“I can't believe it. I’m so proud of you, honey.”
It’s the perfect opportunity, so I go for it. “Actually, Dad, I wanted to talk with you about all this. I think I know how I can raise more money. Our neighbor, Alyz, gave me the idea. She’s really into charity work.”
Dad looks impressed. “Alyz Rain? The supermodel?”
“Yep. I got to go in her house and everything. She wrote the thousand-dollar check. She says I’d find more willing donors after The Oscars at the Vanity Fair party. She’s going. And she says she’ll help me get more money there. What do you think, Dad?”
He gives me the biggest smile and nods again. “I think you two could do really well there.”
“Problem is I need a couple of tickets.”
“And that’s not even a problem. I have extras. Your mother had planned to go with me, but since she’s not here, well, I can take you.”
I prepare myself for the dicey part. “I want to bring Kyle, too.”
As I expected, his smile drops. “The kid with the bike?”
“Yes, but Dad, he’s a really nice guy. He actually coordinated the whole project.”
He takes a deep breath while thinking. Finally, he nods. “All right. But you’re not going on the bike. John will drive you guys.”
“Awesome! Thanks, Dad.”
The next challenge is going to be convincing Kyle to put on a tux.
Mom calls that night. Dad picks up the extension in his office, and I grab the one in the living room. She sounds great, clear and energized. Before she says anything about herself, she asks how we are. Even though my memories of her are only recent, I know this is unusual for her.
“We’re doing fine,” I say. “But we miss you.”
“I miss you, too. I want to hear about everything that’s going on with you.”
“How are you?” Dad asks. “Are you coming home soon?”
“I don’t think I’ll be here too much longer. I’m starting to really understand a lot of the reasons I did what I did. And I’m learning how to fight back. It’s a long struggle, but they’re equipping me well here.”
There’s a break. I imagine her blue eyes staring across the room, thinking about the reason she’s at the center.
Then she’s back. “But I want to hear about you. How’s school, Sia? How are Amber and Stacy?”
I totally ignore her question about the girls. “Actually, Mom, I'm working on a special project. My friend Kyle and I are doing a fundraiser for the San Francisco earthquake victims.”
“Oh my goodness!”
From the other extension, Dad chimes in with, “That's not all. Tell her the big plans, Sia.”
“Right. Mom, you know Alyz Rain down the street?”
“Yes,“ Mom says. “We're old friends. She's lovely.”
“Well, Alyz suggested that after The Oscars this Sunday, I go to the Vanity Fair after-party with her. She's going to help me get donations there. Since Dad has extra tickets, Kyle and I are going to go with her.”
“To The Oscars? Oh, Sia! You’re going to love it! All the celebrities, in their designer gowns. It’s like you’re walking right into a movie. It’s so exciting. I wish I could go. Maybe next year.” Her voice is wistful but swiftly changes to one rich with enthusiasm. “Sia, you have to dress like royalty. I have the perfect gown for you. Oh, this is so exciting! Carry the phone up to my closet.”
“Now?”
“Yes, now.”
Dad clears his throat. “You don’t need me for this part. I’ll talk with you later. I love you, honey.”
“I love you,” she says. “See you soon, Ray.”
He clicks off, and I technically kind of carry Mom up to her closet. She has everything in order, with casual wear on one wall, what looks like semi-casual on another wall, and farther back, an entire collection of evening gowns. Shoes are a little farther over, in what looks like their very own closet. “These clothes . . . wow.”
“I know. It’s fun, isn’t it? Now, the gown I’m thinking of is a new Versace. Look for the glittering gold. With your complexion, oh, it’ll look stunning. Can you see it?”
I peek at every single dress while I hunt for the gold one. Every gown seems more beautiful than the last one. When I reach the one she’s talking about, my jaw drops. It’s absolutely dazzling. “Oh, Mom.”
“I know. I haven’t even worn it yet. It’ll be perfect for you,” she gushes. “Do you see the shoes to go with it?”
“Yes.” How can I not? They are just as gorgeous as the gown, glinting like magic beneath it.
“And I have jewelry to match.”
She directs me to her jewelry box, and I have a strange feeling I’ve seen it before. Somewhere in my past, I must have picked through the treasures. Maybe when I was little. The earrings and necklace she chooses match absolutely perfectly: a dangling gold-and-diamond set.
“I can’t even imagine wearing this, Mom,” I say.
“It’s you, Sia. It’s pure gold, just like you.” She sniffs quietly. “My only regret is that I won’t be there to see you with my own eyes. At least the paparazzi will be there. You’ll be in all kinds of magazines.”
What? “Oh no.”
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It can only help your fundraiser. I’ll send someone over to do your makeup, and Beatriz will do your hair. You’ll need a mani/pedi, too. You can’t wear those shoes without beautiful toes!”
The whole glamour thing is almost overwhelming: the gown, the shoes and jewelry, the salon treatments. I know it shouldn’t, but the thought of doing all that makes me feel slightly guilty. Yes, I’m doing all this because I want to do something big for Kyle’s fundraiser. But the truth is also that I’m really looking forward to the royal treatment. I can justify it, though. Mom’s right. You have to spend money to make money, and my appearance will definitely matter at that event. Especially since I’ll be next to Alyz.
“Thank you, Mom. I feel so spoiled.”
“You deserve it. And I’m really proud of you, doing something like this.” She pauses. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I say, and I really mean it. With this whole amnesia thing, I barely know her. Yet I feel a connection to her. A feeling that transcends memory and understanding. And I know that feeling is love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I can't help but be surprised the next morning as Amber strolls by with her updated posse. I have been replaced by another popular cheerleader, Madison. Well, that didn't take long. I shake my head. The whole parading-down-the-school-catwalk routine is beyond ridiculous. I can’t believe I was part of that act for so long. I turn away, embarrassed for them, but the heels clicking down the hall stop when they reach me.
“Hey, Sia,” Amber says coolly.
I turn and face her. We exchange the first meek smile we’ve attempted in days. “Hey, Amber. What’s up?”
“I thought I’d give you one more chance.”
“To what?”
“Apologize.”
“I’m confused. Apologize to whom?”
She gives me a hard look. “Me,” she says, clearly irritated. “We’re all worried about how you’re behaving these days.”
I’m tempted to laugh, to be like Alyz and crow to the ceiling about how funny the whole thing is. But the thought of Alyz reminds me of the fundraiser, and I resist. Maybe this is my opportunity to do some good all around. “Well, I appreciate your concern, Amber, but I’m fine. Actually, I’ve been working on the fundraiser.” I glare at Stacy, who winces like I just pushed her. “I’m really hoping I can talk you guys into helping out.”
“Ha!” Amber’s angry laugh cuts through the noise of the hallway. She raises her voice so everyone can hear. “You’re unbelievable, Sia. You think you can insult me, then ask me to help? Why would I want to help you?”
“Because it’s not about us. It’s about the earthquake victims.”
“Whatever. The city will look after them. You’re wasting your time, and you’
re totally wasting mine.” Her little sniff raises her chin a bit higher, like she’s the queen of the corridor. “Come on, girls.”
Stacy and Madison trail after her. Stacy glances back over her shoulder at me. Her eyes clearly say, “I’m sorry! I have no choice!” but I look away, annoyed. Because she does have a choice. We all do. I learned that the hard way.
Algebra is my next class. I grab my books and slam my locker door shut. It’s kind of freeing, squeezing through the crowds without a big spotlight over my head, announcing that I’m part of Amber’s select group.
Duke has moved on, too. Beside him, tiny little Ashley glows. She is the perfect choice for him; she absolutely worships him. Actually, based on the way they glance at me then away, I wonder if the two of them messed around behind my back when he and I were still going out. From his recent behavior, I wouldn’t put it past him. Her bright red cheeks sure hint at guilt. Either way, I don’t care.
I take my seat and look over at Duke. He’s holding court with some of his football buddies. He knows I’m there, but he won’t look my way. That’s okay. It gives me a chance to study him for an uninterrupted moment. He really is handsome, but his eyes, which are right now creased with laughter, aren’t as kind or curious as I’d first thought. They are sharp and cruel.
At this moment, I can’t help wondering what’s going to happen when my memory finally returns. Will I remember why I loved—or why I thought I loved—Duke? Will I realize I’ve ruined everything?
The fact is, I have no idea what will happen. Maybe Amber’s right. Maybe my old personality will automatically resume. The possibility terrifies me. I sigh. Just one more thing to worry about.
Later that day, I pass Kyle in the hallway. “Hey, Kyle! I was out for an hour last night and—”
He steps away from me and holds up one hand. “I don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“But I’ve got some great news—”
“No, Sia. I want us all to meet after school at the bakery. Can you do that? Meet there? Then we’ll share everything we’ve done and start working on different projects. If you tell me everything now, it won’t be fair to the others.”
“Oh. All right,” I say slowly, though I really don’t think that matters. I’m disappointed I don’t get to tell him right away. Why is he so reluctant to be alone with me?
At three thirty, we all meet at BooBoo’s. Kyle treats the table to a tray of goodies.
“This sure beats meeting at school,” I say, enjoying a chocolate croissant. It’s still warm and melts like butter on my tongue.
“I thought we’d be more comfortable here,” Kyle says, calling the meeting to order. “First off, I want to talk about what we did yesterday.”
“We did great,” Tiff says. She pulls out a wad of cash and checks. “We made just over $2,500 from different businesses in the area.”
They look so proud of themselves, and it really is great news. But now I have to tell them that I made almost the same amount all by myself, just by ringing doorbells down the street from my house. I slide my envelope across the table. “Well, there’s another $1,800 we can add.”
All three look at me like I just told them I could fly.
“You told me you were only out for an hour,” Kyle says. It sounds like an accusation.
“I was.”
“How did you manage this?”
“Who cares? This is awesome!” Tiff exclaims, her eyes dancing. “We’re really doing this!”
Ben and Roberta both seem really happy, too. Roberta even reaches across the table and pats my arm. It’s an odd little motion, but I find it reassuring. Like she’s kind of saying, “Don’t worry about moody Kyle. We like you.”
But I need moody Kyle on my side. “Kyle,” I say carefully, “I have another idea. You might think it’s crazy, but hear me out.”
He’s intrigued, though I still see distrust swimming in the back of those green eyes. He has really nice eyes. I envision him in a tuxedo and take courage from the image in my mind.
“One of my neighbors is Alyz Rain. Have you heard of her?”
Tiff has; she stares at me like I have three heads. “Sure. She’s that famous Russian supermodel, right? She lives on your street?”
I nod, even though I want to correct her and tell her Alyz is Romanian, not Russian. That doesn’t matter, though. I’m just grateful that Tiff and I get to share a tiny moment, and that she’s on my side.
“Yes. I was at her house last night.”
Tiff leans forward, fascinated. “Get out! What was it like?”
“Oh my gosh, it was—”
“Let’s not get off track, ladies,” Kyle says, though he says it with a smile in his voice. Maybe it’s petty, but I hope some of that smile’s for me, not just Tiff.
“Anyway, she suggested that she and I go to The Oscars on Sunday night, as well as the Vanity Fair after-party. She thinks we could ask some wealthy celebrities to make donations.”
They’re all staring at me, their mouths slightly open, and I realize I’d just done it again. I’ve just proposed doing something regular people simply don’t do. They don’t mix with celebrities. They don’t go to Oscar parties. They don’t even fantasize about doing those things.
“What? It’s not all that crazy, you know. My parents are in show business,” I say, smiling. “Anyway, what I’m trying to get to is that Alyz thinks Kyle should go, too. My dad gave me two tickets.”
“What? No!” Kyle shakes his head wildly. “I can’t go to that.”
Roberta’s eyes are huge, their brown irises flecked with gold. “Yes, yes, yes! You gotta go, Kyle!” She claps with delight. “Can you even imagine? The Oscars! With all those famous people and the red carpet and—”
Even Ben pipes up. He grins at Kyle. “Plus, you'll get to meet Alyz Rain. That’s reason enough.”
I’m shocked; I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him say a word before.
“Absolutely. Use that for motivation,” Roberta says.
Tiff smacks Kyle on the side of his head. “Don’t be an idiot! How often do you get this kind of chance?” She smiles at me. “He's going.”
Kyle has turned a very deep shade of purple. After a moment, he takes a deep breath and smiles self-consciously. “Well, I guess if the whole committee is in agreement, then I’m going.”
“Do you have a tuxedo?” Ben asks.
Kyle glares at him. “Dude, I have a suit. I bought one last year for a wedding.”
Tiff is forthright. “Is it a good suit?” she asks; I’m secretly relieved it’s her and not me.
“Yes, it’s a good suit!” Kyle exclaims, exasperated. “Jeez.”
Roberta and Tiff exchange a glance and roll their eyes. I’m suddenly so envious of the friendship these four share. They know each other so well. “We’re renting you a tux, Kyle,” Tiff says with a wave.
Kyle sags with defeat. “Whatever.”
Everyone is laughing. They love the idea. And why not? It’s an awesome plan. Crazy, but awesome. “You can come to my place before, okay? My driver will take us.”
Kyle’s still frowning when he nods, but at least he’s looking at me now. And I know the frown is more about their questioning his fashion sense than the fact that he’s going to be my date.
I feel a rush of anticipation. This is going to be an unforgettable night.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
When we’re finished with our meeting, I pick up some more buns and head toward the housing building Carol told me about. I figure afternoon is a good time to catch her since her restaurant job is at night. I’m lucky: when I ask at the front desk, they tell me she’s in her room.
Carol is all smiles when she opens the door and welcomes me into her tiny apartment. My closet is bigger than the room, which is barely four walls, a twin bed, a dresser, and a small table and chair. She gratefully accepts the treats I brought and gives me a tour of the apartment. She explains that if I need a bathroom, I’ll have to go down the hall, because everyo
ne shares. They also share the kitchen and dining area.
“It’s a fine place,” Carol says, smiling proudly. I sit on her only chair while she settles on top of the bed. “I can’t tell you how good it feels to have my own room. I feel much safer here. I don’t have to sleep with one eye open anymore. And now that I can pay rent, I know this place is going to feed me. I’m truly blessed.”
“So they’re nice people?”
“Oh yes. Very nice. There are a lot of folks from the street here. A lot of moms with kids running from bad marriages. Some of those mothers are as young as you, maybe younger. It’s really hard on them. But this place is great for everyone. They even have a playground behind the building for the little ones.”
“That’s terrific.”
“Now it’s your turn, child. What’s been going on with you?”
I sigh and smile over at her. “Well, I’m happy to report that my life has really improved.”
“Has it now?”
She listens closely as I talk about Mom and the rehab center, and how my knowing that she’s getting the treatment she needs for her alcohol addiction is taking a lot of pressure off Dad. When Carol asks about school, I tell her I’m making some new friends—kids I used to torment in the past.
“This is good, Sia. You’re reaching out, changing your world.”
I nod. “Remember you told me to keep my eyes open for opportunities? Well, you were right.” I tell her about how the San Francisco earthquake has given me a chance to help others and really make a difference. How Kyle’s fundraiser is changing it all for me.
“Tell me about this Kyle,” she says, her eyes twinkling. She pats the bed beside her.
I get up so we can sit together. “Is he your boyfriend?”
I shake my head. “No. He remembers me for who I was, not who I am now, but I’m going to change his mind. One day.”
“I believe you, Sia.” She pauses. “He must be pretty special if he matters to you so much.”
I think about that, but I don’t have to think too hard. He is special, and he has a big heart. I mean, what other guy from school volunteers his free time at soup kitchens or organizes fundraisers? “Yeah, I think he is. And his project has opened my eyes to what I can do, to what I want to do. I want to help people in need. I'd like to volunteer for other things after graduation. I'm just getting started.”
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