by Rey S Morfin
Only a few months later, Laura became pregnant. She told Anna first, who initially panicked and asked Laura how she was going to deal with it - before Laura explained that this wasn’t an accident, this had been the plan.
Of course the “plan” hadn’t stretched far beyond conception, and we found ourselves coming up against obstacle after obstacle: What colour do we paint the room? Why are pushchairs so expensive? Will we ever be able to afford to go on holiday ever again? We faced these challenges together, and, against all odds, we came out on the other side - although the holidays were definitely put on hold for several years.
Our daughter was born on my birthday, and was the best gift I received that day - even including the luxury men’s socks subscription, which would normally have been hard to beat. I held our daughter, Olivia, for the first time while my wife demanded red wine - Cabernet Sauvignon if possible, but she would be happy with any, she said.
When Olivia was five, she began having trouble with another kid at school. She came home crying on a regular basis. Laura said she would handle it by talking with the child’s parents, but they seemed to see things differently, and even Laura - typically a stoic woman - came home tearful. Weeks later, I would run into the parent in a supermarket, and they would leave with a broken nose, and I with a black eye. Laura kissed it better every night until it healed, and I tried not to wince while she did this kind gesture.
When Olivia left home, Laura and I held our tears until the door was closed. More tears escaped my eyes than they did Laura’s, and that night we got drunk on gin, and later - when the gin was depleted - and old bottle of port. We’d been saving a bottle for a special occasion such as this, but being in the state we were, we’d accidentally opened a cheaper bottle instead, and hadn’t realised until the morning.
I got chest pain on and off for a few weeks, and eventually - after much persuasion from Laura - went to see a doctor. They were encouraging - yes, there were problems, but it was nothing a little exercise wouldn’t fix. Laura supported me in working out regularly like I used to, running alongside me, cheering encouragement.
At fifty-nine, I suffered a heart attack. Laura took me to hospital, where they gave me a bed. Olivia and Mo flew in from Madrid to see me - that’s how I knew it was bad. They stayed with me for hours, and I reassured them that everything was going to be just fine. I encouraged them to leave the room and get some well-earned food and rest.
When the room was empty, an old woman crept out from the shadows.
‘Ok, Rey,’ she began, ‘You’ve had your life. Now it’s time.’
Elizabeth stood over me as my heart gave out.
20
The Battle at the End of the Road
I woke up in a car in some rural English town. I coughed - and watched as smoke escaped my lungs. The car door opened next to me and a young woman peered in.
‘Rey? Is everything alright?’ she asked.
‘What? Who are you? I…,’ I trailed off, something wasn’t right. My voice wasn’t so hoarse. Looking at my arms, my skin looked youthful. Where was I? When was I?
‘Rey?’ the young woman repeated, ‘What’s going on? Did you have a bad reaction to it?’
It was Anna. Anna Tyndall. Laura’s friend. Had been there at our wedding. But I hadn’t seen her in years - and when I had, she didn’t look like this.
‘Anna? Where are we?’ I asked, looking around with confusion.
‘Highford. Do you remember, Rey? Remember where we are? What we’re doing? Fuck, maybe I gave you too much.’
‘I don’t…,’ I trailed off again, looking around further. In the distance, a girl stared in, alarmed. I recognise her too. Sarah. What was she doing here? What was I doing here?
Anna grabbed my face with her hands and pulled me to face her.
‘Do you remember what’s going on, Rey?’ she repeated - more forcefully this time.
I felt my skin begin to crawl, and instinctively went to scratch it. Expecting to feel smooth - albeit slightly hairy - skin, I recoiled when I touched a smooth silky substance, as if it were a thick cloud of…
Smoke. Rising from my arms. I was on fire. Was I? No. I felt fine. I studied it some more. This was familiar somehow. This surreal experience was familiar to me. Why?
Anna saw me staring at my arms in wonder. ‘Rey? The Root, do you remember? You remember what it does? Do you remember what we’re doing here?’ Anna’s eyes were wide with fear.
My memories started to return to me. ‘Stephen…,’ I muttered.
‘Yes! Stephen, you remember him? You remember what he did?’ Anna looked relieved that I’d said his name, that I’d remembered him. But, of course, I also remembered what he did.
‘He killed…,’ I trailed off again, still in a daze.
Anna nodded sadly, as if prompting me on.
‘No, that’s not right, I was just with her…,’ I continued.
‘You were just with who, sorry? With Laura?’ Anna asked, puzzled.
‘Yeah, with Laura. My wife. And we had Olivia…,’ I said. My memories were faded, and with every second that passed I forgot more and more. I clasped my head, trying to contain the memories, stop them spilling out.
‘I don’t know who Olivia is, Rey,’ Anna replied.
‘Olivia! Livvy! You know her, you’ve met her,’ I snapped.
‘No, Rey, I’m sorry, I haven’t. Who is she? Who do you think she is?’
‘My daughter! Your god-daughter!’
‘I… You don’t have a daughter, Rey. I’m definitely not a god-parent, I don’t even think people do that any more,’ she replied, and then added, again, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Yes!’ I insisted, and then struggled to recall more about her. ‘I do… she…’
‘She what?’
‘I… I don’t know. I don’t… remember,’ I replied, softly now, still clasping my head - in vain.
‘I don’t know about any of that, Rey, but we need you to remember where we are, we need you here. We have a job to do, remember?’
More and more the memories of the last fifty years faded, replaced with terrible recollections of Laura’s death, of foul monsters, of being chased. But these didn’t make sense, they directly contradicted everything that I knew to be real. This couldn’t be. I scoured my mind, looking for the last thing I remembered before I woke up here, in this car.
I remembered Elizabeth. She’d been there. But she’d been here, also, in this version of events. How could that have been?
Why was she there? What had she told me? That I’d had my life?
There was more to it, wasn’t there? She had said something else.
She had said that it was time - time for what?
Memories changed, faster now, and visions of the last few decades became nothing more than scraps floating amongst the oncoming tide of this existence.
I looked down at my hands, now comprehending how I had arrived here - that Anna had sent me here, with the Root, so that we might use it to stop Stephen.
‘I… I think I… I remember, Anna,’ I told her.
She looked at me through narrowed eyes. ‘All of it?’
‘Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I know… what we have to do now. I don’t like it, obviously, I hate it, even, but I remember what we have planned, yeah.’
Anna’s expression of concern only partially went away, and she continued to survey me suspiciously. ‘Good. Ok. Do you think you’re going to be able to…,’ she paused for a moment, ‘…use those powers. God, saying it still sounds stupid, even now, doesn’t it?’
‘I know.’
I flexed my hands, focussing my mind on conjuring the fire from them. It wasn’t instant, but they came, licking up the side of my arms. I extinguished them before I set the car alight - that would have been the last thing we needed right now.
I stared into the distance, forcing my eyes to see more than I had previously been able to - the enhanced sight. I didn’t yet know what to call it.
Anna flinched away
as my eyes began to glow red. A few metres away, Sarah gasped, and I returned my eyes - and my vision - to normal.
‘It’s ok, Sarah,’ Anna called out to her, ‘It’s nothing to worry about, I promise!’
‘Ok…,’ she called back - the tone of her voice suggesting that she was very unsure that it was actually “ok”.
There was one other power that I knew I had within me - one that I’d seen both Stephen and Elizabeth wield. However, with Sarah in such close proximity, and having already scared her enough, I didn’t test it. I was conscious, though, that in the fight to come, I may have to release it: my Shadow, a being formed of smoke. I’d seen Stephen use it to cause havoc, and I’d felt Elizabeth use it to possess me. It was the latter which had given me the sense that the owner was never quite fully in control - that it had a mind of its own. I’d felt its desire to disobey. If it came to it, later, I might have to find out the truth for myself - and the thought made my skin crawl.
‘Ok, Anna, I’m ready,’ I announced.
She nodded firmly, and beckoned Sarah over to the car. Laura’s cousin edged over slowly, eyeing me suspiciously as she drew closer. She turned to Anna.
‘He’s… everything’s safe?’ Sarah asked her.
‘Yeah,’ Anna reassured her, ‘It’s all safe, don’t worry.’
Sarah watched me move over to the front passenger seat, clearing a space for the driver, before skirting around the car to sit in the seat furthest from me. I would have taken it personally if not for the fact that if our roles were reversed, I would have done the same. Someone who seems to be able to summon fire from their hands? Yeah, I would sit as far away from them as possible. Obviously.
Anna hopped in the driver’s seat and slammed the door closed.
‘Alright, we all belted up?’ she asked us.
Sarah and I each raised an eyebrow at her.
‘Are you serious?’ I asked, ‘Is that… top priority… right now?’
‘Yes,’ Anna replied, indignantly, ‘Road safety isn’t something to be taken lightly. It only takes one accident for something to happen.’
‘But…’
I shook my head in annoyance, but eventually did as she instructed me. There was little point in arguing.
Anna turned to face me.
‘I want to check, one final time, that we’re both clear on what we’re about to do? Without saying anything out loud in front of…’ Anna tilted her head in Sarah’s direction. Sarah responded by raising her arms in irritation.
‘Couldn’t we just… tell someone. Tell people that Stephen did it.’
‘Tell them what, Rey?’
‘I take your point.’
‘They’re not going to believe us, whatever we tell them.’
‘I know, I know, I’m with you,’ I paused, readying myself for what I was about to say. ‘So, we need to, don’t we? We need to do it,’ I responded, ‘Before he… you know… hurts anyone else.’
It was going to be a noble quest, of course - stopping the villain before he could do harm to anyone else. A gallant knight slaying the dragon, or a secret agent saving the world. I’d always fancied myself in one of those roles. It was justice - revenge didn’t come into it, I told myself.
Sarah eyed me suspiciously as I uttered those final three words. Anna nodded repeatedly, as if psyching herself up for the road ahead, before putting the car into gear, and accelerating down the road towards the edge of Highford. Three sets of eyes were peeled for danger on the path ahead, but we saw none. Had Stephen given up so soon? Why? Did he not think we were worth the effort?
With a screech, Anna pulled the car to a stop at the end of Sarah’s road.
‘Alright, out, Sarah,’ Anna ordered her.
Sarah looked surprised. ‘What? Why? I’m coming with you!’
‘No, Sarah, you’re not,’ she replied.
‘Do you know what we’re doing, Sarah?’ I asked her. Sarah made eye contact with me for the first time since she’d seen what I’d become. The look of adoration in her eyes had been replaced with one of fear.
‘No…,’ she replied, voice trembling. ‘I can guess, though. I’m not stupid. You must have… Did you find the person who…’ Sarah trailed off as she fought back tears from her eyes.
Neither Anna nor I immediately replied, and we let the words hang in the air.
‘It’s going to get a bit complicated up ahead, Sarah, I’m sorry,’ Anna eventually said.
With a grimace, Sarah opened the car door, stepped out, and watched us drive away.
We pulled up outside the mansion, Anna taking care this time to come slowly to a halt, aware that any noise emitted by this old car might alert Stephen to our presence - and we were counting on the element of surprise.
Anna reached down, taking off first her boots, and then her tights. She looked up to see me staring incredulously at her.
She held up her tights, and said simply, ‘mask,’ as if I should have known that was what she was doing.
‘Law & Order again?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘Raising Arizona.’
‘I don’t know what that is.’
Anna looked with disbelief at me, at the mansion in front of us, and back to me again. ‘Do you really think now’s the best time for me to fill you in?’
‘No, I wasn’t saying that, I just meant…,’ I trailed off. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Anna shook her head in exasperation. ‘Are you ready?’
I probed once again within myself, searching for the new elements within me like you might search for tension during meditation. The more I used them, the more I recognised them inside of me - and, just then, they were burning strong.
‘Yeah. I guess so.’
‘Good,’ Anna replied, and then pulled a large kitchen knife from her bag.
‘What is that? When did you pick that up?’ I asked, incredulously.
‘I’ve been carrying it since I found you at Robert’s.’
‘Why did you… I mean, what made you-’
‘Again, Rey, is now the right time for this?’
I shook my head. ‘But… I… No, I guess not.’
Anna ripped her tights in two, and pulled one leg over her head, disguising her features and pushing her nose into her face. She offered me the other one.
‘No, thanks,’ I replied, ‘I’m ok.’
‘What, because it’s been on my leg? Don’t be a child, Rey.’
‘No, it’s not that. It’s just… what’s the point? As soon as I use these powers, they’re going to know exactly who I am, anyway.’
‘Sure, they might, but in the scenario that someone sees us, we’re not going to want these witnesses seeing who we are, are we?’
This hadn’t occurred to me. ‘No, I guess not. Are we expecting witnesses?’
‘I don’t know what we’re expecting, Rey. I’m hoping we can just walk in there, you do your… thing… and we walk out of there and forget all this ever happened. But it doesn’t hurt to be take precautions, does it?’
‘I guess not.’
I pulled the tights over my face and tried to ignore the smell of Anna’s feet.
‘One last chance, Rey, to back out of this.’
I paused to think for a moment. ‘What’s the worst case scenario if we don’t do this?’
‘More people die, Rey.’
‘And the best case scenario?’
‘I don’t know, maybe he hurts himself before he hurts anyone else?’ she replied.
‘Do you think that’s likely?’
‘No.’
‘Hmm.’
We sat in the car in silence for a few moments longer.
‘You’re giving me a lot of chances, are you sure it isn’t you who wants to back out?’
Anna paused for a moment.
‘No. I don’t. Let’s go.’
We were presented immediately by our first obstacle: the gate was closed, and topped - as with the perimeter wall - by metal spikes.
Anna looke
d to me. ‘Any ideas?’
I nodded. ‘One.’
I had wanted to treat the Shadow as a last resort, already the universe had other plans. I pictured the Shadow, forming it in my mind, summoning it to my form. Smoke began to rise from my arms, twisting and turning as it became thicker. In only a few seconds, it was there, within me, and I urged it to step forwards.
In front of me it stood: a Shadow. My Shadow. Having created one of my own, I could feel it for what it was - not truly a monster, and equally, not truly good. It simply was, and it had not yet done anything for human ethics of right and wrong to be thrust upon it.
The fear in Anna’s eyes, however, suggested otherwise - that she was looking at a monster, or a demon, or however she might choose to describe it. She stepped back a few paces, giving it space.
While I wasn’t directly possessing the Shadow’s form, it moved as though as part of my body. As if it were simply another appendage, I thought about it doing something - moving in a certain way - and it did it. It acted no differently than the rest of me, simply doing as the neurons in my brain commanded.
I moved it forwards, through the gate and towards the house.
‘So, we just gonna let that do all the hard work for us?’ Anna asked. ‘I’d definitely be up for that.’
As the Shadow moved further, I felt my control over it diminish, as though it were a remote controlled car with the signal weakening.
‘I don’t know if I…,’ I started, and then trailed off as I diverted all my mental energy to moving my Shadow onwards, towards the gate’s control box. When the Shadow reached it, it took most of my remaining energy to encourage it to press the button to open the barrier. In the distance, I saw it turn to face me.
As soon as the gate buzzed open, I let my go of my grip on the Shadow, and it dissipated, lost to the wind and the sky like all the other smoke I’d ever known. The grey cloud was regular, ordinary, with nothing to fear except perhaps that there was a fire nearby.
We moved into the mansion’s ground, keeping to one side of the gravel driveway, using the softness of the grass to mask the sound of our footsteps. We reached the front door of the house, and both took a few moments to gather ourselves before the task ahead. When she was ready, Anna nodded, and I kicked down the door.