by Gallie, DL
“There’s nothing to talk about. He’s my baby’s uncle. My financé’s brother. There’s nothing else to say about him.” He eyes me. “Okay, fine. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve been having super steamy, X-rated dreams about him, but I keep telling myself it’s just pregnancy hormones. Chelle said it happens…but I…” I drift off, I don’t finish what I was going to say because it hits me like a ton of bricks; I’m in love with Branson. “No, Gage, no,” I say as jump up shaking my head. “I can’t be in love with Branson, I can’t be. He’s Kody's brother for fuck’s sake. He’s Peanut’s uncle.” Leaning my arms on Gage’s desk, I hang my head as a tear falls down my cheek. My lip quivers, I step back and fall down into the chair. How can I be falling in love with my dead fiancé’s brother? “No. No. No,” I mumble through my tears.
Gage stands up, walks around his desk, and takes the chair next to me. He rests his hand on my knee. “Kase, look at me.” Lifting my gaze to his, I stare blankly at him. “Do you remember last Christmas when I fell in love with Marlee?” I nod as the memory comes back to me and I smile. “I remember a conversation I had with you and Kody. It was the day I realized I was in love with her. Kody said, ‘There is no rhyme or reason when it comes to love. It happens when you least expect it. It happens with a person that never in your wildest dreams you think it would. No one can control love, just go with it. Everyone deserves love.’ Kase, I know, he’d tell you exactly that if he was still here.” He pauses and then adds, “He’d be happy for you and Branson.”
“But his brother?” I whine.
“Buttercup.” I glare at him because I hate when he calls me that. “I don’t know what else to say, but I knew Kody, and he’d want you to be happy. Both of you.”
“I know he would, but his brother? What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Nothing, except for your snow pea and salsa obsession. That shit is just wrong.”
“Have you tried it?” I snap.
He shakes his head at me. “Nope, no way in hell.”
“Then shut it and help me figure this Branson thing out.”
“What’s there to figure out? You like him. He likes you. Someone needs to make a move.”
“But what if he doesn’t like me? What if he just thinks of me as his sort of sister-in-law? And he’s just being nice ‘cause I’m kinda his family!”
“Trust me, he doesn’t,” he matter-of-factly replies. “He like you just as much, if not more.”
“How do you know what?”
“I have eyes. You two are gaga for each other but neither is willing to make a move because of Kody. But Kody isn’t here, and I know for a fact, he would want you both to be happy. Sure, it’s a little unconventional but love is love.”
“When did you become so…so girly?”
“When I crashed into a black-haired, blue-eyed angel who took my breath away.”
“Fuck, you make me sick. Speaking of Marlee, how’s she doing?”
“She’s great. We are great. Everything is great.”
“That’s great,” I cheekily say, but deep down it hurts that he’s so great. So happy and in love, and I’m over here pregnant, grieving and possibly in love with someone who I shouldn’t be. Fuck my life, I think to myself.
“I’ve got to head to a meeting, but Marlee will be by later today to work on the drive again. Maybe talk to her. Get a woman’s perspective.”
“Yeah, maybe. I’ll think about it. Speaking of the drive, can we count on you to be Santa again?”
“Yes,” he groans, but deep down, I know he loved playing Santa last year.
“From what I heard, you loooooved playing Santa last year.” His eyes snap to mine and his cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. “No worries, naughty Nick, your secret is safe with me…for now.” Standing up, I exit Gage’s office. Spinning back, I poke my head inside. “Thanks Gage. I appreciate the pep talk.”
“Anytime, Buttercup, anytime.”
Sticking my tongue at him, I make my way back to my office, thinking about what Gage and I just discussed.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a blur, I have no idea what I did. And I have no idea what Marlee and I finalized for the drive. When quitting time rolls around, I’m ever so thankful because I’m shattered.
The drive home took forever due to an accident on the freeway, and as I’m walking up the stairs, my mind once again drifts to Branson and my ever-growing feelings. Does he feel the same way about me too? Or is this just horny pregnancy hormones messing with my head?
When I open my front door, I have my answer.
Chapter Nine
Stepping inside, I pause midstep. Before me is a gorgeous romantic dinner. Branson is standing by the table, and I can see in his eyes that he’s wondering if it’s too much, “Branson, it’s…”
“It’s too much, I know. But I wanted to do something special for you.”
“Branson, thank you, it’s perfect,” I say, as I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat calms my erratically beating one. I sigh and take a deep breath. My senses are assaulted with dinner and Branson. I find myself smiling, and when he runs his hands innocently up my back, it sends shock waves directly between my thighs…and for once, I don’t think it is pregnancy hormones, it’s all Branson. Gage’s words from earlier come flooding back to me.
Lifting my head, I look up at him and wonder if he feels the same way about me too. Could Gage be right? Does he have the same feelings as me? We stare at each other for a few moments before he pulls away. “Let’s eat.”
“Yep,” I reply, letting the ‘p’ pop. Walking over to the table, I dejectedly take a seat and watch Branson dish up. As I watch him scoop pasta and sauce onto our plates, I begin to think he doesn’t seem to like me in the way I like him; well I think I like him…damn Gage and his advice. Then it hits me—I do like him—and the idea he doesn’t like me, the way I like him, sends a knife straight through my heart.
Pushing my chair back from the table, I race down the hall. “B-Be right back,” I stutter as the first tear falls, closing the door to my bedroom, I slide down the door, rest my head on the wood, and silently cry. Sniffing in the most unladylike way, I begin to laugh—damn hormones. Here I am, crying over my dead fiancé’s brother not liking me one minute, and the next, I’m laughing because I like my dead fiancé’s brother.
A knock on the door startles me. “You okay, Kase?”
“Yeah, just a pregnancy hormone moment. Give me a sec and I’ll be out.”
“Okay,” he says through the door, his voice laced with worry and concern.
Standing up, I walk into the en suite and splash water on my face. Taking a deep breath, I head back out to face Branson. He’s sitting at the table with his back to me. My heart flutters when I see him, he must sense my presence because he turns his head toward me. When he smiles, my heart does a somersault in my chest and I find myself grinning back at him.
“Sorry about that,” I say, as I walk over to the table and take a seat next to him, resting my hands on the table.
He takes my hand in his and squeezes. “No apologies necessary, but are you sure you’re okay?”
Nodding my head, I smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired but fine.”
“Well, after dinner, you rest on the couch and I’ll clean up.”
Shaking my head, no, I point my finger at him. “Uhh, uh, mister. You cooked therefore I clean. House rules.”
“When have I ever listened to house rules? Or rules for that matter?”
Staring at him, I try and hide back my smirk. “Well, umm…”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought too. After dinner, you rest. I clean.”
“You going all caveman on me, Mr. Holmes?”
“If that’s what it takes for you to rest up, then yes.”
We stare at one another. It’s intense but at the same time calming. “Fine, but your punishment for cleaning up will be to watch whatever I want on N
etflix.”
“Deal.” He outstretches his hand for me to shake and agree on the plan. Placing my hand in his, an electrical current zaps through me; from the look on his face, he feels it too. We stare at each other for a few more seconds before he says, “Let’s eat.”
We pick up our forks and dig into the pasta. And like always, we fall into easy conversation with a few laughs, just like it’s natural. My eyes keep drifting over to him and I swear on a few occasions, I catch him staring at me too…maybe Gage is right and he does feel something for me as well…or it’s wishful thinking on my behalf. But as with everything to do with us, there’s Kody—he’s the invisible giant elephant in the room.
Wiping my mouth on my napkin, I sit back and rest my hands on my belly, “Dude, that was amazing.”
“It was my pleasure.” He takes a sip of his wine and stares at me. “I like seeing you smile like that.”
“I like smiling this this,” I breath in deeply and then add, “I like you making me smile like this.”
Without missing a beat, he replies, “I like making you smile.”
We stare at each other for a few moments. The silence is oddly comfortable. Branson leans toward me and I think—hope—he’s going to kiss me, when he grabs the plate in front of me. “I’ll get to these dishes.” And just like that, the moment is gone and we are back Kasey and Branson, almost brother and sister-in-law.
While Branson cleans up, I move over to the couch and position myself so I have a clear view of the kitchen…and Branson…and easy access to my snow peas and salsa. While I watch him, a warm, fuzzy feeling envelops me, I like seeing him in the kitchen. Every now and then, he’ll glance over to me, totally catching me watching him, and he’ll wink or stick his tongue out at me. It’s fun and lighthearted…it’s perfect.
Now I just need to grow some lady balls and tell him how I feel. There are sooo many things holding me back, but my biggest concern is I’ll scare him off and I need him in my life. I can’t do this without him. Maybe I need to sacrifice my happiness to ensure Peanut has the best possible life.
“What ya thinking about?”
“Shit.” I jump in fright; I hadn’t even realized he’d finished with the kitchen and was now sitting next to me. He lifts my legs and places them on his thighs. He grabs my foot and begins to massage it. “MMMMMM,” I moan. “It feels so good.”
Opening my eyes, I see him staring intently at me, the rich brown of his eyes like dark chocolate. My heart rate increases, my mouth becomes dry. The air around us thickens as we continue to stare at one another.
Lifting my legs off him, I shuffle so I’m sitting next to him. We both turn and cross our legs, facing one another. He reaches over and takes my hands in his. Lifting them to his lips, he places a gentle kiss on my knuckles. My heart stops beating this time, we both lean toward one another. Our breathing hurried, my chest rising erratically with each breath. I can feel his warm breath on my face, my eyes close and I wait for it…but it never comes.
Opening my eyes, I see Branson has pulled back. He quickly hops up. “I have to go, busy day tomorrow.” He leans down, places a kiss on my forehead, and quickly leaves. Leaving me sitting here alone.
Rejected.
Relieved.
All of the above.
“What the fuck?” I murmur to the room, covering my mouth with my hand, letting out a frustrated sigh.
Now I’m even more confused than before. Shaking my head, I stand up, turn all the lights off, and head to bed. After changing into my pajamas, I lie on the mattress and stare at the ceiling. Sleep eludes me. I keep playing the scene from earlier over and over in my head. He wanted to kiss me—I know he did—but why did he pull away, why? Is it shame for wanting his dead brother’s fiancée? Is he revolted by my pregnant body? Or are my pregnancy hormones in overdrive, making me think there’s something there when there’s not?
“Gah!” I shout to the room, smacking the bedsheets in frustration.
Climbing out of bed, I walk into the kitchen, grab my snow peas and salsa, and sit at the island counter and munch away.
My phone dings with a text; grabbing it, my heart stops when I see it’s from Branson.
Branson: I’m sorry about earlier. Can I take you to dinner on Friday night?
He wants to take me out. Is this a date? Or an ‘I’m sorry but I’m just not that into you’ dinner? Either way, I want to find out.
Kasey: I’d like that.
Branson: It’s a date. Pick you up at 7
Branson: Nite nite :)
Kasey: Looking forward to it. Nite Xo
Once again I’m confused about everything when it comes to Branson, but at the same time, I can’t wait for our date/non-date on Friday. One way or another, I’m going to find out how Branson really feels about me…and I really hope we are on the same page.
Chapter Ten
Branson
My dinner invitation was meant to be a friendly, ‘I’m sorry for almost kissing you, we are still great friends, please don’t hate me dinner,’ but then I had to go and text back ‘it’s a date.’ What the fuck, Holmes? But at the same time, I’m happy she said yes, maybe I haven’t ruined us after all.
The next three days drag. I’m a cranky asshole to everyone and I’ve steered clear of Kasey’s place for fear of doing something stupid…like trying to kiss her again…even though I really, really want to kiss her. To feel her lips pressed against mine. To run my hands over her sexy body. To feel my dick slide into her wet heat, fuck, I need to stop thinking about this, otherwise I’m going to have to jack off…again.
Even though I’m not seeing her, each day after work I head over to her place and watch. I sit in my car like a creeper and keep an eye on her house. More than anything, I want to get out of my car, go inside, and see how she’s doing, but I’m too chicken to go in and see her. I’m fearful that our almost moment from the other night has ruined everything between us.
Finally it’s Friday, I’m a ball of nerves all day. I feel like I’m going to throw up. Holy shit, I’m going on a fucking date with Kasey Wellson.
My dead brother’s fiancée.
The mother of his child.
My ‘ish sister-in-law.
I’m totally going to hell for this, but it will be so worth it.
Any pain associated in relation to spending time with and falling for Kasey will totally be worth any punishment thrown my way. If I’m honest, I’ve been in love with Kasey for as long as Kody has—well, a few moments longer—and I remember the day we first met her, like it was yesterday…
…Kody and I were having a few beers in the bar around the corner from U of I, the door opened and I swear my heart stopped beating. In walked the most stunning woman I had ever seen. Her chocolate brown locks were blowing in the wind. She had vivid blue eyes that I could clearly see from where I was sitting. Curves in all the right places. Perfect pert breasts, encased in an emerald green sweater that fit her like a glove. Legs that went on and on and her jeans looked like they were painted on. I was snapped back to reality when Kody, slapped me on the back. “You want another, dude?”
“Huh?” I deadpanned.
“You want another beer?” he repeated.
“Yeah, sure okay,” I said, shaking my head, I looked back to the door but the goddess from before had disappeared.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled, I turned in my seat, and she was walking toward me: the angel from before. Kody was behind her, he had the goofiest grin on his face, and I knew he saw her. “Just here,” he said to her, pointing to the table and me. “Branson, this is Kasey and her friend, Chloe. Kasey, Chloe, this is my brother, Branson.”
“Hi,” both the girls said but my eyes were locked on Kasey. She was even more stunning up close. She smiled at me, and I felt it deep in my soul. She then turned her attention to Kody and I was forgotten. The two of them hit it off immediately, and soon they were inseparable. I became the third wheel, but I’d happily be the third wheel if it meant I
could be near Kasey. That is until one day Kody told me to back off, he wanted to get serious with Kasey and I was not welcome anymore.
I’d never seen my brother so enamored with someone before, so I did the brotherly thing and I backed off. His, and her, happiness meant more to me than my own, so I stepped back and watched as the two of them fell hopelessly in love with one another and planned their life together…
Shaking that memory away, I finish getting ready for my non-date date with Kasey. After my trip down memory lane, I’m excited to see what happens tonight, but at the same time, I feel guilty for pursuing her now. Sure, I stepped back and let Kody have her in the beginning, but he’s not here—man that makes me sound like an asshole—and I am. Kasey deserves to be happy. She deserves to be loved once again. This is a fucked-up situation but for once, I want to put me first. I want to see if there is anything there between us, and if these last few weeks are anything to go by, the dynamics between us have changed, a few almost kisses. Innocent touches here and there. We’ve had a few ‘moments’ as they’d say in the movies, and I’m at the point where I want those moments to move forward. I think Kody would be happy for us. I know if it was me; I would be but at the same time, how will our families feel about it all? How will others feel?
This is a fucked-up situation but I don’t give a damn, I want Kasey Wellson and I’m going to go for it. Consequences be damned.
Chapter Eleven
I’m a ball of nerves as I wait for Branson to pick me up, I seriously have first date nerves even though this isn’t a date date…well, I don’t think it is, but his text did say ‘it’s a date.’ But that phrase can be interpreted in many ways. GAH, I hate this. Why can’t things just go back to me being fat and pregnant and Branson being uncle to Peanut, not Branson being the star of my X-rated fantasies, or my future.