by M. Malone
Now that they were trying, the last thing he wanted was for her to see him like this. He didn't want to put out a neon beacon that said, ‘Hey, killer, killer. Look over here, I'm a killer.’ Yeah, some killer you are. Getting nicked by some two-bit punk. So stupid. If his head had just been in the game, this wouldn't have happened.
Between looking for information on the Del Tinos (anything to give them leverage), trying to handle their current client caseload, and then figuring out how to stop ORUS from carrying out their contract on Lucia, he was doing too much. But was there really any other choice?
Mustering enough energy to open the door to the Range Rover, he slumped out, praying his legs would carry him at least to the elevator. It was a private elevator that went straight up to Blake Security. Once in there, all he had to do was push a button and then he could lie down. Lie down and sleep. Oh God how badly he wanted to sleep.
No. No sleeping. That was the blood loss talking. With a hand pressed over his wound, he lumbered over to the elevator, stopping once because he needed a damn break. But all he had to do was get inside the elevator dammit. Get inside, and he’d see Lucia again. That would make him feel better. He hated leaving her to go on jobs. But he couldn’t let everything slide just because her life was in danger. He had to find a better solution.
It was time to bring on more men. Right now they had more work than they could handle. Five more steps. God, he wanted to see Lucia. She had been so twitchy this morning. He hadn’t been able to get to the bottom of it. But that's what he'd been thinking about all day. That's what had him distracted. Because she was twitchy. Fuck, he was so pussy-whipped. He had to get a handle on that shit. Three more steps.
His mind, seeking a refuge from the pain, went to the one source of comfort he could conjure up. Love. He’d had women want to sleep with him, want to use him, want to claim him. He’d never had one want to love him before. He had no idea what to do with that. All he knew was he wasn’t letting her take it back. No way. She was his now.
He still couldn’t believe it. She loved him. No one had ever loved him. Besides Rafe. And now Lucia. Noah wanted to be in her arms. One more step. As soon as the doors opened, he fell in with a sigh. Almost home. Almost to Lucia. Damn he was tired. He just wanted to—
The elevator doors opened. And he forced himself to standing position. All he had to do was make it to the med bay, and then he could pass out in peace. The doctor would get here soon. They’d patch him up and he would be fine. But fuck, why was he so tired? He could barely keep his damn eyes open. But luck was on his side. There was no sign of Lucia. Because while he wanted her and her comfort, he also wanted to shield her. So it was a good thing she wasn’t back yet. That was great. All he wanted to do was make it into the—
“Noah. Did you just get back?" Lucia’s voice, soft and melodic, floated down like angels from heaven.
Then she appeared, her sharp eyes running over him, no doubt taking in his disheveled appearance. He hadn’t taken off the bloody shirt, too much work, but had thrown his jacket over it. His fingers tightened, holding the edges of the jacket closed.
He managed to grind out, "Yeah. I'm just going to my—office." Fine. The office wasn’t where he wanted to go, but it would do until the doctor got here. Damn. He’d been so close.
She frowned. "Noah? What's wrong? You look pale."
"I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm just gonna go to the office for a minute." He kept his back straight and forced his legs to move in the correct direction. With every step, he warned them not to shake, not to crumple. He also warned his brain that nobody was passing out. Not yet. He wasn't having any of that shit. If she saw, she’d be terrified. And she’d had enough fear to last a lifetime.
"You are not fine, Noah Blake. Look at you. Something is—" And her gaze went to the floor, and then back to the elevator and then to him. "Oh my God, you're bleeding." The horror and terror were so apparent in her gray eyes.
He frowned at her. How did she know? He was doing an excellent job of hiding this. He had protected her from himself, from the kind of life he led. She couldn't know he was bleeding.
"I'm fine." Shit, was he slurring?
The room started to spin too. Damn thing was tilting upside down. He felt drunk with the worst headache known to mankind. It’s blood loss. Stay on your feet. If he could just keep his shit together, she wouldn’t have to see him like this. He’d hoped to always protect her from this kind of shit. How’s that working out for you?
He went down on his knees. Oh shit. The gray started to encroach on his vision, just in the periphery. It shadowed out the light, creating a pinhole effect. The last thing he registered before he went down was Lucia screaming for Matthias and Oskar.
This was it. Lucia was going to kill Noah. Okay, first she was going to make sure he was absolutely better. Then she was going to kill him.
Four damn days. Four days that Lucia had been watching Noah sleep. Four days she'd been watching the doctor change and dress his wounds. Four days he’d been going in and out of consciousness. The knife he was cut with had been rusty as hell, and he’d needed a tetanus booster.
He’d had a fever yesterday that fortunately had broken quickly. He was already getting back to himself. He grumbled at Ryan for fucking up his breakfast this morning. He was definitely feeling more like himself. She'd never been so scared in her whole damn life. Noah kept insisting it was fine.
Yeah, well he should have seen the blood. How he'd even missed the fact that he was leaking was beyond her. The slash in his abdomen was nasty. At least nothing major had been punctured. With most of the infection gone, he had less to worry about. But he wasn’t out of the woods yet.
Because just as soon as he was better, she was going to kill him. How dare he try and hide something that serious from her? From what she could gather, his intention had been to go to his office, either patch himself up, kind of like he attempted to do in the car, or call Matthias to do it. He wouldn't have let her help, because even when he was hurt, he was trying to protect or shield her from himself. Who he was.
She was not down for that.
He had to get it through his thick skull that they were in this together. That he mattered to her. Her words weren't just surface words. She didn't just love the Noah who irritated her, then teased her into watching bad action movies. She loved this other side of him. The one that was edgy and dark. The one that needed her love the most.
He never wanted to show her that.
Well, too bad for him. That morning, after the doctor had left, she offered to take his dressing duties over. She knew how to apply a bandage thanks to Nonna, who’d been a nurse back in her day. She’d taught Lucia the basics.
Lucia hesitated outside his bedroom for just a moment. What if he didn’t want to see her? Well tough shit for him. She loved him and he’d scared her, so she didn't bother to knock. Hell, she’d been sleeping in here every night anyway. On the couch in the corner, ready to wake up if Noah needed her. Who was she kidding? There hadn’t been much sleeping happening. She’d sat in there and stared at his sleeping form. And the moment any of the guys had come in to try and relieve her, she’d threatened their balls. For some reason that made them all smile. What the hell was wrong with them? They might not fear her, but they would if they understood how much she loved him.
Her chest squeezed just thinking about how much blood he’d lost. How much worse it could have all been. That terrified her. What if she’d lost him?
So, no, there’d been no sleep for her. Not when the man she loved was in pain. Yeah, she was tired. But she was too terrified something would happen to him if she closed her eyes.
With her smile firmly in place, she pushed the door open. "Hey, I need to change your dressing."
He shifted his laptop and pinned his intense green gaze on her. "Lucia—you don't have to do that."
She ignored him. "Funny, you don't seem to know the difference between have to and want to. And you don't seem to understand how l
ove works."
He sighed. "Lucia —"
She put up a hand to halt him. "No. I don't want to hear about how you are protecting me. Blah, blah, blah. The same old song and dance. We established that I love you, and you love me. That means no secrets. And after everything you’ve told me, I thought we were done with that. So you don't get to hide this part of yourself. The parts that need bandaging. The parts that need help. I'm just here to change the dressing so I can help you get better faster. The moment you're better again, I'm going to kill you."
His green eyes sparked with fire, and she saw that her threat to harm him had the exact opposite effect. Instead of him looking scared for his life or even remotely docile, his gaze turned predatory. "Just how do you plan to kill me? With your mouth? With that sweet tight p—?"
"Noah Blake. Stop that now." His brows popped and his eyes widened to form a mock innocent face. "I know what you're doing. You will not deflect."
"Lucia, I'm fine. You see I'm fine. And I wasn't trying to hide. I just didn’t want you to do what you ended up doing; sitting by my bedside all night worrying. Freaking out."
“I will have you know that I did not freak out. I was extremely calm. I remember having to lug your injured carcass into the med room. Granted, Matthias helped with some of that. I was there and didn’t become some whimpering girl, crying and screaming. I was strong. And you need to start seeing me that way. I'm not weak."
He shook his head. "I know you're not weak. That still doesn't stop me from wanting to shield you from these things. Wanting to shield you from me. I never wanted this side of me to touch you."
"Newsflash— It's already touched me. And it wasn't necessarily from you. I need to be prepared. I can't be surprised by things. I love that you want to shield me and keep me safe, but you can't have it both ways. Either I'm a child who needs protection, or a woman you see as your equal who deserves your love."
His gaze snapped to hers and held. "I'm the one who doesn't deserve your love."
Lucia shrugged. "Well, that's too bad then because you've already got it." She leaned over and kissed his shoulder. Exactly over the scar she'd given him. "Please stop hiding from me. So that we can both get started really loving each other."
"Okay, I promise you. No more hiding. From now on, you get the raw truth. Every time."
"This means, no more shielding me from things that you think would be painful. Either I'm an equal or not. If I'm not, then I probably don't need to be in your bed."
His gaze narrowed on her. Yes, she was bluffing. Because she knew well enough by now, that she would be in Noah's bed. But she needed to stand her ground. So she met his gaze directly.
Even as he worked his jaw, he nodded. "I'll tell you everything."
She nodded. "Good. Now, I need to figure out just how to get you naked without disturbing your bandage."
Noah laughed. "I swear woman, you just want me for my body."
chapter twelve
LUCIA BRUSHED THE hair back from his face, taking in the sharp features and the strong jaw that she loved so much. Watching him struggle to recover the past few days had been as painful as being hurt herself. The crazy man had no idea how much he meant to her, did he? Apparently not if he thought he could hide an injury or that she wouldn’t want to be here taking care of him.
This was where she was meant to be.
“I definitely want you for your body. But that’s not what I want the most.”
At his questioning look, she pressed her hand over his heart. Lucia would never forget the gentle, awed look that passed over his face. For just a moment, Noah looked … vulnerable. She knew how hard it was for him to let her in and she’d always assumed it was because of his past. But now she was starting to think that he just had trouble believing good fortune was real. He looked at her like she was too good to be true.
So she’d just have to show him.
“I want you to hold still and let me do all the work.” She gave him a stern look before pressing a gentle kiss to his bare chest.
“Yes ma’am.” Noah grinned, happy to play the role of the obedient patient for now.
His eyes followed the movement of her lips as she explored the incredible chest that she never got tired of looking at. He was just so damn sexy and had muscles on top of muscles. But even he isn’t invincible, Lucia thought as she skipped over the bandages covering his wound. She nuzzled her face into his lower belly so he wouldn’t see her expression as she struggled to get her emotions under control. She’d been a basket case for the past few days and he had to be tired of seeing that. Now was the time to show him how happy she was to be with him. To make him feel good.
“And where exactly are you going, Miss Nurse?”
She laughed at his attempt to play the role. Even when she was supposed to be ‘in charge’ Noah had a way of taking over and directing things. It was something he did unconsciously but this time she wasn’t going to allow it.
“Quiet, young man. You’re supposed to be resting.”
His pupils dilated slightly as she continued down his belly, following the trail of hair that led beneath the pajama pants he was wearing. She gripped the edges and tugged them down until his cock popped free. Noah let out a strangled groan when she bumped it with her nose.
“I’m resting, I am.”
She gripped him firmly, tugging slightly on the soft skin, enjoying how he fit in her hand. “You seem to be recovering quite quickly. Maybe you don’t need me anymore.”
He shook his head frantically. “You are definitely needed here. Things have been so hard lately.”
“Really hard, huh?”
She gripped him tighter before taking the head between her lips. She loved his slightly salty taste and the way he got even harder in her mouth. It was intoxicating to pleasure him this way and know that she held him completely within her thrall.
“Lucia, God you don’t even know what it’s like to watch you do that.”
She glanced up to see Noah watching her, his face twisted in pleasure-pain. His eyes were fixed on where her mouth surrounded him. It normally would have made her self-conscious to have him watch, but there was no way to interpret the wild, animalistic look in his eye as anything other than pure lust.
She pulled back and licked the head, drawing a husky moan from Noah. “I like watching you, too.” She deliberately kept her eyes on his as she took him deeper this time, trying to relax her throat so she wouldn’t gag. The women he was used to could probably do this without any trouble, she thought bitterly. But then Lucia pushed the thought aside. He wasn’t with those women. He was with her.
He only wanted her.
When he hit the back of her throat she choked a little, but it seemed to turn Noah on even more.
“You trying to take all of me, baby?” There was a warning in his voice that Lucia couldn’t decipher. But her body responded to the dark eroticism in his voice, her nipples pebbling as she clenched between her thighs against a stab of desire.
He didn’t wait for her answer, just circled her throat with his hand. But he must have seen something in her eyes because he cursed viciously and pulsed in her mouth.
“Lucia, I need to be inside you.”
She pulled back and then climbed on top of him carefully. He’d recovered quickly over the past few days but she didn’t want to take any chances of him hurting himself. He rested one hand lightly on her hip while using the other to guide his erection in place. Lucia moaned softly as she sank down on him, going slowly to give herself time to adjust. No matter how many times she was with him, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to being filled so completely.
Noah’s fingers flexed on her hip when she finally took him all the way. Lucia rocked forward slightly and then gasped at the entirely new sensation. In this position, everything was stimulated simultaneously as his pelvic bone rubbed up against her clit.
Noah’s low, sexy chuckle rumbled through her. “Looks like my princess likes being on top.”
&
nbsp; She clenched around him, making him groan. “I do. You might not be able to get me off you after this.”
“Well then, by all means take the reins.”
He let his hands fall away and raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Game on.” Lucia was more than ready to take the challenge. She rested her hands on his chest and then lifted up slightly before dropping down. They cried out together at the jolt of pleasure.
“Again,” Noah ground out.
Lucia lifted her hips and then ground down on him again, crying out as her orgasm started, rolling over her in waves. She clenched around him, her hair flopping into her face as she struggled to keep the rhythm. Noah’s arms came up to support her and she gladly let his hands guide her hips until she felt him stiffen beneath her.
She fell forward, careful not to rest her weight directly on him. They rested together until Noah pushed her hair back so he could see her face. She grinned at him and then kissed the tip of his nose.
“You are a very bossy patient,” she muttered even as she settled into his embrace. She never wanted to leave his arms.
His soft smile made him look years younger. “Clearly I need a lot of help. You have your work cut out for you. You sure you’re up for that job?”
Although the question was asked in a joking manner, Lucia understood the deeper meaning immediately. Her arms tightened around his neck.
“Just try and get rid of me.”
Noah ignored the aching pain in his side as Lucia flitted around him, straightening this and plumping that. It seemed to calm her to fuss over him. The thought reminded him that she’d endured so much over the past few weeks and if their newfound relationship was going to have any chance of survival, they needed to find solid ground.
“I’m fine, Lucia. Come back to bed.”
She stood next to him wringing her hands. “Are you sure? I saw that face you made when you turned over. We shouldn’t have done that while you’re still hurt!”