by neetha Napew
"May it please the exalted fleetlord," Shiplord Straha of the 206th Emperor Yowersaid, "but much of this territory strikes me as being that on Tosev 3 least worth the having. True, it's warm enough to suit our kind, but much of it is so beastly wet that our fighting males break out in molds and rots."
"Molds and rots are a small price to pay for victory," Atvar answered. More of the hologram turned gold, so that Tosev 3 itself looked blotched and diseased. "Here are our holdings in the regions where the Big Uglies are most technologically advanced. As you can see for yourselves, valiant males, these have expanded considerably since last we gathered together." The hologram rotated to give the shiplords a view of the entire planet.
Brash as usual, Straha said, "Certainly we have made great gains. How could it be otherwise, when we are the Race? The question that arises, however, Exalted
Fleetlord, is why our gains have not been greater still, why Tosevite forces yet remain in arms against us."
"May I speak, Exalted Fleetlord?" Kirel asked. At Atvar's assent, the shiplord of the 127th Emperor Hetto went on, "The principal reason for our delays, Shiplord Straha, strikes me as obvious to a hatchling still wet from the egg: the Big Uglies' capabilities are far greater than we imagined while readying the expeditionary force."
"Oh, indeed, as we have discovered to our sorrow," Straha said sarcastically, eager to score points off his rival. "But why is this so? How did our probes fail us so badly? How did the Tosevites become a technological species while the Race turned its eye turrets in the other direction?"
Kirel turned to Atvar in protest. "Exalted Fleetlord, the blame for that must surely rest
with the Big Uglies themselves, not on the Race. We merely applied procedures which had proved themselves eminently successful on our two previous conquests. We could not know in advance that they would be less effective here."
"That is so." Atvar glanced down to check some data on a computer screen. Before Kirel could look too smug at having his commander's support, the fleetlord added, "Nevertheless, Straha poses a legitimate question, even if impolitely: why are the Tosevites so different from us and our two previous subject races?"
Now Straha brightened up. Atvar needed to keep his rivalry with Kirel active; that way both powerful shiplords, and the lesser leaders who inclined to one of them or the other, would continue to labor zealously to seek the fleetlord's support.
After reviewing his electronic notes once more, Atvar said, "Our savants have isolated several factors which, they feel, cause the Tosevites to be as they are." A muffled hiss ran through the shiplords as they gave their commander full attention. Some of these speculations had already gone out in bulletins and announcements, but bulletins and announcements flowed from the fleetlord's ship in such an unending stream that no one, no matter how diligent, could pay attention to them all. Words straight from the fleetlord's jaws, though, were something else again.
He said, "One element contributing to the Tosevites' anomalous nature is surely the anomalous nature of Tosev 3." Now all at once the planet's immense, innumerable oceans and seas and lakes and rivers glowed bright blue. "The excessive amount of free water serves, along with mountains and deserts, to wall off groups of Big Uglies from one another and allow them to go their own
separate ways. This is obvious from one eye's glance at the globe, and is not too different from our own most ancient days back on Home."
"But, Exalted Fleetlord—" Kirel began. Not only had he read all the bulletins and announcements, he'd discussed them with Atvar— the advantage of being shiplord to the bannership of the fleet
"But indeed." Atvar wanted to lay out this exposition himself, without interruptions. "What follows is more subtle. Because land dominates water on the worlds of the Empire, we have little experience with boats and other aquatic conveyances. That is not the case among the Tosevites, who lavish endless ingenuity upon them. When some Big Uglies stumbled upon technology, they were quickly able to spread its influence— and theirs— by sea to most of the planet."
"Then why do we not face one unified Tosevite empire, Exalted Fleetlord?" asked Feneress, a shiplord of Straha's faction.
"Because the Tosevites in the area where the breakthrough took place were already divided among several competing groups," Atvar answered "Travel by sea let them all expand their influence outward without consolidating into a single empire."
The assembled shiplords hissed again, more quietly this time, as implications began to sink in. Back on Home, the ancestral Empire had grown step by small step. That was the only way it could grow, on a normal world where there were no great oceans to let its influence suddenly metastasize in a hundred directions at once. Atvar hissed himself as that word crossed his mind; it seemed the perfect metaphor for the Tosevites' malignantly rapid technological growth.
"You must also bear in mind the constantly competitive nature of the Big Uglies themselves," he went on. "As we have recently discovered, they are sexually competitive throughout the year, and remain, in a state permitting sexual excitement even in the long-term absence of any breeding partner."
Atvar knew he sounded faintly disgusted. Without pheromones from females in heat, his own sexual urge remained latent. He didn't miss it. On a mission like this, it would have been a distraction. The Rabotevs and Hallessi were like the Race in that regard, which had led its savants to believe all intelligent species followed the same pattern. There as elsewhere, Tosev 3 was proving a theorist's crematorium.
Straha said, "Exalted Fleetlord, I recently received a shiplord's-eyes-only report noting that the Tosevite empires opposing us are in
fact not empires at all. I find this a contradiction. Granted that the scale of area ruled may vary, but how can there be government without empire?"
"Before I came here, Shiplord, I assure you I found that concept as unimaginable as you do now," Atvar answered. "Tosev 3, unfortunately, has taught us all a variety of unpleasant new ideas. Of the lot, government without empire may be the most repugnant, but it does exist and must be dealt with."
The shiplords stirred uncomfortably. Talking about government without empire was worse than talking about sexual interest in the absence of females in heat. For the Race, the latter was just an intellectual exercise, a study in abstraction. Government without empire, though, tore at the underpinnings of a thousand millennia of civilized life.
Feneress said, "Without emperors, Exalted
Fleetlord, how can the Big Uglies administer their affairs? I too saw the report to which the senior shiplord Straha refers, but I confess I dismissed it as just another flight of fancy from savants drawing broad conclusions without enough data. You are saying this is not the case?"
"It is not, Shiplord. For my own peace of mind, I wish it were, but the data are irrefutable," Atvar replied. "Moreover, revolting as it surely seems to us, the Big Uglies in many cases seem proud of their success at ruling themselves without emperors." The Big Ugly named Molotov had seemed proud of belonging to a band that had slaughtered his empire's emperor. The very idea still gave Atvar the horrors.
"But how do they administer their affairs?" Feneress persisted. Several other shiplords, males from both Straha's faction and Kirel's, made gestures of agreement. Here the whole
Race united in finding the Tosevites baffling.
Atvar found them baffling, too, but he had been working hard to understand. He said, "I will summarize as best I can. In some Tosevite, uh, non-empires—the two most powerful examples are Deutschland and the SSSR— the ruler has full imperial power but draws on no hereditary loyalty and affection from his subjects. This may be one reason these two Tosevite areas are ruled with more brutality than most: obedience out of affection being unavailable to them, they force obedience out of fear."
That made a certain amount of logical sense, anyway, no matter how much it appalled the fleetlord. Since logical sense was hard enough to come by on Tosev 3, he cherished it when he found it Deutschland and the SSSR were models of comp
rehensibility when set beside some of the other— maybe lands was a good word for them, Atvar thought— on
Tosev 3.
He went on, "Italia, Nippon, and Britain are empires in our sense of the word. Or so they claim, at any rate; nothing the Big Uglies do can be trusted to be what it appears. In the first two empires I mentioned, the emperor serves as a false front for other Tosevites who hold the actual power in their regimes."
"This phenomenon was also known among the Rabotevs before we integrated them into the Empire," Kirel noted. "In fact, some of our own ancient records may be interpreted to imply that it occurred among the Race as well, in the long-ago days when the Empire was limited, not merely to one planet, but to a portion of that planet."
The shiplords muttered among themselves. Atvar did not blame them. Anything that cast doubt on the sovereignty of the Emperor had to be intensely disturbing. The Emperor was
the rock to which their souls were tethered, the central focus of all their lives. Without him, they could only wander through existence alone and afraid, no better than the Big Uglies or any other beasts of the field.
Yet this briefing held more that would disquiet them. As the mutters died away, Atvar spoke again: "The case of Britain is more obscure. Again, though it is an empire, its emperor holds no real power. Some of you will have noticed the name of the male, uh, Churchill, as appearing repeatedly among those who urge the Tosevites to continue their futile and foredoomed resistance to the Race. This Churchill, it seems (admittedly from the limited data we have and our own imperfect— the Emperor be praised!— understanding of Tosevite customs), is but the leader of the Britainish faction which currently musters more support than any other. If the factions shift, their leaders meeting together may at any time choose for themselves a different
chief."
Straha's jaws gaped in amusement. "And when they do, Exalted Fleetlord, how will this war leader, this— Churchill, did you say?— respond? By abandoning the power he has seized? Isn't he more likely to set soldiers on them to cure their presumption? Isn't that what you or I or any sane male would do?"
"We have reason to believe he would abandon power," Atvar answered, and had the satisfaction of seeing Straha's mouth close with a snap. "Intercepted radio signals indicated such— how best to put it?— resignation to factional shifts is a commonplace of government (or lack of government) among the Britainish."
"Madness," Straha said.
"What else would you expect from the Big Uglies?" Atvar said. "And if you think the
Britainish mad, how do you account for the Tosevite land called the United States?"
Straha did not answer. Atvar had not expected him to answer. The rest of the shiplords also fell silent. Without a doubt the most prosperous land on Tosev 3, the United States was by any rational standard an anarchy. It had no emperor; as far as any of the Race's savants could tell, it had never had an emperor. But it also had few of the trappings of a land ruled by force like the SSSR or Deutschland.
Atvar summed up the Race's view of the United States in one scornful word: "Snoutcounters! How do they have the hubris to imagine they can build a land that amounts to anything by counting one another's snouts?"
"And yet they have," Kirel said, as usual soberly sticking to observable truth. "Analysis suggests they acquired the snout-counting
habit from the Britainish, with whom they share a language, and then extended it further than even the Britainish countenance."
"They even count snouts in the prison camps we have established on their soil," Atvar said. "When we needed Big Ugly representatives through whom to deal with their kind, that's how they chose them— instead of picking ones known to be wise or brave, they let several vie for the jobs and counted snouts to see which had the most in favor."
"How are these representatives working out?" asked Hassov, who was rather a cautious male and thus inclined to Kirel's faction. "How much worse are they than those selected by some rational means?"
"Our officers have noted no great differences between them and similar representatives elsewhere on Tosev 3," Atvar said. "Some are better and more obedient than others, but that
is the case all around the planet"
The, admission bothered him. It was as if he were confessing that the manifest anarchy of the United States worked as well as a system that made sense. As a matter of fact, it did seem to work well, by Tosevite standards anyhow. And the American Big Uglies (he did not understand how they derived American from United States, but he did not pretend to be a linguist, either) fought as hard for the sake of their anarchy as other Big Uglies battled for their emperors or non-imperial rulers.
Straha said, "Very well, Exalted Fleetlord, the Tosevites rule themselves in ways we find incomprehensible or revolting or both How does this affect our campaign against them?
"A relevant question," Atvar said approvingly. He did not trust Straha; the male had enough ambition to be— why, he had almost enough
ambition to be one of those freewheeling American Big Uglies himself, Atvar thought with the new perspective he'd gained from half a year on Tosev 3. But no denying his ability.
The fleetlord resumed: "The Tosevites, with these ramshackle, temporary governments of theirs, have shown themselves to be more versatile, more flexible, than we are. No doubt those back on Home would be shocked at the improvisations we have been forced to make in the course of our conquest here."
No doubt a good many of you are, too, Atvar added silently to himself. From lack of practice or need, the Race did not improvise well. When change came in the Empire (which was' seldom), it came in slow, carefully planned steps, with likely results and plans to meet them mapped out beforehand. The Emperor and his servants thought in terms of millennia. That was good for the
Race as a whole, but did not promote quick reflexes. Here on Tosev 3, situations had a way of changing even as you looked at them; yesterday's perfect plan, if applied day after tomorrow, was as apt to yield fiasco as triumph.
"Improvising, though, seems a way of life for the Big Uglies," Atvar said. "Witness the antilandcruiser mines they mounted on animals' backs. Would any of us have imagined such a ploy? Bizarre as it is, though, it has hurt us more than once. And the supply of munitions available to us, as compared to that which the Tosevites continue to produce, remains a source of some concern."
"By the Emperor, we rule the skies on this world," Straha said angrily. "How is it that we've failed to smash the factories down below?" Just too late, he added, "Exalted Fleetlord." Several shiplords stirred uneasily at the implied criticism of Atvar.
The fleetlord did not let his own anger show. "The answer to your question, Shiplord Straha, has two parts. First, Tosev 3 has a great many factories, scattered through several areas of the planet's surface. Destroying them all, or even most of them, is no easy task. Besides which, the Tosevites are adept at quickly repairing damage. This, I suppose, is another result of their having been at war among themselves when we arrived. They cannot match our technology, but are extremely effective within the limits of their own."
"We should have had more resources before we undertook the conquest of an industrialized planet," Feneress complained.
Now Atvar did project the image of the mail-clad Tosevite warrior captured by the earlier probe from Home. "Shiplord, let me remind you that this is the opposition we expected to face. Do you think our forces adequate to
defeat such foes?" Feneress sensibly stood silent— what reply could he hope to make? Against sword-swinging primitives, the fight would have been over in days, probably without the loss of a single male of the Race.
Atvar touched the controls again. New images replaced the familiar one of the Tosevite fighting male: a gun-camera hologram of a swept-wing fighter with two jet engines and the hooked-cross emblem of Deutschland; a landcruiser from the SSSR, underpowered and undergunned by the standards of the Race, certainly, but needing only scaling up to become a truly formidable weapon; a bombed-out factor
y complex in the United States that had been turning out several bombing planes every day; and, finally, the satellite picture of the unsuccessful Deutsch missile launch.
Into the shiplords' sudden silence, Atvar said, "Considering the unexpectedly strong struggle the Big Uglies have been able to maintain, we
can be proud of our successes thus far. As we gradually continue to cripple their industrial base, we may find future victories coming more easily."
"Simply because we did not have the walkover we expected, we need not twitch our tailstumps and yield to despair or pessimism," Kirel added. "Instead, we should give thanks that the Emperor in his wisdom sent us forth with force overwhelming for our anticipated task, thus allowing us to accomplish the far more difficult one that awaited us here."
The fleetlord sent him a grateful look. He could not imagine a more encouraging note on which to close the gathering. But before he had the chance to dismiss the shiplords, Straha asked, "Exalted Fleetlord, in view of the technological base the Tosevites do have, could they be working toward nuclear weapons of their own and, if so, how can we prevent this development short of sterilizing