“It wasn’t a trap. She created the dimension to protect him from Tarius’ followers and from himself.”
“He didn’t need protection.” Halen looped her fingers in the handle of the teacup. “Did you know he plans to rule the realms?”
“Asair never wanted that.” She chuckled. “Asair placed the spell on Etlis to halt the war, in order to end the suffering of the Etlins. I asked him for his help and he willingly gave up his soul for the realms. Etlis is sealed with the fate of his life.” Jae leaned forward, her eyes deepened. “Asair must live.”
Halen pinched the bridge of her nose as her headache muddled her thoughts. If what Jae was saying was true, then Asair had deceived her as well. Are you there, you big fat liar? she asked, but he said nothing. “How do I know you’re not lying? If Tarius is the reason Asair sealed off an entire realm, why not just kill him and let the shifters go home?”
“Tarius’ bones shriveled to dust many moons ago.”
A stag.
A boy.
A river of blood.
Halen grasped the cushions, as her mind swirled with the images she couldn’t shake from her thoughts.
Jae continued, “But his spirit is very much alive. If he were freed from Etlis, he could take any form he wishes.” She set her cup and saucer down, and then leaned forward. “He is a wave rolling near the shore of your soul waiting to drag you out to his hellish sea.” She stood and returned to the fire, palms flat against the heat of the flames. Her body cast a long shadow on the concrete wall. “Tarius’ weapon is fear.”
Halen swallowed back her own fear, pushing away the crimson river from her thoughts.
“Fear has the power to transform to self-doubt and, in time, rage. If you give it power, fear will destroy you. Tarius infected the Etlins; they couldn’t see beyond the terror he planted in their minds.”
“Why didn’t Asair stop him then, instead of sealing off Etlis?” If Asair had the power, why didn’t he use it?
“Asair was so close. I pushed him beyond boundaries.” She bowed her head. “I did terrible things to him, unforgivable things.” She faced Halen. “Still, he fought, but Tarius’ followers outnumbered us. The Tari tore through the realms slaughtering humans and Etlins. When the Elosians sealed themselves off, it gave us an idea. We abandoned Etlis and sealed Tarius and all those filled with his spirit inside.”
“But why the fires?”
“Tarius fought back. The dragons joined with fire while Asair conjured the spell, but Tarius twisted the flame’s energy weaving it into his magick spinning it into a curse, leaving Etlis consumed with eternal fire.”
“And then you hid Asair? Why?”
“His soul sealed Etlis. We had to protect him. Natalie would have popped Mariela’s spell right open, but she would have killed Asair as well. You, however…” She rubbed her hands together. “You are filled with the light of Galadia. No matter how far Dax brought you into the darkness, you never would have taken his life.”
Halen bit back her lip. Jae was giving her way too much credit. She’d had every intention of killing Asair. Without Dax, she was no better than her sister. Perhaps her sister would be different, if Dax were still her Guardian. “Dax saved me from the darkness in my soul.”
Jae shook her head. “Dax binds you in Tarius’ chains. This is why you must let him go.”
Halen rubbed her forehead. This information overload made her already aching head spin. Asair was a saint—Dax a monster. She didn’t know what to believe.
“I know it will take time to digest.”
No kidding. Halen sipped her tea. “What happens now—to Asair?” Where was he, by the way? All this talk of him and he hadn’t chimed in once.
“I’ll perform the purge. He says he’s not safe inside you, which is unfortunate. Your mother thought you two would merge nicely.”
“She what?” Her mom hid so much. Was anything she ever told her real? She eyed Jae. Had her mom sent her here for another reason?
“Your powers are twice as strong together and you have similar souls. She felt you would be a good match.”
“We’re nothing alike. You didn’t see him in his dimension. He’s smug, arrogant and—”
“Would you have tried to kill him if he had said please? He did what needed to be done.”
Halen picked the loose stuffing from the couch. Jae was right; they would still be there if Asair had spoken nicely to her. Another trick. Damn it, Asair.
This got his attention. I only did what was necessary. Once you let me go, I will leave you alone. Jae will cast me another fortress, this time without a key.
“All spells have a key,” Jae said. “What we need is a better lock.”
“You can hear him?” Halen set the teacup down hard. “Oh, come on. Isn’t anything private?
Jae shrugged.
“What kind of lock are you thinking? How can I help?” She couldn’t believe she was asking this question.
“Circle of three.” Jae clapped her hands. “Three blue moon siren souls would seal the portal nicely. But you would need Natalie.”
“Our souls?” Halen sunk farther into the sofa. What had her mother gotten her into? This was not a good plan.
Jae spoke, “The spell wouldn’t break unless all three of your hearts stopped beating. Much better odds than binding the curse to one soul. There is the problem of the Guardian, though. I fear you are too close to him.”
“Dax wants the fires to stop.” Dax hadn’t lied about wanting Etlis to open. Did he lie about the reason why he wanted to break the spell? He had done everything in his power to make sure she killed Asair. She bowed her head. Despite everything Jae said, she still believed in Dax. “Maybe Daspar lied to him as well?” If she could just look into his eyes and see for herself.
The bond makes you feel connected to him. Believe me, I know, Asair said.
“You felt this way with Elizabeth, didn’t you?”
It was far worse. Since I’ve been with you, I’ve been helping to block your feelings.
“What? You have no right to do that!”
You practically jumped him in the car and in the…
Halen held up her hand. “Okay, I get it. I needed a hose.”
Asair laughed.
“It’s not funny.”
I know. Your feelings are strong.
“I’m so confused.”
Then hold on to him. Your heart will show you the truth. Don’t listen to Jae—don’t listen to me. You have the answers right in front of you.
“There isn’t time for games.” Jae sniffed the rim of a jar filled with scarlet flowers and then set it on her desk. “You need her.”
She spared my life.
He was sticking up for her. This was the most confusing thing of all. “I tried to kill you.”
I provoked you.
She could hear the smile behind his words. How in his dimension he had teased her, flirted with that seductive grin.
Still dreaming of me?
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what to believe,” she said to Jae, “but I do know you need to get him out of my head. At least then I can think on my own.”
Her friends’ faces flashed through her thoughts one by one. Was she blind? Had they all lied? “What about my friends—Tage and Ezra?” Just speaking their names stung. “Catch and Pepper?” Her voice was but a whisper.
Lies run deep, darling.
“SO, IT’S AGREED, we purge.” Jae’s mournful tone set Halen on edge.
“Asair said a purge was dangerous.” Halen wrung her hands.
Jae tapped the end of her chin, as if she were lost in thought.
Asair answered. I won’t hold on.
“You have nothing to fear.” Jae checked several bottles on her desk and then frowned. “I’m a little short of tallimar. I’ll have to go to the garden. Will you be okay for a few minutes without me?”
Halen nodded.
She brought out a long key from the pocket of her robe, and then
inserted it in the door. “For your safety, of course.”
“Of course,” Halen said, though she had the feeling the lock was to keep her from bolting. When she heard the click of the key, Halen poured another cup of tea. Her hands jiggled and the tea spilled over the saucer.
Don’t worry—Jae knows what she’s doing.
“What happens if you hold on?”
It wouldn’t be good for either of us.
I can’t trust you. Not after all your tricks. As she sipped the tea, she thought of the drink he had given her to quench her thirst. You made me drink your blood. Was that necessary?
Quite. You were much stronger than I had anticipated. I had to maintain some control of the situation. You were so determined. I thought you might actually kill me.
I thought I had. Another one of your games. You see why I might be skeptical of anything you say.
I’m sorry about that too. I know how much guilt you felt over my death. I wanted to kill Dax myself for the way he played you.
He didn’t make me do it. You did! You didn’t give me any other option.
The Tari are the real demons. If I hadn’t drawn you into my darkness, then Dax wouldn’t have come for you. He needed to witness my death; otherwise, the Tari would have killed you the minute you left the dimension. I took you to that dark place to protect you.
You and Dax have screwed up ways of protecting people. She drank the tea in tiny sips, and then yawning, she set the cup down. Her headache subsided, but now, speaking to Asair this way, drowsiness set in.
He’s nothing like me.
And yet, you both think you can play with my magick.
I was willing to do whatever it takes. You’re hesitant. You let your emotions guide you—control you. If you had surrendered to me right away, I could have harnessed your power to enforce the spell.
How could you expect me to give my life so willingly?
I was wrong to try. I should have brought you to Jae without hesitation. I’m sorry.
His apology spread through her; her stomach knotting with his remorse. I don’t think more magick is the way to fix Etlis. Halen rested her neck on the back of the couch. Above, a celestial battlefield covered the ceiling. Tiny painted dots meticulously played out a war of the constellations. She recognized the constellation of Orion by his three-starred belt. But instead of Orion holding his sword over his head, the star-tipped sword punctured the heart of Ursa Major. She thumbed the stone Tasar had given her. He had said she was now a part of Etlis. Maybe that wasn’t such a good thing. I think we should just stop, before we create more damage.
We have to rebind the spell. The fire rings are just the beginning.
Her eyelids grew heavy. She fought to keep Orion’s belt in her gaze. I’m so tired. I don’t want to think anymore.
This is too much for anyone to handle. I’m sorry, he said.
Are you going to keep apologizing? I don’t want to start liking you.
He laughed and Halen felt it roll in her stomach.
Despite what you think, I like you very much. I’ve watched you for a long time.
That’s creepy, you know. She slid down to the velvet pillows and lay on her side.
Any creepier than you sifting through my memories?
You’ve only shown me bits of your life. If you want me to trust you, you have to stop hiding. Show me who you really are and I may actually help you.
He was silent and she thought maybe he had retreated. “Asair?” Her voice sounded so loud.
I’m here.
Well? She asked.
I haven’t always done what’s right.
Halen rubbed her cheek against the rough velvet. She had done a lot wrong, but nothing compared to willingly going after Asair with the intention of taking his life. I haven’t been so good myself.
Be still, then, and I’ll show you.
Halen didn’t expect his life to rush at her all at once. Like doves set free from a magician’s trunk, his memories flitted through her mind; his mother, his father, birthdays…and a scruffy beige dog with wiry fur that tickled Asair’s cheeks when he kissed him floated through her thoughts. Then there was Elizabeth—even when they were apart, his thoughts drifted to her. He was never really free. His memories were tiles on a wall, and she joined the entire picture of his life into one beautiful mosaic.
His emotions consumed her as well: the loneliness of the dimension tugging at his will, the joy he gained while following her life, and then the fear of leaving the safety of his dimension. His dedication to protect the realms was overwhelming. As every part of him melded with her, she understood his motives; felt his struggle when she wouldn’t give into him, the fear of the rings of fire, and the guilt for not being strong enough to do something about it. He had all but given up until he was in Jae’s arms. He believed that together, they could undo the damage he created. He believed in her.
A STAG WITH golden antlers glimmering against the sun.
A boy with a charred face.
A river of blood rising over the bones of the dead.
You killed them all, the wind whispered her sins.
No, she cried as the crimson tide swept her away.
Halen awoke with a start, stifling her screams against the velvet pillow.
“Restless dreams?”
Halen followed the voice. Jae sat at the wooden desk; the worn desk legs marked like a tree etched with lovers’ promises. In front of Jae were seven open bottles, which filled the air with the scents of maple syrup and pine needles on a crisp winter morning.
Halen sat up, her head light.
“The tea was too strong. I never get it right for your kind; must have been too much likwipson powder.” She cast her gaze to the starry ceiling. “I hope you didn’t have nightmares.”
Halen shook her head, though the river of blood dragged her thoughts away.
“Good. I’m happy you had a rest because now we have to wake your body up.” She stood, and an oval tray appeared in her hands. Halen’s eyes widened as she brought it over and set it on the ottoman. Cupcakes, icing piled high, pink meringue cookies, a bowl of jellybeans, gumdrops, and two bottles of soda filled the tray. “Sugar helps with the purge.” Jae scooped a red jellybean and popped it in her mouth.
A sickly Hansel and Gretel feeling came over Halen.
“Go on.” Jae prodded.
She chose a vanilla cupcake with blue frosting and coconut shavings on top. As she peeled back the paper, she poked the cake checking for signs of a glamour.
“You need to consume everything on the tray.”
“I couldn’t. There’s enough sugar here to raise the dead.”
“You have time to eat. This is just the first stage. We have a long way to go. I’m going to continue mixing potions.” She stepped away. Her movements were elegant, careful and quick like a fox, but Halen doubted a fox was her animal counterpart.
“Will it hurt?” Halen asked as Jae settled behind the desk. She hadn’t thought of how one removed a soul from another. She envisioned a lot of ripping and tearing. She set the cupcake down.
“Asair is ready to leave.” Jae sniffed the air, and then chose a bottle to her left filled with an orange liquid.
A raccoon, Halen thought.
The liquid shifted to black in Jae’s grip.
No, not deadly enough.
“It only hurts when the soul hangs on.”
“But where will he go?” Halen thought of the Hunter’s soul, which now hung from a cord on Dax’s chain.
“I have a host.”
“What?” Halen shrank back. Wolf, she thought. Maybe Jae hunted a host. Did she lure them like one of her birds, trap them in a cage?
“He volunteered.” Jae waved her hand dismissively, reading her thoughts.
“Someone volunteered? Is he an Etlin?”
“He’s a siren. The host is strong of body and mind, but he’s agreed to surrender. This will make the merge pleasant. He’s also positioned well within the Tari. Asair w
ill be able to walk amongst them and not be detected.”
“How do you know he won’t kill Asair?”
“I said he was positioned within the Tari; his heart is with the light weavers. I’ve watched over him.” She cleared her throat. “The boy wants restoration in the realms. He would give anything for the spirit of Galadia to rule.”
“And Asair is okay with this?” After seeing his memories, she felt protective of him. She knew he felt lost, more than once in his life. A part of him was empty, and that tugged at her emotions. She shared this feeling of displacement, and she didn’t know if there would ever be a place either of them belonged.
“We spoke while you were sleeping. This is what he wants. He was hoping you would help him bind the spell, but if you won’t, then he has another plan.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t help,” Halen said.
“He thinks you should wait.” Jae rolled a thin silver tube along her desk, pressing yellow flowers flat.
“He doesn’t get to decide this for me. Besides, the realms can’t wait.”
“I can try to patch the spell with him,” Jae said.
“Or I could help.” She fiddled with the paper on the cupcake, peeling back the edge.
“Your hesitation troubles me.”
“If I’m hesitant, it’s because no one is straight up with me.”
“Even so, there is the issue of your Guardian. Asair says you're very attached to him.” She nodded toward the bracelet. “We can’t have Dax interfering. He wants Tarius free.”
“You don’t know that for sure.” After all he had done for her, Halen couldn’t imagine he did it all just to free a demon. “Dax is not what you think.”
“Let him show you who he is, then you will believe.” Jae spilled four drops of golden liquid on top of the flowers. “Even if you can’t release him, Dax has something we need to bind the spell, and I need you to get it for us.”
“What?” she asked, fearing the answer.
“The Hunter’s soul. We need an immortal soul to bind the spell.”
“Dax will never give it up.”
“I’m sure there’s a way to get close.” Jae peered up. “I don’t think you will find it that challenging.” She nodded toward the tray. “Keep eating. I need your blood sugar up…”
Curses and Ash (The Siren Chronicles Book 2) Page 18