by Pizzi, Jenna
“Then we’ll go to counseling. I’ll change; I’ll be that man you always wanted me to be.”
She took a deep breath and ran her hand along the side of his face.
“Oh, Jack, I wish I could believe you, I really do, but we can’t go back.”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly to him. He could hear his breathing change, and she felt something wet land on her shoulder. She knew that he was crying. She rubbed his back and waited until he was ready to let her go.
He wiped his face and backed slowly away. He walked to the door and held it open. He turned back and looked at Rebecca.
“I’m not giving up on us. I’ll prove to you that I really will change. I‘ll show you that I am still the man you fell in love with. I’m not giving up on you, Becky.”
“Goodnight, Jack. Drive careful.” She didn’t have anything else to say to him. She closed the door and locked it behind her. She leaned against it and didn’t know how she was supposed to feel. A few weeks ago, she would have done anything to keep her family together, but now, now she had other factors at play. Now she was finally putting the pieces of her life together. She didn’t want to fall back in old routines just because she was feeling vulnerable after today. She flipped off the outside lights and watched as Jack’s big pickup pulled away.
Adam was sitting at the top of the stairs watching everything. He suddenly stood up and yelled downstairs, “Why wouldn’t you let dad come home? He wants to come home, and it’s you saying no. I hate you.” He ran down the hall and slammed the door shut.
Rebecca was at a loss for words. She never should have allowed Jack to come in tonight. If she’d had any way of knowing what Jack’s ulterior motives were, she never would have allowed it. She knew that divorce was difficult on kids anyway, but now that Adam was close to Jack, she knew how bad it must have looked when she sent Jack home.
She hurried up the stairs and knocked on Adam’s door. “Go away!” He yelled at her.
“Adam, will you please let me come in and talk to you?”
There was no movement for a minute, and then she heard him move the bureau that he had blocking the door. The door slowly creaked open and Rebecca took the opportunity to walk in.
Adam was curled up on his bed. She could tell by his puffy red eyes that he had been crying.
“Oh, sweetie, you need to understand that just because your dad and I aren’t together anymore, it doesn’t mean that we don’t love you, or that we won’t be there for you. We always will be there for you and your sister.”
“But he wants to come home. He’s been saying it for a while now. I heard him tell Amber that he still loves you. That’s why she left. I want Dad to come home.”
She grabbed hold of Adam and held him tight.
“I know, baby. I know you do. It’s been a really hard day today, Adam. We’ll talk about this some other time. I just want you to know that I love you very much. You’re my baby.”
“I’m not a baby, Mom. I’m ten.”
She laughed. “I know you are, but to me you will always be my baby.”
“You’re not going to get sick and die like Aunt Tasha, are you?”
She felt the tears falling down her own cheeks.
“I hope not, baby. I certainly don’t plan on it.”
She held onto her son until he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep then gently laid him down and placed a blanket over him She stood watching him for a while before retreating to her own room. She tucked her head into the girls’ room, and blew them kisses. She then walked into her room and fell on top of her bed. Her body was exhausted. She didn’t even bother to make it to her pillow before she fell asleep, she didn’t move at all the entire night.
Rebecca dropped Adam off with Jack at the garage. Jack dropped what he was doing and hurried over to them when he saw them. He gave knuckles to Adam and told him that he could help him work on the cars. Adam was excited to learn about cars, and Jack seemed to like the idea of having a shadow follow him around.
“I’m dropping the girls off with Emily at the store. I figured that they could help her out for a while. If you can pick them up later on, I’d appreciate it.”
“Yeah, whatever you need. Do you want me to bring them home or keep them at the apartment?” She noticed how he hesitated saying the word apartment.
“I guess the house will be fine. I don’t want to make things too hard on them.”
“I’ll cook dinner then. Maybe I’ll run by Piantedosi’s and pick up some steaks to grill…if that’s alright with you?”
“It’s your grill. I don’t know how to use it. I don’t know when I’ll be back, though.”
“I’ll be there as long as you need, Becca.”
He never called her Becca. He always called her Becky; she wondered what that was all about.
“Thanks, Jack. I’ll talk to you later. I’m going to head over to the hospital and see Tasha.”
He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He didn’t wait around to see if she would react badly. He ruffed up Adam’s hair and led him into the garage.
Rebecca didn’t know how to feel. Her emotions seemed to be on pause. Emily was right; she knew that the familiarity of Jack helped. She turned back on her heels and walked to her car. The girls were sitting in the backseat playing a game on their phones.
“Hey, Mom, can we have some money so we can walk around the harbor later?”
“Sure, Riley. I’ll see what I have.”
She pulled the car out of the parking lot and drove to the harbor.
Luckily, there was a spot not too far from the store. The girls hurried out of the car and scurried down the sidewalk. Rebecca was trying to grab everything she needed, and she was fumbling through her pocket book when out of the corner of her eye she saw a couple sitting at an outside café across the street. She spotted Ethan sitting cozily with a young woman in a business suit. A strange pang of jealousy ran through her. She had no right at all. He had every right to date whomever he wanted. She couldn’t help but let her mind wander, she wondered if it was a ‘morning after’ breakfast. She looked away before she got caught staring, and hurried into Solstice.
“Good morning,” she called out to everyone.
Emily was over by a rack of handmade jewelry and she looked over at her.
“Is it? I don’t feel like being here.”
“I know. Are you sure you will be alright with the girls hanging around?”
“Sure! I love hanging out with them, right girls?”
They barely looked up from their phones. Emily cracked up laughing.
Rebecca pulled out two twenty dollar bills and handed one to each girl.
“Here is for lunch. Anything more and you can work it off with your aunt here.” She winked at Emily.
“Absolutely, I have a whole back room full of things to be stickered and stocked, so if you girls get it done, I’ll set you free for a while.”
They were like zombies as they walked into the back room. Emily walked over to Rebecca and hugged her.
“Are you holding up alright?”
“I’m trying. I guess I’m still in shock. I don’t know how to act around her.”
“Just act the way you always do. If you act different, she’ll know something’s up.”
“You’re right, as usual.”
“Oooh that sounds like something else is driving that comment. What’s up, chickie?”
“I just saw Ethan outside at the Corner Café with another woman. I guess the opportunity passed.”
“OK, first, serves you right. Second, you don’t know what it is. He is a business owner, perhaps it’s a business breakfast. Instead of assuming, call him.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say; besides I have to go. Tasha is going to need us. The timing is just all wrong.”
“The timing is not wrong. Your attitude is. Do you think Tasha would want you to lose out on an opportunity to find happiness? Hell no! It’s obvious you have quiet
the chemistry with Ethan. Why would you just let that go?”
“He hasn’t tried to call me, either. Maybe he smartened up and realized that it’s easier to find someone younger who doesn’t have the baggage that I do.”
“The only baggage you carry is your own insecurities. You are one hell of a sexy woman. You just need to let yourself see it. You’ve already changed since meeting Ethan. He’s done more for you in a short time than Jack did in almost two decades. Whatever! I’m done lecturing. I have work to do. Call me from the hospital.” She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “Goodbye.”
Rebecca walked out the door and slowly made her way to the car. She looked one last time over in the direction of Ethan. Her heart still skipped a beat when she looked at him. He was so handsome, and his eyes managed to melt right through her layers of doubt. As if he sensed her, he looked in her direction. Their eyes made contact and she quickly got in her car and started it. She was embarrassed. She hoped he didn’t think she was spying on him. She quickly pulled out onto Court Street and headed in the opposite direction from where Ethan was sitting.
In her mirror she could see that he rose from his chair and had hurried over to the sidewalk.
“Oh God,” she thought to herself. “He probably thinks I’m some whack job now.” She drove off without looking back in her mirror again. What she didn’t see was Ethan throwing his arms up in frustration that he had missed her.
Tasha was sound asleep when Rebecca got to the hospital. She settled into a chair in the corner of the room. There were a few magazines, but she couldn’t concentrate on any of them. The extent of her reading was just skimming the pictures. She closed the magazine and paced around the room for a while.
“If you pace any more, you’ll wear a hole in the ground,” Tasha groggily teased her.
Rebecca quickly turned to her best friend.
“Oh, Tasha. Did I wake you up?”
“No babe. I’ve been in and out of it. My body is just tired, but my mind is fully awake.”
Rebecca sat on the edge of the bed and grasped her friend’s hand.
“I’ve been so worried about you.”
“I know I’m dying, sweetie. You don’t have to candy coat anything with me.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
“Just lay here with me,” Tasha said.
Rebecca laid down in the bed beside her best friend as they had done so many times in their lives. She grasped Tasha’s hand and just held on to it. Neither one spoke. No words were needed. It was one of those moments when silence was all that was required. They clung to each other until the nurse entered the room.
“Hello, ladies. I don’t want to break this up, but Natasha needs her rest. I’m going to be giving her a little something to help her fall asleep. She’ll be fine until tomorrow. You can come back then.”
Rebecca hesitated; she didn’t want to leave Tasha. She leaned in and kissed her.
“You’ll be out of here soon, and we’ll figure it out. I promise. We’ll find something.”
“I know baby. I’m no quitter. I’ll fight to the very end. You know that.”
“I hope so, Tash. I need you.” Rebecca turned away before Tasha noticed the tears falling.
“I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you, Tasha.”
“I love you, too,” Tasha said as her eyes closed again. She was lulled back into a deep, drug- induced sleep.
Ethan had waited until the girls had left Solstice before he took his opportunity to run in the store. He couldn’t help but notice that one of the girls looked just like Rebecca; he knew instantly that she was her daughter. He smiled to himself as he watched them saunter off down the street, turning heads as they went.
He entered the store and he heard the bell on the door chime. Emily walked out from the back room and smiled when she saw Ethan.
“Boy oh boy, your ears must have been ringing earlier”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, Ethan. Where you are concerned, it’s not.” She placed some of her items on the glass shelves near the front window. “Although, you were spotted having an early breakfast with a hot, young woman.”
Ethan smiled coyly and made a small grumbling sound.
“I knew that’s why Becca looked at me strangely. That was a business meeting. She’s a potential agent.”
“I knew it was something like that,” Emily commented. “Why haven’t you called her then?”
“Well, I showed up at her house, but her family was there. I also had the liberty of meeting Jack in person. He wasn’t too thrilled with my being there.”
“That bastard,” Emily started banging things around on the shelf.
“Did I say something?” Ethan asked with growing concern.
“No, I just knew that it was something along the lines of that. Jack is Jack and he’s not going to like the idea of Becca moving on. Becca has quite a history with him. You need to know that she’s just trying to figure things out as she goes.”
“I know that, Emily. I’m not trying to rush her, obviously. I’ve been treading lightly around her. I’m well aware of the walls she’s built up. I have no problem helping her break it down brick by brick if, in the end, there is a new beginning.”
“Wow, Ethan, that’s very poetic.” Emily clasped an angel figurine to her chest.
“Please, you give me far too much credit. Do you know I hadn’t been able to pick up a paint brush for a long time before I met her? When I saw her sitting at the East Bay Grille, the way she looked and the way the light cascaded off of her...I just knew I had to know her. It was instant inspiration.”
“So you are painting again?”
“I can’t stop! I spend most of my days in the studio now. I figured while she’s figuring everything out, I’d give her space.”
“So then you don’t know about Tasha? You haven’t heard around town?” Emily asked him.
“NO! What?”
“She has cervical cancer. She had surgery, but the doctor told us that the surgery didn’t remove all the cancer. It has already spread too far in her body. She’s dying.” Emily started to cry.
“Oh, Emily, I had no idea. I knew I hadn’t seen her around, but I hadn’t heard.”
“Becca and Tasha have known each other since freshman year in high school. She’s taking it very hard. The kids came back from Florida early, after they found out. That’s the reason why Jack was over there. It wasn’t because he’s back there. She’s just having a really hard time, and when Tasha gets out of the hospital she’s going to be staying at Becca’s.”
“Do you think Becca would want to see me? I should go see her, right?” Ethan asked questioningly.
“I personally think that’s exactly what Becca needs.”
“I’ll head over later on tonight once everyone is settled in for the night,” Ethan told her. He grasped Emily’s hand and held it. “I’ll do whatever any of you need. I actually have a friend who owns a healing center in town. They do things like tong ren, chi gung, and reiki. I have heard some pretty amazing stories of people who have made miraculous recoveries.”
“I’ve heard people talk about stuff like that, but I’ve never really read up on it. You should make sure you tell Becca about all of that. She needs something to hope for.” Emily wiped her face with her tissue.
A customer walked into the store and smiled at them.
“Well, I’d better get back. You take care, Emily, and if you need anything, you know where to find me.”
“Sure thing, Ethan. Thanks! She watched him walk out and smiled to herself. She knew that Ethan was Becca’s future, even if Becca didn’t know it yet.
Rebecca tucked Adam into bed. She kissed him gently on his forehead and walked out of the room. He was still angry with her about the whole Jack situation. She had to admit that she herself was feeling conflicted. She had a long history with Jack. They had been through hell and back together, and somewhere along the line, they just stopped. They stopped tryi
ng, they stopped loving, and they stopped talking. She had loved him from the moment they first met. She had always thought that they would last forever, but there are some hurts you can’t get past, no matter how you try to fix them.
She walked down the hall and poked her head into Riley’s room. She was sitting at her desk typing on her computer.
“Hey, sweetie, whatcha doing?”
Riley looked up at her mom and smiled.
“Hi, Mom. I have a book report for summer reading on Marie Antoinette.”
“Oh. What did you think of the book?” Rebecca asked her.
“I’m a little indifferent. I honestly don’t enjoy reading historical works. I had a hard time forcing myself to make it to the end.”
“Well, maybe when you are a little older you will appreciate it. It’s not Twilight.”
Riley let out a laugh.
“Yeah, definitely not. Now if I could have had credit for all of those books.”
“Well, I’ll let you get back. Don’t stay up too late. You have to help at Solstice tomorrow.”
Rebecca turned to walk out of the room when Riley called out to her.
“Hey, Mom?”
“Yeah baby?”
“It really sucks what Aunt Tasha is going through. It just shows that you never know what life is going to throw at you, especially after losing Brian the way we did.”
Rebecca hurried to Riley and wrapped her arms around her.
“You don’t have to talk about him, Riley.”
“I know, but if I had just stayed home and babysat him, he’d still be here.”
“Riley, you know that you had nothing to do with it. It was a horrible accident. I live with it every day. If I hadn’t been selfish and gone shopping with Tasha and Emily he’d still be here. There are so many what ifs. We can’t live in what ifs.”
“I know, Mom. It’s just hard sometimes. If Brian hadn’t died, would you and Dad have gotten divorced? Or would we still be a family?”
“Oh baby! I don’t have an answer to that. Your dad and I had our own problems. We can’t change the past; we just have to move forward. I am thankful every day that you and Adam are healthy and we have each other, that’s what matters.”