A half smile touched her lips. “She’s having the time of her life. One son has two children, and the other son is expecting a child in the fall. She’s excited about getting to know her grandchildren.”
His eyes settled on her. “And she has yours to look forward to, also. Is she planning to be back for the birth?”
“Oh, yes. She’ll be home in about two weeks. I’ve told her to stay and enjoy herself as long as she can. There will be plenty of time for her to be with me and the baby later.”
“Have you met your half brothers?” he asked.
She nodded. “Mac and Ripp spent some time here in the winter, when Mother had heart surgery. Mac even married a friend of the family—the doctor who was caring for my mother. I like them both. They’re nice, respectable men. Both of them are deputy sheriffs. Seems being a lawman runs in their family.”
Just like being a lawman ran in his, Jonas thought with a touch of sadness. The profession had killed his father, and it had ruined Jonas’s marriage. What else was it going to do to him? Leave him a lonely bachelor without anything to show for his life? Still, it seemed that some men could make it work. God, he didn’t want to think about that now.
Across the table he heard her draw in a long breath, then slowly release it.
“To be honest, Jonas, when I first met the two men I didn’t exactly know what to feel about them. You see, it was shocking for me and my brother to learn that our mother had a family back in Texas. None of us had known about it. Except for our father. And he went to his grave without giving the secret away.”
“Do you resent your half brothers appearing after all this time?”
Alexa shook her head. “Not exactly. I think I actually like the idea of having more brothers, and I believe I’ll grow close to them. It’s just the idea of my mother being someone else—something different than what I always believed. That shook me, Jonas. Do you understand what I mean?”
He looked down at his plate. “Yeah. Finding out someone isn’t what you believed they were is always hard.”
“She had a good reason for the choices she made,” Alexa went on. “And I’ve forgiven her for keeping secrets. God knows, life is too short to waste time on anger—especially with your family.”
For a long time Jonas had been angry about his father’s death. He’d resented the townsfolk and blamed them for Curtis Redman’s death. The mayor, the town council, every citizen should have made sure that there were adequate police officers to keep the town safe and secure. Instead, they’d piled the responsibility onto his father’s shoulders until he crumbled. Now that years had passed and Jonas could look at it without so much pain in his heart, he realized that his father had been a grown man with the ability to make his own choices. He could have walked away. Instead, he’d died doing what he wanted to do. And that was about all a man could really ask for.
He gave her a brief smile. “Your mother is very lucky to have a daughter like you.”
Her features softened, and then she surprised him by reaching over and laying her hand on his forearm. “That’s a very nice thing to say, Jonas.”
Hell, why did she have to be so sweet? Why wasn’t she ranting and railing about him being out so late? Why wasn’t she demanding to know where he’d been and what he’d been doing? Why did she have to talk about forgiveness and understanding, the traits he so often admired in the people who could truly practice them?
“Don’t mistake me for a nice guy, Alexa. I’m really a selfish bastard when you get to know me.”
Instead of his words putting her off, she merely chuckled as she slowly rose to her feet. “What are you going to do? Leave your dirty dishes on the table? Well, that wouldn’t bother me. You’ve been working hard. You’re entitled.”
Jonas’s brows lifted. “How do you know I’ve been working?”
Her hands curved over the back of the chair as she stood surveying him with dark blue eyes. “Haven’t you?”
He hesitated for only a few seconds. “Sort of.”
“What does that mean?” she asked as he stood and carried his dirty plate over to the counter.
Jonas decided to be as honest as he could with her. “Well, actually it means I spent most of this evening in a bar.”
She laughed again, surprising him even more.
“That’s supposed to be work?”
He grimaced as he carried the tea glass and basket of chips over to the spot where he’d left his plate. “It is when you don’t want to be there.”
She frowned. “Then why were you?”
He sighed as he walked over to where she stood in the middle of the room. “I was thinking—well, that I might overhear talk about the incident with Pickens’s fence.”
Confusion furrowed her brow. “Are you kidding? Why would anyone be talking about that? Things like that happen all the time. Fences get knocked down. Cattle stray onto other ranches, and the herds get mixed. Why would you even want to hear someone talking about that? It doesn’t make sense.”
No. It wouldn’t make sense to her. Not without knowing what he knew. Taking her by the arm, Jonas asked, “Are you ready to go upstairs?”
She nodded. Then, as they headed out of the room, she said, “You didn’t answer my question about Ty Pickens.”
“I just don’t like him accusing my men of destroying property, that’s all. I’d like to know what really happened so I can throw the truth back in his face.”
“Oh. Well, you’re not going to find the answer in a bar. I’m inclined to think some teenagers did it just as a prank. They probably thought it funny that a few cowboys had to work extra hours to separate a bunch of cattle.”
“Why would teenagers be back in the mountains?”
Turning her head toward his, she gave him a droll look. “You have to ask? A boy, a girl, a secluded place.”
By now they’d reached the stairs, and as Jonas curved his arm around the back of her waist, he felt a flush of heat crawl up his face. For some reason she had the ability to make him feel very young and very old at the same time.
“Hmm. That reason.”
She didn’t reply, but he could see that the corners of her lips were tilted upward in a coy fashion. The idea that she was flirting with him in a vague sort of way had his fingers tightening on the side of her waist and his hip moving close enough to touch hers.
“I’m glad to learn you’re not that dead,” she said as they slowly climbed toward the landing and the bedrooms beyond.
She smelled like flowers growing in green, green grass, and everything about her felt soft and precious. He wanted to keep touching her, holding her next to him, pretending that she was his.
Before he could stop himself, he slowed his steps and then urged her to face him. He noticed her brows were arched in a questioning manner, but he didn’t bother to register anything else as he bent his head and nuzzled his face against the side of her neck.
“I’ve never felt more alive in my life,” he murmured. Then, placing a soft kiss beneath her ear, he brought his arms around her shoulders, gathered her closer and whispered, “Let me see how good you feel, taste.”
Her groan was a sound of surrender, and he turned his head to rest the tip of his nose against hers. Her breaths were coming in rapid spurts, and he realized with a bit of surprise that his touching her was exciting her as much as it was him.
Tilting his head, he slanted his lips gently over hers and was instantly overcome by their velvety texture, the sweetness that spilled from them as she opened her mouth and returned his kiss.
Long, long moments went by before he finally broke the contact of their lips and lifted his head. He’d severed the connection only because he’d felt himself slipping toward a place he shouldn’t be going.
“Oh, Jonas,” she whispered, with dismay. “I’m huge and unattractive. And—”
“You’re very beautiful, Alexa,” he interrupted. His fingertips caressed the side of her cheek; then his palm gently rested upon the curve of her be
lly. “And the baby makes you even more beautiful.”
As she gazed up at him, her eyes suddenly sparkled with tears and then, before he realized what was happening, she twisted out of his arms and hurried up the last few steps without him.
Stunned, Jonas stared after her for a moment. What had he done? Said?
Bounding after her, he caught up to her just as she was about to enter her bedroom. Capturing her by the hand, he tugged her back to him.
“Alexa! You’re crying! What’s wrong? If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”
Her face was a picture of torn emotions as she stared up at him with eyes that were apologetic, pleading, sorrowful.
“You—you didn’t do anything wrong, Jonas. It’s just that—I’ve not heard anything so nice from a man in a long, long time.”
Jonas’s head was twisting back and forth even before he realized it. “Then why are you crying?”
More tears spilled over the rims of her eyes, and it was all Jonas could do to keep from pulling her into his arms, stroking her hair and promising her all the things he’d vowed to never again promise a woman.
“Because I can’t do anything about it. Because I wish I’d met you a long time ago. I wish I’d never left this ranch in the first place. I wish too many things! Things that can never come true!”
Totally perplexed, he stared at her. What could he do or say to make it all better for her?
Hell, Jonas, you can’t make it all better for Alexa. She needs a man who puts on a tie every morning and sits down at the dinner table promptly every night.
“Alexa, I—”
Suddenly she rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Don’t worry about me, Jonas. I’m just a woman about to have a baby. That’s all. Forget everything I said. Please!”
Before he could make any sort of coherent reply, she pulled away from him and slipped behind her bedroom door.
Dazed, Jonas stood staring at the wooden panel, longing to open it and go after her, but knowing the best thing he could do was walk away.
I’m just a woman about to have a baby.
And he was a fool, reaching for something he could never have.
Chapter Five
Three days later, after a checkup with her doctor, Alexa drove out to Ruidoso Downs, where her friend Laurel Stanton worked at the Lincoln Animal Hospital. It was a veterinarian’s office that mostly worked on horses that were raced on the nearby track, but the prominent doctor also treated cattle and smaller animals.
When she entered the office and inquired about her friend, the receptionist, an older woman with graying hair and a gentle smile, motioned to a door directly behind her.
“Laurel is back there with the cats. Go on in. You won’t be interrupting anyone. The doctor is gone for the rest of the day, and Laurel is doling out medication.”
“Thank you,” she told the woman.
Behind the door was a long, wide hallway that opened on to examining rooms, and farther down was a ward of sorts, where caged animals recuperated from surgeries and illnesses. She found her friend here, among the hissing and the loud, soulful meows of the cats.
“Need any help?” Alexa called out as she stepped into the room.
The tall, chestnut-haired woman whirled around, then gasped with pleasure when she spotted Alexa.
“All that I can get!” Hurrying over, she hugged her friend close and laughed. “What are you doing here? Gosh, it’s wonderful to see you! Finally!”
Since Alexa had returned to the Chaparral, she’d only had a chance to speak with Laurel on the phone. While Alexa had lived in Santa Fe, the two had kept in close contact, but today was the first time she’d seen her old friend in nearly two years.
“I just had a checkup at the clinic, and I thought I would stop by and see if we could talk for just a minute,” Alexa told her. She stepped back and gave the other woman a thorough looking over. “You look great! You’re so lean and tan and pretty! Doctoring animals must agree with you.”
Laurel gestured toward the assortment of cats, two of which were walking in and out of her legs. “These are my babies,” she said, with a fond grin. “So when is yours coming?”
“Probably not for four weeks. At least, that’s when the due date is. The doctor says first babies are usually never on time, and though the baby is in position, he can’t tell me a definite date. As for me, I’m ready any time.”
“I’ll just bet you are.” Laurel looped her arm through Alexa’s and urged her toward the door. “Come on. I’m finished in here. Let’s take a break. I have a little cubbyhole of an office just down the hall.”
Laurel led her to the small room, then shut the door behind them. As she gestured for Alexa to take a seat in a cushioned wicker chair, she walked over to a tiny fridge and pulled out two bottles of fruit juice.
“Doc is out on call. He won’t be back for the rest of the day.” She handed one of the bottles to Alexa. “He irks the hell out of me at times, leaving me to deal with all this work by myself, but I love the animals, so I put up with him.”
She sat down in a chair facing Alexa and twisted the lid off the glass bottle. Alexa smiled as she watched her friend tilt the drink to her lips.
“It’s so good to see you, Laurel. It seems…well, seeing you makes me feel like I’m really home again.”
“For good this time?” Laurel asked.
Alexa’s gaze dropped to her lap. “Probably. I don’t know. I hate giving up my job, but Barry has ruined it for me. I don’t think I’d ever be happy working there again. Seeing him most every day would only remind me of what an idiot I was.”
Laurel shook her head. “Why are you still being so hard on yourself? I’ve had relationships with several stinkers, and I never thought I should go jump off a cliff because I made bad choices.”
Alexa grimaced. “I never wanted to jump off a cliff.”
“No. But you thought the world had come to an end.”
A radio was playing on a small, cluttered desk behind them. The country music made her think of Jonas. But then, these days everything made her think of Jonas.
“Laurel, I’m pregnant with the man’s child. And he’s—he turned out to be a real creep.”
“You didn’t know that when the baby was conceived.”
“That’s exactly why I was so upset when I discovered the hidden side of Barry. I should have known it. But I didn’t come here to talk about that. How are your parents?”
“Good. Mom got a job over at the track, doing office work. So far she loves it. And Dad had a health scare for a few days last month, but that turned out to be nothing. So how is your mother? Counting the days until you give birth to her grandchild, I’m sure.”
“She’s gone to Texas right now to visit my half brothers. And Quint is still staying at the ranch house he’s renovating, so I’ve basically been alone for the past two weeks.”
Laurel frowned. “I can’t believe your family is allowing you to stay in that huge house alone. Anything could happen to you! Maybe I should come stay with you until your mother gets back.”
Sighing, Alexa twisted the cap off the bottle of fruit juice. “I’m not alone, Laurel. Sassy is there, and Jonas is there at night.”
Her brows arched, Laurel looked at her. “Jonas? Do I know him?”
Alexa shook her head. “I doubt it. He’s the new general manager that Quint hired several weeks ago. He’s from Texas. San Antonio to be exact.”
“Hmm. Must be a trustworthy man for your family to want him staying in the house with you.”
“He’s a complete gentleman.”
The toe of Laurel’s cowboy boot tapped the air as she studied Alexa closely. “I hear fondness in your voice, Alexa. Tell me about this man.”
Alexa could feel her cheeks turning red, and it had nothing to do with vacillating hormones or the heat of the day. “There’s nothing to tell. He’s good-looking and intelligent and polite and—”
Laurel smiled knowingly. “And you like him. A lot.”
> Alexa nodded.
“Good! This is the best news I’ve heard from you in months!”
Rising to her feet, Alexa began to meander aimlessly around the small room. “You think so? I think I’m acting like an idiot. Again.”
“Why?”
Groaning, Alexa thrust a hand through her wavy hair. “Laurel, I’m in no condition to be looking at a man in—well—that way. But there’s something about him that I just can’t seem to resist. God knows, you’ve heard me say time and time again that I’d never fall for another cowboy, but this one is—”
“Different? Special?” Laurel finished for her.
“Yes,” Alexa answered sheepishly, then groaned again. “Oh, Laurel, I think—I’m afraid I’m falling in love with the man!”
“So what’s so terrible about that?” Laurel wanted to know. “He certainly sounds like a wonderful dream compared to that stuffed shirt you had in Santa Fe. Finally, finally, it sounds like you’re coming to your senses and looking at a man that’s right for you.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to say that.” Alexa rested her hip on one corner of the desk. An arm’s length away sat a framed picture of Laurel’s twin sister, who died at the age of twelve. The photo reminded Alexa that she hardly owned the market on heartache. Laurel and her family had been dealt plenty of their own.
Her friend said, “I suppose there’s an explanation for that doubt crawling across your face.”
Groaning, Alexa replied, “Look, Laurel, Jonas has already been married once. That turned out badly, and he’s said in not so many words that he doesn’t want to repeat the experience. Besides that, I’m not so sure he’s looking at me in the same way I’m looking at him.”
Laurel chuckled. “Is this cowboy blind?”
Alexa rolled her eyes and patted her rotund waistline. “My dear friend, do I look like I could attract a man?” She glanced down at the bottle she was gripping with both hands. “Besides,” she added somberly, “I’m about to be a single mother. Lots of men aren’t willing to take on a ready-made family.”
“If that’s the way this Jonas thinks, then he isn’t worth the energy it would take to kick his backside.” Leaning forward, Laurel bent her head in an attempt to peer up at Alexa’s lowered face. “Is that really the sort of man he is?”
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