“I know,” I said. “And I did it anyway.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I didn’t want to lose my job over it,” I said by way of an answer.
“Saying you didn’t want consequences isn’t the same thing as being sorry you broke both a man’s hand. Why his left? Was that significant?”
“I knew he was left-handed.”
“So you don’t believe in anger management?”
“For me or for domestic abusers?” I asked sarcastically.
“Either, I guess,” he said with a half-smile. “You got an unpaid suspension and you had to do conflict resolution training, right?”
“Right.”
“So did it help?”
“I didn’t beat the shit out of anybody else, if that’s what you mean.”
“So you restrained yourself because of what you learned in training?”
“You can look at it that way if you want,” I said. “Or you could say I didn’t run into any more repeat offenders who put their toddlers in the hospital. Did my record say what he did to that baby? For crying, Brody. He was mad that the kid was crying during his Call of Duty match or whatever game. So he decided to shut him up. That kid is never gonna be okay again. And I think maybe neither will I after what I saw. That—monster—should be glad I didn’t kill him.”
“Did you want to?” he said honestly.
“Yeah. The reason I didn’t is it wouldn’t help the baby. And he’d escape punishment if he was dead. Also I didn’t want to go to jail because criminals aren’t nice to cops in there.”
“So it was a decision based on mercy and compassion?” he said wryly.
“I feel some things very deeply, what can I say?” I shrugged. “I’m not proud of the way I acted, but I don’t lose any sleep regretting it either. The little boy survived and he can even walk again now, but it’s never really going to be over for him and his mom.”
“Or for you?” Brody asked, his voice gentler than I’d ever heard it. I shook my head.
“Part of the job,” I said roughly. “Seeing shit nobody else can face, so maybe we can stop it.”
“You got that right,” he said.
At the next stop, a parking lot behind a closed-down car lot, we found nothing but a bunch of candy wrappers and some fast food bags, an empty bottle of a cheap whiskey that gave me the sickest hangover of my life. I watched Brody pick it up and put it in a trash bin. He looked at me over his shoulder.
“Did you and Damon ever drink that?” I said.
“Whoa yeah we did. Thought we were badass, too.”
“How’d that go for you?” I teased.
“Fine. We were strong, mature men. We never suffered from a hangover at all. I personally didn’t get found curled up in a fetal position on the bathroom floor by my dad afterward either. I had to mow every lawn on my street for two months just for being so stupid. He actually marched me to every door while I was still miserable from the headache and puking, and made me tell the neighbors I was going to be mowing their lawns for free for the next eight weeks to teach me a lesson about responsibility.”
“Did it teach you anything?”
“Don’t fuck up in the middle of July. Lord, it was hot that year. And I couldn’t quit till they were all done. It took all day every Saturday and sometimes part of Sunday, too. I was so worn out I didn’t party the rest of the summer.”
“So your dad’s strategy worked,” I observed.
“Not really. I partied pretty hard Labor Day weekend. We went out on the river; some fool took his dad’s boat. We got drunk, damn near drowned ourselves trying to act cool. Someone had the sense to make us all strap on life jackets before we got wasted, or we’d be dead,” he chuckled.
“Isn’t that a sign of old age, Brody? Laughing about the dangerous crap you did when you were young?”
“You are so much like Damon it’s shocking sometimes,” he said, but his voice wasn’t sarcastic. “You know that SOB saved my life after Missy died.”
“Did he strap a life jacket on you?” I retorted, then caught. “Sorry,” I added.
“No, he made me laugh at her wake. I was so far down by that time they might as well have shoved me in the hole too. But there’s Damon making a toast at the wake, and says something like, ‘to Brody, who ruined my plans. I was best man at the wedding, and I looked forward to comforting your widowed bride at some point, but here you are. Alive and well. You contrary bastard,’” he shook his head. “And I laughed, a rusty, half-hearted laugh, but it was the first time I felt like I was awake since hospice got called in. I’d gone through motions, just miserable all the time, and nothing to look forward to. And then Damon cracks a joke at the wake, and it was like he threw me a lifeline. He started making me play basketball with him, and meeting me for a beer on Tuesdays—all the nice shit he did for me that first six months. I can never repay him.”
“Maybe you can show up at his wedding and promise to date his widow, show her a good time,” I said, trying to cover a well of emotion. My brother, that good-hearted asshole. I’d give him a bear hug for that.
“I should do that. He’d get a kick out of it, I know. That’s one of the reasons I’m telling you shit, I guess. I’m comfortable with you. You remind me of him.”
“Gee, thanks, Brody. You know how to sweet talk a girl,” I said with an eye roll. “There’s nothing women like better than being told we remind you of our older brothers. That’s hot.”
“Hey, at least you can’t say I’m harassing you,” he shrugged good-naturedly.
“If you’re trying to hit on me, you’re doing a terrible job,” I lied. Ever since he looked at me, ever since he mentioned the little league games, he could’ve had me any way he wanted me. He was so damned honorable, and such a stand-up guy.
“I’m a little rusty at that kind of thing. I don’t know if I was one and done or what, but after my wife passed away, I never could get interested in anyone else,” he said, “but don’t tell Damon I said so. He already says I’m going to quit and join the seminary because I’d be so good in a celibate order.”
“I highly doubt that,” I blurted out.
He didn’t look at me, just cocked an eyebrow, “Why’s that?”
“Look at you,” I said matter-of-factly. “I have eyes. You’ve walked by a mirror a time or two.”
“Are you saying you find me attractive?” he teased.
“No, of course not. First, that’s unprofessional. Second, your ego is crazy. You look like my brother’s friend who used to stick his sweaty armpit in my face when I was a kid.”
“I never did that.” I gave him credit for saying it totally straight-faced.
“Old age, Brody. Your memory’s slipping,” I teased.
“This is the last stop on the tour of teen hot spots. And my memory’s just fine.”
The falls on the river gave our town its name, but it wasn’t just that. There was something about them, watching that water made me feel so peaceful. I rolled my lips under and sighed.
“Now it feels like I’m home,” I said.
“Good. That was sweet. Now get out and look for body parts and stuff,” he deadpanned. I rolled my eyes.
“Now you’re making dismemberment jokes? And I was worried about my sense of humor, jeez,” I said.
“You know damn well that the last thing I want is to find out foul play is involved. I hope she ran off to become a superstar and we’ll find her on the road to the city lights or something.”
We went over the area carefully, but we didn’t find anything suspicious. I picked up a blue earring with my gloved hand and put it in a tiny evidence bag just in case. But a quick text to the Simms parents determined that Becky didn’t have any piercings, not even her ears. She had a lifelong fear of needles apparently. I dumped the earring back where I found it in case the person who lost it came back to look for it.
I saw Brody on his phone, and he shook his head. Probably Bobby and Clint hadn’t gotten very far either.
We needed a lead on this kid before twenty-four hours ticked away and the odds swung drastically toward recovery instead of rescue. I stretched my arms above my head, letting the cool breeze off the river lift the piece of hair that had straggled loose along my neck. I took a long breath and yawned, mouth wide open. I had that feeling again, the sickly tingle up my spine that was like a hundred spiders marching up to my hairline. I bent to act like I was tying my boot and glanced around, but I didn’t see anyone. Someone was watching me. I was pretty sure. I tried to shake it off. I’d gotten up too early, and I wasn’t used to all this open space after years in the city. Maybe the whole missing girl case had given me the creeps more than I wanted to admit. Anyway, it might be nothing. I’d keep a lookout and stay on my guard. I didn’t want to tell Brody and have him thinking I got spooked that easily. Like I was going to fly into a panic because I heard a twig snap in the woods or some small animal was eyeing me from the brush.
We climbed back in the car, and I drank noisily from my mostly empty iced coffee just to break the silence.
“You okay?” he said.
“Yeah,” I told him, “just a little tired probably.”
“Same here. I missed my workout. Not to mention a couple hours sleep I was counting on,” he said.
“We should get something to eat,” I said.
“I got some almonds in the glove box. A bag of jerky, probably some dried fruit.”
“I meant food. Not, like, trail rations.”
“Protein’s good for you. The fruit’s for emergencies.”
“I’m not sure you understand emergencies. Fruit is for everyday. Chocolate is for emergencies.”
“Chocolate, huh? Kinda basic,” he said, giving me hell. I shook my head.
“I own that. I like iced coffee and chocolate and I love my Uggs. I think they go with everything in the winter, even though winter isn’t really that cold around here.”
“Nothing is ever that cold around here unless you go to the mountains. The only thing I don’t love about this place is how hot it is all the time.”
“It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity,” I said automatically, trying to peel my sweaty shirt away from where it was clinging to my stomach. Polyester in the heat was not fun.
“Why do people say that? It’s not even noon, and it’s scorching out. Anyone with sense is in a pool or air conditioning right now.”
“Hey, I got plenty of sense. I just work for a living. For what it’s worth, Charleston is hot as balls, too. But here you can look at the river which seems to cool you off for a minute.”
“That’s just a hallucination from the heat,” he deadpanned, and blasted the A/C. “I know, it needs the Freon refilled again. It’s not a new car.” He sighed. “Every time I have to get it filled up, I have to sign paperwork that says I know it’s horrible for the environment. Like I’m admitting wrongdoing and I don’t care about nature. I do care about nature, but I guarantee my sweaty, swamp ass isn’t good for the environment either.”
I snorted. I squinted my eyes shut. “You are so gross. Here’s a hint. Don’t put swamp ass on your dating profile.”
“Really? That disgusted you? You have a mouth like your brother—I’ve never heard a woman say ‘hot as balls’ before. But you’re too delicate for swamp ass?”
“Hey, I’m a lady.” I laughed. “I shouldn’t have to think about such things.”
“You broke some dude’s hand on purpose. You’re not a lady.”
“Yes I am. Because that’s all I did. I didn’t stomp his face in, the rat bastard. See—ladylike.”
“Yeah, rat bastard is perfect for afternoon tea,” he snarked.
“God, it’s good to be back here, Brody,” I said, laughing and wiping at my streaming eyes.
“It’s good to have you back. I think your wiseass attitude may be just what the department needs.”
“What, for the Christmas party?”
“For everything. You won’t let us get lazy. You’re too quick and too ready to give me hell. My chief’s badge means nothing to you. You know you’re my equal, and you’ll call me out on shit.”
“To be fair, your chief’s badge would impress six-year-olds a lot, probably. Go hang out in first grade and get some attention.”
“See, exactly. I mean, I’m thinking about the case, we’re doing our job, but you’ve kept my mind off the worst outcome, which will help keep me focused on the search. That’s not a small thing, Vance. It’s a fucking survival skill. And I’m glad you’re on my team.”
“I’ve never had someone thank me for busting their balls before. You’re most welcome.”
“You know how this job is, how dark it can be. Joking around with you makes it easier, makes it feel possible. Like we’re not just going through the motions before I have to tell Pat and Kayla that we did all we could, but it was too late.”
“That could still happen,” I said, “but not if I can help it.”
“You’ve got more steel than Damon. You can tell him I said so. He’s a great guy, probably my favorite person in the world, and loyal as hell. But he’s not going to go scorched earth on everything.”
“I think that means he has a sense of proportion and knows when to quit. I don’t. So what you’re describing is in his favor, even if you meant it as a compliment. Which, stop it. I don’t need flattery. I want to be good at my job.”
“You are good at your job,” Brody said, and I found his praise utterly exhilarating. What the hell was wrong with me?
“I have a feeling you’re good at everything you do, and you’ll run yourself ragged doing it,” he commented.
I shook my head. “I only have one setting Brody. Full steam ahead.”
“If I told you we had a wellness program you could go to, to help you cope with the hard parts of the job and make sure you make time for self-care—”
“Then you’re gonna have to buy me a drink. Every time someone says ‘self-care’ to me, or I hear it in a commercial, I feel like taking a shot. It’s a buzzword. I’m not gonna put on a mud mask and get my nails done. That’s fine for some people—my mom loves that kind of thing. It’s just not me.”
“Taking care of yourself just isn’t you?”
“What are you my dad? Which, PS, no one would give me worse hell than him if he saw me with face cream and cucumber slices on my eyes. He’d ask me if I thought I was the Queen of Sheba and maybe I should go clean the gutters if I got so much free time,” I chuckled.
“He’s a hell of a guy. Listen, if you need anything, any help with him, let us know. The guys on the force are good about that kind of thing. You should have seen the meals they filled my freezer with when Missy was sick. We have each other’s backs.”
“I don’t want a casserole from you, Brody. Or pity from the other cops. We’ve all got crap going on. And I’ve told you more in three hours than I told my partner in Charleston in a year and a half. Maybe it’s that I knew you growing up, or maybe you have that kind of face—in which case you’re wasted out here. Go do interrogations in the city. They need detectives who can get people to open up.”
“You seem like you use all the attitude and the mouth to keep people entertained and maybe to keep them at arm’s length, too. So if I got past that, if you’re comfortable with me, thank you. That means you trust me,” he said.
I could not handle him being sincere and sticking a pin in me like a balloon, seeing through me so clearly.
“You’re gonna have to dial back the Dr. Phil you got going on there,” I said. “You made it weird. Don’t make it weird.” I said gruffly.
I cleared my throat. I was not going to let him know how he’d affected me with what he said. Brody was not the kind of guy I could let get past my armor. I had Rachel to confide in and Damon when he wasn’t in annoying big bro mode. I didn’t need anyone else getting close. It was too much. I’d lost my partner in Charleston. I’d seen how it was to lose someone that important to me. Never again. Not with a cop, not with someone I cou
ldn’t protect. Not with my boss or my brother’s pal.
“This force, more so perhaps than bigger crews in the city, is a brotherhood. And this is what brothers do, isn’t it? Tease and torment each other, and tell the hard truths as well.”
“Damon just used to give me wedgies. The only hard truth he ever told me was I was too soft to cut it in the fire department so being a cop was fine for me, and also that I had a buttface.”
“Maybe back then… but you don’t now,” he said with a snicker.
Even through the joking and easy banter, the queasy feeling I couldn’t ignore wouldn’t go away. I tried to shake off the creepy feeling that someone had been watching us, watching me at the falls. I didn’t want my new boss to think I was paranoid or that I believed that stalkers were after us on my first day on the job. He said I had steel, more steel than Damon. So, it was time to prove it, and I couldn’t prove it by shaking in my boots over a baseless hunch. Like Brody said, lightening the mood was important in our line of work. It was one of the reasons we had so many outrageous practical jokers in our department in the city. We had to keep the nightmares at bay, at least when we were awake. We saw so much of the worst side of humanity. Sometimes humor, even the most obnoxious humor, was the best weapon we had against the dark.
8
Brody
We searched for hours but came up empty. There was no trace of Becky or where she’d been. I wondered what I could say to get the ex to come in for questioning. He hadn’t been very forthcoming when we called to find out if he’d heard from her. But, in fairness, if officials called me about an active investigation into a disappearance involving an ex, I’d probably say as little as possible too. Guilty or not, it wasn’t a bad idea to play his cards close to the vest. But I wanted to question him. Mostly because I didn’t know what else to do once I’d called all the hospitals in the neighboring counties later.
Driving back to the station, I gave a big yawn and shook myself to keep awake. I needed to go for a run, drink some water, get the blood flowing. I had to think clearly and not risk going loopy from too little sleep. Laura was beside me in the front seat of my cruiser, chewing her thumbnail.
Hot Cop: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 6