by Jayne Blue
Bear and E.Z. exchanged a look. “You sure it was Higgins?” E.Z. asked.
“She read his cut. She saw his face. He killed Sean. This can’t stand. Is he in custody now?”
E.Z. slammed his fist on the top of Bear’s desk. “Enough. You fucking took off on Shep and Axle. You wanna answer for that?”
“I just did,” I said, trying to keep my voice even. “The shooter from Woody’s made it obvious someone had been to Beth’s. So I went to make sure she was okay. I handled my business same as either of you would. If it was Mama, you wouldn’t have waited for permission either.”
“I don’t need permission,” Bear grumbled. “You answer to me, Deacon. You could have been walking into an ambush. Use your head.”
“I can’t tell you I’m sorry, Bear. It’s Beth we’re talking about.”
“Yeah?” E.Z. turned to me. “And she’s been out of your loop for a decade, Deacon. How do you know who she associates with these days?”
I laughed. “You think she and Milo cooked the whole thing up? Give me a break. She’s clean, E.Z. She always has been. It’s the people around her who keep dragging her down.”
“Enough,” Bear said. “Shit is too stirred up to be spending time on squabbling. For now, you need to get her out of town. Just to be safe.”
“She won’t go,” I said. “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“Right,” E.Z. said. “Why should she go if she’s got protection on the other side?”
I don’t remember moving, but before I knew it, I was in E.Z.’s face. “And that’s twice you’ve nearly accused her of something she’s not. I’m telling you, she is no threat to any of us. It’s the other way around. Now I’ve paid my dues to earn her some protection. I expect the club to honor it.”
Bear got between us. In his mid-fifties, he could still throw down with any one of us twenty years younger. He pushed E.Z. and me apart.
“And I said, enough. Deacon, I’m sorry, man. I don’t have the manpower to spare to sit on Beth’s house in Crystal Falls. We’ve sent half the wives to the safehouse in Abilene. Josie went kicking and screaming, but she went. She’s up at the lakehouse in Corpus Christi. She took Maya and the baby. Zig’s sent Gina and his kids home to her family. The DiSalvos can look after her for now. Everyone else is handling business here.”
“She’s a target!” I said. “And she’s mine.”
Bear gave me a grim nod. I knew my timing couldn’t be worse. I also knew I should have never gone to see her in the first place. The whole thing had been driven by my own selfish need to see her after losing Sean. She could have heard the news about his murder from someone ... anyone else. This was my fault and we both knew it. Bear at least had the decency to keep from saying it.
“And I’ll reach out to some contacts,” he said. “See if I can send someone out there to sit on her place. Somebody off book. In the meantime, you don’t set foot in Crystal Falls again. You don’t go anywhere solo again, you hear me?”
“I can’t promise you that. If she’s in trouble ... if I catch an inkling that she even could be …”
Bear put a hand up and nodded. “Not alone, Deacon. I can’t afford any more of my crew going rogue.”
“And this has to be answered,” I said. “Where’s Milo now?”
“You’d know that if you hadn’t gone AWOL, now, wouldn’t you?” E.Z. said.
The front door of the clubhouse opened. It would be the rest of the crew filing in to report. I should have been one of them. Bear had told me to stick with Shep. He’d trusted me to watch his son’s back. I knew I’d have a reckoning with him too, but I still couldn’t feel sorry. Because I was right. When Mama Bear was in trouble, Bear would move heaven and earth to get to her. And I’d left Shep with Maddox and Axle. He wasn’t alone.
“They arrested Milo last night but he made bail,” Bear said. “Early this morning.”
My tone was cold as ice. “Then I guess we know what needs to be done.”
“You need to get with Shep,” he said. “He picked up the slack for you last night.”
Voices rose in the outer room. One of them was Shep’s. “You’ll get eyes on Beth’s place?” I asked under my breath so the others couldn’t hear.
“He said he would, now, didn’t he?” E.Z. rose. He met me nose to nose, puffing his chest out. Anger roiled through me, but I kept it in check.
I gave Bear a nod. The shit between E.Z. and me would have to wait. I left the office and headed out to the main bar. Chase and Domino were there, looking like hell. They both had wives now. The stakes were even higher. For the first time, I knew how they felt. These men mattered to me, but we all knew what we signed up for. If any of this touched the women we loved … I couldn’t even complete the thought.
“Shep with you?” I asked.
Chase and Domino exchanged a glance. It seemed I was nobody’s favorite person today. I couldn’t blame them. I hadn’t been honest. I kept Beth a secret, thinking it would be safer for her. It hadn’t mattered in the end anyway.
“Haven’t seen him roll in yet,” Chase said, grabbing a beer from behind the bar.
“I’m heading over to the shop,” I said. “You tell him I’m out there if he comes in.”
Chase tipped the neck of his bottle toward me then turned back to Dom. I left the clubhouse and headed across the yard to the body shop. I only made it halfway before a shadow dropped in front of me and an arm took me across the back.
I stumbled forward and rounded, fists raised. Shep’s face was bright red with anger. Axle stood beside him, looming like a mountain.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Shep asked. He had a fresh cut above his eye.
I looked from Axle to Shep. My protective instincts still burned. I’d kept Beth a secret for so long, I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell even them.
“I had something personal to take care of,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t satisfy either of them. It wouldn’t have satisfied me if the tables were turned.
“Personal?” Axle said. “You don’t get to have a personal life, Deacon. None of us do. Not now.”
“Oh yeah? You gonna stand there and tell me if you thought Maya needed you, you wouldn’t turn your back on every one of us for her?”
It was a low blow, but it mattered. Axle’s eyes flashed. “I know how to balance both,” he said. “And Maya’s part of this club now. She knows the drill. Now you wanna tell me what the hell’s going on with you?”
Both Shep and Axle looked at me with such vitriol, it turned my blood cold. “Are you accusing me of something?”
Axle’s eyes flickered, but he stayed stone still. Shep got in my face. “I just think it’s damn convenient that every time shit’s about to go down lately, you disappear.”
He couldn’t have knocked the wind out of me any harder if he’d punched me. He might as well have.
“What the hell is going on with you two?” I asked. “Ever since Bo got back, you two and Maddox have been acting weird. And you’re accusing me of something?”
“We are at fucking war,” Shep said. “You have any idea what that means?”
I shoved him back. “Yeah. I do. Are you questioning my loyalty? Because you better back the fuck off. You have no idea what I’ve done for this club. You have no idea what I’ve sacrificed. I earned my way in, Shep.”
It was a low blow and I didn’t truly mean it. Shep was Bear’s son. Bear could have played favorites, but he didn’t. If anything, he was harder on Shep than any of the rest of us. But something snapped inside of me. My worry for Beth spilled over and I let it run my mouth. I instantly regretted it. When Shep cocked his fist, I didn’t counter. I figured I had this coming and the truth was, I knew it would hurt and feel good all at the same time.
Shep’s blow caught me square in the jaw. I staggered sideways, spitting blood. Then it was on. I lunged for him, catching him around the waist.
“Son of a bitch!” he yelled. I got my own punch off, making contact with his chin. Axle stood
back. From the corner of my eye, I saw his lopsided smile.
Shep pushed me back. We ended up against the wall of the body shop. “You need to back the fuck off, man,” I said. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Yeah? Then you need to clue me in.”
When Shep threw another punch, I ducked. I dove at his midsection, knocking him off his feet. He landed a few more blows. So did I. We tumbled through the yard.
The crack of a shotgun blast pierced through my head. I staggered to my feet.
“Break it up!” Bear yelled, holding the shotgun toward the sky. “Son of a bitch. Sort your shit. We don’t have time for this.”
Axle stood beside him. “Well, Bear. I think they are sorting their shit.”
Shep and I stood, heaving for air. Blood dripped from his nose. I had a cut in the corner of my mouth.
“You done?” Bear asked.
I looked at Shep. He looked at me. “Yeah,” he answered. He held out a hand to me. I glowered at him, but took it.
“Good,” Bear said. “Because I just got a call from A.J. Moss. He wants a truce. He’s offering Milo Higgins for it. Get inside. We need to talk.”
Chapter 20
Beth
Being without Danny hurt. It physically hurt. I was afraid to turn on the news for fear I’d see some other awful salvo in the club war between the Hawks and the Saints. He told me to call him if I needed anything. At least a hundred times over the next few days I hovered my finger over his number on my phone screen. I just wanted to hear his voice. I just wanted to know he was all right. I never called. My head told me a clean break was the best for both of us. But my heart told me something else.
Ed Albright checked himself out of rehab after ten days. He walked into the office looking haggard and thin. Darlene nearly fell out of her chair. She didn’t say a word to him, she just slowly rose from behind her desk, grabbed her purse and walked out the back door.
“Oh, Ed,” I said. He plopped into his oversized leather office chair and stared out the window.
“I couldn’t do it,” he said. “Not their way. It never works, Beth. I’m better off on my own.”
He’d said all of this before. I wasn’t his mother. I wasn’t even his sister. All I could do was slide into the chair across from him and listen.
“Will you talk to Darlene for me?” he asked, eyes pleading.
I was tired. Just ... so tired. I couldn’t change Danny. I couldn’t change Ed. I could only change myself. “No, I don’t think I can do that, Ed. You know I love you. Both of you. But if you can’t dry out and stay that way, you finally really will lose everything.”
His eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. I realized he probably saw something similar when he looked at me. “So let’s talk about something else,” he said. “I’ve heard you had some adventures of your own.”
“You heard what?”
Ed’s smile warmed my heart. It’s not one I saw very often these days. As much as I wanted to throttle the man for getting in his own way all the time, it was hard not to love him. He’d been there for me and took a chance on me when no one else would. I’d come to him with nothing, not even a background or a single reference. He said he saw something in me and gave me a job when I couldn’t even produce a driver’s license yet.
“Dark Saints,” he said. “You’re being careful, I hope.”
“Of course.”
Ed nodded. “So is that biker the past you ran from? Hell, Beth, that makes you more like my sister than anything.”
I smiled. “He’s part of my past, yes. But he’s not why I ran. And it’s complicated.”
“Good.” He rubbed his hands together. “It’s refreshing to have someone else make terrible life choices besides just me.”
“Very funny. And my life is just fine.” I meant it with a healthy dose of sarcasm, but the second my words landed, Ed’s eyes grew heavy again.
“Oh, Beth. I’m sorry. I know I’m probably going to spend the rest of my life, such as it is, saying that to people. I know I’ve mucked things up pretty good. How long before the work dries up?”
I started to sugarcoat it. I rambled off a bunch of clients and dates and facts that really didn’t answer the least of his questions. Ed knew it. He regarded me with those sad, keen eyes and settled back in his chair.
“How long, Beth?” he asked again.
I took a breath. “You’re finished, Ed. There’s nobody left. Your three biggest cases have already been reassigned. If they settle, I’ll probably be able to get reimbursed for costs, but you won’t earn a fee. You’ve got enough in savings for you to live off for a good long while. Not enough to cover payroll or your taxes for much more than a month.”
“So you’re out of a job. Dammit, Beth. I’m sorry. I know it’s not adequate, but I am.”
“I’ll be all right,” I said, though it rang hollow to both of us. Sure, I could probably find freelance paralegal work, but the chances of me getting something with full benefits anytime soon were slim. At least, there’d be nothing for me in Crystal Falls. My life as Beth Kennedy was over. It would be easy to blame Ed for that. Sure, he bore a large part of the blame, but this would have happened sooner or later. Maybe it didn’t matter anymore.
“Can you go back?” he asked. Ed’s question stunned me. One of his greatest strengths was reading people. He was downright eerie when it came to predicting how juries would behave. Now he’d trained his particular superpower straight at me.
“Go back to what?”
“I mean, are you done running? Now that your past has finally caught up with you?”
“I’ll land,” I said. “I always manage to. I’m honestly more worried about you and Darlene. I don’t think she’s going to stick by you through this one.”
Ed nodded. “I already told her not to. She came to visit me at the rehab place three days ago. I bought her a one-way plane ticket to St. Petersburg, Florida. Our cousin Joy has been bugging her to move out there for two years. You know that.”
Twin emotions flipped my heart: elation and sadness. Darlene deserved to live for herself. But I’d miss her. She’d been the closest thing I had to a mother pretty much my whole life.
“Maybe I should buy a ticket for you too?” he said. “Florida’s as good a place to start over as any, isn’t it?”
I laughed. “What, and leave all of this?”
Ed rose from his chair. He came around the desk and put a fatherly hand on my shoulder. I knew this was so hard for him. Just like Darlene, I couldn’t stay mad at him. “It’s time for you to go home, Beth. Wherever that is. And if it’s nowhere, build a new one. I’ll help you as much as I can. I do still have a few favors I haven’t called in yet. You’re good at what you do. Hell, you’re better than me. I’ve got a little money saved up. I want you to have it. You’ve earned it.”
I covered his hand with mine. “Ed, I can’t take anything more from you.”
“You haven’t taken enough. It’s been the other way around. You think I don’t know how much you’ve covered my ass over the years? This ship would have sunk a long time ago if it weren’t for you. Anything I can give you, you’ve earned. I won’t take no for an answer.”
Ed stepped back around the desk and pulled out his checkbook. I couldn’t breathe. He tore off a check, folded it, and handed it to me.
“Start over, Beth,” he said. “Someplace better. Now go on home. I plan on wallowing by myself for a little while.”
“Ed …”
“Don’t!” He waved a hand. “I’m not gonna hit the bottle. Darlene found it all and tossed it anyway. I just need to think and I need to be alone. I’ll check in with you in a couple of days. I promise.”
I rose and went around the desk. I kissed Ed Albright on the forehead then did as he asked me to. I left him alone. It wasn’t until I got behind the wheel of my car before I dared unfold the check he gave me. My heart dropped when I read the amount. He’d just given me fif
ty thousand dollars.
It was enough to start over somewhere else. Sean was dead. He couldn’t hurt me anymore. I could be Beth Wade again if I wanted. I could be Beth Kennedy.
I found myself driving around Crystal Falls. It was beautiful here. Quiet. Clean. The people of this town had embraced me. Not right away, it took time. I’d found a niche here. Now that niche was slowly closing. Ed was done. This time was different. It was different for Darlene too. She’d done all she could for her brother. It was time for her to build a life of her own. And me? It had been so long since I’d even asked myself what I wanted.
I found myself driving down the quiet little street I’d called home for nearly ten years. I pulled up to the curb across from my house and put the car in park. It was mine and yet, it had always felt transient.
When I closed my eyes, I could only see Danny. My body ached for the feel of his arms around me. He was the closest thing to home I had. But could I accept him for the man he was today? This war with the Hawks would end one way or the other. There might even be peace for a while. Then what? I’d spent the first twenty-one years of my life in Port Azrael. I knew what the Saints were. Could I let myself become a part of that life for Danny?
My phone vibrated in my purse. The tone was odd. Not a call or a text. I slid it out. A big, red warning sign flashed on the home screen. It was the app Paul Sauter had installed along with the security system. It meant something had tripped the alarm.
My heart popped into my throat. Mid-afternoon, I had the curtains drawn in the front room. I looked up and down the street. There were no cars or motorcycles out here that shouldn’t be. Was it a mistake?
I swiped open the app. Paul had it hooked up to three cameras inside the house. The kitchen, my bedroom, and the living room. I flipped the view from one camera to the next. The house was empty. I went back to each room, holding my breath. On the third pass, I saw it. At least, I thought I did. Just a grainy shadow, but it looked like something moved from the hallway into the master bedroom.