by Bella Street
Heller?
“He was remanded into the custody of the sheriff this morning and his supporters were expelled from the compound.”
What the flip?
“How do you know there won't be others?”
“Gareth, I assure you Fenn is taking this very seriously.”
His hand gripped Seffy's tighter. Ouch. “What's the situation on the outside?”
“Still zombie central.”
Gareth blew out a noisy breath. “ How are we ever gonna get out of here?” he muttered.
“We're doing the best we can. I'm sorry things have turned out badly for you.”
“Are you? I don't see the situation improving and we're being kept out of doing anything to help.”
“I understand your frustrations.”
“No, you don't. You know, instead of coming here every day to tell us nothing, why don't you go back to your boyfriend and just leave us alone.”
Whoa. Seffy would've smiled if it wouldn't make her cry. She listened for Fiona's response.
“If that's what you wish.”
“It is.”
A tense silence ensued as she left the room.
“Way to go, G.” Addison.
“I'm just tired of her sneaking around us, sniffing for information. The minute the zombie situation lets up, we're out of here.”
“Your friend here isn't in any shape to leave yet,” the doctor said, “and won't be for at least a week.”
A week. Was that in addition to that other week? Damn.
“Yeah. Anyway, thanks, doc, for all your help. I know you're doing a great job.”
No he's not! He's trying to take away my happy juice!
“We're just lucky her injuries weren't more severe.”
Would I have gotten more drugs then?
“I just wish she'd wake up.”
“I'm sure she will. She's young and strong.”
Damn straight. Pilates aren't for wimps.
“Well, call me if you need anything or if there's a change.”
“Will do.”
No. Seffy couldn't bear another day steeped in pain and misery. She pulled some oxygen into her lungs and forced it past her vocal chords, cringing at the effort. “Wait.”
Lani gasped. “I think she just said something! Seffy, are you awake?”
Seffy concentrated dislodging what seemed like weights from her eyelids. Cracking her eyes open a fraction, she sent a beseeching look to the doctor. “More drugs.” Her voice came out as a ragged whisper, but she knew by his expression he got the message.
Gareth's fingers tightened around her own, keeping her lucid for the moment. The exertion was costing her, wanting to drag her back down to nothingness. The doctor performed a quick vital check—blinding light to forced-open eyes, and additional poking and prodding that made her want to swear. And then she heard the magic words.
“Since she's regained consciousness, we can increase the morphine drip.”
Seffy let out a satisfied sigh. Within moments the edge of her pain was blunted by the clear liquid spreading through her veins. “Thanks,” she whispered.
“Just concentrate on getting better, young lady.”
She would've rolled her eyes if it didn't hurt. A few minutes later, Seffy turned her attention toward Gareth. “Hey.”
His brown eyes were wet and his smile crooked. “Hey, yourself. Here you are again.”
“I know, right?”
He shook his head.
“Really, Sef, these desperate attempts to get attention are pathetic.”
Seffy turned her head just enough to see Addison. Ouchy, but now at least bearable. “Very funny.”
Addison smirked. “Seriously, girl. We're gonna have to keep you under wraps. You know how I hate hospitals.”
“I'll try to remember that.”
“Ignore her,” Lani said, leaning close. “She's just jealous you're getting all the opiates.”
“Are you up to answering a few questions?” Gareth.
“'Few' being the operative word.” Her eyes felt heavy again.
“What do you remember?”
Seffy grimaced, not interested in reliving the event. “I left the room where you were, ran into Fenn, and he told me to get to my room quick, so I did.” She paused, feeling sleepy. “Or I tried. But it was locked. Before I could get help, a guy came at me with a gun and started firing. I don't think he was a very good shot.” She closed her eyes.
“So you ran?”
“Uh huh. Found the basement door, found that trap door in the floor. It was deeper than I thought.”
“Do you remember anything about being down there?”
She shook her head.
“Thank God.” He took a deep breath. “The guy who was after you wanted us all dead. He and some others in the compound were afraid we'd infect them so they decided to go all vigilante.”
“So, it was an inside job?”
“Yep. And we thought the zombies were all we had to worry about.”
“You dodged the bullet again, Sef,” Addison said. “This time, literally.”
“If I was a kitty how many lives would I have leff?” Seffy noticed her words starting to slur.
“Five, tops,” Lani said after a moment. “So don't push it anymore.”
“And I'm not even the curious type.” She smiled as her muscles relaxed even more. “I love morphine,” she whispered. “It makes me happy.”
Addison snorted. “Let's let the druggy get some sleep. It's getting late anyway.”
Seffy fought against the deepening pull of sleep and grasped Gareth's hand, longing to somehow keep him near. “Stay,” was all she could manage. Maybe it was the meds that made her so bold.
“You heard her,” he said in a low voice to the girls. “I'll stay with her until she falls asleep.”
“Okay, let's go, Addy.”
Seffy felt her heart rate slow. Any second she would be unconscious again. Still, he wasn't close enough. “Help me scoot over,” she said, her voice weak. “Lie next to me...please.”
She couldn't see Gareth's reaction, but he was soon easing her over in the bed. Seffy hardly felt a thing. Then he was beside her, sliding his arm under her head. She turned toward him and nestled into the hollow of his shoulder. Gripping a handful of the front of his T-shirt for an anchor, she closed her eyes. Now this was better than any old morphine.
***
Seffy opened her eyes little by little and realized she was still in Gareth's arms. She flexed her leg muscles and noticed the pain was there, but duller now. A low light from above the bed made a little glowing oasis in the otherwise dark room. Pulling back a bit, she watched Gareth sleep. His lashes fanned over cheeks that had grown leaner since the blast. It'd been a rough ride...for all of them.
And she'd had to go and make it rougher.
Seffy wished she really knew what Gareth thought of her post-confession. He'd stayed with her without hesitation when she'd asked. Maybe he forgave her. Or maybe he was just too polite to refuse.
He'd always been there for her over the years. It was possible she'd taken him for granted, but she didn't think so. She'd always tried to live up to his expectations, unspoken though they were. Gareth had always treated her a bit differently than Addison or Lani, making her feel special. One day she hoped he'd take that next step.
He'd saved her after all.
Seffy reached up and lightly touched Gareth's chin, covered now with light stubble. She remembered how he looked before adolescence had changed him, before maturity had stolen the vulnerability from his features. What had never changed was his earnest protectiveness in all the time she'd known him. In fact she didn't have any memories before he was in her life. At least none worth remembering.
Seffy placed her hand over his chest. His skin was warm through the fabric of his shirt, his pulse strong. He was always there, strong and steady, and so handsome. She noticed how sleep made his face seemed closed. Secret. Except it was Gareth who knew all
her secrets, not the other way around.
His eyes fluttered open, his irises liquid in the low light. “Sef?”
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?”
She nodded.
He reached up and circled her wrist with his fingers. “What are you doing?”
She bit her lip, unsure how to respond. “I'm just thinking.”
His sleepy gaze regarded her. “What about?”
Her heart began to pound and her mouth grew dry. “About you.”
“Ah.” Gareth released her hand.
Seffy wished she had the guts to tell him how she really felt. Apparently she could reveal the dirt in her life but not her true feelings. “I'm just thankful you're in my life.”
“Well, I kinda like having you around, too.”
She smiled ruefully. “Even though I'm always getting into trouble?” God, what an understatement.
He stretched a little. “Well, if you didn't, maybe you wouldn't need rescuing. Then what good would I be?”
Did he realize what he was saying? “Gareth, I need to explain—”
His gaze darkened. “Sef, I think I know what you're going to say.” He shook his head. “Let's just forget about it. All of it. It's not you...I know that.”
Frustration clawed at her. “What if this is me? What if I've spent so much time being someone else I don't know who I am anymore?”
His expression became shuttered as if he wasn't pleased with her words. “What are you trying to say?”
Seffy studied his face wondering why he sounded defensive—not quite the reaction she expected. He began to ease away from her but she clutched at his shirt. “Gareth, wait. What did I say wrong?”
His eyes turned cool. “It's just that I should go. You need your rest.”
She was losing him, but didn't know why. Panic mushroomed. “But I need you more.”
“Sef.”
Sudden tears flooded her eyes and spilled down her cheeks without warning, catching her—and Gareth—by surprise. “Please, don't go.”
He stared down at her hand twisted in the fabric of his shirt for a long moment.
Terrified, Seffy could only cry harder, wondering if this was the moment she'd long feared, where all hope was lost forever. But it couldn't be. It just couldn't. Not now.
When Gareth finally looked up, she went cold at what she saw there. Oh, no.
“Seffy, please let go of me.”
Despite hearing the quiet desperation in his voice, her own desperation was harder to deny. “Did I ever have a chance with you? Even before what I told you?” She tasted salt on her lips as the tears continued unabated.
“Please, don't do this,” he said, turning his head away. “You aren't well.”
“Answer me, Gareth! Was there ever a time? Ever a chance.”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “No.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me that!”
But he refused to meet her gaze. Instead, he peeled her hand from his shirt and climbed from the bed.
Seffy swiped the moisture from her face, wishing he would just look at her. “I tried so hard, Gareth. For you. Everything was for you.”
His expression was implacable as he finally turned to face her. “Trust me, Sef, I know the feeling. And I know it wasn't enough.”
What?
He smoothed out the front of his shirt. “Look, it's almost morning. I better go back to my room.”
Seffy was unable to believe the difference from a few short minutes ago, unable to believe she'd reached the end of the rope after all. She shook her head as hot tears dripped down her cheeks. “Please.”
He regarded her for a moment, then straightened, his expression blank. “I'll come and see you after breakfast, okay?”
She stared at him, knowing there was nothing she could say would change his mind. Her lip trembled as she watched him turn and leave the room. When she was alone, Seffy clenched her fists, feeling a cataclysm had shaken her world with more strength than whatever had brought her here in the first place.
***
“Time to wake up, young lady.”
Seffy cracked open her swollen eyes at the brisk voice and saw Olga preparing the blood pressure cuff.
“What time is it?” she asked, her voice froggy.
“Seven in the morning.”
She threw her arm over her eyes to block out the light, sorry she'd been awakened. She'd spent the last hours castigating herself over the train wreck that was her life, and bone-deep exhaustion had settled in for a long stay.
“I'm going to need that arm, dear. I can't use the one with the I.V. in it.”
Seffy held out the arm the nurse wanted, not caring either way. What did it matter when Gareth had finally given up on her for good? Was it because she cried? Or because he read the affection in her eyes? Why reject her now?
Why would her statement saying she wanted to be someone else disturb him so? Wasn't it true for all of them? The cuff tightened on her arm, making her groan.
“How are you feeling this morning?”
“Crappy.”
“Funny, I should think you'd be in a better mood after what I saw last night.”
She peered up at Olga, for the first time really acknowledging the nurse. “What exactly did you see?”
“You and that young man.”
Her face burned. “Oh, great. Does everyone have to spy around here?”
“I wasn't spying,” she said. “I came to check your vitals, that's all.”
“But you didn't check my vitals.”
“Ah, well, I didn't want to interrupt, you see.”
“So what of it?” Seffy knew she sounded rude, but she couldn't be expected to think logically this early in the morning after the night she'd endured.
Olga's lips thinned at her tone. “Just that I got a chance to meet him earlier and he seems like a fine young man. So polite unlike most men these days.”
These days. Ha.
“You better hold on to him. He seems like a keeper.”
“Hmph,” Seffy said under her breath.
“Pardon me?”
Seffy shook her head. “Nothing.”
Olga offered a kind, bewildered smile, gathered her things and left.
Gareth was a keeper all right. Too bad he didn't want to be kept.
Chapter Twenty-four
“Sef, wake up. You're drooling.”
Seffy opened her eyes with reluctance and identified Addison and Lani leaning over her.
“Maybe it's foam.”
“Ew, are you serious?” Lani leaned forward and stared at her mouth. “She's rabid?”
Seffy batted them away, then groaned at the pain. She rubbed her face and took in her two friends sitting on the edge of her bed, fresh-scrubbed and shiny-eyed. What a perfect foil for her Bill the Cat appearance. “What are you doing here?”
“Visiting the infirm,” Addison said in a chipper voice. “Plus we're supposed to make sure you eat your breakfast and get you up and walking.”
“Who told you that?”
“Olga.” Addy shook her head. “She seemed a little stiff upper lip today. Did you do something to offend her?”
“Probably,” Seffy said, weariness pulling at her.
“She's the sweetest lady, Sef,” Lani said. “How low could you go?”
“Apparently pretty low.” Seffy sighed, deciding to set aside her Gareth-angst for the time being. She'd been over and over what had occurred and still couldn't make any sense of his behavior. Or maybe she didn't want to admit she'd gone a bridge too far. “What's for breakfast? I'm starved.”
Lani rolled the bed table over, which contained a covered plate. “Beef consommé and green gelatin. Yum yum.”
Seffy's shoulders slumped. “That can't be it.”
“Just what sluggish digestion caused by morphine needs to help regulation.”
“Lani, I did not need to know that.” Seffy picked up the little plastic tub of gelatin and made a face. How m
any days would she have to endure this? If Olga wasn't miffed at her would breakfast have been a ham and cheese omelet?
“Plus, what's wrong with Gareth? He's all out of sorts. Did you make him mad, too?”
She looked at Addison, shaking her head. “You know, I'd like it explained how a weak, broken, kittenish female like me could possibly offend two grown adults.”
Addy exchanged looks with Lani. “I don't know but he's pretty down in the dumps.”
“He said he would come see me after breakfast.”
“Don't count on it.”
Seffy narrowed her eyes, sure the redhead was some how relishing the notion. She turned her attention back to her non-breakfast and made the best of the situation.
“I've been thinking,” Addison said, tapping her chin. “Remember when you thought you were dying—?”
“Which time?” Seffy said without interest.
“When you went outside the safe house by yourself to navelgaze.”
“Addy,” Lani scolded, “that was a very traumatic time. For all of us.”
“Anyway,” the redhead said, “you mentioned you had something to tell us about Verity?”
“Oh, yeah,” Lani said. “I forgot about that.”
Seffy furrowed her brow, not exactly eager to revisit that horrible day. “I don't want to talk about it right now.”
Addy's brows inched up. “Seriously, if it's something important, you should spill. The zombies won't last forever and then we'll get home and there will be weirdness. You don't want weirdness, do you?”
Seffy snorted. “Have you looked around lately?” At Addison's insistent gaze, she sighed. “It's just that I don't think she's trustworthy. I think she has an agenda.”
“What do you mean?” Lani said, her tone quizzical.
“How did she enter our lives?” Seffy said.
“Gareth met her at the Viper Room.”
“Exactly. And doesn't that tell you anything?”
“Sef, it just sounds like you're jealous, if you're honest. That's why you never liked her."
“Like I said,” Seffy said mulishly, “I don't want to talk about it.”
“Hey, you brought it up,” Addy said, smirking. "Originally.”
Lani jumped up and pushed the table out of the way. “Okay, enough about that. Let's get you up and about.”
“You do know I hurt my knee and my ankle, right? And my ribs are fractured.”