A writhing feeling filled my stomach and I lurched forward, throwing up on the floor at Rakefield's feet. Bile rose into my nose and my eyes stung as I retched again.
“Oh dear...” Rakefield started mopping up the red-coloured sick consisting of blood and cornflakes.
“Thank you,” I said in a heavy voice, my neck growing hot.
When she was done cleaning up my mess, she washed her hands and planted them on her hips. “You're going to have to start taking better care of yourself.”
“I didn't choose to be nearly killed in an explosion,” I huffed.
“I didn't mean that,” she said, folding her arms. “If that sickness persists, you'll need to drink a lot water. And don't skip meals, even if you don't have much of an appetite.”
I sighed, dropping off of the bed onto my feet. “Done.”
Her expression softened, a smile lighting her eyes. “Your pregnancy is moving along fast.”
“How long before I have a bump?” I gazed down at my still-flat belly.
“In a couple of months, I imagine. If you continue to follow the pattern of a Werewolf pregnancy.”
I nodded, heading toward the door. The guard had waited outside for me, reminding me that I was a prisoner here. I sighed, letting him guide me back to my room, vaguely wondering if he'd heard me throw-up.
Silas was pacing outside the room and marched over the second he spotted me. “I told you to take her back here!” he shouted at the guard.
“She was hurt apparently,” he explained.
Silas's anger melted to fear as he turned his gaze to me, running over my body, hunting for the injury.
“Your assets are fine,” I said dryly, rolling my eyes as I stepped into the cabin.
My anger toward him spilled over. Perhaps it was the fact I'd just been reminded I was a prisoner, or maybe it was that my baby and I could have died for a cause that had absolutely nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Silas.
It took me a moment to realise Silas had followed me into the room, quietly watching me, looking uncertain of what to say.
“It seems the explosion has only caused some superficial damage to the ship,” was what he settled on.
Anger flared inside me and I grabbed the nearest object – a lamp – and launched it at him.
He ducked and it smashed against the door. He raised his palms, trying to placate me, but that only made my fury rise. The heat in my veins grew out of control until my pulse pounded loudly in my ears.
“I don't care about your ship, Silas! The only thing I care about is getting off it!”
“I can't let you go...” He took a measured step closer. “My father would-”
“Your father? Where is your father? I haven't met him. If he cares so much about keeping me here, why doesn't he come and explain that to me himself!”
“I told you, he's at another institute. You'll meet him one day.”
“One day?” I echoed, reaching for something else to throw. “When will that be exactly? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month?” I caught hold of the gold clock on the mantelpiece, lobbing it at him.
Silas darted sideways and it hit the wall with a loud thud, ripping a hole in the hideous wallpaper.
“Look, you can keep throwing things at me all you like, but-” I threw a vase at him and he ducked so it smashed into the wall. “-but, it's not going to change anything.” I ran out of heavy things within reach and settled on tossing pillows at him instead. Several hit him in the face, but he simply waited out my temper with a patient look.
When my anger finally subsided, my hands fell at my sides.
“Done?” he asked, a sideways grin growing on his face.
“No,” I murmured weakly.
Silas crept toward me, his smile growing, keeping his hands raised. “Truce?”
I sighed, folding my arms as he approached. “Don't you have a fire to be dealing with?”
“It's under control.” His smile fell. “Though I lost a few good men in that blast.” His eyes grew shadowed and I felt the stress weighing on him.
“Do you know who's targeting you?” I asked, just for something to say. I wasn't sure I really cared.
His brow creased. “No idea. Maybe an activist...I don't know.” He rubbed his forehead. “Only a handful of people even know about the Immortal world. I can't imagine who'd be targeting us. They clearly have the resources to stage an attack like that, which makes me worry about what else they're capable of...”
I frowned, having no answer to offer, but something in his gaze told me I should be concerned.
“I'm sorry I put you in danger,” Silas said softly, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets.
“That's rich, coming from the man who kidnaps and butchers people for a living.”
Silas's jaw ticked. “I'm trying my best here.”
“Yeah? Well your best is set at a pretty low bar.”
Silas's shoulders slumped. “So maybe I don't always like what I do, Firefly. But it's important work. Sacrifices have to be made. One day, this won't be necessary anymore. Once we have the information we need, we won't need to experiment on Immortals anymore.”
I turned my back on him, taking in a rattling breath. “It's not good enough. You've hurt so many people, killed them...”
“I know...and it's not like I don't regret it. Every day I try to reduce the losses. We don't have the mortality rate we used to. Not even close. I know it's hard for you to understand...but I'd take back all those deaths if I could. In a heartbeat.”
It struck me suddenly how hypocritical I was being. I'd burned down a whole building with families inside. I'd killed so many innocent people in that blaze because of a cause much shallower than Silas's.
A ball bobbed in my throat. I couldn't stand the thought that Silas and I had that in common. But it was hard to deny.
Silence reigned for so long that I almost glanced over my shoulder to check he hadn't left the room.
“I'll talk to my father about when you can leave,” Silas said. “But his word is the law around here, Firefly. What he says, goes.”
I pursed my lips. “Okay Silas,” I said, my tone dismissive. I didn't believe a damn word he said.
The door clicked shut a moment later and I bit down hard on my tongue.
As soon as I got another chance, I was going to find a way off this ship. But I needed to locate the other Immortals first, so when the time came, we could escape together.
*★*
The days began to merge and another week passed by. Silas took me to my trials and stayed with me whilst I was assessed, giving me no time to explore the ship.
Today, I'd planned a conversation in my mind during the morning assessments, one I wanted to have with Silas. But I feared having it too.
After lunch, we headed onto the deck. We were quickly falling into the routine. Silas liked to watch the waves and I liked the warmth of the sun. It was the perfect time to air my thoughts, but I struggled to find a way to start.
Near the front of the ship, we sat side by side on a metal bench overlooking the sea. A large, triangular helipad sat between the tapering railings, but no helicopters were present. So that wasn't the way off.
I tasted a thousand things on my tongue and felt a hundred sensations on my skin. Shutting my eyes, I relished some of the humanity which had been returned to me. Being a Hybrid was miles better than being a V. But I still wouldn't be thanking Silas any time soon for what it had cost me.
The conversation I wanted to have ran circles in my mind. I cleared my throat to get his attention which he gave to me easily, as always. “I've been thinking...about what you told me. About why you do what you do here at IDAHO.”
“Oh?” he questioned, his brows raising.
I flipped my eyes to the bright blue sea, finding it easier to speak without looking at him. “I judged you,” I said, guilt niggling its way into my chest. “But I've done things which are arguably worse than you have.”
I could f
eel his eyes drilling into me as he soaked up every word. “That's hard to believe...”
“Well it's true,” I said. “And I still don't forgive you. But I've never forgiven myself either. So...I wanted to ask you something...”
“Anything,” he said easily.
I cleared my throat. “I want to know if you've found a way to make peace with it.” I turned to him. He always seemed so composed, like nothing in the world haunted him, even in his dreams. Perhaps I shouldn't have longed for such peace. I didn't deserve it after all I'd done. But I craved it. And it seemed he had some secret that I had to get my hands on.
He considered me a moment and I felt a connection growing between us. One I feared with all my heart. Tentatively, he reached out and laid a hand on my arm. I didn't recoil, as I had every day since I'd arrived here. But I had to hear what he was going to say.
“I don't know what it is you've done, Firefly. But I'm afraid the honest truth is, the guilt never goes away. You'll always have regrets, like I do. Because if you didn't, if you forgot about it...we wouldn't be decent people. And as much as I'd like to change some of the things I've done, I still hope I'm not beyond redeeming myself. And you're not either.”
I nodded, pain blooming in my chest. I tried to swallow it down, but Silas gripped my arm tighter. And I hated myself for letting him. And hated myself even more so for the fact it comforted me, knowing he felt this way too.
*★*
“When will I see my friends?” I asked the question every day. And Silas always gave me the same response: “When my father lets me have my way”.
But today, he said something different. “Tonight.” He turned to me, catching a lock of hair as it danced in the wind. We were sitting up on deck again, in our usual spot. We'd grown closer as time passed. It was now over a month since I'd arrived at IDAHO and as much as I'd tried to keep him at a distance, I began finding comfort in talking to Silas about my past. He listened with complete attentiveness, and always gave responses that made me feel better. Or at least let me know that he understood my pain.
He tucked the lock of hair behind my ear. He rarely touched me and I usually shrugged him off, but today I actually wanted him to.
Silas's mouth fell into a flat line. “I should have told you this sooner...” He bowed his head as guilt flashed across his features.
“Told me what?” I sat back in my seat, suddenly wary.
“My father likes to put on a little display for our investors. They'll be arriving this afternoon. The event will only last one night-”
“Event?” I was on my feet in a heartbeat, glaring down at him as images of the V Games were conjured from my past. “What event?”
“Sorry, I should have chosen my words better.” Silas followed me to my feet, reaching out to take my wrist. I took a step back and my heartbeat quickened to a furious pace.
“I should have said the trial,” Silas hurried on. “It's nothing you won't be able to handle. Especially with your new abilities. It's a simple way of showing the investors what they're paying for.”
He reached for me again but I made sure he didn't get a hand on me. “What does this test involve?”
“I can't really say, it would give you an advantage and I'm not supposed to interfere with your performance,” he said, dropping his arms to his sides.
“Well I'm not doing it.”
“Please, Firefly-”
“Don't!” I snapped, irrationally angry at him for using that name, even though I'd been the one to give it to him. But now it seemed wrong. It didn't belong on his lips. A flash of the man it did belong to sprang to my mind and I tried to will the image away.
Silas's tone became dark. “I'm sorry, but my father will ensure you participate. Whether you're willing or not.”
I stepped past him, moving to the railing and wrapping my hands around it. The sun glared down on me, too bright, too vivid. I didn't want this Hybrid form if I wasn't free. I would have taken back my Vampire life in a second, living in The Sanctuary. I'd been safe. But then I remembered the way Jameson had looked at me the morning after I'd given myself to him. Tears threatened themselves and I swallowed hard, forcing them back.
Keep it together.
No one ever saw me cry. And I certainly wasn't going to break that vow again for Silas.
His voice sounded just over my shoulder. “I'll be with you every step of the way. You'll do just fine.”
“Why didn't you tell me this sooner?” I hissed.
“Because of this...I thought you'd push me away and-” He halted mid-sentence, clearing his throat.
“And?” I breathed.
“And I enjoy spending time with you,” he said gently, the admission full of candor.
“You're the son of the man who put me here,” I accused, almost a snarl.
“I know.”
“And you're as much my captor as he is.”
“I know,” he whispered and my heart softened a little from the apology in his voice.
I turned, facing him. Something tugged in my heart, drawing me closer to him.
“I can't change what's happened,” Silas said. “But I can help you get through tonight. Even if you hate me for it.”
A low thrumming filled the air and I shielded my eyes as I scanned the sky, spotting a helicopter zooming toward us.
Silas followed my line of sight. “Go back to your room,” he ordered, his tone suddenly sharp.
I planted my feet as wind rushed over me and my hair was dragged backwards as the helicopter circled, coming to land on the helipad with grace. Several men in balaclavas poured onto the deck, heading toward it.
“Now,” Silas barked at me, his eyes like fire.
I headed away, taking my time as I passed a stream of guards moving in the opposite direction to me. As I reached a faded wooden door that led inside, I paused, glancing over my shoulder.
The helicopter reminded me of a hornet, long and dark brown with a yellow stripe splashed across its side. As the blades slowed, a door slid open and two armed guards stepped out, followed closely by a man who froze the blood in my veins. His ebony dreadlocks were braided down his spine, his elaborate silver shirt was gaping open in the middle, revealing the words King of Death tattooed across his chest. His Caribbean skin was gleaming and dark; his face had the youthful sharpness of a model. He'd also been the Hunter who owned the death resort where my friends and I had taken a stand against the V Games. I'd burned half of his resort to the ground. But he'd still gotten away and here he was, looking like that attack had made little to no impact on him.
I clung to the door frame, not moving an inch as I watched Silas jog toward Rockley Jones and the group of well-dressed people following him out of the helicopter.
Silas extended his hand, but Rockley grabbed his shoulders instead, placing a kiss on both of his cheeks. They looked familiar with each other. Friendly. And I wondered if I'd been a complete fool in trusting Silas at all.
I slipped into the corridor, heading along it as fast as I could, heat pumping through my veins. I wasn't going back to my room. I was going to find my friends. And we were going to get the hell off of this ship before we had to get anywhere near the 'King of Death'.
I sped into a stairwell, not knowing where to start. I never saw anyone in the labs other than nurses and scientists. But so far, I'd pretty much spent my time in the front end of ship. That left about four football pitch-sized lengths of it left to explore. I had to start somewhere, so ran down a stairwell, taking them two at a time. The lower levels were less used, probably because of the state they were in. So I might've had a better chance of travelling through the ship undetected.
When I reached the lower levels where mould clung to the walls and a dripping noise sounded from the corridor ahead, I checked a map on the wall. It was stained yellow with age, but the signage was clear.
There were three sections of passenger cabins: one in the front of the ship where I was staying, a smaller section in the middle and the l
argest at the back. Between the middle and back sections was a mall with restaurants, shops and casinos. Below that, was an enormous dining hall, evidently where evening events used to be held.
From the amount of Immortals Silas had hinted at being onboard, I hazarded a guess that most of them were being housed in the back section of the ship. I headed that way, flying down the dark corridor, using my heightened eyesight to guide the way forward. Though it wasn't perfect, I could see well enough, and continued moving, jogging past old, rusted doors and dark stairwells.
I entered a disused kitchen which smelt of rot. Weaving through the metal work benches, I kept my eyes pinned on the open door across the room. My foot hooked on a metal pan and it clanged loudly as it skittered across the floor. The clanging noise chased away the heat in my veins, leaving an icy trail down my spine.
“Stupid,” I muttered, quickening my pace as I headed out of the kitchen into another corridor. I picked up my speed, pushing my muscles to their limits. It surprised me when I needed to catch my breath, but at last I'd arrived in the far end of the ship. I entered the first stairwell I found, wanting to get out of the dank corridors.
Light bulbs flickered around me as I ran up two flights, not stopping until I reached a level which was more obviously used. Before I could step out into the corridor, a guard entered the stairway, his eyes meeting mine beneath his balaclava.
“Freeze,” I demanded, using my Vampire Charm to halt him.
He didn't stop, lunging at me and grabbing my arm.
I cursed loudly, stumbling as he took hold of me. I've lost the ability.
He tried to shout out and I threw my fist into his face to stop him.
He crashed back into the wall, reaching for his mask. He whipped it off and I immediately shut my eyes. If I saw his face, I'd fall in love with him and be disarmed. So I'd have to fight blind.
Using my heightened hearing, I ran at him, throwing another punch into his gut. He wheezed from the blow. Evidently he wasn't used to fighting. He probably never had to, considering a Siren's exposed face was their best weapon.
“Look at me,” he growled, taking hold of my throat.
Wolf Games (The Vampire Games Book 4) Page 17