. More vulnerable… and braver for it, thought Thomas, and ached to cross the room and feel his skin beneath his fingers again.
“Have breakfast with us on Saturday,” he said quickly, before he could reconsider. Kieran’s eyes went wide. “You’ll be there anyway. And we always go, every Saturday morning.”
“I know,” said Kieran quickly. “That’s nice of you, but… um….”
Thomas’s face went hot. “Never mind, it’s fine, I shouldn’t have—”
“I’m working,” said Kieran. “From 8am ‘til noon. I couldn’t just stop working for her, I had to give her notice.”
Thomas stared at him, and then started laughing. “Is that where Connie’s been getting all the cookies lately?”
Kieran crossed his arms a bit higher on his chest and scowled. “It’s just mornings, and next Friday’s my last day. And Cameron said if Jessie comes down sick or something, she’ll let me come here. She knows you’re my priority. Jessie, I mean. Jessie’s my priority,” Kieran corrected himself, flushing, and Thomas felt the warm curl in his stomach.
“That’s fine. Even if Jessie does comes down with something, Connie’s still here. You wouldn’t have to leave Cameron in the lurch. Besides,” Thomas added, “I can’t risk getting on Cameron’s bad side. She runs the only coffee shop with a decent menu in town.”
Kieran smiled, relaxing again. “I’ll tell her you said that. She’ll give Jessie extra whipped cream on her pancakes.”
Thomas shook his head, mock-sadness. “And here I thought you liked me.”
“I do,” said Kieran, so simply and easily that the look of shock on his face was evidence enough that he hadn’t planned to say it at all.
“Good,” said Thomas, just as easily, his thoughts in a scramble as he tried to parse Kieran’s statement, but his tone absolutely calm and sure – as if it was his heart answering, and not his head.
Kieran’s expression shifted in small pieces with every rapid blink, as if observing Thomas in pieces at a time. Thomas let him, didn’t say anything that might interrupt him – but found himself matching his breaths to Kieran’s, taking in bits of him the same way. The way his hair was curlier on the top of his head, and nearly straight at his temples and the nape of his neck, just behind his ears. The smoothness of his skin, except for a few pockmarks on his forehead where a few teenaged pimples had probably taken root and refused to budge. The deep rose of his mouth, the bottom lip a bit thicker than the top, and the crisp line of where the thin, silky smooth skin of his lips suddenly changed to the peach of his face.
It would be so easy, to reach and pull Kieran in, and taste that transition of skin. It was still on Thomas’s tongue - but he didn’t want the memory of it. He wanted the real thing. He wanted to feel Kieran’s lips under his mouth, feel Kieran’s tongue slip against his. Breathe in Kieran’s scent….
“Kieran,” he said, the longing so vivid in his voice that it was no wonder Kieran startled backward, his eyes going wide.
“Fa!” cried Jessie from upstairs. “Fa!”
Kieran’s laugh was soft and resigned. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” said Thomas, and waited until Kieran was gone before he went to see to Jessie.
Chapter Seven
The Coffee Pot was particularly busy that Saturday morning, or at least it seemed so to Thomas. Every single table was taken, with every occupant looking as if they had no plans to leave anytime soon. There had never been much space for standing around while waiting to place an order at the counter, but it seemed more crowded than usual that morning, so much so that Jessie pushed herself into Thomas’s legs and he was forced to walk with her clinging to him.
“Is it a holiday weekend?” wondered Connie as they took their place in line. “I’ve never seen it so busy.”
“No idea,” said Thomas, already scanning the area behind the counter for Kieran. He doubted that Kieran would be able to help them find a place to seat – nannies didn’t work miracles at coffee shops, no matter how friendly they were with the owners – but perhaps Kieran would at least have an idea which customers had been there the longest and therefore were likely to leave first.
“Looking for Kieran?” asked Connie, innocently, and Thomas flashed an annoyed look.
“Just trying to see the specials board.”
“Look up,” advised Connie, pointing to the blackboard displayed above the baristas’ heads. “Ooo, they’ve got raspberry mocha again, excellent.”
“I want a raspberry mocha,” said Jessie.
“No,” chorused Thomas and Connie, almost by rote.
The line crawled forward. Thomas shuffled forward, trying not to trip over Jessie. He recognized a few of the baristas behind the bar, particularly the manager whose nametag said Gertrude, but according to Kieran was named Cameron. Thomas wondered if any of the employees wore their actual names on their chests, or if they all kept their identities a secret.
“Welcome to The Coffee Pot, what can I get for you?” asked the cashier once they reached the front of the line, which had grown even longer behind them. Tony, said his nametag. Which of course was no indication of his actual name.
“Is Kieran here?” piped up Jessie, and Tony looked over the counter at her. Behind him, busily creating some kind of fancy coffee drink, Cameron looked sharply over her shoulder at them.
“Are you Jessie?” asked Tony.
“Yep,” said Jessie proudly, as if this were an accomplishment.
“He had to run down to the storage room for more napkins, but I’ll tell him you’re here,” promised Tony. “Pancakes with peanut butter and maple syrup, and hot cocoa to drink, right?”
Jessie’s eyes gleamed. “Ooo, yes, please.”
“I see a table,” said Connie, and darted off to claim it.
“So,” said Tony, leaning over the register, and giving Thomas an appraising – and not terribly approving – look. “You’re the alpha who’s hired Kieran.”
Cameron finished the drink, set it on the counter, and started on the next one – all without taking her eyes off Thomas. Thomas had no idea that one could look so menacing while squirting chocolate syrup into an oversized mug.
“Yes,” said Thomas, and tried not to look as if he knew he was being assessed. “And I’d like—”
“Oh,” said Tony darkly, “I know what you’d like.”
Thomas swallowed. “Breakfast?”
Cameron snorted in amusement, and started in on a third drink. Thomas wasn’t sure if the amusement counted as approval or not.
“Among other things,” said Tony. “Bagel and lox for your sister, Lady Gray tea with lemon, ham and cheese omelet with a maple bacon scone, and the largest, darkest roast coffee we’ve got on tap.”
It was the same order from every week – Thomas wondered if the staff actually remembered it, or if Kieran had told Tony beforehand. “Does coffee come on tap?”
“We could brew it up special for you,” said Tony, wide-eyed. “That’s a few dollars extra, though
. Your budget allow for that?”
Thomas narrowed his eyes. “You know, I think I’m going to order something different for breakfast this morning.”
Tony stared at him. Cameron set down the paper cup she was preparing, as if she was waiting for instructions.
Thomas sighed. “Or not. What you said is fine.”
“So,” said the cashier as he rang up the order. Behind him, Cameron had started filling the paper cup with coffee. “You’ve hired Kieran away from us, huh?”
“Well….”
“You’re paying him well, right? Covering his health insurance? Putting funds into a 401K for him?”
Thomas glanced at Cameron, wondering if she was going to step in. Surely interrogating a customer on their financial stability wasn’t exactly in a cashier’s job description? But Cameron, while it was obvious she was still listening in, seemed disinclined to join in the conversation. “Paid vacations, too. You should see the sick leave benefits.”
Tony didn’t even blink. “It’s an extra dollar for a shot of flavoring in your coffee.”
“No, thank you.”
“Right. That’ll be $28.65. Loyalty cards? Coupons? Looking for a friend-of-employee discount?”
“You don’t have a loyalty card or coupons,” said Thomas, growing exasperated.
“So you can afford the $28, excellent sign of financial stability,” mused Tony. “Are you the type to pay for everything in cash, or do you want to use a plastic card to defer payments to a later time and possibly end up paying more in interest than the original amount of the loan?”
Thomas gave up. “Which is less likely to keep me on the hot seat?”
“Cash,” said Tony. “Especially if you’ve got pennies, no one today has pennies.”
Thomas obligingly handed over two twenties and all the change in his pockets. “Do you give all your customers the third degree?”
“Only the ones with an interest in Kieran,” said Tony as he pulled the pennies out of the handful of change. “This’ll set me up nicely, thank you.”
The Omega Nanny Page 10