by Graham Downs
"What do you mean, Ma?" asked Sam. "How much did you hear?"
"Everything, son." Ma Becky coughed into her fist. "And I tell you, he's wrong. I'm dying, Sam. I don't know how long. Maybe hours. Maybe days. But I feel it in my soul."
Sam ran to her bedside and took her hand in his. He squeezed it as he spoke. "Don't be ridiculous, mother. You won't be here long, and then you can come stay with us." He glanced at Audrey. She just shrugged. "You'll see. The doctor says you're going to be all right."
I could see that Sam didn't really believe it. His heart was racing at a mile a minute, and panic had him in an icy, vice-like grip.
Becky beckoned him closer and lowered her voice. "Now you listen to me. I don't have much time left, but I will not leave this Earth knowing that you kill people for a living. And you," she glared at Audrey. "We've never seen eye to eye, but I know you know what I'm talking about. If you love my son, I mean really love my son, you will see to it that he makes an honest woman out of you, and an honest man of himself. Now go away, and let an old woman rest."
Sam tried to reply, but Becky just waved him away. "Go," she said.
Chapter Thirteen
Sam left but didn't go far. He had a terrible feeling that he should stay close. Audrey followed him into the waiting room.
"Listen, babe," started Sam. "About what my mom said...."
"She's right," answered Audrey. "I know exactly what you do for a living. Maybe not all the details, but I know. I've known for a long time. She's right about something else, too. We can't build a life together if we carry on like this. We have to start being honest with each other. And you have to get a real job."
His Adam's Apple bobbed up and down, as he took a moment to consider.
"Babes," he said at last, "I do love you. And I want to do whatever it takes to make you happy. If it means that much to you, I'll... get out of the business."
He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, stopping on Alex's number.
"Wait!" said Audrey. "Sam, don't do anything you'll regret, please. Or get us into trouble. I've heard stories. People say it's not easy leaving that world."
Sam chuckled nervously and gave his girlfriend a peck on the lips. "Don't worry, babes. Nobody knows who I am or where I live. Alex handles all that. I'll just... tell him I'm out. That's all."
"Who's Alex? Does he know where we live?"
"I never told him, babes, and I never met him at the house. I don't know anything incriminating about him, either. I'll just give him a call and tell him I'm out. Everything will be fine. I promise."
But Sam gulped as he said that, and I could tell he was trying to convince himself, just as much as Audrey.
***
Alex wasn't happy, to put it mildly. He spent almost the entire phone conversation swearing at Sam, then asking what he was going to tell Joanna (Sam said to tell her to just find someone else), then threatening him with all manner of unpleasantness.
Once all that was over, and Sam convinced Alex that he was leaving the business no matter what, Alex threatened him some more if he was ever reported to the police, and said he never wanted to see Sam again as long as he lived.
"How did it go?" asked Audrey, when Sam had hung up the phone.
"Fine," said Sam, but he was shaking like a leaf. "I think we might have to move, though. Alex said he'd kill me if he ever saw me again."
Audrey gasped. "Babes, are you really sure you want to do this? Are you sure we'll be okay? And what about the money? How are we going to live?"
"We'll be fine," said Sam. "Let's just lay low for a while. Maybe take that holiday we've been thinking about. And don't worry about the money, either. I have a couple hundred grand saved up. Enough to support us for a few years, anyway."
"What do you mean you've..." Audrey started saying, but then stopped herself. She held up her hands in defeat. "Never mind. I don't want to know. We can't leave, though. What about your mother?"
"We'll stick around until she's well enough to come home, and then take her with us."
Audrey folded her arms. "Oh, no we won't. The doctor said she's going to need extra care when she gets out of hospital. Who's going to look after her? Not me, I can promise you that."
Sam tried hard to hide his eye-roll. "Okay, love. We don't have to do anything right now. Let's just think it over for a few days, okay? Right now, I think I need to be with my mother."
"Fine," said Audrey curtly. "But I've had a long day. You stay as long as you need to. I'll grab a ride home and catch some sleep. Will you be okay on your own?"
"Sure," said Sam, and kissed his girlfriend on the lips. "I'll be home later. Bye."
***
Sometime later, Sam fell asleep in an armchair in his mother's room.
"I know who you are."
My eyes went to the bed; Rebecca was awake. I looked around, but aside from her sleeping son, there was no-one else around.
"Yes, I see you. And I know who you are."
My heart skipped a beat. "H-how...." I started to ask, but then it dawned on me. "Rebecca? Rebecca Martin?"
Rebecca coughed and beckoned me closer with her finger. She gestured towards her sleeping son. "We don't want to wake him."
I moved closer to the old woman, still dumbstruck that she could both see and hear me.
"Years ago," she whispered when I was close enough, "you saved me. My father was a terrible, abusive man, and I almost killed myself over his selfishness. You dragged me back from that precipice."
She reached over and picked up a glass of water from the bedside table, before taking a sip and continuing. "And it wasn't the first time. I first saw you when I was three years old. You protected me for a long time. Then one day, you disappeared."
"But how?" I asked. "How can you see me? Or hear me?"
Rebecca chuckled quietly. "I don't know. My mother always told me I had a guardian angel looking out for me. I suppose I always knew it was you."
I couldn't think of anything better to say, but I knew I should say something, so I stammered, "I-I'm sorry for everything that happened to you."
She waved her hand. "Don't be. We all play the hand we're dealt, as the saying goes." She again nodded towards her sleeping son. "I'm dying. No matter what the doctors say. No matter what Sam over there says. But he has his whole life ahead of him. And I need you to protect him. Promise me you'll take care of my boy."
I swallowed hard. As a guardian angel, you can't choose what's going to happen. Where you'll be next. I thought about lying to this woman, promising that everything would be okay. But I couldn't. I knew that Sam was heading for disaster. I would do everything in my power to prevent that, but I just wasn't sure I'd be around long enough to do anything.
Rebecca saw the pain on my face. "That's all right," she said. But she sounded disappointed. "I understand. Perhaps you could promise me something else? Promise me that, when I die, I can be a guardian angel like you."
My chin trembled. I couldn't promise that either, but maybe if I spoke to John, something could be done.
"I'll do my best," I said. Then something occurred to me. "One more thing," I said. "Did you ever make it to Australia?"
Rebecca's eyes glazed over, remembering. "No," she said. "My mother wanted to send me, but I came to my senses. It would've been stupid to go. It wouldn't have changed a thing, but it would've wiped my poor mother out. She would've done anything to keep me happy, but I couldn't let her do that."
After that, she fell asleep.
***
Rebecca slept peacefully, while Sam continued to snore in the armchair in her room.
About an hour later, Sam woke with a start, to the sound of a long, shrill beep. At first, he didn't know where he was. When he remembered, he saw a long line on the monitor next to his mother's bed. Her EKG was flat-lining.
He shot to his feet and screamed frantically. "Nurse! Nurse! Anyone! Please, come quickly!"
Doctor Deetleefs came racing into the room with two
nurses in tow. Despite their soft-soled shoes, their feet pounded on the floor. The doctor took one look at the patient lying on the bed and said, "Sorry, Mister Anderson, but you'll have to leave. We need space to work."
With that, the nurses hurried Sam out of the room.
Sam paced around the waiting area for a full twenty minutes, occasionally rushing to the receptionists to ask if they had any news. Each time, they shook their heads sadly. I could tell Sam was distraught beyond words, and no amount of projecting happy thoughts into his head was going to calm him down.
Finally, the doctor came out of Rebecca's room. Sam rushed up to him, but he had a solemn expression on his face. He put his hand on Sam's arm and said softly, "I'm sorry."
Sam burst into tears and buried his face into the doctor's chest.
Chapter Fourteen
"I'm so sorry, babe." Audrey held Sam close.
He'd driven back from the hospital in a haze, and it was lucky I'd been there or he'd have had more than a few accidents on the way. Audrey was waiting for him when he got home, and he'd told her everything.
Sam pulled away and sniffed. "Thanks, love," he said. "I'm sorry I'm being such a baby. I'm not the first man to have his mother pass away."
"Nonsense. You loved her. Of course you did. It's why I love you—I don't think I could be with a man who'd be perfectly fine after his mother died."
He smirked at that. "So, what do we do now?"
Audrey hugged him again. "Now, my love, you take some time to mourn. I'll handle the funeral arrangements and everything. I don't want you to worry about anything. I'm here for you, Sam. Always."
Sam ran his hand through his hair. "Oh, crap, the funeral. We need to talk about the funeral. I need to phone the church... which church did she belong to again? I can't even remember. I was raised in that church. I should remember." He started to cry again.
"Relax, babes. I said I'd handle it. Have you got her keys? I'll drive over to her house and see if I can find a contact book, or whatever you call it. Old people still use those, so she must have one, and her pastor or priest or whatever's name should be in there."
"Pastor. It's a pastor. She was Presbyterian. I remember now. She converted after she got pregnant with me, and my father ran off. I think the pastor's name was Rogers, or Robinson, or something like that. And, oh, my father. I have no idea who he is. Do you think he'd want to know?"
She kissed him. "All right, love. I'll see what I can find out. I'll be back as soon as I can. Try and get some rest."
After Audrey left, Sam collapsed on the couch. Myriad thoughts swam through his head. Of his mother, and his childhood, and Audrey. He was going to marry Audrey. If she said yes. But he couldn't ask her now. Maybe after the funeral. What had he done to deserve such a kind, caring woman?
His thoughts were interrupted by the front door bursting open. In stormed Alex, brandishing a pistol.
He pointed it at Sam's head and grinned. "You think I didn't know where you lived, prick? Like I don't do my homework on everyone who works for me?" His smile faded. "All right, bru. It's nothing personal, you understand, my man, but it's time for you to go."
Sam did the weirdest thing, just then. He let his arms drop to his lap, cocked his head back, and stared. Just stared at Alex. I couldn't tell what was going through his mind; his thoughts were too frantic. But he seemed resigned to what was about to happen.
Alex's face took on a confused expression. Still, he didn't hesitate, and as his finger squeezed down on the trigger, I closed my eyes and willed for the gun to jam, or for there to be no bullets in it, or for something, anything to go wrong.
No, I thought. Not again. Please, not again!
The gun jammed. Alex couldn't get the trigger to depress. Frustration crept across his face. I smiled.
And then, the familiar feeling came over me. The spiral circled before my eyes. I tried to fight it. Don't take me away now! I screamed. But of course, no-one heard me.
The spiral dissipated, leaving me standing in The World Beyond The Veil, with John and Liz staring at me.
***
"What have I done wrong now?" I asked. The only time I'd ever been brought back here after an assignment, I'd done something I shouldn't've, and was about to be reprimanded.
John and Liz shook with laughter.
"You haven't done anything wrong, silly," said Liz. She was smiling from ear to ear.
John put a hand across her chest. He was practically jumping up and down with excitement. "No, let me tell him."
Liz rolled her eyes. "Oh, okay. If you must."
To say I was confused would've been an understatement. "Tell me what? What's going on?"
"I think it's best if we show you," John put his arm around my shoulders, and gently moved me forward. "Come, there's someone who wants to meet you." He led me into the training room.
***
"Hello, Adam."
Standing before me was an angel I'd never met before. A female angel. Of course, I could never claim to meet every angel who worked in this place, but there was something about this one.
I looked at her, then at John, then at Liz. They were all smiling.
"Adam," said John. "This is Ricky."
She held out her hand. "Pleased to finally make your acquaintance."
When I didn't respond, all three of them burst out laughing. And then I saw it. Looking at her, I could see the cute little three-year-old girl, the rebellious thirteen-year-old, the noble, dignified old woman on her death-bed. Finally, I managed to speak.
"B-but how? Why?"
It was Ricky who answered. "I'm not really sure. I couldn't remember anything when I arrived, but then John met me inside the gates. He said you made me a promise back there. He told me I asked if I could be a guardian angel, and you said you'd see what you could do. Well, you did it. Here I am."
"Well, Adam, looks like you've got yourself a protégé," said Liz. She giggled. "Good luck!"
"No," I said, quickly. "I mean, I can't. I've only just started doing this myself. How could I possibly teach someone else?"
"You don't have to, Adam." John stepped forward and gave Liz a disparaging look. "You're a guardian angel, not a trainer. That's my job." He turned to Ricky. "That is, if she'll have me, I'd love to train her. You go back to your job. I'll do mine."
With that, the spirals started again. Where was I off to this time?
Epilogue
People often say they have a guardian angel looking out for them, especially when they survive a harrowing experience, like almost crashing their cars, falling off ladders, or choking on pieces of chewing gum. After a near-catastrophe like that, how often have you thought, "Wow, my guardian angel must be really looking out for me today?"
But I wonder how many people actually believe it to be true. There aren't many people who talk openly about their guardian angel when things are going well... are there?
My name is Ricky, and I am a guardian angel.
Acknowledgements
First off, and most importantly, a huge thank you to my wife, Elmari, for putting up with all my issues, and listening to me ramble on and on about this book. It's taken me a long time to write (almost two years!), and her support has been unwavering. She was the first person to read Memoirs after I was done, but long before it was anywhere near ready for publication. She didn't pull any punches in her feedback, and the story is a million times better because of it.
Thanks, as well, to the rest of my family, whose continued support and encouragement are things I should never take for granted. These people are always willing to read for me, and their insights never cease to amaze.
To my wonderful readers, thank you for picking up this book. I know clicking that "Buy" button is a big step and a tough decision. I love every single one of you, and I appreciate you reading this far from the bottom of my heart!
The cover for this book was designed by the wonderfully talented Tallulah Habib from Covers by Tallulah. Click on the name to check out
her work. She doesn't just do covers, either.
Finally, to my writing group on Facebook, The Dragon Writers. I've learnt so much from every single one of you, and when I'm feeling down, or have a bit of writer's block, I know I can always pop into the group for some encouragement, or even just a pick-me-up. Even if I don't Like or comment on your posts, I hope you all realise just how much your community means to me.
About the Author
Graham Downs is a South African author of short stories, flash fiction, and novelettes, in a variety of genres. Memoirs of a Guardian Angel is his longest work to date.
He currently lives in Alberton, Gauteng, with his wife and their dog, Becky. He spends a good portion of his free time reading and, as with his writing, he reads books in a huge range of genres and lengths. He's also passionate about South African authors—particularly independently published ones.
If you want to keep up with Graham's writing journey, you can sign up for his e-mail newsletter at https://www.grahamdowns.co.za/. You'll get a free book if you do.
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