by Pizzi, Jenna
“You need to keep your distance. I won’t get anything done if you keep doing that.”
He laughed as he sipped his coffee.
“That’s the general idea,” he teased.
She grew quiet, and she emptied her cup into the sink. He looked at her.
“What just happened?” he asked her with growing concern.
“Nothing, Ethan, I just I don’t know what this is that we are doing here, but I don’t expect you to stop living your life for me.”
“Becca, I don’t know what just happened, but I am living. You make me feel more alive than I have ever felt. If you are telling me to forget you, and this, it’s not going to happen.”
“I need to get going, Ethan. Emily is expecting me to open the shop. I really have to go.”
She turned and walked upstairs. She stripped off her nightgown and jumped in the shower. She dressed in a floral skirt and coral-colored t-shirt. When she walked back into the kitchen she expected Ethan to be there, but he was nowhere to be seen. She looked out in the driveway, and his car was gone. He had left.
Feeling a little let down, she grabbed her pocketbook and headed to her car. She drove to the harbor and parked her car in her usual spot. She walked to the store and found herself looking down the street at Ethan’s door, but she saw no signs of anyone there. Disappointed, she opened the shop and walked in. She flipped on the lights and turned on the cash register. Emily arrived within the hour. She was all smiles.
“What?” Rebecca asked.
“Nothing, it’s just that I saw Ethan’s car at your house this morning.”
“Please don’t, Emily.”
“Don’t? Come on, this is huge. He stayed the night at your house.”
“Yeah and then I scared him off this morning. He left without saying anything.”
“What did you do?”
“Well, we had just finished…you know, and then I kind of wigged out. I basically told him that he shouldn’t wait around for me, that he should go out and live his life. Then I told him I had to get ready for work. By the time I got showered, he was gone.”
“Becca, honey, you have to get over your fear of intimacy. It’s no wonder. He has some pretty deep feelings developing for you, and you basically slammed the door in his face. You bruised his ego. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“I think maybe it’s for the best. The kids come back this weekend. I can’t exactly carry on like this once they are here. It’s not right. I’m a mom.”
“Ugh, Becca, sometimes I want to shake you. You are also a woman. You can’t forget that.”
The day passed by. The store stayed busy with all the tourists. By the early afternoon, Rebecca noticed Ethan walking down the street on the opposite side. Her heart sank; she knew he was avoiding the store so that he wouldn’t have to see her. She tried to keep herself busy and not to think about him. By closing, all she could think about was Ethan.
Emily laughed, and told her, “Go to him. Don’t wait for him. You hurt him, so you fix it.”
They were about to leave the store when Tasha called Rebecca’s phone. Rebecca couldn’t make out anything that she was saying, she was crying to hard.
“Rebecca, please come over, I need you.”
“We’re on our way, sweetie.” Rebecca hung up the phone and told Emily that something was wrong with Tasha.
They took Emily’s car and hurried over. The door was unlocked and they rushed inside. Tasha was on the kitchen floor, crying hysterically. Rebecca and Emily fell to the floor on both sides of her and wrapped their arms around her.
“What is it, Tasha? What happened?” Rebecca asked.
Tasha couldn’t stifle her cry. She cried harder because her friends were now there. Emily wiped Tasha’s eyes with a tissue and pulled her hair out of her face.
When Tasha calmed down enough, she looked at her two best friends. “I have cervical cancer.”
She waited for her friends to react before she continued.
“My pap smear came back irregular. They took another swab and rushed the test. It came back positive for abnormal cells. I went for an ultrasound and I have tumors that are now riddled throughout my entire cervix and uterus. It’s not good.”
They all sat in silence, speechless, not knowing how to respond to such a bomb shell. Rebecca swallowed the lump in her throat.
“What happens next? I mean, surgery or chemo therapy?”
Tasha wiped her eye and looked into Becca’s sad brown eyes.
“Surgery, I have to check into Brigham and Woman’s at ten in the morning. They are going to give me a hysterectomy. Then I will have to go through two rounds of chemo. I can’t even wrap my mind around it. I won’t be able to have another baby, ever.”
Emily looked at her startled. “I didn’t know you wanted one.”
“Please, I get around your little bundles and I realize that in the back of my mind, I always hoped I’d meet Mr. Right and have another baby. That dream is over; I’ll only be half a woman. That is, if I survive all of this. There is a high probability that the cancer has already spread beyond the cervix and uterus. If that’s the case, it’s a death sentence.”
“Don’t talk like that, ever. You are the strongest woman that I know. You will do whatever you have to do to get healthy and we will be here for you throughout all of it. We’re not going anywhere.”
“I’m going to call James and tell him that I’m staying here. He has his mother, so the kids will be fine. We have an appointment in Boston tomorrow, so I can’t go with you, but I’ll meet up with you afterward.”
“Emily, I love you and appreciate all that you are offering, but you have your own family to worry about. It’s a big day for Andrew. I don’t expect you to be with me.”
“I’ve got you covered. After you get out of the hospital, you are going to stay with me. You can’t stay alone. Ashlee can bunk with Riley, they will love it, and you can recover in my guest room,” Rebecca told her.
“I don’t want to impose on you. You don’t need two extra people to worry about. Besides, you now have Ethan, how does he fit into this?”
“Tasha you have been my friend for over twenty years, there is nothing that could keep me away. We have been through hell and back together, and somewhere along the way, we scooped up Emily for the ride, but the three of us stick together through everything, this is no different.”
Tasha hugged her two best friends and cried. They stayed huddled in the kitchen until all the crying stopped. It took hours, but they finally stood up.
They spent the night curled up in Tasha’s king-sized bed, comforting her. No one knew what tomorrow would bring, but for tonight they were just three friends being there for one another.
Emily hugged her friends goodbye as she walked to her car.
“I’ll call Rebecca’s phone when I am through with Andrew’s appointment, and then I’ll have James drop me off at Brigham and Woman’s. I love you both, and Tasha, I will be praying for you every second.” She blew them a kiss goodbye and drove off down the street.
“Do we need to pack you a bag? Where is Ashlee? Don’t you think she should be here just in case?” Rebecca kept asking.
“I can’t do that to her. I don’t want to worry her more than I have to. She’s with Richard, and he’ll keep her busy. I should pack a bag, I just don’t care to,” Tasha said in a saddened tone.
Rebecca packed what she thought would be necessary: toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, hairbrush, makeup (it is Tasha we’re talking about), and comfy, loose fitting clothes, such as her cotton capris, some loose t-shirts, and her bathrobe. She found Tasha sitting at the table staring at some paperwork.
“What is all that?” Rebecca asked.
“Hospital forms, insurance forms, my health care proxy, and my will.”
“Do you want me to hang on to all of those? I’ll put them in your bag.”
“Thanks, sweetie. I need to call my office and have all my cases transferred to my partner. I didn’t have
much of a chance to call. This happened all so fast. That’s how you know it’s bad, when the doctors immediately want to cut you open,” Tasha grumbled.
“They just want to take every precaution. The sooner they start, the sooner you can beat this thing.” Rebecca tried to boost her spirit.
Tasha quietly walked into the other room to make a few last minute phone calls. Rebecca took the opportunity to call Gloria at the shop next to Solstice and ask her to hang a sign on the door explaining that they would not be open today. Gloria sent her best wishes to Tasha and told her not to worry about a thing.
Rebecca found herself checking to see if she might have had a text or voice message from Ethan. They hadn’t talked since yesterday morning, and she knew he must still be pretty upset with her. She debated calling him, just to hear his voice and tell him about Tasha, but she realized that he hardly even knew her, so she found herself calling Jack. He picked up on the second ring.
“Hey Becca, what’s going on?” The background was filled with loud bells and screams from the amusement rides.
“I shouldn’t have called, but…Tasha has cancer. She’s going into surgery today, and I’m…scared. I know I shouldn’t have called, but I didn’t know who else to talk to.”
“I’m glad you called. I’ll call the airline and change our tickets. I can have us home later today. We’ll meet you at the hospital.”
“Jack, you don’t have to do that. I don’t want you to do that.”
“It’s done. I just did it while we were taking. We’ll be there in a few hours. Give her my best and we’ll see you soon.”
Rebecca hung up the phone and began crying. It all seemed so surreal. Her best friend had cancer and she was starting to see how fragile life was.
Her thoughts were cut off when the door flew open and Ashlee began screaming for her mother.
“Mom, where are you?” She was crying uncontrollably. She saw Rebecca in the kitchen and ran to her and threw her arms around her. “Is it true, Aunt Becca? Does she really have cancer?” She asked her.
“Yes, baby.” She held the girl’s face in her hands and looked into her dark eyes. Ashlee suddenly seemed so young. “She’ll beat this, hun. She’s the strongest person I know.”
Tasha walked into the kitchen and Ashlee flew into her arms.
“Why weren’t you going to tell me? How could you even think about going through this without me there? What if something happened to you and I didn’t get to see you?”
“You are absolutely right, kiddo. I just thought I was protecting you. I want you there if you want to be there.”
“Yes, Mom!” They clung together and cried in each other’s arms.
Richard walked in the room and stood off to the side watching the exchange between mother and child. Tasha opened up her arm and called Richard into a hug. Rebecca noticed that he couldn’t control his emotions, either. He grabbed onto Tasha and Ashlee and they stood in an embrace.
Rebecca finally had to point out the time.
“I hate to break this up, but we need to leave if she’s going to make her appointment on time.”
Richard rubbed Tasha’s back and looked over at Rebecca.
“I’ll drive all of us. There is no point in separate cars.”
“OK,” she responded. They all rode in silence into Boston.
They got Tasha checked in and brought her into a private room. The nurse told her to change into a hospital gown and get settled. She told her that she would be in to draw blood from her and that they had to run a series of tests to verify that she was cleared for surgery. Tasha excused herself and changed in the bathroom. When she came back out she looked like a child, so scared and small.
The nurse returned almost instantaneously and set up her kit next to the bed. She tied the tourniquet around Tasha’s arm and inserted the needle. Ashlee buried her face in her father’s shoulder. She couldn’t stand the sight of blood.
When the nurse was finished she asked, “Do you have a health care proxy? I just want to be sure you have everything lined up.”
Tasha signaled to Richard, and Richard pulled out the copies.
“Everything is right here.” The nurse thanked him and then turned back to Tasha.
“The test should only take about an hour, the surgeon will be in to speak to you himself. We should be good to go by one o’clock.”
Tasha thanked the nurse and Ashlee jumped into the bed and curled up with her like she did when she was a little girl. Tasha pulled her daughter tightly to her and Rebecca excused herself from the room to allow Ashlee to have a few minutes alone with her mother. Richard followed her out into the hall.
“This is very surreal,” he told her.
“You can say that again. We just have to think positive.”
“Riley sent a text to Ashlee; I guess they’ll be here about the time Tasha goes into surgery,” Richard told her. “That’s how Ashlee found out. I wasn’t going to tell her, but I’m glad she has this time with her mother.”
“I’m so sorry, Richard. I called Jack, Riley must have heard. I didn’t mean for either one to find out like this.
They noticed a man walking into Tasha’s room. He pulled up a seat next to her, so Richard and Rebecca entered the room.
“Hello, Tasha, I am Doctor Milian. I will be performing your surgery this afternoon. There are a few things I would like to discuss with you, and I have a few forms that need to be signed.”
Richard stepped forward and took the forms from the doctor to look over.
“Well, your procedure is one of the most common ones that we do here at Brigham and Woman’s. We are a state-of-the-art facility with the top of the line equipment. You have two options to consider. The first is abdominal surgery in which we make an incision across the abdomen that would run from six to twelve inches. The surgery takes several hours, and the recuperation time is quite extensive. We offer a new technique in our facility now. It is called the “Da Vinci Robotic System.” What that means is that we have two interactive mechanical arms, a camera arm, a 3D image processing system, and a remote control unit. The motions of the Doctor are then translated to the robotic arm. Each robotic arm consists of multiple appendages connected by joints. The hand of the robot holds interchangeable surgical instruments that can be moved in a manner similar to the human wrist. The advantages are that we make several one to two centimeter incisions instead of one long one. So it will have less scarring. Your recovery time will be cut in half to a week or two, allowing you to return to your daily activities faster. There is also less blood loss and fewer complications.”
Richard cut him off.
“So you are saying that no human hands would be touching her? You expect us to believe that a remote controlled robotic arm is going to do what the human hand can do? What is the failure rate of something like that?”
The doctor turned to Richard and nodded his head.
“I understand your hesitation, of course, like any surgery, there are always risks. So far, the Robotic system has less of a failure rate than traditional abdominal surgery. It allows the surgeon to sit comfortably and the robotic arm remains steady at all times. There will be a doctor standing by the mechanism, supervising, available to take over at any second.”
Tasha perked up.
“Well I don’t need to think about it, I want that.”
“Now, Tasha, wait,” Richard called out.
“Richard, this is my life we’re talking about. I get to make the decisions now. This is the way to go.”
Dr. Milian interrupted.
“We are the only facility in the Northeast that utilizes this machine. Our success rate is one hundred percent so far.”
“So far…Did you hear that Tasha? So far,” Richard threw in.
“Just give me the forms to sign. I choose this option.” Tasha reached out for the forms.
Ashlee didn’t budge from her mother’s side, and Rebecca sat in a nearby chair taking in everything that she was hearing.
&
nbsp; Dr. Milian then pulled out another form.
“Well now, on to the bigger issue at hand,” he began.
Richard let out a sigh.
“Your blood tests show that it would be in your best interest to begin radiation before and after your surgery. I am recommending external radiation therapy. It is a machine similar to that of an x-ray machine, which beams radiation onto the body where the cancer is located. It doesn’t take long, and if we begin now, we may stand a better chance of killing all the cells.”
“So you want me to start now?” Tasha asked.
“I think it would be the wisest decision,” Dr. Milian responded.
Tasha looked from Richard to Rebecca.
“This is all real?” She put her arm around her daughter and pulled her to her. “I love you guys. If anything should happen to me…”
“No, Mom, you don’t get to say that. You are going to be fine. People get cancer every day and live to tell about it. You are going to be fine.”
“You have a very smart daughter there; you should really listen to her,” The doctor told her. “I am going to send an orderly in to wheel you down to the radiation room.”
The doctor left, and there were no words to express what each one was thinking. Rebecca sat on the edge of the bed and gripped her best friend’s hand. Tasha squeezed back.
“You are going to make me cry, so don’t start, Becca,” Tasha practically whispered to her.
“I can’t help it. I just never in a million years expected either one of us to go through something like this.”
“I hear ya, sister. It always happens to someone else, right?”
“Mom, you’re going to be fine.” Ashlee said.
“How’d I get so lucky to have such a great kid?” She looked at Richard, who was welling up with tears. “At least we did one thing right, huh?”
He walked over to her and hugged her.
“I’ll always love you, you know that. No one will ever be you, Tasha, no one.”
The orderly came in and pushed the wheelchair over to the bed.
“Well, I guess my ride is here. Hopefully the next time you see me, I’ll be…alive.”