by Luke Young
The man didn’t even bother to look at her. “Sorry, lady, but I’m late.”
It had been a few weeks since Jillian had seen the online photo of her date, and although the man seemed somewhat familiar, she could not be sure, but she hoped that wasn’t her guy.
Making her way to the bar of the restaurant, she scanned the room and was relieved not to find the guy who drove the Mercedes waiting for her there. Her date was to meet her at the bar at seven. Arriving a little early for a nerve-calming cocktail, she was on her second, fifteen minutes later, when a man approached the bar. He spotted Jillian, walked to her, and introduced himself as Matt. She instantly recognized him as the guy who had cut her off minutes ago, but she chose not to mention it—at least initially. They agreed to have a drink at the bar, since there was a thirty-minute wait for a table.
Matt ordered a third drink for her and one for himself. Since Jillian had not eaten anything in about seven hours, she was starting to really feel the effects of the alcohol. He was a self-centered pinhead who gave himself away not only with his rude driving but by the way he complained about his drink, about the restaurant, about the wait, and about pretty much everything else in the place.
While still sitting at the bar, nursing her third drink, Jillian looked down and noticed the outline of a familiar object in the pocket of Matt’s trousers. She looked again, to be sure, but with the way he was sitting and the way his pants were pulled tight, she could clearly see the unmistakable ring of a condom showing right through the thin fabric. Holding back a smile, she took a quick, tiny sip of her drink and decided to have some fun.
She gave him a serious look. “You know, you cut me off on the way into the parking garage. I was the one who spoke to you in the parking lot.”
“Oh, sorry about that.” Glancing at her face, he put on vaguely apologetic smile. “It’s been a long day, and I thought I was late so, again, really sorry about that.”
She took a sip of her drink and ran her hand along the side of the glass. “But I saw you out there about twenty minutes before you made it in here.”
“I had to pick something up in the mall.”
“What?” Jillian scoffed.
He looked at her like she was a little crazy. “I, um, just was checking on some contact lenses I ordered.”
After taking another sip, she looked him directly in the eye and said in a harsh tone, “I’m going to guess that there were no contact lenses.”
He grinned at her as if she might be kidding. When her facial expression didn’t change, he frowned. “What are you trying to say?”
“Matt, I’m thinking that maybe… you went to the drugstore.” She gave him an evil grin.
He chuckled nervously.
Tilting her head back, she looked down her nose at him. “Did you possibly buy some condoms, because you assumed that you might be getting really lucky tonight?”
He gave her an odd look. “Did you follow me? Are you insane?”
She shook her head no and simply pointed to his pocket.
He looked down at his pocket, noticed the obvious ring, and gave her a smug smile. “I knew I should have kept them in the box. Would it make any difference if I told you they’re Magnums?”
She gave him a sickened look. “Not a bit.”
“Look, Jillian, I was running late, and I was going to bring them to the car but didn’t want to be any later meeting you than I already was.”
“That’s thoughtful of you, Matthew, but I think I’m just going to go.” Then she got up and walked away, a little woozy from the cocktails.
Jillian left the restaurant and walked into the mall courtyard area. She bought a pretzel and a Coke hoping to sober up enough to make the three-block drive home. Spotting Brian sitting on a bench outside the movie theater, she walked up to him.
The instant he saw her, he knew she had been drinking. She fell a little as she tried to slip onto the bench next to him.
“What kind of guy arrives late for a date and has condoms showing in his pocket?”
“A giant asshole,” Brian said, playing along.
“Right. And what kind of giant asshole then tries to diffuse the situation by telling you the condoms are Magnums?”
“A giant asshole with a giant penis.”
She smiled. “Right again.”
“I take it there won’t be a second date.”
After rolling her eyes at him, she grinned. “You’ve got that right. So, what are you doing here?”
“Rob’s meeting me. We’re seeing a movie. Do you want to join us?”
“No, I think I’ll just go home and boil up those lobsters.”
Brian’s phone rang. He checked the display and answered. “Hey Rob…. No problem…. Sure, I understand…. Okay.”
After hanging up, he grinned at Jillian. “Evidently you aren’t the only one with relationship trouble tonight. Laura found out about our trip last night to the strip club, and she’s not happy.”
“He took you to a strip club last night?” She shook her head with a smile.
After nodding, he looked her in the eye. “Why don’t you come to the movie with me? I already bought two tickets, and you seem like you might be either too drunk or too upset or too both of those conditions… to drive home.”
“I think I will. I haven’t been to the movies drunk since I was seventeen.”
“Let’s get you some dinner first. We’ve got, like, twenty minutes.”
“What are we seeing?”
“Battle: Los Angeles. Rob wanted to see it. It’s a sci-fi action thing.” Brian gave her an apologetic look.
“I’ve got a better idea. For a science fiction movie…” She gave him a distasteful look. “…I’m going to actually need more to drink. Let’s sneak in something. It’ll be like high school.”
Jillian waited on one side of the street as Brian dodged traffic to cross to the liquor store about a block away. When he returned, she placed the bottle of rum in her purse, and they went into the theater.
26
They took their seats in the nearly-empty, large theater just as the previews began. Jillian ran to the bathroom but passed Brian the bottle of rum first. He poured about four-and-a-half shots’ worth of the rum into his Coke and poured the rest, which amounted to about half a shot, into hers. He mixed them up a little with the straws. Wanting to catch up with her at least a little, he sucked down about a quarter of his giant, super-strong rum and Coke while she was away.
Jillian returned and sat next to him. An older couple was many rows behind them in the last row, and four rows ahead of them sat two people. They sat in the very center of the theater. Brian set the popcorn bucket on his lap, and she held her drink. Slumping in her seat, a little woozy, she sipped from her Coke and said softly,” Did you already put it in?”
“Yeah,” he whispered.
“It tastes like nothing’s in here.”
He glanced away shyly. “It’s, um, a really big cup.”
Nodding in agreement, she reached into the bucket for some popcorn.
As the movie began, another couple entered the theater and rushed to seats in the same row as Jillian and Brian but across the aisle. They were about nineteen, giggling, and obviously dating. Twenty minutes into the movie, Brian looked over and noticed they were making out pretty heavily.
He nudged Jillian; she took a look, smiled, and whispered in his ear, “Get a room.”
“They’re like animals.”
The caffeine in Jillian’s barely-spiked, giant soda was causing her to be both drunk and full of energy. Glancing over at Brian, she studied his profile as the light gently reflected off his face. Their bare knees were touching, and she closed her eyes to enjoy the feel of it. She reached into the popcorn bucket, grabbed a kernel, and tossed it into her mouth. She looked over at the amorous couple and saw, as a particularity bright scene filled the theater with light, that the guy was rubbing the girl’s chest through her shirt. As they continued to make out, the girl’s hand
disappeared into the guy’s lap. Jillian nudged Brian to look, and when he did, they shared a smile.
The combination of the rum and Coke, Jillian’s sexy knee rubbing his for the last hour, her perfume, the couple practically having sex just twenty feet from him, and Jillian plunging her hand every fifteen seconds into the popcorn bucket right over his sensitive groin area had led to quite an uncomfortable crowding in Brian’s shorts. Something had to be removed from that equation, or he was going to have a real problem. He decided the popcorn had to go.
He glanced at her. “You want the bucket?”
“No.”
“You sure you don’t want any more?”
She shook her head with a smile as she stared at the screen.
After placing the bucket under his seat, Brian looked at Jillian’s bare knee, which was still touching his. She seemed to be pushing her knee more and more into him as the movie progressed. He looked over at the busy couple and saw the guy now had his hand under the girl’s shirt, and the girl was busy doing something to the guy’s lap.
Several minutes went by, but the removal of the popcorn bucket had done nothing to relieve his situation. Looking over to be sure Jillian was watching the screen, he slid his hand into his lap to quickly adjust his straining erection. Whatever he did inadvertently freed his manhood from the confines of his boxers. That relieved some of the pain, but unfortunately, it also made the problem worse, since his dick was now free to expand, which it rapidly did.
Jillian, her eyes glued to the screen, reached into Brian’s lap, feeling for the popcorn. She didn’t find any, but her blindly searching hand landed on something hard—really hard.
Instead of quickly pulling her hand away, she let it remain in his lap as he sat, frozen and unable to breathe. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, and she appeared unfazed by her find, yet she still made no attempt to move her hand.
Jillian’s initial thought was that she had touched his cell phone, but as she felt the object a little more, she quickly realized what she had discovered and exactly what state she had discover it in. She decided to play it cool and attempt to not embarrass either of them by casually leaving her hand in his lap with a plan to remove it when the time seemed right. Looking down at his hands, she noticed his fingers were spread out and awkwardly gripping the top of each armrest. She fought back a smile.
Brian picked up the Coke, his hand shaking slightly, and took a long drink. He glanced at Jillian from the corner of his eye, and she still seemed unaware of her hand’s current location.
She was still feeling the effects of the alcohol as she glanced at Brian and saw the unprecedented look of distress on his face. Her hand remained still as she grinned, cupping her mouth to direct her comment only to him. Leaning over so that she was an inch from his face, she muttered, “Sorry about that. I’m going to take my hand off your penis now.”
“Oh, is it…? I didn’t, uh, notice.” He froze pretending to look at the screen. “You want some popcorn?”
“No,” she whispered, and she slowly pulled her hand away from him. When she did, he exhaled deeply and finally relaxed in his seat. After quietly trying to adjust his shorts again, he took another long sip of his Coke, holding it out for her. “Want some?”
She sampled his drink and choked a little, because it was incredibly strong—much stronger than hers. She sat smiling for a minute and knew the only logical explanation was that he had spiked his drink way more than hers. She figured he was concerned about the condition she was already in when they met outside the theater.
Jillian said accusingly, “Yours is really strong.”
Busted, Brian glanced at her. “I must not have mixed it up enough. It, uh, settled.”
Holding back a smile, she sat thinking about what a gentleman he was, how he brought her that amazing breakfast in bed the other morning and how tonight he was protecting her. The only thing she wanted was to get him out of there and do things to him that she had never done to any man. She wanted to please him like he had never been pleased.
She glanced at him and then over at the couple still making out nearby and noticed that they were really starting to produce some noise with their activities. She nudged Brian and smiled.
Looking over at the couple briefly, he gave her an uncomfortable grin. “They’re practically going at it over there.”
“Disgusting,” she said in a sexy whisper.
Seconds later, Jillian was on top of Brian, kissing him passionately. He returned her enthusiasm, and they continued to kiss and grope each other from his seat. From a few feet away they heard, “Get a room you two,” and they both stopped kissing to find the source. When they looked around, they saw the couple that had been practically screwing during the whole film, staring right at them while wearing silly grins. Both Brian and Jillian fired back evil looks.
Falling back into her seat, Jillian slumped down. “Maybe we should get out of here.”
Brian looked at her and simply nodded his head yes.
They stood and quickly walked down the row, leaving their drinks and popcorn behind. As they approached the young couple, they found them still staring, and the guy said, “Couple of animals,” as his girlfriend giggled.
Jillian glared at them both, before rushing with Brian to the lobby. Once outside the theater, Brian looked down and spotted the huge wet spot and an unnatural bulge in his shorts. While Jillian tried to remember where she’d parked, he quickly adjusted his shorts and held his hand over the telling wet spot as people walked past them on the street.
“I think it’s closer if we walk home. The car is at the top level of the garage, and I don’t think I should drive, anyway.”
Before Brian could finish nodding, she turned and took off down the sidewalk. Two people never walked faster or with such purpose. Neither said a word. When they reached Jillian’s front door, she searched her purse for the keys.
He leaned in close to her and put his hand on her neck. A shiver went through her body as he whispered, “If I don’t get inside you soon, I’m going to die.” As she turned breathlessly to respond, the door opened, and Rob appeared.
Brian quickly removed his hand from her neck, and Jillian looked at her son, alarmed.
Rob lifted his palms up. “There you are. I’ve been trying to call you.”
Brian stepped from behind Jillian, looked down at his crotch, and then moved his hand to cover the stain as he stammered, “I had my cell off. We, uh, were at the movies.”
Rob gave him an odd look.
Jillian smiled nervously. “We ran into each other. I was on a, um, horrible date, and he saved me.”
Rob said, “I didn’t hear you drive up.”
“I… we… left the car at the mall. It was such a nice night that we decided to walk,” Jillian said, a little flustered.
Rob narrowed his eyes at his mother, shook his head, then looked at Brian, and blew it off. “Laura has this girl she wants you to meet. They’re at the bar right now. Let’s go.”
Brian glanced at Jillian before settling his eyes on Rob. “I, uh…”
“Come on. She’s waiting for you. She’s really hot.”
Brian paused to think. “Okay. I just need to go to the bathroom first.”
“Hurry up. I’ll be in the car.”
Jillian and Brian entered the house as Rob went outside. She closed the door and then looked into Brian’s eyes. “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know, but it feels right,” he said partially convinced.
“I think you… you better go. He’s waiting.” Looking down at his shorts, she noticed the wet spot. “You’d better change.”
He stared at her, unable to find the words. He needed to say something, anything, but what? “I… When—”
“Shhh.” Closing her eyes, she put her hand on his chest. Gently, he placed his hand over hers and both felt the electricity of their connection for a few moments.
She opened her eyes. “He’s waiting.”
“Okay.”
Brian ran up the steps as Jillian watched, both devastated and relieved.
27
At the bar, Rob and Laura introduced Brian to Dana. She was attractive, but Brian was too preoccupied and a little too drunk to really notice or care. Closing his eyes, Brian drifted away with his mind reeling. What the fuck’s wrong with me? I can’t stop thinking about Jillian. I feel like I’m… It’s not like what I felt for Natalie, or is it? Am I just a horny douche, trying to get laid? I thought I was in falling in love with Natalie, but was that only because she can bend herself up like a pretzel, and I’m lonely? Shit, I don’t know. And now that I’ve seen what a real woman is like, it’s… it’s… Jillian is amazing, but, I’m an idiot. There’s no way she really wants to be with me. And it’s obvious that Natalie’s not ready for any kind of relationship—at least, not with me. Is Natalie just jerking me around? Or do I only think that so I’ll feel less guilty now that I’ve been chasing my best friend’s mother around like a pathetic moron? I’ve got to stop. I’ve got to fix this. Fuck, I’m so confused.
After glancing for the twentieth time at Brian’s bored expression, Dana rolled her eyes at Laura. Then she tried to make conversation with Brian, but it just wasn’t happening. A few minutes later, Dana joined another group of friends, much to Brian’s relief.
Brian looked at Rob. “I’m not in the mood for this.”
Rob glared at him. “You’re not still thinking about Natalie, are you?”
“Sort of.”