Maybe I was a horrible person, but some guilt drifted away and out the door another person just entered.
Because I was suddenly glad it was her and not me.
“Nothing personal, it’s just business.”
—Otto Berman
IT WAS WORSE THAN I’D expected.
Adriana was primly folding a blouse and placing it into a suitcase on her bed. She wore an oversized Tweety Bird t-shirt and Christmas socks, and wads of toilet paper lay scattered about the room.
A few years ago, Adriana went through a rebellious stage and chopped her hair off into a pixie cut. I’d never seen my mother more horrified. Adriana had lost her credit card, her acting classes at our all-girls school, and got glowered at every day for a month. It’d grown into a sleek bob now, but it was then I’d learned that cutting your hair in this house was worse than murder.
With dark blue walls, white crown molding and golden accents, Adriana’s room would appear fit for a home staging . . . if it didn’t look like a costume designer had thrown up in it. Posters from famous plays like The Great Gatsby hung on the walls. Weird stage props sat on the vanity: feathers, hats, and masquerade masks. Things that made your head hurt while trying to figure out their purpose—like the giant rabbit’s head on the bed.
I didn’t believe Papà knew he was paying for every penny of Adriana’s dramatic art school’s stage props. But my father didn’t concern himself with my sister too much. As long as she was where she was supposed to be, he was happy. He just didn’t understand her, nor she him.
With a sigh, I grabbed the blouse from her suitcase and went to the walk-in closet to hang it back up. She ignored my presence, brushing shoulders with me as she passed with a pair of jeans.
“What’s with all of the toilet paper?” I asked, sliding the shirt onto a hanger.
She sniffled but didn’t respond.
The last time I’d seen her cry was at our nonno’s funeral when she was thirteen. My little sister was one of the most unemotional people I’d ever met. In fact, I thought the idea of emotion repelled her. My stomach twisted with concern, but I knew Adriana appreciated pity as much as she loved chick flicks. She hated them.
I grabbed the jeans from the suitcase and headed to the closet. “So, where are you going?”
She passed me with a yellow polka-dot bikini. “Cuba. Saudi Arabia. North Korea. Pick one.”
We continued this dance of packing and unpacking like a human conveyor belt.
My brows knitted. “Well, you didn’t exactly give me a good list. But Saudi Arabia is out if you’re planning on wearing this bathing suit.” I folded it and put it away.
“Have you met him?” she asked, walking past me with a zebra-printed robe.
I knew she meant her future husband.
I hesitated. “Yes. He’s, uh . . . real nice.”
“Where am I going to fit all my props?” She threw her hands on her hips and stared into her small suitcase like she’d just realized it wasn’t a Mary Poppins bag.
“I think they’re going to have to stay here.”
Her face scrunched up like she was about to cry. “But I love my costumes.” Tears were running now. “And what about Mr. Rabbit?” She grabbed the giant rabbit’s head off the bed and held it next to her own.
“Well . . . I’m not sure about North Korea’s shipping policies, but I’m betting Mr. Rabbit won’t pass.”
She threw herself on the bed and whined, “What about Cuba?”
“It’s probably a better possibility.”
She nodded like that was good. “I have an Alice in Wonderland production coming up.” She wiped her cheeks, already finished crying.
“Who are you playing?” I knew it wasn’t Alice. My sister didn’t like anything mainstream or blonde.
“The Cheshire Cat.” She smiled.
“Yeah, that sounds like you.” I went into the closet and found a thin-strapped black dress she could wear to lunch. It took a moment to find it because it was squeezed between a Legend of Zelda and Peter Pan costume.
I set the dress on her bed. “You better get ready. Almost everyone is here.”
“Ryan broke up with me,” she deadpanned.
My expression softened. “I’m so sorry, Adriana.”
“He doesn’t understand why I’m getting married and doesn’t want to see me anymore. So, he must not love me very much, right, Elena?” She looked at me with big brown eyes.
I paused.
Explain rationality to my sister and ease her heartbreak a bit, or rip the Band-Aid off?
“Right.”
She nodded. “I’ll be down soon.”
I was downstairs, turning a corner in the hall near the library when I collided with something warm and solid. A breath escaped me as I was forced a step back. I knew who I’d run into before I had to look.
Russo.
Unease drifted through my body like a kindled flame. We were no longer in a foyer filled with people, but completely alone. It was so quiet I could hear my heart beating in my chest.
I took another step back as if to get some footing, but it was mostly just to put myself out of his reach, some kind of survival instinct kicking in.
He stood there in a gray suit and a smooth black tie. He was larger than life in this hallway. Or maybe this hall was just small? No, it looked like a normal-sized hallway. Ugh, get a grip, Elena.
He regarded me like someone would watch Animal Planet—like I was another species and possibly dull entertainment. He had a cell phone in one hand at his side, so I assumed he must have been making a private call.
This hallway was more of an alcove made of arches behind the staircase. Some large potted plants blocked our view from the main hall, and a green glass lamp on a side table cast the area in dim light. However, it was bright enough to see the flicker of impatience behind his gaze.
“You going to stand here and stare at me all day, or are you going to move?”
I blinked.
“And if I say stand here and stare at you?” It was out of my mouth before I could stop it, and I instantly wished I could reach out and take my words back. I’d never spoken to someone like that—let alone a boss—in my life. My stomach dipped like a tilt-a-whirl.
With the phone in his hand, a thumb came up to run across his jaw. I imagined he did that while thinking of how he was going to kill a man.
He took a small step forward.
As if we were the same poles of a magnet, I took one back.
He dropped his hand to his side, the slightest bit of amusement coming to life in his eyes as if I’d just done a trick that entertained him. I suddenly had the distinct feeling I didn’t want to be his entertainment. And an even stronger feeling that I already was.
“Thought the Sweet Abelli was sweet.”
How did he know my nickname?
I didn’t know what came over me, but I suddenly felt free of that name—maybe because he’d never met that girl before. I wanted to be someone different. Especially to him, for some inexplicable reason.
“Well, I guess we were both fooled then. Here I was thinking a gentleman apologized when running into a woman.”
“Sounds like someone’s been making assumptions again,” he drawled.
An odd thumping began in my chest, and I shook my head. “It wasn’t an assumption.”
He took a step forward, and once again I took one back.
He slipped his hands into his pockets as his gaze fell down my body. It was hardly leering and more observant, like I was in fact another species and he was wondering if I was edible.
His eyes narrowed on my pink heels. “You think you’ve got some proof, huh?”
I nodded, feeling strangely breathless under his scrutiny. “My mamma said you acted the perfect gentleman at church.”
“I did act the perfect gentleman.”
“So, it’s a matter of if you want to be one?”
He didn’t say a word, but his neutral expression confirmed it as his sta
re traveled back up from my heels.
“And I’m guessing you don’t want to be one right now?” I realized I shouldn’t have said it as I was saying it.
His heavy gaze reached mine, burning me.
He gave his head a slow shake.
Okay.
I’d stood my ground long enough, much longer than the Sweet Abelli ever would. But now, I just needed to get the heck out of here.
“Okay, well . . . I’ll see you around.”
I couldn’t think of a less idiotic response, so I only took a step to go around him—but, before I could, something grabbed my wrist. He grabbed my wrist. His grip felt like a band of fire; rough, calloused fire. A cool breath of fear mixed with something boiling hot leaked into my bloodstream.
He stood a couple feet from me, his grip the only thing connecting us. “Write up a list of your sister’s hobbies. Likes and dislikes, shoe size, dress size, and anything else you think will be useful. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. How many men had he killed with the hand wrapped around my wrist? It wasn’t a hard grip, but it was heavy, firm, immovable. It made me aware of how much smaller I was, how unnerved and out of place I felt. How I couldn’t leave unless he chose to release me.
He watched me with an inquisitive gaze. My heart felt close to stopping and my skin was burning up. It was inappropriate for him to touch me, future brother-in-law or not. My papà could come out of his office any moment, but this man didn’t seem to care. I did, though, especially after the scene earlier.
“I’ll give the list to you on Friday at the engagement party,” I managed to say and tried to pull my wrist away.
He didn’t let me go. My pulse fluttered when his thumb brushed my knuckles. “I was under the impression the Abellis could afford more than a fifty-cent ring.”
I glanced at the ring on my middle finger. It came from one of those vending machines and had a purple round-cut jewel in the center. The thought of it sobered me.
“Sometimes the cheapest things are the most valuable.”
His gaze came back to my face, and we looked at each other for a moment. His grip slipped down my wrist, palm, fingers. The rough pads of his fingertips brushed my softer ones, and made my heart skip a beat.
“I’ll see you at lunch, Elena.”
He left, disappearing into my papà’s office.
Cazzo . . .
Leaning against the wall, the ring was a heavy weight on my finger. I could take it off, put it somewhere it couldn’t haunt me, but I knew I never would. Not yet.
His grip still burned like a brand on my wrist as I left the hallway.
Once again, he’d said my name in the most inappropriate way.
“Murders came with smiles, shooting people was no big deal for us Goodfellas.”
—Henry Hill
BILLIE HOLIDAY PLAYED SOFTLY FROM the old pool radio. Condensation dripped down crystal glasses, and silverware glinted in the bright sunlight. It was a hot July afternoon, but the steady breeze was the perfect interlude.
Lights wound around the wooden slats of the patio cover, and my mamma’s rose bushes were flourishing. The chairs were soft and the food was good, but it could only be so comfortable having lunch with a bunch of strangers. However, the seventies ad sitting across from me didn’t seem to share the same opinion.
“Anyway, the cop let me go and he didn’t even take my coke—”
“Gianna.” The word was a low warning from Nicolas’s spot at the table.
She rolled her eyes and took a deep drink of wine, but she spoke no more.
I wondered why Nicolas had chastised her and what their relationship was. Siblings? They did appear to find each other annoying, but I was sure I’d heard somewhere that Nicolas was an only child. Gianna’s senior citizen of a husband sitting next to her hadn’t said a word, except for some oddly-timed chuckling. I was beginning to think he was hard of hearing.
Gianna was my polar opposite. Where I was quiet, she spoke with abandon and laughed loudly. Where I was demure, well . . . she’d stuck her gum to her cloth napkin before eating her pasta without twirling it around the fork. I was a little jealous of her carefree approach to life.
Tony sat on her other side. He leaned back in his chair with his jacket unbuttoned looking bored, but I knew him better than that. I’d seen that smug way he scratched the scruff on his jaw like he was angry and amused at the same time. And that never meant anything good. He was handsome, but if I wasn’t his sister I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. His recklessness was dangerous for anyone involved, especially himself. He caught my uneasy look and shot me a wink.
Low chatter and the scraping of silverware filled the yard, but beneath that lay a tense air that wouldn’t dissipate, an uncomfortable vibe the breeze wouldn’t take with it. Everyone seemed to be easily chatting amongst themselves, so maybe it was just me. I brushed it off.
Gianna didn’t stay quiet for long, though she no longer spoke about 8-balls of coke. She changed the subject to horse racing. That was an acceptable conversation many joined in on. It wasn’t like this was a drug-free zone—in fact, many people came through this house on a daily basis with drugs on them—but out in the open, it was Cosa Nostra etiquette to pretend we were the classic example of a white-picket-fence family. Even if our homes were surrounded by an iron gate and security instead.
I was happy to see that Adriana had shown up instead of boarding a plane to Cuba. She sat next to her fiancé and Papà at the other end of table.
Maybe I was a coward, but I was glad I didn’t have to sit near Nicolas. I was the perfect hostess and had a polite response for anything—as inappropriate as the comments could sometimes be when people were drinking—but with him, words were at a loss for me. I felt tongue-tied around him, tilted off my point of gravity, and truthfully just hot, as though a blush permanently warmed my skin.
It might be unpleasant speaking to him, but it was too easy to look in his direction. If not for his size, he could easily fit Adriana’s pretty-boy preferences when he had a sober expression on his face. He was tan, his hair was almost black, and I couldn’t help but notice that his biceps were defined through his shirt. My future brother-in-law was even more handsome beneath bright sun. It was unfortunate his personality didn’t match.
What I found the most intriguing about his appearance, however, was the dark ink that showed through his white dress shirt. It was vague, but I thought it went all the way from his shoulder to the gold watch on his wrist. Nicolas Russo had a full sleeve. I knew that gentleman look was all smoke and mirrors.
He glanced over and met my gaze as if he’d felt me observing him. From five chairs down, the impact of an indifferent stare still found a way to touch my skin. The way he shouldn’t have said my name played on a loop, deep and suggestive, in my head. Just so I didn’t look like a coward, I held his gaze for a breathless second before looking away. I had the sudden feeling that for my future health . . . I shouldn’t interact with this man anymore.
“I hear you have a recital coming up, Elena,” my uncle Manuel said from a few seats down. His voice had become nothing but a memory of bloodshed due to the part he played six months ago. I drank a sip of wine, tasting nothing but guilt and resentment.
Every pair of eyes shifted to me, all twenty of them, but I was only aware of one of them.
“Yes.” I forced a smile. “Saturday.”
“You dance?” Gianna asked. “How fun! I’ve done some dancing but”—her voice lowered—“we’re probably talking about two different things.”
My eyes twinkled. “Tap, you mean?”
Her laugh was light and airy. “Yes, definitely tap. Have you always danced?”
“Yes, since I was a child.”
“Are you any good?”
I laughed at the forward question. “Truthfully, no.”
My mamma muttered something in disagreement from down the table. She had to disagree—it was part of being a mother—but I was mediocre at dance and
I didn’t have a problem acknowledging it. It was something to do. Something to fill the monotonous time. I used to love it as a child, but now it was just a sleeve of the dress that didn’t fit.
Conversation quieted, and Gianna pushed her broccoli around on her plate like she was seven and didn’t like vegetables. Her husband chuckled at absolutely nothing. She rolled her eyes and took a large gulp of wine.
Lunch continued with meaningless chatter, good food and drink, but the tension never dissipated. It sat there, uninterrupted. Like an echo before the words were even spoken.
My brother leaned back in his chair, a ring sounding as he ran his finger around his wine glass. Adriana ate as though a large man she didn’t know and was marrying in three weeks wasn’t sitting next to her.
Papà mentioned he’d bought an old shooting range, and conversation on that drifted down the table like a domino effect. They’d just served tiramisu for dessert, and I was ready for this lunch to end. But unfortunately, that uncomfortable tension was about to twist its way out of the inevitable.
It began with an innocent suggestion between the men to visit the range. And then I watched it play out like a bad dream. The Russo sitting to the left of me grunted sardonically. I’d learned his name was Stefan, though he’d hardly said more than a word.
The ring from my brother’s wine glass faded off. Tony’s dark gaze centered on the man. “Don’t think I caught the joke, Russo.”
Stefan shook his head. “Just got better things to do than watch a bunch of Abellis miss targets.”
“Uh-oh,” Gianna said under her breath.
I closed my eyes. The day my brother let this go without a fight would be the day the sky fell.
“Tony, don’t . . .” Benito warned from his seat beside my brother. He was always the voice of reason in that duo. But Tony didn’t even glance at his cousin—instead, he smiled at Stefan Russo and it wasn’t nice at all.
My chest tightened, and I looked down the table to get Papà’s attention, but he was in conversation with Nicolas and my uncles.
The Sweetest Oblivion Page 2