Putting everything else about Jess out of mind, Gabi was excited about the possibility of figuring this out. He’d come to church to see her, but she couldn’t help wonder—or even hope—that maybe, just maybe he’d come to seek God’s help in dealing with his cattle situation. Maybe he’d decided that he’d been away too long and showing God a little love would be a good thing.
Who knew? But a necropsy was in order and could take that worried crinkle out of the corners of his eyes.
If they found answers.
Susan made quick order out of the necropsy. The contents of the heifers’ stomachs didn’t disclose what the animals had eaten, but she took samples of everything to send off to the lab. The liver did show damage and that was enough to make them continue looking for a plant that could poison and harm the liver.
A worried shadow in his eyes, Jess watched while they performed the necropsy.
“So do you think we’re going to get any answers?” he asked after a few minutes. “I called Luke and told him. He and Montana will be in late tonight. He was worried, like I knew he would be. I’d sure like to have something for him when he gets in other than more dead cattle.”
Susan assured him they would have something in a few days. “With no rain and these drought conditions, you and all the other ranchers are facing the problem of your ratios. Most of these plants we’re talking about are eaten but in a ration with nutritional plants that keep the ratio in balance.”
“We’re already feeding hay,” Jess said, in defense, looking as if Susan had hauled off and slapped him. It was priceless. Gabi thought it was kind of cute, him thinking she was stepping all over his pride.
“I see that,” Susan said, not taking offense herself. “But something is up somewhere, Jess.”
“I get that,” he agreed, his frustration plain on his face.
Gabi felt bad for him and filled with determination to help. She would do everything she could to figure this out.
After Susan had finished, she left Gabi behind to continue finding plant samples. Since she’d ridden out with Susan, Jess had assured her that he would take Gabi home after they searched for the killer plant.
“Let’s do this thing,” Gabi said, hands on her hips, she gave him a nod. “We may have to wait for test results to come back, but Susan narrowed our search to plants that damage the liver. So let’s get crackin’.”
Though he was intensely concerned by the dead cattle, her comment caused his lips to lift into a smile. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”
Knowing she’d helped brighten his day boosted her spirits. With a little too much spring in her step, she headed toward the back of his truck. “I printed a color photo of each plant that we need to watch for.” She laid them out, really enjoying the fact that she had the opportunity to make this cowboy’s day. At the moment she didn’t concentrate on the fact that she liked that bit of power. When the man smiled at her, her insides quivered with excitement. “By the time the results come back we may already have this mystery solved. Are you with me on that?” She held up her hand for a high-five of agreement.
Jess’s eyes brightened and he lifted his hand and lightly slapped hers. “I’m with you. Just lead the way.”
Chapter Seven
Jess had been feeling pretty low. With cattle dying in twos and threes, it was understandable. But with Susan’s expertise and Gabi’s positive attitude, he was feeling more optimistic.
They’d started the search in the pasture surrounding where they found the last dead cattle. The heifer had died in an area that had a large wooded and brush-filled gulley cutting through it. There were cattle grazing all across the pasture and some could be seen coming from the brush.
“I want to start there,” she said, pointing toward the gulley. “That looks interesting, don’t you think?”
“I’m willing to give anything a shot,” he said, and meant it.
“Then let’s hit it. You know the routine.” She pulled out her plastic baggies and her little book, waggling her eyebrows at him as she stuffed it and the baggies into a small flat backpack that she slid her arms through. She exuded confidence and a good humor that couldn’t help but boost his spirits as they headed into the woods.
“I feel like a detective right now,” she said. “All I need is a trench coat and a fedora and I’d be set. What do you think?” She gave him an over-the-shoulder grin and then rattled off several old television detectives.
Jess laughed. One thing he was absolutely certain of—Gabi might feel like a detective but she didn’t look anything like one.
“What’s that laugh for, mister?” She smiled and showed him her dimple.
He stumbled over a dip in the trail and almost took a nose-dive at her feet.
“Now, that’s grace in motion,” she quipped, stopping to stare at a plant. Jess was staring at her, and could not help it…he had cattle dying, but at the moment he had to admit that he was having a great time.
Gabi felt a little self conscious at the way Jess was staring at her. She had on her boots which enabled her to stomp through the underbrush where needed, but she’d chosen to follow one of the many cow trails. It wound beneath the trees, dappled sunlight filtered through the mesquite and oak trees sprinkled about, highlighting tangled masses of berry vines covering the ground and yaupon bushes. This area of Texas was the best of both worlds to Gabi. Sitting on the edge of hill country, it was combination of hill country rock and mesquite mixed with oak trees and grass. The grass, though, was quickly disappearing with the lack of a good slow rain. This was not a thick, dark woods, but rather, it had areas where the sun filtered in heavily and plants thrived. Other areas it was shadowed and the air was thick with heat and the scents of earth.
Gabi wasn’t thinking much about any of this though as she led the way through the woods. She chattered about random things to tease smiles out of her handsome cohort. She smiled to herself, understanding fully that the man was going to think she was absolutely senseless. That was all right. She hadn’t liked seeing him worried. But she knew she was tenacious and wouldn’t stop until she found out what was killing his cattle.
She also wouldn’t stop until she had Jess all figured out. The man interested her on so many levels. No, it wasn’t just that he made her pulse do things that might have sent an older person to the E.R. And it wasn’t that she liked seeing the gleam of surprise in his eyes as much as she just plain liked his eyes. It was much more—things she couldn’t put her finger on and things she could. She liked how hard he seemed to work. And how much he seemed to care about this place and his brothers, whom he was trying so hard to protect from the fact that their ranch was in a jam. She didn’t know what kind of a boyfriend he would be—which was of no interest to her, she reminded herself strongly. But she liked who he was otherwise. The man was a stand-up guy. And that was just plain attractive.
Not that she was attracted to him…
Okay, so she was attracted but not acting on that attraction. She was only trying to lift the guy’s spirits with her teasing conversations.
She couldn’t help it if he seemed to like it.
As they tramped around talking and searching, they found a few poisonous plants that weren’t usually much of a threat but Gabi took samples anyway. They didn’t cause liver damage either, so she doubted they were going to be a problem, but she wanted to document them.
“So you used to get into trouble and make your grandmother worry?”
His question came out of nowhere, taking her by surprise.
They’d been searching for about three hours, chatting and goofing off. Though she’d messed up early in life and mentioned that she’d made her Gram worry, she hadn’t expected any response. Jess was following her off the trail when he had asked the question.
“And my mother,”
she added, as she scrambled to figure out what to say about her past. “Not my proudest accomplishment. I’m sure you understand that.” She shot him a smile and hoped to turn the conversation to him and away from her. “Isn’t that more of a guy thing, to give his parents a hard time?”
She crouched down to look at a plant growing close to the ground as she continued to talk away, nervous about things getting too personal. “I’m sure you probably had your moments. I’m not making excuses for myself, but I guess making parents worry is part of growing up and finding our own way. It can’t be avoided to some extent. Don’t you agree?” She was just rattling away, and Jess hadn’t commented.
“I guess so,” he finally said, his voice casual, his expression flat.
She’d looked up from poking around at the little plant and caught the funny expression on his face. “I guess so?” she repeated. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me you never messed up and made your parents worry about you?” Ha! She knew better than that. She hadn’t known him long but she knew that Jess had probably been a typical mischievous little boy and more than likely a wild teenager. “There is no way you didn’t cause your parents to turn gray headed early worrying about you growing up. No way at all.”
A look of detachment descended on his face. “I never made my parents worry.”
“Get out of here. No way!” The man was teasing her. She stood, grinning at him. “You are pulling my leg. Not that you don’t seem to have your act together now, but I know you pushed a few buttons.”
He shrugged and looked…embarrassed. “Gabi, you can only push buttons if someone cares.”
It was her turn to look embarrassed as it hit her—he’d told her that he and his brothers didn’t have the best childhood. What had she been thinking?
“I—I hadn’t thought about it in those terms. I’m…” She stumbled over her words. It wasn’t often that she was at a loss for them. How could she have been so careless?
Reaching out, he tugged her ponytail. “It’s all right,” he assured her, giving a teasing grin intended to make her feel better—it just made it worse. “I got over it a long time ago.”
That was an odd thing to say. Change the subject, Gabi. Change the subject. She’d never been really diplomatic, and just because she’d become a Christian hadn’t changed that. She was praying about that too, among tons of other stuff. God had His hands full where she was concerned.
“I should keep my mouth shut and let the awkward moment pass,” she said. “But I can’t. Instead I’m going to stick my foot into my mouth even deeper and ask why your parents didn’t care. That just sounds awful. Sorry, but it does.”
A ray of sunlight shifted onto his face, as if God was putting His hand on Jess to comfort him and she suddenly wanted with all of her heart to do the same thing.
She wondered if Jess had any clue that he looked like a lost little boy in that moment. Everyone cared whether their parents cared or not. Even adult men.
He looked as if he was going to clam up. But, thinking, he pulled a leaf from an oak limb dangling near his head. For a moment he studied the leaf like it was the most interesting leaf God had ever created. “It’s no big secret,” he said at last. “Everyone knows my father only cared about his alcohol. He lived for that bottle and nothing else. And my mother, she got tired of it—all of it, including us, and she skipped out when we were little. I was ten, Luke fourteen and Colt eight.”
His dad had been an alcoholic.
Gabi almost flinched at the news. The way Jess’d relayed the info told her instantly how devastating and hard that had been on him. Her mouth went dry, thinking of her own situation which was way too fresh on her mind. “I’m sorry,” she managed to say, blood rushing in her ears. Jess Holden was a strong, adult male and the clarity of his father’s actions was etched deeply into him. Cut deep and raw like an open wound. Never, never would she have wanted to do that to her family. And yet she’d very easily been on the path.
“No biggie,” he said, as if he didn’t care when clearly he did. “Like I said, that was a long time ago.”
Gabi needed to look somewhere else, at a plant, at a tree, at a gopher hole. Anywhere, but into this cowboy’s pain-filled eyes.
And anger. There was anger in those eyes and that cut right to Gabi’s core.
This could have been me. This could have been her own adult child hating her one day if she hadn’t awakened to the path she’d almost chosen for her life.
Her knees buckled as the heat and the reality all seemed to hit her at once. “I need to sit down,” she whispered.
“Are you all right?” Jess was beside her instantly, his hand on her elbow as she took a weak step toward a large, flat rock.
“You look about as white as milkweed juice. And you’re clammy, too.”
“I’m fine. I—I just need to sit down for a minute.”
He held her arm as she sank to the rock. Placing her elbows on her knees, she thrust her fingers in her hair and stared at the ground between her feet.
“This heat can sneak up on you out here.” Jess patted her back, comforting her. Gabi gave a hollow laugh, lifting her head just a little as she nodded. What else could she do?
She certainly wasn’t going to tell the man she was…that she’d had her own issues with alcohol. Nope, no way in the world she was doing that. Her life had been a mess that would rival those sleazy reality television shows out there. She cringed and broke out into a cold sweat all over again. Her and Phillip’s life had been a real mess.
What would Jess think of her? Her hands knotted into fists and she dug deep to pull herself from the hole she’d just fallen into.
Taking the bottle of water he had pulled out of the backpack, Gabi took a big swallow and then forced herself to look at him. “Give me a minute and I’ll be fine.” She held up the water bottle. “I should have been drinking more of this.”
“I should have been making sure that you did—”
“It wasn’t your fault, Jess. I’m my own keeper, you know. I’m my own keeper,” she said again then repeated the words in her head for a third time like a chant. Jess’s dad had been an alcoholic— “Look, sorry I snapped. Really, thanks for looking out for me.” She felt horrible. “And I’m real sorry about your dad.”
He shrugged. “Kids deal with that sort of stuff all the time. Sadly, me and my brothers weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. I’m not going to let it ruin my life today. Kids grow up and take control of their lives. They get to make their own choices.”
“True,” Gabi said, her hand trembled as she took another swig of water and tried to meet his gaze.
“And I can promise you,” he said, his words harsh. “Dealing with an alcoholic isn’t something I’ll ever have to deal with again. Ever.”
Chapter Eight
Jess dropped off Gabi at her house not long after she’d overheated. He’d felt bad about that, and though they’d both been hot, sweaty and ready to get cleaned up, he’d offered to buy her dinner at Sam’s. She’d declined the offer though, opting instead to go on home to cool off.
It was probably for the best, he thought, watching her stroll through the picket fence and close the little gate.
“You sure you’re all right?” he called, not able to put his finger on it, but sensing something wasn’t right. Maybe it was him, after all he was the one who’d opened his big mouth and told her his life story.
He never did that. And here he’d gone and dredged up his past—oh, he’d sidestepped like crazy once he’d realized what he’d done but it was too late. Gabi was already throwing pity his way.
“I’m fine,” she called from the door. “You pumped enough water down me to drown a horse. Talk to you tomorrow.” She slipped inside and he watched the door close behind her.
Intending on
going home, he backed out of the drive but he didn’t make it far, deciding at the last minute to swing by Sam’s. Pulling his truck into a spot in front of the diner, he headed inside. The sign beside the door declared “eat at your own peril” but everyone knew that Sam’s cooking was home cooking. No peril involved. Unless you chose his meat loaf—all bets were off on that hunk of burning fire. Sam concocted it to set a cowboy’s mouth on fire. And it caught its fair share of unsuspecting greenhorns off guard. While making a room full of onlookers hoot with laughter.
It was a slow crowd when he entered. And though he was a little this side of fresh, he didn’t let it stop him, Sam’s was made for the working cowboy. Dust covered and sweaty was Sam’s best customer. His kind had kept the diner open through the years in between the oil bust that had sent a major portion of Mule Hollow’s population packing, and the Mule Hollow matchmakers’ “wives wanted” campaign. Crazy but successful, those advertisements for would-be wives for the lonesome cowboys of the town had been a success. But in between the two epic events, it had been the hard-working, sometimes crusty, cowboy that had kept this little town alive.
The town had been different then, a sad assortment of terribly weathered clapboard buildings that, with so many businesses going belly-up after the oil bust, resembled a ghost town. Now, after Lacy Matlock and the ladies had painted it every color under the sun—and he meant that literally—it looked bright and shiny and different. He, like every other cowboy in the room, wasn’t going to say he liked the two-story bright pink hair salon that could be seen all the way at the crossroads. Or the bright blue building with yellow trim that was now Pete’s Feed and Seed…or the purple or lime green or any of the other outlandish colors that each building was painted. But it had changed the face of the town and people were here.
Her Lone Star Cowboy Page 6