by C. L. Stone
This had him leaning into her unwanted kiss instead of away, but he was about to break his teeth on hers at the same time. He split his lip with the act, a slice across his upper lip creating a new pain on top of a bruise that had been developing there.
There was a hushed moment then. Or perhaps his ears ceased input the moment he broke away, ripping himself from Danielle before she could do any more and then shoving her, probably more forcefully than he meant. That was the last straw. No more...He’d get the info from Marie another way. She had to know this was over the line...
But his attention drew to the other side of the room. Sang, with Jessica, standing just inside the room.
Jessica didn’t appear at all surprised. The guys were behind them. Lips were moving but with all that was going on; Nathan didn’t understand any of the words. His ears filled with ringing alarm, confusion from the pain and sudden shock.
It was Sang’s face that he locked in on.
Frozen.
Horrified.
Danielle was screaming at the boys and they were yelling back. Marie was backing off with the phone.
But Sang stood, wide eyed, swaying a bit where she was. Her face pale.
She turned, slowly, and Gabriel reached for her.
Only she put a hand up to him, warding him off, as she went for the front door in a jog.
Nathan tripped over Danielle as he started to go after her. Suddenly time returned to a normal pace.
Sang was gone and out the door before he could get to her.
Aftershock
Gabriel ran after Sang as she left. But Nathan couldn’t get to her because of everyone else in the way, including Victor, coming up to him to block him from going.
“Your lip,” he said.
“Fuck my lip,” Nathan said. He turned his fury onto Danielle.
This was her fault. Sang saw something without context and left, probably crazy out of her mind, and after everything that’d happened. He needed to go explain it to her.
With the others blocking the way to the front, Nathan grabbed his hoodie, and put it on as he threw open the sliding glass door and ran out.
Victor was calling out behind him but remained with the girls. Good. Someone else could deal with their crazy antics. He’d done enough.
He should have known Danielle would try something like that. It’d be just like her to time Sang and Jessica coming in the door in that moment.
Is that why she was taking so long? He had to wonder if this wasn’t the plan all along. Either revenge on Sang or jealousy or something horrible.
And he fell for it.
All because Danielle knew way too much. He wondered if they even had a name. Maybe Marie didn’t know anything, like Sang guessed. Danielle just made something up to get whatever she wanted.
Nathan started running first toward Kota’s house, but he realized quickly she wouldn’t go there.
Where would she go? Not back to the Sorenson house. She ran out front to the street. The woods on the other side perhaps?
Just in case, he ran to the bend in the curb, looking down the road.
He spotted Gabriel at the trailer behind the diner. He disappeared inside and the door closed.
Nathan ran that direction. At the diner, he slowed as a truck almost ran him over trying to get into the back of the lot, the big truck that made the food delivery. The driver honked at him a few times.
He probably looked insane, but he didn’t care. He dodged the truck and ran at the trailer.
Once he was on the stoop, he paused, his nerves rattling, ready with an explanation of how Danielle had tricked him.
He’d let it go too far.
It was his fault.
He tried to open the door and found it locked. He checked his pockets, no keys. He left them behind.
He knocked. “Let me in,” he said.
“Not now!” Gabriel said. “Go away.”
Nathan grabbed the door handle, shook it hard and rattled the door doing so. “Let me in! I need to talk to her!”
“Stop!” Gabriel said.
Stop? Why?
Or did he not understand, either? Was he with the others, mad at him for trying to help Sang by going to Lily before? He knew what really happened. Won’t he help him explain?
He tried the door again, and this time, he lifted the handle as high as he could and dropped it down, which sometimes allowed the locking mechanism to catch on locked doors.
It worked and the door opened.
But Gabriel blocked his way. His eyes were big, wild and his teeth bared.
“I said don’t come in!” he cried out. “Don’t you fucking listen?” He blocked the door with his body, trying to shove Nathan out.
“I need to talk to her!” He continued to press. “Let me in.”
“I’ve got her,” he said. “I’m not the one that royally fucked up.”
“Gabriel,” Nathan growled at him. “I’m giving you two seconds to get out of the way...”
“You’d have to kill me first,” he said, but he opened the door, standing in the way still. The room behind him was empty.
Nathan tried to peek around him. “Where is she?”
“Just leave her alone!” Gabriel said. He put a hand on his chest and shoved at him, but Nathan held his ground. “God damn. You’ve done enough. How could you do all that to her?”
“I did it for her!” Nathan said. “Just let me talk to her.”
Gabriel shoved at him again. “I said back off.” When Nathan still didn’t back away, he shoved lower.
Nathan had another bout of pain radiating as Gabriel hit a spot that had been injured before. Nathan leaned forward, reacting to it and lost his balance as his legs collided with Gabriel.
Gabriel fell back, with Nathan on top of him, with Gabriel’s nose connecting with Nathan’s forehead.
When Nathan got up over him, Gabriel’s nose and mouth were bleeding. A slew of loud curses flung out from Gabriel’s face as he tried to shove him away.
“Sorry!” Nathan cried out, and he reached up, touching at Gabriel’s face, shocked at the blood pouring out, like his hand could somehow stop it.
But Gabriel was swinging, the anger erupting from him. He swung fists wildly out, striking at Nathan. “You keep the hell away from her! How could you ruin this for us?”
Sang burst out of the bathroom, standing out in the tiny hall. She looked over Gabriel and then Nathan, the horror on her face taking over. “Get off of him!” she cried out.
Nathan pulled himself up. This was his fault. Gabriel and Sang may never understand he didn’t mean to fall on him, and it looked like he’d attacked him.
He was only making it worse.
He needed to get away.
He ran out of the trailer and flew off the steps.
“Nathan!” Sang cried out in his wake.
But he didn’t stop. Blindly, he ran off. He ran until he was down the road, but he didn’t go home, couldn’t go home. Victor was likely there. He couldn’t go to Kota’s.
He needed to get someplace where he could think. His wild mind just wanted him to disappear. His heart wrenched into a tiny ball.
Kota’s car was parked in his usual spot. Nathan went to it, opened it, popping the trunk.
He found book bags inside, and he searched them for keys. He found a set.
He drove off, the tires screeching as he peeled out of Sunnyvale.
Wounded
Sang
I ran from Nathan’s house because I didn’t want the others to see.
They couldn’t see me upset on what I’d walked in on.
My reaction.
My face, I was sure, was unexplainable.
Why would a girl supposedly going out with Kota—or Silas or whoever they thought—be upset about Nathan?
I knew it was a trick. I knew there was something going on. Danielle was tricky as it was, and I was sure, dead sure, Nathan hadn’t meant it.
It still hurt. Which shocked me in a way I
wasn’t expecting.
Jealousy took over, so strong, so overwhelming. Even as Victor and Gabriel told me it wasn’t what it looked like in front of all of them, and while I still believed it, I couldn’t stay.
I was crying before I even got to the front door. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was why I had to run off. Despite knowing it was a trick, I couldn’t allow Danielle and the others to see me in such a state.
And I couldn’t go back to Kota’s. I didn’t know where else to go. At first, I was just running as fast as I could, just to get away.
I realized I was heading to the diner. I was in the lot before I thought where to go next. Not into public, not into the diner.
So I went to the trailer, hoping no one was there.
I found it unlocked. When I went in, the front room was empty.
I heard shouting behind me, my name being called. I didn’t even know by who. I just knew someone came after me.
I didn’t want any of them to see me like this. With tears covering my face, my sight blurred. My breathing was almost as rapid as my heart was racing.
I dove into the bathroom, closing the door just as the trailer’s door opened up.
Gabriel shouted at me through the locked bathroom door just as I pressed my body to it.
“Sang!” he cried out. “Let me in!”
“No!” My scream cracked and coming out as a screech, in a voice not my own. I couldn’t explain myself. Not like this. “Go away!”
He tried the handle, finding it locked, but I knew he’d find a way to open it.
“Don’t you open that door!” I called to him. “Just...give me a minute!”
He backed off for a second. “Sang!” he cried, and I sensed his voice wavering, for me, for the pain I was in. It made it more difficult to ignore.
So I covered my ears with my palms, ignoring him, keeping my back to the door in case he tried to get in.
I needed to be alone.
I needed to stop the image in my head. The crazy moment walking in with Danielle pressing herself to him. With Nathan and her kissing.
That wasn’t what it was. He’d practically fallen over, ripped away from her angrily. He was very upset with her. I’d seen him with his eyes shut, unhappy and with her leaning into him for the kiss. Not him, her. All Danielle.
But my heart didn’t understand that. All I kept seeing was him with someone else, and it hurt.
I pressed my ears, as if I could squash hard enough the sight of them kissing could go away.
In my crying, I knew. I suddenly knew everything I was asking the boys to accept. To take on for themselves and ignore.
Like Kota had felt when he walked in on me kissing Gabriel.
I’d known he was in pain. Even though later he admitted he knew it had been happening and he’d ignored it, just seeing it upset him.
It wasn’t until Nathan and Danielle that I realized the tremendous pain I was putting them all through. I was horrified at myself.
How could I ask them to do this? To be okay with not just knowing, but possibly seeing something like this?
And knowing it was fake, it made my feelings toward what they were going through layer guilt upon me. If it had been real, like I’d done with the others, how much worse would I feel?
I was the hypocrite among them. The full weight of reality lowered itself onto my shoulders, crushing all the ideals I’d had before about this relationship.
Was it fair to ask them to only date me? Lily’s team had decided that they wanted to marry her, but was what they went through...could they go through this pain every day?
The shouting drew me out of my depth of thought, and I lowered one hand to hear it clearer, still unable to tell what was going on.
I opened the door just a crack to peek out, prepared to hold my ground inside the bathroom.
Gabriel was shoving himself at Nathan. Something happened, and Nathan tripped over Gabriel, landing hard, his forehead hitting Gabriel in the nose.
They continued to fight, with Gabriel shouting at him.
I couldn’t take this. I opened the bathroom door, shouting at Gabriel, wanting him to stop attacking Nathan.
Nathan recoiled when he looked at me, appearing stricken. In a flash, he was up and out of the trailer.
No! He shouldn’t leave! Not in the state he was in. “Nathan!” I cried out, and stumbled to the door, wanting to stop him. The door had slammed shut behind him.
Gabriel was on the ground, blocking my way, and he was bleeding badly.
I stopped, agony making me ache in every bone. I dropped down, hovering over Gabriel, looking over the damage.
His eyes were squinty as he covered his face. “Motherfucker...”
“Stop talking,” I said, surprised at how angry I sounded. I didn’t have anything nearby so I ripped off the shirt I was wearing, leaving myself in only a bra. I held the shirt to his nose. “Stop the bleeding.”
Gabriel winced as the cloth touched him, but he took over, holding it to his face. He sat up on his other elbow, and looked at me. “There’s a med kit. In that bathroom.”
I wanted to leave him to clean himself up, but I couldn’t do it. Nathan needed me, but Gabriel needed help too.
I went to the bathroom to retrieve the kit and brought it to him.
It took several minutes before the blood subsided enough that we could see the damage. His nose wasn’t broken, only severely split along one edge, and his lip was bleeding, too.
“He’s got the head of a rock,” he said.
In those moments, I realized Nathan wasn’t coming back. “I think I should go after him,” I said.
“Why?” Gabriel said. “Did you see what that motherfucker did?”
I pulled back from him. Now that this happened, it had jarred me from my crying jag reaction into something colder, ready to face whatever this was. There was too much pain, overwhelmingly thick between us all. I needed to help repair it before the damage was irreversible.
This wasn’t their fault.
“Danielle tricked him, didn’t she?” I asked.
“He was dumb enough to fall for it.” He picked up the bloodied shirt and the med kit, going to the bathroom with gauze at his nose. He stood in the bathroom, looking in the mirror and angling his face to check out the damage. “I may need stitches.”
“We should get you to the hospital,” I said. “But you shouldn’t blame Nathan for what happened. I know Danielle probably did something to get him to do that. And I know he was supposed to be friendly with them to get information from them.”
“Then why did you run off?” he asked. He dropped the stuff into the sink of the bathroom. Keeping the gauze to his face, he taped it in place. “Fuck, it hurts.”
I crossed my arms over my stomach, wanting to help him but he was doing it all to himself. It was chillier in the room wearing just the bra. “I didn’t want Danielle and Marie to see me reacting to it.”
“Then why didn’t you let me in?” Gabriel said, he dropped his attention from his taped up nose to look at me. He reached for me, putting hands on my shoulders. “You scared the shit out of me. You walked in, I thought...that was it. That you’d change your mind about all this. If you broke it off with Nathan...”
I closed my eyes. He was so close to me. I couldn’t answer him.
I wasn’t sure I could tell him.
“Sang,” he said, his voice softer now. “Trouble...”
I shook my head, still refusing to look at him.
Only I kept seeing Nathan kissing Danielle.
And the pain returned. After the shock of their fight wore off, it all came back. The agony. The hurt.
Realizing the truth.
Gabriel gripped me, shaking me softly. “Sang!” he cried out. “Don’t do this to me. Please...”
“I can’t do this,” I whispered, opening my eyes a bit but not looking at him. Blurred with tears, I shook where I stood, every part of me breaking down.
I slumped and he followed me to th
e floor. In a heap, I was crying again. I thought I could work through it, but I couldn’t stop thinking of the damage I was doing.
“I’m sorry you saw all that,” he said, his voice a harsh whisper. He scooped me up, putting me in his lap.
I wanted to cry alone, but I couldn’t pull away from him. It was a comfort I didn’t deserve.
But I pressed my face into his shoulder anyway. It was selfish of me. He needed to get to a doctor. I needed to get to Nathan. Nathan didn’t deserve to feel like he had to run off.
But we needed this moment so I could break it down, because I’d ignored it for too long.
“Tell me it’s not over,” Gabriel whispered. His tears were flowing freely and he held me close to him. “Sang, you can’t do this.”
“I can’t do this to them,” I let out. The burning in my lungs making it one of the hardest things I ever had to say to him. “I can’t...do this to you.”
“Do what?”
I looked up, his crystal eyes blurry to me. “I can’t ask you all to feel this every time...I didn’t know what I was asking fully. But I know now. I know what Kota felt, what you feel...I can’t ask them to go through this every day...forever...”
Gabriel’s face contorted. He shook his head slowly, forming syllables but not finishing a word.
He gripped me and tightened his hold around me. “It’s not you asking us,” he said. “We’re asking you. That’s how it has to be. And it is.”
“I can’t...”
“You can if it is what we want.” His chin shifted as he spoke against my forehead. “Because I can’t ask you to pick me over Victor. Or Kota...or the others.”
Pick one?
I heard him say this, and my mind tried to keep up with the context. If I didn’t accept the relationship we’d been considering, what was the alternative?
Picking one.
Or none...
But could I ever do that?
I lowered my head until I could bury it into his shoulder again. I didn’t have an answer. It was like picking which of my fingers I wanted to keep, picking one to live with alone. It didn’t make sense.