Catherine straightened in her chair with a start.
"Absolutely not, Detective. Its out of the question."
"Look, Doc," Watts suddenly interrupted. "This guy picks you -- you of all the people in the city -- to have a little talk with. He calls you to share a few `intimate details of his latest fuck. Now I gotta think thats not a coincidence. Like maybe hes got a little thing for you or something?"
"Back off, Watts," Rebecca ordered, fighting to control her temper. Wattss crude interrogation of Catherine incensed her, and had Catherine not been present, she would have told him to shut his fat fucking mouth. As it was, it was all she could do to keep her hands off him. "If Dr. Rawlings says hes not a patient, then he isnt."
Watts settled back in his chair apparently unperturbed. "Yeah, if you say so."
"Ill review all my files, Detective," Catherine offered. "If theres anything there at all I think may be relevant, Ill look into it."
"Absolutely not!" Rebecca exploded. "You are not to pursue any contact with anyone you think may be involved with this case! For gods sake, Catherine, this man is a psych -- hes already killed two women, and a third may die!"
"Oh, I dont know, Frye," Watts mused softly. "Might not be a bad idea. Maybe the doc can come up with something for us. We aint got shit now."
"Leave it alone, Watts," Rebecca said, cold fury in her voice. She looked at Catherine, her blue eyes dark with a mixture of anger and a fear she couldnt quite hide.
"Promise me, Catherine," she said urgently, not caring that Watts was sitting beside her.
Catherine despaired at the anguish in Rebeccas eyes, and she hated the conflict her involvement had created for Rebecca. The last thing she wanted was to make Rebeccas already overwhelmingly difficult job any harder. "Yes, of course," she answered quickly. She was rewarded by the slight easing of Rebeccas stiff shoulders.
"Well need to put a tap on your phone," Rebecca said, her mind beginning to function again. "Ill put a man in your office, too."
Catherine sighed deeply, hating the words she had to say. "I cant let you do that, Rebecca."
Rebecca looked up from her notebook, astonishment flooding her face. Watts looked almost amused.
"What?" Rebecca exploded.
"I cant have my line monitored. Its an invasion of my patients privacy. And a man lurking about in my waiting room would be too unsettling for some of my clients. I just cant allow it," Catherine said as gently as possible.
"Catherine," Rebecca began, her tone dark with exasperation. This was too much. She couldnt deal with this professional bullshit any longer -- not when it put Catherine at risk. Confidentiality was one thing, but this was carrying it too damn far. Not only did she need to protect Catherine, but she had to have access to this guy if he called again. Before she could continue, Watts interrupted.
"How bout this, Doc," he suggested. "We put a tape recorder on your phone, and if our boy calls, you record it. And well have somebody watching your office from a car on the street?"
Catherine considered carefully for a moment. "The tape recorder sounds fine, but I cant have someone watch my clients come and go."
"God damn it to hell!" Rebecca barked.
"OK for now," Watts said, slapping his thigh briskly. He turned to Rebecca, his face carefully revealing nothing. "Talk to you outside for a moment, Frye?" He rose and strode deliberately to the office door, leaving Rebecca to follow angrily behind.
"What the fuck do you think youre doing, Watts?" she roared as soon as the door closed behind her. "Its not up to you how we run this case. Im in charge here, and Ill say how we handle this surveillance." Her face was two inches from his, and it took all of her control not to punch his already misshapen face in.
Watts reached unperturbedly into his jacket pocket and fumbled for a cigarette. He lit it, took a long drag and exhaled slowly.
"Looks to me like the shrink is one stubborn lady. If were gonna get anything out of her, were gonna have to go real slow and gentle, like a virgin on her first date."
"Jesus Christ," Rebecca murmured. "You are the worst piece of crap Ive come upon in years. If you think Im going to leave her here like some piece of bait, youre stupider than you look." She was having trouble thinking straight, but she couldnt seem to clear her head. She had been up for nearly three days running with only a few hours of sleep. Jeff was dead, for gods sake, and now some piece of slime had slithered into her world and touched the woman sheshe what , for christs sake? The woman she let hold her when her heart was breaking? The woman who gave her her body for comfort and a few hours peace? Oh god, what was she doing? How could she have let this happen now, in the middle of a case like this? She sagged slightly against the wall and stared numbly at Watts, who continued to puff contentedly on his cigarette.
"Sorry, Watts," she said at length. "Youre right. We cant force her to do anything, and even a tape is better than nothing. Probably cant use it as evidence though."
"Doesnt matter if we catch the guy. Well have a DNA match from the semen."
Rebecca stared at him wordlessly. He was right again.
"Lets see if Cathif Dr. Rawlings has anything else to add," she said tiredly, feeling ineffectual and unaccountably defeated.
Watts turned away, saying, "You do it. Not much more there, and Im ready to call it a day." He strolled away, leaving Rebecca staring at his retreating back.
Chapter Twenty
Catherine, already tiredly slumped in her chair, listened to the angry murmur of voices outside her door. The excitement of the last few hours had dissipated, leaving her drained. She knew Rebecca was angry, and she understood, or thought she did as much as anyone could, the frustration and powerlessness the detective must feel right now. To have this man, whose identity had eluded the police so thoroughly, suddenly reveal his presence in such an arrogant and taunting manner was an insult too bitter to contemplate. And, Catherine also knew that her unwilling involvement with him placed a great strain on Rebecca, who now must feel torn between her professional obligation to maintain contact with the perpetrator and her personal desire to shield Catherine from him. Catherines inability to cooperate in the way that Rebecca required certainly did not help ease the situation. She stared uneasily at her office door, wondering what future difficulties the return of the two detectives would bring. Clearly, Rebecca and her associate did not see eye to eye on the best way to proceed. Catherine imagined it must be very hard for Rebecca to deal with a new partner so soon after the Jeffs death, especially since Rebecca had no real opportunity to mourn the loss of her friend.
"Of course, shell never have time to deal with his death as long as she can drive her feelings into some hidden corner by working twenty hours a day," Catherine mused to herself. "I suppose shes placing me in the same category --someone who creates feelings shed rather avoid."
She sighed softly and leaned her head against the back of her tall leather chair. Sometimes it was hard being a psychiatrist -- it was too hard facing what many others never really saw. Now and then she longed to live just from moment to moment like most of the world, not really knowing, or caring, why she did or felt something. She longed to abandon just for a few hours her awareness of the struggle it was merely to survive.
When Rebecca returned to the office, she found Catherine asleep. They had kept the lights low deliberately in case anyone was watching from the street. Now the stillness was complete except for the soft steady breathing of the woman before her. Rebecca sank into the chair across from Catherine and studied her silently. Catherines face was soft in sleep, with only a hint of lines about her full lips to suggest that she was not a young woman. Her hair fell in soft curls to her shoulders, peppered with the grey that gave her the distinguished look that suited her so well. She looked very beautiful to Rebecca, who rose finally and touched her shoulder.
"Catherine," Rebecca called gently.
A faint smile touched her lips as Catherines eyes fluttered open. Her gaze widened with pleasure when she found Reb
ecca bending over her, even as she noted the tightness around Rebeccas fine mouth and deep eyes. And Catherine also saw a weariness that she had never seen before in Rebeccas eyes, not even when Rebecca had come to her in the first hours after Jeffs death. Instinctively she reached out to stroke the strong face before her.
"What is it, love?" she asked quietly.
Rebeccas heart lurched at the words. She longed to tell Catherine her fears. That Catherine might be in danger, that she couldnt bear the thought of this evil touching Catherine in any way, even with words, and that she wasnt sure she could function if she thought Catherine might be harmed. But she forced herself to keep her demons to herself. It was time she began acting like a cop instead of allowing Catherine to take care of her again and again.
"I need to take you home," Rebecca replied quietly. She turned her head slightly and kissed the fingers that still rested against her face.
Catherine recognized the barrier that Rebecca had erected between them, and, despite her understanding, she was hurt by it. She needed to know this woman, all of her, not just the parts Rebecca allowed the world to see. Catherine knew her strengths -- she could see them in her body, feel them in her touch, hear them in her words. But what of Rebeccas fears and her needs? Would they always be closed to her?
Catherine nodded, knowing that now was not the time to search for answers. Rebecca had sustained a tremendous emotional blow from Jeffs death, and the investigation was taking a heavy toll on her physical and emotional reserves.
"I have my car here," Catherine answered.
Rebecca shook her head. "I dont want you driving alone. Ill drive you and pick you up in the morning. You can come back for your car."
Catherine started to protest but then thought better of it. An argument now would not help either of them, and she suddenly realized she was exhausted. It was nearly ten oclock, and, once again, she had missed a meal.
"Burger break on the way?" she asked, rising stiffly from her chair.
Rebecca at last grinned. "Ill do better than that. Ill treat you to pizza."
"Youre on," Catherine replied, slipping an arm around Rebeccas slim waist. Rebecca pulled Catherine to her quickly and held her fiercely.
"I have to go out again," Rebecca whispered into Catherines hair. "Things are beginning to move in this case, and Ive got to stay on top of it. I wish I could stay with you, but Ill have one of the black-and-whites cruise by your place every half hour or so."
Catherine leaned back in Rebeccas arms, her clear green eyes meeting the deep blue ones now filled with worry.
"Ill be fine, but I appreciate your looking out for me. I know you have to do what youre doing now, but Im concerned. You havent slept enough in three days to account for one good nights sleep, and you wont be very effective if you cant think straight."
Rebecca kissed her then, a slow deep kiss that kindled desire in both of them. When she broke away at last, they were gasping. Rebeccas hands traveled unbidden to the round fullness of Catherines breasts, feeling the softness of silk beneath her fingers. She pressed against Catherine, fusing her taller, lean frame to the gentle curves and planes of Catherines body. Catherine backed up slightly until her back touched the edge of her desk, and slipped her hands under Rebeccas jacket. She traced the muscle of Rebeccas back down to the firmness of her thighs. She moaned as Rebeccas fingers closed over her nipples, and warm liquid shimmered in her core. Rebeccas hands were insistent now, one raising her skirt, pressing against the restraints of her undergarment, the other fumbling with the buttons of Catherines blouse.
"Let me lock the door," Catherine murmured, fumbling with the buckle on Rebeccas belt.
"To hell with that -- Ive got a gun," Rebecca said. She raised her head from Catherines breast and looked wildly about her. Wordlessly, she slipped her arm behind Catherines knees and picked her up, carrying her the few feet to the couch across the room. Laying her down, she quickly pulled Catherines garments aside and knelt before her. Pressing her face against the warm flesh of Catherines thighs, she breathed in her heady aroma . Her lips sought the source, consumed with the need to touch her, taste her, absorb her into every cell. Rebecca groaned as the wetness welcomed her. She immersed herself in it, seeking and probing for Catherines very soul. She slid both hands under Catherines buttocks, raising Catherines hips, pulling her closer.
"Oh god, Rebecca," Catherine cried, her hands twisted in Rebeccas thick hair. "You feel so good, so good. Oh yes - right there! Oh!"
Rebecca moaned, feeling Catherine grow even harder under her tongue. She brought a hand between Catherines thighs, finding entrance with two fingers. She pushed inward as she sucked harder on the rapidly quivering shaft between her lips.
"Yes, Rebeccamake me come--," Catherine breathed, her voice an urgent whisper. "Oh please -- make me come."
Even as she heard the words, Rebecca felt the internal spasms, and she knew it had begun. She increased the pressure with her tongue, gripping Catherine as Catherines hips heaved upward. Rebecca continued to stroke the pulsing flesh with her lips and tongue long after Catherines cries had ceased and her limbs quieted. Finally, Rebecca pulled herself upright and stretched out beside Catherine on the couch, pulling the sated woman into her arms. Catherines arms came around her; she felt soft lips on her neck.
"Youre wonderful," Catherine sighed contentedly. "Im completely demolished."
Rebecca laughed quietly, her arms tightening about Catherines supple frame. "I needed to touch you so much I couldnt stop myself." She looked down into Catherines face. "I had to be that close to you."
"I know, Rebecca," Catherine said softly. "And Im right here."
All other realities vanished as they slipped into sleep.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rebecca was awakened by a relentless pain in her left side. She shifted carefully on the office couch and reached between her body and Catherine to reposition her shoulder holster against her rib cage. Her watch showed that it was nearly 3 A.M . Her head ached and her body felt empty -- drained of all emotion or energy. She realized she hadnt eaten since early the previous morning. She knew that that combined with sleep deprivation was sapping her strength. Still, she forced herself upright and swung her legs to the floor.
"What are you doing?" Catherine asked sleepily, curling her body against Rebeccas back and stroking her softly.
"There are things I need to do that cant wait," Rebecca said quickly. "Can you sleep here the rest of the night? Ill swing by and pick you up in the morning."
Catherine shook the sleep from her head and thought for a moment.
"I have to be back here for rounds at 9 oclock. Can you be here at six-thirty?"
"Yes. Lock the door when I leave and dont open it until you hear my voice. And dont answer the phone!"
"But what if he calls again?"
"Then hell have to wait. I dont want anyone to know youre here alone," Rebecca replied angrily.
"Yes, I see. Of course." Catherine sat up beside Rebecca and met her steel gaze. "Ill do exactly as you say. Please dont worry about me tonight."
Rebeccas face softened suddenly, and she bent forward to kiss Catherine. "Thanks. I know its hard being ordered around --"
Catherine stopped her with a gentle hand to her lips. "Nonsense. In these matters, youre the expert and I trust you."
Rebecca reached for Catherines hand, squeezed it quickly, and pulled her to her feet.
"Come lock the door behind me."
"Be careful," Catherine whispered as the door closed firmly. She stood motionless for some moments, listening as Rebeccas footsteps echoed down the empty corridor. The room suddenly felt chilly and she pulled her raincoat from the rack behind the door and threw it around her shoulders. She was worried, and she knew she had good reason to be. Rebecca was in far more danger than she was at the moment. Catherine was only too aware of how quickly reflexes and thought processes could be impaired by fatigue and stress. She fought the anxiety, knowing she could not influence Rebeccas beh
avior -- that, in fact, Rebecca was behaving in the only way she could under these circumstances. Once again, understanding was small comfort. She sighed deeply, pulled the coat tighter around her shoulders, and resigned herself to wait out the rest of the night on her own therapy couch.
**********
Rebecca slowly cruised the streets of the tenderloin. Even at this hour -- the darkest, loneliest part of the night -- there were people about on the streets. The vagrants were all tucked away in their cubby holes, in doorways or on subway grates, covered with bits of carpet or old clothes, their possessions gathered under their arms for safety. But there were still a few prostitutes huddled in pairs or leaning singly against storefronts, hoping for one more trick before morning. And cars continued to cruise by, the drivers faces were cast in shadow as they surveyed the possibility of a quick antidote to their loneliness. Rebecca circled the six-block area several times until she finally saw her. Standing alone in the archway of an adult bookstore, her long legs bare to mid-thigh despite the cold. Rebecca pulled her car to the curb and rolled the passenger window down. The girl had looked up as the car pulled over, and her look of anticipation quickly turned to dismay as she recognized Rebecca.
"Oh man! Cant you leave me alone? Youre gonna ruin my business!"
"Get in," Rebecca said, pushing the curbside door open.
"Uh-uh. No way. You dont have nothing on me --"
"Do you want to talk to me in here, or should I come out and walk around the streets with you a while?"
"Oh Jesus! I dont need this!" she swore as she quickly crossed the pavement and slid into the small bucket seat.
"Put your seatbelt on," Rebecca said as she pulled away from the curb.
Sandy snorted in disgust. "If you cared so much about my well-being, youd stay the fuck away from me. People down here start thinking Im a snitch, I could get hurt."
"What people?" Rebecca said nonchalantly, her eyes on the road.
Radclyffe - Justice 01 - Shield Of Justice Page 9