by C. J. Harte
Laughing, Susan agreed. “But this time we stick to the list. My mother will shoot us both if we add any more.” They laughed and once again made a quick, but more purposeful, tour of the aisles.
Back at home, Susan’s controlling self took over and she was soon a field general directing her troops, moving food and organizing the cooking.
Watching this organized efficiency, Maggie was amused. The more she watched, the more attracted she became to Susan. Susan moved with more purpose and efficiency as the meal preparations progressed. Occasionally, Maggie would catch Susan looking at her. She loved the way Susan turned red when caught staring. Susan had a wholesome “girl next door” look. Her honey blond hair, pulled back into a simple ponytail, glowed in the Florida sun. Her eyes, now shaded with sunglasses, were almost the same shade as her hair, but flecked with green like a summer day and almost as warm. Maggie was glad her own sunglasses prevented Susan from noticing the care with which she was examining her well-shaped form—or the effect Susan’s smile was having on her. She was willing to bet Susan was unaware of just how attractive she was or the effect she could have on others. Maybe that’s part of the attraction.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do?” Maggie asked.
Susan smiled and shook her head. “You’re still company. Next time you wash dishes.”
Susan’s smile was dazzling. Maggie’s heart lurched. They both laughed.
Lunch was ready and Maggie disposed of her now empty bottle of beer and grabbed a couple of paper plates, quickly fixing the kids’ food and watching them eat. The enthusiasm her own children showed in emptying their plates amazed her. She filled her plate and sat back in a chair to eat and enjoy the conversation. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this relaxed.
After he finished eating, D.J. crawled into her lap. Soon Beth joined him and Maggie was happy. A few minutes later Cady came over and stood quietly looking. Maggie smiled, patted her lap, and made room for her. Yes, this is definitely peaceful, she thought as she leaned her chin on Beth’s head. She closed her eyes, allowing the good feeling. She heard Susan and her mother talking as they cleaned up but could barely understand either woman. The Florida sun warmed her and she allowed her body to truly relax.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Susan’s voice startled her. Maggie couldn’t remember falling asleep. That’s a first. Most nights I have trouble falling asleep.
“Come on, let’s get the kids inside,” Susan said.
Maggie helped her children brush their teeth and then stayed with them until they fell asleep. Cady had fallen asleep quickly. Before leaving the room, she looked at the sleeping children, realizing how comfortable this all felt. It would be so easy. Easy for what? The answer scared her.
As Maggie walked into the kitchen, Susan was just beginning to wash the dishes.
“So, am I still a guest or do I roll up my sleeves?”
“There’s not much to wash, but you can put away the cold stuff. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Maggie smiled. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve…” I’ve what? Felt relaxed, safe, cared for. These feelings disturbed Maggie and she searched for an answer. “I’ve had such a wonderful time.”
“I didn’t do anything special. Just a family weekend.”
“My family never cooked out,” Maggie said. “In fact, we rarely did anything as a family. It’s a word I don’t use when I think of my past. Unfortunately, Derek and I are always so busy we don’t usually do things like this.” We have cooks and staff, she reminded herself.
Susan sensed there was much more being unsaid. “Then I’m glad you’re here enjoying my family. And now you’re a part of it, so get busy.” Maggie’s laughter warmed her and a barrier was lowered.
“I really like your mother and your family. It’s so different from my own family growing up,” Maggie said.
“I’m lucky, and I know it. My mom and dad have always been so supportive. Dad was traditional, organized, quiet, shy. I guess more like me. And Mom is opinionated, impulsive, and outspoken. I never knew what she was going to say or do.” Maggie nodded. “Dad died four months after Cady was born. He was just as excited about her as he was his first grandchild. I really miss him.” She turned back to the sink, finishing off the last of the dishes, carefully loading the dishwasher. “At first I was panicked when I became pregnant. Being a single parent scared the stew out of me and wasn’t in my plan. Maybe that was part of the problem. I was struggling with my sexuality, my career, and being pregnant, all at the same time. I hate it when things are not organized and sorted out.” Susan smiled. “Somehow I survived.”
“I’ve always wanted children,” Maggie said. “I wanted a house, pets—the whole thing. Derek wanted to wait until we were settled. For a while, I was afraid we’d never have kids. Now my life with them is a shelter. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to them. Maybe that’s why I’m so protective. That and the fact that I want to do a better job than my own parents.” Realizing she had revealed too much, Maggie quickly changed the subject to safer topics. She talked of working through college and all-night study sessions. “I supported myself all through college. I wonder now how I survived on three to four hours a night. That and canned soup.”
Susan nodded. “My sister used to take me out for dinner twice a week. She was sure I would study my way through school and never meet anyone and probably starve.”
“My mother died at thirty-six from cancer because we couldn’t afford doctors,” Maggie said. “After that, my family gradually fell apart. We just didn’t have much keeping us together. I worry sometimes that I give my kids too much, but I don’t want them to struggle the way I did.”
“It’s hard to have balance as to when something is too much,” Susan said.
As Susan closed the dishwasher, she turned and found Maggie less than a foot away. Her pulse quickened and heat began at her throat, quickly moving up her face. They stood staring at each other for what seemed an eternity.
Maggie’s eyes traveled down to Susan’s lips. They need to be kissed, Maggie thought. I need to be kissed, she silently amended. She moved closer to see if Susan would pull away. Nothing happened. Maggie saw an echo of her own hunger in Susan’s eyes. Maggie could only think about the softness of Susan’s lips. How they would feel, how they would taste. I need to move slowly, she reminded herself. The tension between them increased until it seemed like there was an audible pounding matching the beating of their own hearts.
The doorbell rang twice before either recognized the sound. Maggie pulled away first, making some mental comment about timing. When Susan returned, she handed a package to Maggie containing the well-traveled wallet.
“Hurray for honesty.” Susan tried to lighten the moment.
Maggie stared at the leather Gucci wallet, turning it over and over in her hand. Susan’s comment made her feel uneasy. Finally looking up, she said, “I want to thank you for allowing us to enjoy your bed-and-breakfast, but I probably should rent a car and move my family to the hotel tonight.”
Susan’s heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to take a deep breath. That was nothing compared to the painful throbbing in the pit of her stomach. She watched Maggie lift and examine each item in the wallet and then replace it.
Good, Susan, your pulse is now down to a thousand beats per minute.
Maggie sat with her long, tanned legs folded under, seeming at ease within her own body. After two years in therapy, Susan was still self-conscious and inhibited. Except around Maggie. Her pulse rate was accelerating again. Maggie looked up at her, lips curving into that now familiar half-smile. Lips Susan nearly kissed.
Susan’s emotions took off again, racing like some Grand Prix of feelings. What was it about Maggie? She felt possessed…or obsessed. She ached to touch those hands. The throbbing Susan felt earlier returned and was now accompanied by a warm wetness. The raceway of emotions came to a screeching halt as Maggie’s words sank in.
On impulse Susan said, “Please stay…as long as you like, that is.”
Maggie walked over to Susan. She was close enough for Susan to feel warm breath on her cheek. Susan still wanted to kiss her.
“Susan,” Maggie spoke softly, forcing Susan to lean closer. “I don’t want to intrude. You are a very generous person.” She lightly brushed Susan’s cheek, gliding her fingers slowly into soft golden hair. Maggie took a deep breath and lowered her hand. “I don’t think you would ask me to leave even if you wanted me to. I assure you we can afford to stay anywhere we want.”
“I want you…” The words were out and never passed through any gray matter for filtering. Susan hesitated, realizing she was in trouble. “To stay.”
Susan imagined hearing Maggie’s breathing. Maybe it was just her own lungs struggling to find the right mixture of chemicals to clear the cobwebs from her shrouded brain.
“Susan, you are amazing.” Maggie leaned forward only inches, but enough to softly and briefly kiss Susan.
Her lips were like warm snowflakes. Only there briefly. Susan leaned in to claim more than a brief touch.
“My, you are persuasive.” Maggie laughed.
Panicked by her own behavior, Susan pulled away. “Maggie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. Please forgive me. I’m not trying to make a pass. I’ve never done anything like that before. I am so sorry.”
Maggie placed her fingers on Susan’s lips, silencing them. “Don’t apologize. Come on, it’s really okay, and I started it. We’re both adults. Let’s get the kids up.”
Susan stood numb and watched Maggie walk toward the back of the house. Her imagination kicked into overdrive. If I’m not crazy, then the rest of the world is. Oh, shit! She reviewed all the food and beverages consumed in the last twenty-four hours, hoping some rare form of food poisoning caused her strange behavior. Not finding any consolation, or logic, in her diet, she decided work would occupy her mind until control took over. She headed for the kitchen, called her mother, and began cleaning the now spotless counters. She quickly sat and put her head down on the table.
“Susan, what’s the matter?” Her mother stood over her.
“Mom, I’m okay. I think I’m just a little tired.” If her diet had not been the problem, then Susan grasped at sleep deprivation. Eventually, she felt more in control.
The kitchen again filled with laughter and chatter. Watching Maggie, her kids, Cady, and her mom, Susan felt complete.
*
On Monday, after Susan left for work, Maureen, Maggie, and the three children played tourists around central Florida. First they visited Sea World. “I love watching the whales and the dolphins best of all,” Maureen said. “I know most people head out to Disney or Universal Studios. I prefer the water.”
“Sea World it is,” Maggie said as she herded the kids into the waiting minivan. Susan had driven her mother’s Chrysler New Yorker into work, leaving the larger vehicle behind. “You direct and I’ll drive.” At that hour there were no long lines. Maggie, dressed in jeans and a Florida State University T-shirt she borrowed from Susan, twice was asked for an autograph.
Maggie readily agreed but added, “I’m here with my family and we’d like to enjoy today uninterrupted. No pictures, please.” Maggie caught Maureen staring but she didn’t ask any questions.
As they continued to wander around, a large group of teenagers began to follow Maggie. Soon a small crowd had gathered, pressing closer to the group. Concerned about the continued safety of the children, Maggie was apologetic but again requested to be left alone. “I’m sorry. Would you mind if we left?”
Maureen shook her head. “Are there any police looking for you?”
Maggie laughed. “I hope not. At least not yet. Why?”
“I wanted to make sure you weren’t wanted for some crime. I don’t want Susan getting in trouble.”
“Neither do I, Maureen. Neither do I. I just thought it might be a good time to leave, before the traffic picks up.” Placing her body between the crowd and the children, Maggie moved toward the exit.
Soon they were on the road headed for home. “I hope I didn’t ruin your day, with our leaving early,” Maggie said.
“Nonsense,” Maureen said. “I get to go here whenever I want. I hope you had a good time. Especially with the interruptions.”
Maggie knew Susan’s mother was fishing for information. In spite of the welcome Susan and her family had provided, she was not yet ready to reveal too much personal information.
That evening, Sea World was the main topic of conversation. “Thank you for taking my family,” Susan said. “Let me reimburse you for their tickets.”
“Nonsense. The tickets weren’t as expensive as a hotel room.” Maggie was adamant. “How was work?”
“Typical Monday. I honestly think film executives spend weekends creating crises and spending money.”
Maggie was suddenly much more alert. Films? I thought she was an accountant.
“We’re backing a film project a group of students from the University of Central Florida are creating. Apparently, one of the students crawled up a tree to shoot a scene.” She looked at Maggie. “Well, guess what? All that weight, and the kid and camera fell out of the tree.” Interpreting the look on Maggie’s face as concern, she explained. “The student ended up in the hospital. He’s okay but the camera is in pieces. The university is afraid the kid’s family will sue, and now they’re short a production camera. Since we provided the financial backing, UCF’s attorney called us to check on our liability.”
Maggie tried to remain calm. “You’re involved with filmmaking?”
“I’m not. My company finances a variety of media projects. I review, audit, and negotiate. My boss usually does most of the up-front work, especially the big projects. I’m just the bean counter that keeps everyone under budget.”
“You don’t look like a bean counter,” Maggie said. “Do you work with just independent productions? Is that what you do? Work in the entertainment field?”
“My boss Ed worked in California with the film industry. He was put in charge of an office in Florida when Disney opened and then he decided to go on his own. Ed persuaded me to come to work for him. Now I’m his CFO.”
Stretching her legs out, Susan changed her position on the couch so that she could see Maggie easier. “I don’t know why he picked me. He laughs and teases me about my complete ignorance of most entertainers.”
“You must be really good at what you do, then.”
“I’m organized and driven. Ed is not. He’s the people pleaser. I’m the people killer.”
Maggie relaxed. “And you definitely are organized. Why are you called the people killer?”
Susan was pleased that Maggie hadn’t looked bored during their discussion and hadn’t yet said “how nice.” “Because I’ve got to tell people they can’t get everything they want, or that money was spent inappropriately. Most of the time it ends up in arguing.”
“And who wins?”
“The person who controls the purse.”
*
While Maggie, her mother, and the kids enjoyed the week, Susan struggled at work. By Thursday, she’d had enough. “Damn it, Bruce, there is nothing in the proposal or contract that allows any member of the filming crew to climb a tree. I’ve talked to our lawyers and they’re behind us. Tell the family we’ll see them in court.”
Bruce Ringer, a local attorney representing the student’s family, urged Susan to reconsider. “It will be a lot less expensive to settle out of court.”
“Bruce, the answer is no. We’ll have P.I.’s checking every activity this kid was involved in. It’s your choice.”
“Damn you, Susan, you’re—”
“Sorry, gotta run. If you have any other questions, speak to our attorneys.” She hung up. “What a pain.”
Susan looked at the computer in front of her. “I’ve had enough for today.” She shut it down and headed for home. She was enjoying having Maggie and the kid
s around.
By Saturday, Susan was ready for non-work time. Her mother suggested a visit to Church Street Station, the downtown Orlando attraction. Maggie was as curious and noisy as the kids, quickly moving from one shop to another, picking up and trying various gifts, toys, and unusual objects.
“Let’s go to the Mercantile, Susan. They can play some games and we can all get something to eat,” her mother said.
Maggie immediately wandered over to the game area. “I like this one,” Susan said pointing to an arcade game nearby. “It’s called Bop the Gator. That’s an appropriate activity for an FSU grad.”
A questioning expression and a head tilt was Maggie’s response.
“Florida State and the University of Florida are rivals. Florida’s mascot is an alligator.”
“Ah, so you liked smashing the gator with that toy hammer.” Maggie grinned. “Want to try? How about a little one-on-one?”
A small crowd began to surround the loud group. A pulsing light from a camera drew Maggie’s immediate attention and she turned away before the camera snapped. “Come on, let’s go,” Maggie said, grabbing her children by their hands.
“What’s wrong?” Susan asked.
“I’m tired. Let’s go home.”
*
Maggie paced the family room as she waited for Susan to return from running a few errands after their aborted afternoon outing. After nine years she still had the urge to smoke. Instead, she sipped her wine and tried to sort through her feelings. She had no doubts about the attraction to Susan. After all, it had been years since she had been sexually involved with anyone.
These new feelings, however, were unsettling. Keep things light. Have fun, move on. Maybe I’m just horny. The sweet gentleness of Susan’s lips. The music in her laughter. The warmth in her voice. Holding the glass up to the light, she watched as sweat formed on the outside of the glass and slowly began to run down the sides. She stroked the sides of the glass. Learn to be a friend, she told herself. It could be a good experience. She put the glass down.