Our Boys

by Trina Solet

  Diego took hold of his hand. "He'll remember what you remember. Your memories will become his."

  "I hope I can do her justice. My aunt was an amazing person, without equal," Trevor stated emphatically and looked into Diego's eyes like he wanted to make him understand how much his aunt meant to him. Catching himself, Trevor looked down and let go of Diego's hand. "I had it rough before I went to live with her. I don't even like to remember that time. She gave me a home, a good life."

  "And now you're doing that for her son," Diego said.

  "I just wish things were simpler. At first I thought that everything was going to be settled, but then..."

  "Is there a problem?" Diego didn't want to pry. He would leave it up to Trevor to tell him whatever he felt like talking about.

  "Nothing would make me happier than taking care of Zane," Trevor said but then he looked gloomy. "But my dad and his wife might get in the way."

  "Do they want him too?"

  "I don't think they do. Not really. They just don't want me to have him. It's mostly my stepmother. The only reason she wants Zane is so she can take him away from me and my evil, gay influence," Trevor said and let out a shaky sigh.

  "Then you can't let them take him. Zane should be with someone who loves him," Diego said in a strong voice. He wanted Trevor to hear the certainty and the truth in what he said.

  "You've known me for exactly days, and your mind is made up that Zane belongs with me?" Trevor said with a rueful smile.

  "Of course. Everyone knows not to take the evil stepmother's side," he said easily. It's not like there was a chance in hell Diego was going to take anyone's side but Trevor's.

  "To give her credit, she has done some good things too. She got my father off drugs, and I didn't think that was even possible. He was so far gone. But now she's the reason I might lose Zane. My dad wouldn't go for custody if it wasn't for her." Trevor looked so upset. "I don't want my dad and my stepmother to have him. Just thinking of it terrifies me."

  Diego took his hand again. "You were meant to have that kid. I'm sure of it." He took Trevor's other hand too because his hands felt cold. Diego gripped them tightly and stayed close to Trevor. He seemed so shaky, and Diego wondered if it was just the fear of losing custody that was affecting him like this or if there was something more.

  Diego put an arm around him and pulled Trevor against him. As Diego held on to him, he worried that Trevor might take it the wrong way, but it seemed necessary. It seemed vital for someone to put an arm around Trevor and to tell him everything would be all right.

  Chapter 5

  Over the next few days, Diego saw Trevor around but only briefly. He wasn't sure if Trevor deliberately rushed off or if he was just busy. Diego was working while brooding over Trevor and wondering if he might be avoiding him because of what happened that night.

  He held Trevor for a while, that's all. But in the light of morning, Trevor might not appreciate it especially if he thought Diego had ulterior motives. Diego was sure that his motives were pure, or as pure as they could be while he held a hot, young guy in his arms. For a second or two, he was tempted to kiss him, but he dismissed the impulse. But what if Trevor could read him in his moment of weakness and now he didn't trust him?

  That worry was still on his mind when he got on the phone with Erin. Erin was a friend and a coworker and they started out talking strictly about business. As their conversation moved on from work to more personal stuff, Diego told her about having dinner at Trevor's and that he was worried about it a little. "It went fine. We talked, but toward the end, I think I might have overstepped."

  "You made a move on him, didn't you?" Erin said, jumping to conclusions.

  "No one made a move on anyone. Things just happen that..."

  "Did you accidentally fall on his junk?"

  "No! But I'm worried he might think I tried to take advantage of his vulnerability." Diego sighed. "What if he doesn't want to hang out with me any more, or me and Jamie and him and his kid? I like the guy, I don't want him to think he needs to keep me at arm's length."

  "What if he thinks you're after him and he takes you up on it? Or is that what you're really afraid of?" she said in an accusing tone. "I know you've been scared of relationships ever since you got burned by your ex."

  "Actually, on that subject, I think Trevor and I might be on the same page." Diego thought back to that look in Trevor's eyes, the guarded, closed off expression. It was sad to see that when his eyes were so beautiful.

  The next Sunday, Diego and Jamie were coming back from doing a little shopping and they got caught in the rain. As they got off the elevator on their floor, they spotted Trevor and Zane. Seeing Trevor carrying Zane and a bag of laundry as he was coming down the hall, Jamie ran over to him.

  "We had to run away from the rain," Jamie said.

  "And we weren't fast enough," Diego said as he brushed at Jamie's wet hair.

  Trevor smiled at them. He didn't seem standoffish right now. "You're in luck. I have clean towels right here." He offered them to Jamie who carefully picked out a blue one.

  "It's warm," he said as Diego dried his hair with it.

  "So are warm towels on the menu or did you want to come and have lunch with us?" Diego said.

  "Do we have mushy food for Zane?" Jamie asked.

  "We'll make something mushy," he assured Jamie then he looked at Trevor. "Actually I'd like you to come over to meet some friends of mine. My friend Lance is coming over and Erin said she would try to stop by, which means she'll definitely be there. We'll make a party of it."

  Trevor looked like he might be getting ready to refuse, and Diego was torn between accepting his decision and pushing him to join them.

  Jamie didn't hesitate to get pushy. "Zane wants to come," he claimed. All Zane was doing was trying to grab the towel from Jamie.

  "It's going to be a hundred percent casual. We bought a few things, but I won't be making anything major," Diego told him and held up the shopping bag he carried.

  "We're gonna make veggies and dip. Dip is good. Veggies are not too bad," Jamie told him and Zane. To Zane he said, "You can't just have dip."

  "OK, we'll come but only if I get to help out," Trevor said.

  "It's a deal," Diego said, happy that he accepted.

  "I'm gonna help out too," Jamie said.

  "Sure you will and Zane too," Diego told him.

  Trevor went to put away the laundry then he and Zane showed up at Diego's a little later. Looking past them, Diego saw the playpen from Trevor's living room. "Do you think you might have room for the playpen? I realized I wouldn't be able to help you much if I had to watch Zane."

  "Sure we have room," Diego told him and got the playpen through the door. "Good idea bringing it. This place is only childproofed for an older kid."

  Since they were going to be in the kitchen, they pushed the breakfast table to the side to make room to set up the playpen. Jamie was charged with keeping Zane busy. Once that was done, the first thing Trevor wanted to know was how he could help with lunch.

  Diego was making the cheese dip with cream cheese and smoked gouda, so he had Trevor deal with the vegetables. "They're already washed so just cut them up. I'm making some finger sandwiches too."

  "They aren't really finger sandwiches," Jamie said and then looked at Diego indignantly. "Dad tried to make me think they are. He said you put your finger between the slices of bread and you bite, but that's not true. They're just little sandwiches."

  "I'm glad to hear that," Trevor told him and smiled then he gave Diego the side-eye.

  "It was funny. Jamie was looking at me like I was crazy. Then he said, 'I don't want to bite my finger, Dad.'" Diego laughed remembering the look on his face.

  "Of course he did. Jamie is a smart kid," Trevor said, and Jamie looked up at him with approval.

  Diego looked at Trevor as well and noticed how thick his eyelashes were as his eyes were looking down at the cutting board in front of him. Trying not to stare at him,
Diego checked out what he was doing. He noticed Trevor's long, deft fingers as he cut the vegetables. His hands were beautiful, and Diego remembered holding them. How did he resist kissing those hands, pressing his lips to every fingertip, every knuckle?

  That kind of thinking was dangerous so he quickly turned away and busied himself with mixing up the spread for sandwiches. It was going to be a parmesan cream cheese spread on one side and pesto on the other with provolone, ham and arugula. He was substituting romaine for arugula for Jamie.

  "Those look like some serious sandwiches," Trevor said as Diego started assembling them. "Two kinds of spread?"

  "One for each slice. You can't leave the bread naked," Diego said. Maybe he shouldn't be talking about anything being naked. If he let himself think about things like that, he might come to the conclusion that he would kill to see Trevor naked. Literally kill.

  Diego grumbled to himself.

  "Are you missing something?" Trevor asked just as the doorbell rang.

  "A gorgeous guy in my life," Diego blurted out as he went to answer the door. Why did he say that? He wasn't ready to have a guy in his life. Trevor was just having a bad effect on him.

  Opening the door, Diego found Lance standing there. "Why doesn't someone invent some kind of contraption to keep off the rain? They could call them umbrellas, but us guys would refuse to carry the damned things because they make us look like dorks," Lance ranted as he stood on the threshold wiping his feet forever like he was Jamie or something.

  The poor guy did get a little wet. His red curls were damp as was his t-shirt. "You want a towel?"

  "No. It was just a little drizzle," Lance said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  "OK. Come into the kitchen so you can meet my neighbor," Diego told him.

  "The neighbor?" Lance asked.

  As they went into the kitchen, Trevor turned around with that shy, guarded expression on his face. Lance walked in complaining, "But that's not fair. He's not seeing me at my best. I'm all wet. Look at my hair."

  "Zane won't judge you," Diego assured him and pointed him out in the playpen.

  "Look at him smiling. Hey, you little sweetie, I'm Lance," he said and shook the boy's tiny hand. He then extended his hand to Trevor. "Hi, I'm Lance O'Dell and I usually look more gorgeous than this."

  "I'm Trevor Yeager. You still look good," he assured Lance then quickly turned back to what he was doing. He was arranging the vegetables on a platter with more precision than Diego would have. "Diego was just saying that he needed a gorgeous guy in his life and then you showed up."

  "I guess we had a speak of the devil moment," Diego said. He didn't want to admit that the gorgeous guy he was talking about was Trevor.

  Lance wasn't letting him get away with that. "I think someone else might have inspired him," he hinted and looked from Diego to Trevor.

  Trevor caught the look and once again busied himself with the food. If Lance made him uncomfortable, Diego might have to murder him.

  "You are so adorably shy," Lance said to Trevor, so he was definitely getting murdered. "I love it. Diego, he is the cutest."

  "Hi, Lance!" Jamie said as he came back from the bathroom and ran over to him for a hug.

  "Now you're in for it," Diego told Lance.

  "Why? What?" he asked.

  "Your man, Jamie, is right here and you called someone else the cutest."

  "You're not jealous, right?" Lance asked Jamie.

  "I don't know what you're talking about," Jamie told him reasonably.

  "We're talking about who's the cutest," Diego told him.

  "Zane," Jamie decided easily. "He's the baby."

  "There. Problem solved," Lance said and smiled at the little guy. Zane stuck one finger in his mouth as he grinned at him. "Look at him earning the title."

  Soon after that, Lance went to open the door for Erin while Diego and Trevor set up the food. Diego felt like they were both hosting this little get-together. But that was just an illusion because Trevor was so helpful and also because he was setting off some long buried yearnings in Diego.

  As Erin came in, Diego did the introductions. "This is my neighbor, Trevor. And..."

  "I know this part. I'm Erin from work," she jumped in to say passive-aggressively.

  "Oh, come on. I don't call you that any more. I introduced her that way once and she won't let it go," Diego explained to Trevor.

  "I'm strictly a work friend. I've made peace with that," Erin said with a sigh.

  "You're here, at my home, on a Sunday, so you aren't strictly a work friend," Diego pointed out.

  "No, no, that's fine. I know my place," she said, continuing her martyrdom.

  "She holds a grudge and she is really passive aggressive so watch out," Diego warned Trevor.

  "Hi, nice to meet you," Trevor said to her.

  When they brought out Zane from the kitchen and moved his playpen to the living room dining room area, she got to meet him too.

  "If babies would only change their own diapers, I would have one in a split second," she said after Zane made some cute noises at her.

  They sat down to eat and Diego poured some wine. Trevor didn't have any but Lance and Erin guzzled it down. Zane was a big hit as he mashed a tomato and dribbled it down his chin. He followed that up with some applesauce and peanut butter. After he got wiped up, he got to crawl under the dining table and explore. Jamie joined him and kept up a running commentary of what the little guy was up to.

  "Everyone knows that if you do the party right, you end up under the table," Lance said.

  "You call this a party?" Erin held up her half empty wine glass. "It's not a party if you don't serve the hard stuff."

  "Sorry if our party isn't up to your exacting standards," Diego said as he refilled her glass.

  He noticed that Trevor was pretty quiet but he didn't seem to be bored. Lance told them stories from nursing school, but all Erin cared about was which guys were straight. Lance couldn't mention one name without her asking, "Is he straight?" The follow up question was if the guy was good-looking. Then they got into a fight over a guy who was bi. Their crazy, pointless bickering got kind of loud. At one point Erin slammed her hand on the table to assert her dominance.

  Jamie popped up from under the table and frowned at all the adults. "Don't make noise and hit the table. You'll scare Zane," he scolded them.

  They all said sorry and Trevor thanked him for looking after Zane so well.

  Then Erin piped up. "Hey, Jamie, you know any good-looking guys? If they're loaded, that's even better."

  "If Jamie is going to find a good-looking guy for anyone, it will be me," Lance said.

  "I'm first in line. I'm his dad," Diego reminded them.

  Jamie gave them a big sigh then he said, "I'm going to go talk to Zane now." With that he ducked back under the table.

  "Smart move. I'm so proud of that boy," Diego said and caught Trevor smiling at him in a new way. It was a brighter, more open smile, like he was a little more relaxed now. Who knows, maybe Lance and Erin made a good impression on him somehow and despite themselves.

  After the two of them left, Trevor insisted on staying to help with clean up. "That was the deal we made," he said after they walked them to the door.

  "You don't need to repay every little thing, you know," Diego told him. "But I do appreciate any help I can get with the dishes. I can't wait till Jamie is old enough so I can make that one of his chores. Or maybe it can be a punishment."

  "I don't see what's so hard about sticking some dishes in the dishwasher," Trevor said as he stacked a few dishes at the dining table.

  Diego was thinking that it wasn't too bad when he had Trevor next to him. He kept his mouth shut about that. Trevor seemed more at ease and he didn't want to ruin that.

  Zane ended up taking his nap in his playpen. Diego recruited Jamie to help him and Trevor in the kitchen so he wouldn't wake him up. He got to put a few things in the dishwasher. While Jamie stuck a spoon in there, Trevor eyed Diego
suspiciously.

  Leaning over, Trevor whispered his accusation. "You're training him to do dishes."

  Diego didn't even bother to try and look innocent. "You're doing a great job, Jamie."

  When Jamie went off to his room, Diego told Trevor about Lance. "He has known Jamie longer than I have. When I met him, Lance was working for Jamie's grandfather. He took care of Henry when he got sick. Jamie had a nanny, but Lance helped take care of him too. After Henry died, Lance and I stayed in touch. I thought it was good for Jamie to spend time with someone who knew his grandfather, so the two of us got to be friends."

  "Why not boyfriends?" Trevor said. "He's very hot."

  "I don't go after every hot guy," Diego said a little defensively. "I needed a friend more than a boyfriend. They tend to stick around longer too."

  "You're saying that because of the guy who chickened out when you were about to adopt Jamie?" Trevor said making sure to lower his voice.

  "Chickened out is right," Diego said. It still made him furious, but he didn't want to talk about it. That's why he turned things around on Trevor. "What about you?"

  "I'm supposed to worry about relationships at a time like this?" Trevor looked so overwhelmed at the mere thought of it.

  "Good point. And maybe you're too young to have accumulated any bad exes."

  "No exes. I'm not very outgoing. I have trouble meeting people," he said.

  "You have plenty of time," Diego told him. He had mixed feelings about what Trevor told him. It should have been good news that he didn't want to be in a relationship right now either. They could spend time together without worrying that either of them would get the wrong idea.

  Instead of feeling relieved, Diego felt like he was in a race against every other guy out there who might want Trevor. Diego didn't want to get involved, but he did want to keep Trevor all to himself. Maybe they could skip right over the relationship and go straight to insane possessiveness.

  "Where did you go?" Trevor asked him, training his pretty blue eyes on Diego questioningly.