I was frozen to the spot, my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth from his command. I was fuming on the inside. No, scrap that. I was bloody raging. I was a mouse in the claws of a cat. My worst fears were being realised. Coming under Ulvic's command again was akin to having my eyes gouged out with a rusty spoon. In fact, I reckoned I would have taken the spoon-gouging over this. Because I was once again at his mercy. He could command me to lift a gun to my head and pull the trigger if he fancied it.
Ulvic moved past me, shutting the door, sighing as he circled back to stand in front of me. He gazed over my body, seeming to assess me, probably checking if his pet was still in good shape.
“I didn't want to do this.”
Then why did you? I wished I could say. Instead, I stood stock-still, grinding my teeth to dust. The sad thing was, I was physically strong enough to tear his head off with my bare hands. But under his command, I was as harmless as a newborn puppy.
“Things have not gone well for our relationship lately,” Ulvic said, sounding apologetic. “I understand that you're angry with me. You have every right to be. Frankly, I'm angry with myself, but Jameson...” He stepped toward me, resting his non-butchered hand flat on my chest. Right on my heart. Might as well have tattooed 'property of Ulvic' there while he was at it.
“We need to start getting the pack back in order.” He gazed around the room, tutting. “It's probably too much to hope that you've been spending time with Nadine in here?”
I glared at him – which was all I could do anyway.
“You may speak, but only in a whisper,” Ulvic said and my throat relaxed a touch.
“One day I'm going to rip out your commanding little tongue and stuff it down your throat until you choke on it,” I whispered.
Ulvic rolled his eyes. “Enough of this. We'll be leaving in the morning. We need to at least be civil to each other.”
“I agree with that one thing. We will be leaving in the morning.”
“Good,” Ulvic snipped. “And Nadine will come with us. It's time you pair-bonded with her now. She may not be of Alpha quality yet, but in time...”
“No,” I snarled, panic flitting through me. I tried to explain it in terms that might get through to Ulvic. “I've found my mate. And she isn't Nadine.”
Werewolf mates were like magnets to each other; it was one of the greatest powers of our species. That was how I felt about Cass so what I'd said had to be true. Not that she was a Werewolf, but still...
Ulvic pointed a finger at my face. He sure wasn't a coward when he had the upper hand. “We both know you're above settling down with a girl. Whatever poor creature you've been giving the run around in this place, is better off away from you.”
“Then why do you think things will be different with me and Nadine if you know me so damn well?” I hissed.
“Because-” He straightened his spine. “I command it, Jameson. You will make every effort to pair with her. You will not make advances on any other girl but her.”
Ice cascaded spectacularly down my spine. He couldn't do this. Not now. Not when Cass and I had just gotten our shit together.
“You won't keep us apart. I'll find a loophole, I'll be with Cass, whatever it takes.”
He stilled, his eyes growing cold. “Cass? The Vampire?” His upper lip curled back in disgust. “Please tell me my Alpha has not been screwing that – that – parasite?”
Every muscle in my body strained against his hold. A weight pressed down on my chest like I was lying under a car. “Don't you dare talk about her like that,” I growled.
Ulvic backed away from me, gazing around the room, looking ready to be sick. “I've had enough of this, Jameson. I have put up with every whim, every god-damn fancy you've had the entire time I've known you. But this...this is too far. Are you trying to insult me?”
“You think I give a shit about insulting you? I want my life back, you bastard. You have no right to control me.” I wanted to shout, scream, rip down the curtains and strangle Ulvic with them, but I had to bloody whisper. Like a chump. Doing exactly as he wanted.
Ulvic drew himself up to his fullest height.“I command you, Jameson Fairfax, never to touch, never to kiss, never to screw that disgusting Vampire ever again. So long as you live. And if she asks you why you don't want her anymore you will tell her that you wish to be with Nadine. That you have always wanted Nadine. In fact, you will tell her whatever you have to to make her believe you. And you may never speak of the command you are under.”
The air was sucked out my lungs. My heart crashed into my throat.
“No – wait – wait,” I begged. “You can't do this.”
I was normally above begging. But not now. Not today. Not over this. “Ulvic, I'll do what you want. I'll get the pack back together. But don't do this to me. You can have me, but not my heart. Not my fucking soul.”
“You'll do as I say.” He moved toward the door, glancing back at me before leaving, his chin held high in defiance. He opened the door, muttering, “You can move, but stay in this room until tomorrow. We leave first thing. And we never had this conversation so far as anyone else knows.”
The door clicked shut and I snapped around, grabbing the door handle. I ground my teeth as I tried to force my way past his command.
Come on. You can do this. Just open the door and walk through it.
I opened the door, gazing into the dark hallway. I sidled up to the edge of the frame, groaning as I fought against my rigid muscles.
“Goddammit,” I tried to shout, but it only came out as a pathetic whisper.
Slamming the door instead, I bashed my head against it, slumping down to the floor.
Cass...oh god. Don't hate me for what I'm going to do.
Cass
Perimeter duty was peaceful. I stood on the sandy beach, gazing out at the rippling bay. The moon was blanketed in clouds, occasionally peeking through and glimmering down on the water. My heart had been dancing and fluttering in my chest ever since I'd left Jameson. My fears rose to the surface occasionally, that I'd made a mistake. That perhaps I shouldn't have given myself to him. But God, was it hard to regret. I could still feel his kisses on my skin like they were branded on me. This had to be the real thing. It had to be.
But a little voice in the back of my mind whispered, he got what he wanted, why would he bother with you now?
“Hey, fancy a break?” a voice caught my ear, saving me from facing that worry.
I spotted Kodiak strolling toward me across the beach, two bottles of blood clamped in his hand. He passed one to me and I took it with a smile, even though I didn't need blood since my recent feed from Jameson. I plucked out the cork and sipped it, the metallic tang caressing my senses like nectar. Luckily for us, blood was easily available at The Sanctuary. The Vs guarded the place and the humans who lived there offered blood donations in return. Without it, we'd soon descend into mindless monsters, hunting humans down without a conscience. It was a terrifying fact and one I never wanted to experience.
Kodiak dropped down onto a large piece of driftwood resting on the sand. I followed suit, calm washing over me. Everything was perfect tonight. From the whispering wind in the trees, to the little blossom buds readying for spring, the gentle lap of waves against the shore. And Jameson. Most of all him. Us.
Strange really. How hard it had been for me to let someone in, but how easy it had felt today.
I often spent time with Kodiak, but he never said much. He was more of an observer than a participator. But we'd grown close somehow. His company was never awkward; I could talk his ear off or sit in silence and neither felt less comfortable.
After a while, Kodiak broke the quiet. “I never did tell you how grateful I am for what you did on Øyafrelse. All of you...” He gazed at me, his eyes as deep blue as the night sky. “And I'm sorry for not accompanying you on that mission.”
“You don't need to apologise, Kodiak. There was no point in everyone heading back into danger.”
He nodded,
shifting his feet in the sand. He cleared his throat before saying, “John. That's my name. Kodiak is my surname, but you're welcome to keep calling me that. I'm quite used to it. I just thought you should know...”
My brows lifted. “Oh,” I said in surprise. It occurred to me that I knew very little about him in general. “How did you end up as the Helsings' captive?”
Kodiak dropped his head back, gazing up at the stars. “I'm from Alaska originally.”
I nodded. He had an accent, but it was subtle. “I would have guessed Canada.”
He shot me a glare. “No.”
I broke a laugh and he grinned.
“I was a US soldier once. Did you know, while the Germans were invading the rest of the world, the Japanese tried to take over Alaskan territory?”
I shook my head guiltily. “I wasn't the best listener at school.”
“Doubt they would have taught you about that battle anyway.” He scooped up a little shell from the sand and threw it out into the water, sending ripples across the bay. “I was sent home after a bullet hit me in the back. Paralysed me from the neck down. Couldn't even speak.” He shuddered. “Spent the rest of my human life in a chair, watching my wife mourn me...”
“How did you turn into a V?” I asked softly, eyeing his rigid body.
He looked away, shifting. “Maybe that's a story for another day...” He stood, flattening down the non-existent creases of his shirt. “I better get back to my post.”
“Sure,” I said quietly, giving him a small smile as he headed away, leaving footprints in the sand.
There was a sadness about him that had dissolved my happy demeanour. When the sky began to pale, I headed back to the manor, thinking of tomorrow. And how I'd have to say goodbye to Jameson. For god only knew how long.
*★*
Early in the morning, I headed to Jameson's room, ready to face Ulvic with him. I was feeling a little flushed by the time I reached his door. Very unlike me. But oddly, it felt good.
I knocked, adjusting the collar of the black shirt dress I was wearing. All I'd worn for weeks on end were things I'd been told to wear, so it was nice to feel myself at long last. To have a choice in my outfit.
The door didn't immediately open, but I'd figured Jameson would still be sleeping.
I knocked again, considering coming back later, but the door jerked open and I came face to face with him. His chest was bare, his expression was impassive.
“Morning,” I said, waiting for him to make some sort of move. A kiss? A hug? He did neither.
My heart twitched uncomfortably.
“Hi.” He smiled briefly, opening the door wider to let me in and I relaxed.
“So, do you want to go and see Ulvic?”
“Want is a strong word,” he muttered, heading to his wardrobe and pulling on a shirt.
I waited, feeling slightly unsure of myself. I didn't like it. Why was he acting off?
“Are you alright?” I asked, stepping closer to him. I reached out, my fingers grazing his spine. He stilled under my touch, his muscles flexing beneath my palm.
He turned and his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. “I'm fine, Firefly. How was perimeter duty?”
He gestured for me to exit the room and I headed out the door with him following closely, but not quite touching.
“Good. Kodiak kept me company.”
“Uhuh...” Jameson halted beside me and I turned to him, brows raised. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. An awful, twisting, slithering feeling.
“Look, Cass, I need to tell you something. I don't know how to...but...” He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, looking tortured.
“What is it?” I took an instinctive step backwards.
“Something happened,” he mumbled, looking like he was struggling to find the words.
“Okay...” I said warily. “Like?”
“Well I can't really say...” He rubbed the back of his neck, his brows knitting together.
I reached out to him, sliding my hands over his shoulders. He didn't move. Didn't touch me back. But I kept moving, hoping he might relax. He'd always been so forward with me, so I didn't feel uncomfortable doing the same. “You can tell me anything,” I urged.
“Not this,” he sighed and I searched his bronze eyes for what he was hiding.
“Is this about us?” I aired my concerns.
“Hmm...”
His breath washed over me. His eyes dropped to my mouth, a longing in them that surely meant one thing. I moved to kiss him. He turned his cheek at the last second and I stiffened sharply, electricity coursing up and down my spine. I stepped away, shame washing through me.
What. The. Hell?
I released a steady breath. My heart bolted its doors and an alarm went off in my head.
“You wanted to see me?” Ulvic stepped into the room with Nadine at his side, his trench coat in place and a duffel bag in his hand. Nadine glanced between him and Jameson, chewing her lip.
“Yeah, just making sure you're still onboard for saving Mekiah and Reason,” Jameson said.
“Of course I am,” Ulvic replied.
Jameson cleared his throat, moving toward Nadine. He dropped his head, kissing her on the cheek in greeting. She looked as surprised as I felt as his arm slid casually around her waist.
Ulvic looked at me, smiling, brows raised. “Everything alright?”
“Yes, fine,” I said, composing myself. I sounded cool, content. Like nothing in the world was bothering me. But holy hell, it was.
I was rooted to the spot. But confused as I was, I couldn't leave Jameson with Ulvic. Both he and Nadine were vulnerable to his command. And I was perhaps the only thing at that moment stopping Ulvic from giving them orders.
Besides, perhaps I was reading this all wrong. Jameson was bound to be feeling upset this morning, having to meet with Ulvic.
“So when do we leave?” Jameson asked Ulvic, his lips hardly moving.
“Brendan kindly gave us permission to borrow a boat before he left,” Ulvic said. “The plane's nearly out of fuel so we're better off travelling by sea.”
“And where does your father live exactly?” I asked.
Ulvic's nose wrinkled ever-so-slightly as he addressed me, “No doubt the one thing keeping me alive right now is that I am the only person who knows the whereabouts of my father. So I won't be divulging that detail to you, or anyone else for that matter.”
My fingers flexed with the urge to hurt him. What I'd give to snap this man's neck...
“So get your things.” Ulvic wafted a hand at Jameson and Nadine.
Nadine hurried down the corridor in the direction of her room and Jameson headed back to my side.
“Someone should go with you,” I said in a low tone. “Who's going to stop him ordering you about the second you walk out the front door?”
“It's taken care of,” he muttered, heading past me into his bedroom.
I followed, my anger beginning to rise. “What's that supposed to mean?” I shut the door behind me, stealing us a moment of privacy.
“Mercy's coming with us,” he said. “She's got a gun and decent aim. She's unhappy here and she prefers me to Ulvic so...” He shrugged, heading to the wardrobe, taking out a backpack and stuffing it with clothes. He was avoiding my eye and I was getting sick of it.
“Okay...so that's it? No goodbye?”
He didn't answer, violently stuffing his bag. After nearly a minute of silence, my rage spilled over.
“Look at me!”
He dropped the bag, turning to face me.
“What's going on with you?” I moved a hesitant step closer.
“Don't ask me.” He shook his head, his brows drawn together, but I couldn't stop.
“Yesterday you're promising me you want us to be together forever, and today you won't even look me in the eye. What's going on?”
I hoped he'd argue, to swear he'd been telling the truth. But when he spoke, he confirmed all the fears I'd ever had about him.
“Yesterday was a one time thing, Cass.” He took several breaths before continuing. “You know I always wanted a night with you. You were a challenge.” He took another breath. “We had some fun...that's all.”
I froze in place as a knife twisted viciously into my heart.
I turned away, cupping a hand to my mouth.
Stupid. Stupid idiot. How could you let him get into your head?
“I'm with Nadine. We're pair-bonded, Cass. That's how it works for Werewolves...she's who I'm supposed to be with. She's my mate. I should have told you before, but...well...”
Jameson was behind me, his breath washing over my neck. I turned, slapping him in the same movement. His head wheeled sideways, but apart from that, he didn't react. Didn't shout, didn't ask for forgiveness. Nothing. Which meant he didn't give a damn about hurting me.
“You're sick in the head,” I hissed. “You know that?”
He didn't answer, just gazed at me.
“You can't treat women like they're conquests. You think it makes you cool? Because it doesn't, it makes you pathetic.”
He nodded, his eyes growing murky. Still, he said nothing. Which only angered me further.
“And I'm not just some girl you screwed, I'm supposed to be your friend. But that clearly doesn't mean anything to you either, does it?”
“It does,” he croaked.
I tutted, looking him up and down, disgusted with him, with myself. I strode from the room, slamming the door behind me.
Ulvic was in the hallway, leaning casually against the wall. “Are you alright?” he asked.
I stalked past him, not bothering to answer.
Ever since my ex had cheated on me and stomped on my heart, I had never once let a guy get close enough to hurt me. And worst of all, I'd known what Jameson was like. And now I was just another notch in his belt.
His words echoed in my head, slicing open my heart once more.
You were a challenge.
I clawed a hand through my hair, taking off at high speed toward the west wing. There was no one to turn to. I needed Selena. And, God, I needed my heart to stop hurting.
Wolf Games (The Vampire Games Book 4) Page 4