by Pizzi, Jenna
They slowly said their goodbyes and walked out into the hall. Adam was crying out for Rebecca. It took Ethan and Jack to keep her from running back in there to her son. Jack shook his head, “we can’t interfere. We could get arrested if we go against the orders until the evaluation is done.”
“I can’t do this Jack. I almost lost him yesterday. I can’t do this.”
She wanted to hit someone. She wanted to scream out. Jack looked to Ethan and Ethan understood without words what he needed to do. He wrapped her in his arms until she calmed herself down. She finally lost her fight. She took a deep breath and they all walked out of the hospital together.
Jack turned to his daughter, “do you want to come with me?”
“I just want to go home to my own bed, Dad. Maybe we can meet up later for lunch or dinner.”
He kissed Riley on her forehead and then gently rubbed Rebecca’s arm. He patted Ethan on his back and climbed into his truck. Rebecca and Riley climbed into Ethan’s BMW and they set out to Rebecca’s house.
They entered in through the kitchen. Riley hugged her mother, “I’m exhausted and just want to lie in my own bed. I’ll see you guys in a while. I love you mom!”
“I love you too Riley.”
Riley left the room and closed her bedroom door.
Ethan walked up and wrapped his arms around Rebecca. “Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty or hungry?”
She had her head resting on his chest. She could hear the comforting sounds of the rhythm of his heartbeat. “I just want to lie down with you. I just need to be held.”
“You got it!”
He led her up the stairs and she kicked off her shoes. He climbed on her bed and pulled her into the crook of his arm. She closed her eyes and loved the slow movement of his breathing. It soothed her.
“Remind me to thank whoever cleaned up the kitchen when all of this is over.”
She closed her eyes and fell into a deep, stress-induced sleep.
The phone startled Rebecca out of a deep sleep. She looked at the clock and it read four in the afternoon. “Hello” she answered. She couldn’t hear a word that was being spoken.
“Slow down Tasha what are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m trying to say that my cancer has not progressed. It has not gotten worse. Don’t you see that Tong Ren is working, it really is. Micah and I are doing it on a daily basis now. I swear to you Becca it’s healing me.”
“That’s wonderful news Tasha. I’m so happy to hear it. When are you going back again?” Becca asked.
“I go back in three weeks. Unless, of course if I should feel worse. I know that won’t happen.”
“That’s great news Tasha. I am absolutely stunned. It is a miracle.”
“It’s not a miracle Becca, it’s the Tong Ren. I swear it has changed my life. The doctors had all but given up on me, and now….there is no denying what the tests say.”
“There was silent moment. “So, what is happening with Adam?”
Rebecca sighed. “They are evaluating him over the next….” She looked at the clock. “The next sixty four hours now.”
“That’s tough. What happens after that?”
“I’m not sure yet. It depends on what they come up with. I just want this to be over. It’s killing me to know I can’t even talk to him. I just want to hold him and tell him that it will be alright.”
Ethan kissed her on her shoulder and left her to talk to her friend.
“You know, he’s a tough cookie. He’ll be just fine.”
“Why didn’t I see this coming? How could I not realize my own son was depressed?”
“Because he is at that age, Becca. It’s all hormones and puberty. No one would have suspected this. It is certainly not your fault.”
“I feel like a failure as a parent. I feel like I can’t protect them.”
“You are a fabulous mother. You always have been. What happened to Brian was nobody’s fault, and what is happening with Adam is not your fault. You need to realize this yourself or you’ll be no good to your son.”
“Alright, I know. I need to be strong. The next two and a half day are going to be very long.”
“It’s what you have us for, and Ethan. Take advantage of it. I have to run now, Ashlee is calling through. I love you and keep your head up.”
“Tasha, I’m really glad that you are doing well. It’s wonderful news.”
They hung up the phone and she crawled out of bed. She poked her head in Riley’s room, and Riley was still sound asleep. So, walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where she smelt a delicious aroma emanating from the kitchen. She walked in with her arms across her chest and forced a smile on her face when she saw Ethan wearing the apron her kids had given her for mother’s day.
Ethan looked over at her and struck a pose.]
“How do I look?” He had one hand on his hip and a spatula in the other pointed up in the air. Rebecca couldn’t help but laugh at how easy it was to be around Ethan. Riley came bombing down the stairs and stopped short when she spotted Ethan’s pose.
“Nice! That’s a very becoming look for you, Ethan.” She hugged her mother and walked to the refrigerator. Ethan never faltered. He took Riley’s comment to mean that she accepted him.
“If you ladies don’t mind, you can sit at the table and dinner will be done shortly. I have prepared crispy fried chicken with roasted red potatoes and asparagus on the side.”
Riley licked her lips. “Sounds great!” she commented.
Rebecca grabbed some napkins and silverware and set the table.
Ethan served the dishes and sat at the table. Riley dug right in. She stuffed a potato in her mouth and barely bothered to chew. She cut a piece of chicken and popped it into her mouth. “Oh my god Ethan this is to die for.” She looked over at her mother, “he is a total keeper. He paints, he cooks, and he’s super sweet. If you don’t marry him mom, I will.”
Rebecca nearly choked on her asparagus as she listened to her daughter ramble on. Riley covered her mouth and blushed.
“Sorry, was that too much?”
Ethan winked at her and smiled gently at Rebecca. She hadn’t really thought of marriage at all. She knew that she loved what she had with Ethan, but it was still so new. She picked at a piece of chicken and placed it in her mouth.
The next two days dragged on. Riley started her senior year in high school. She was a day late in returning, but the school understood with what had happened with Adam. Rebecca had to call Adam’s school and explain that she was hoping he’d be able to start within the week. They told her to just take care of him. Ethan had to go back to work at the gallery. He started classes for young artists in the afternoon so she didn’t hear from him until later in the evenings.
Emily was busy training her new employee, whom she was thrilled to have on board. The woman would drastically free up Emily’s time so she could be around for Andrew more.
Tasha was all consumed with the healing center, and Tong Ren. She was planning on meeting the man who created the concept of Tong Ren therapy, his name is Tom Tam. She wanted to learn from the man himself. It was all that Tasha would talk about other than Micah who seemed to have changed her life too.
Rebecca did what she always did when she had something on her mind, she wrote. Using the confusion and pain she herself was living through, she jotted it all down on paper. She did a lot of reading on childhood depression. She wanted to know everything she could so that when she walked into the doctor’s office she would have a full understanding of what lies ahead for her son.
She stood by the window in her study and looked out at the pond, the pond that nearly took her son’s life, the pond that will always serve as a reminder, day in and day out of her child trying to take his own life. She backed away from the window and looked around the room. The room held nothing but memories. Not many good ones, heartache and sorrow. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to sell the house. She didn’t want to be reminded of Brian’s deat
h. She wanted to remember him as her angel. She didn’t want Adam to see the pond and then be thrown right back into the depressed despair that consumed him. She wanted something new, something that would only hold new memories, good memories. She sat back down at her computer and Googled real estate agents. She picked up the phone and dialed.
Jack met her at the doctor’s office. They entered the room together and were shown to some seats. The woman told them that the doctor would be in soon to talk to them. Rebecca sat and fidgeted with the handle on her pocketbook. She was nervous. Jack looked at her and tried to give her a supportive smile, but on the inside he was just as nervous as she was.
The doctor entered the room with Carol Woods in tow. They took a seat across the table from them. Rebecca noticed how professional they looked, and it made her worried that she wasn’t going to like what they had to say.
“I know the last three days have been difficult for the both of you,” the doctor began. “We had a chance to run some tests and speak extensively with your son, Adam. He is in perfect health. There is no lasting damage from his incident. We have come to the conclusion that he suffers from depression and we feel that at this point he needs to begin a medication regimen.”
“You want to drug my ten year old?” Jack asked with a flip tone.
“I understand your apprehension, but he has already been cutting himself and he did try to commit suicide.” Carol said.
“Well, how about if we try therapy first? Is it really necessary to have him on medication?” Rebecca asked.
“There is a group home here in Plymouth that can offer him care.”
“You can stop right there.” Jack interrupted. “He’s not going to some group home. He’s not some troublemaker. He’s a kid who’s dealing with kid stuff.”
“We understand your concern Mr. Davis” Carol began. “They offer a stay retreat or in house therapy. I am recommending that Adam be seen three days a week to start. One of those days will be in a group setting so that he can learn that he is not alone in his feelings. The other two sessions will be one on one with a psychologist. It can be to help with homework while talking, playing games, it will not be the kind of therapy that you are thinking. He needs to learn how to cope with the pressures that he will be facing in the future. We will monitor his medications and his therapy. We will cut back as we see improvements to once a week, and then every other. We are trying to work with the child’s best interest, and I feel taking him away from his family will not be in his best interest. However, it will be a court ruling that you follow through or the state will intervene and he will be placed in the group home.” Carol told them.
Rebecca had a hard time swallowing what she was hearing. She couldn’t believe it. She just found herself nodding at what was being told to her. She signed paperwork, but all she could think about was seeing her son. “Are we done now? I’d like to take my son home?” she asked.
The doctor agreed and the social worker took all the forms. “We will bring him down to you” she told them.
Jack paced back and forth in the little conference room. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t want him to misread her intentions. She noticed that he seemed to have aged recently. Gray hair was growing in around his temples. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping much. She didn’t blame him, she wasn’t sleeping well either.
The door opened and Adam ran into the room. He ran to his mother and threw his arms around her. She told herself she wasn’t going to cry, but these were tears of happiness, not sorrow. She wrapped her arms around him and Jack hugged him too. Rebecca felt that this is what she wished she could do for him surround him and protect him as they were doing right now.
The doctor handed her a pill bottle and a script.
“This is his medication. I filled the first month and have written a script for the next six months. He is to take one in the morning and one around dinner time. Don’t skip doses, and keep them out of his reach. Be sure to monitor that he does take them. We have made the first appointment for later this afternoon with Dr. Owen. He will be expecting you by four this afternoon.”
They said their goodbyes and headed out to the parking lot. Jack walked them to their car and hugged Adam again. “I have to head into work bud. I will meet you at your appointment later on.”
Adam looked at him with sad gray eyes, “you mean you are going to come too?”
“Yeah buddy, I wouldn’t miss it.”
Adam got into the back of his mother’s car and put on his seatbelt. Jack walked Rebecca to her car door and opened it for her. “I’ll see you about three forty five then” she said to him. He nodded and then hurried off to his truck.
Rebecca pulled into her driveway and Adam didn’t make a move to get out. She turned to face him.
“What’s the matter, buddy?”
He looked over at the house, “I don’t want to go inside mom. I just don’t want to.”
Rebecca felt a chill run through her. She understood completely how he was feeling because she was feeling the same way. “Where should we go then?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Anywhere but here” he answered.
Rebecca knew that the phone call she made earlier was the right one. She knew it was too painful for any of them to remain in the house. “Do you want to go to Aunt Tasha’s house then?”
He shrugged his shoulders again and sat quietly. “What does that mean Adam?”
“Can we stay at dad’s apartment?”
She knew that this was going to be difficult for them.
“We can’t do that, sweetie. You can stay with your dad if you want, but I can’t.”
“Why? Why can’t we be a family again? Why can’t we just move somewhere and be a family again?” Tears began to fall down his cheeks.
Rebecca opened her car door and quickly got into the back seat. She grabbed hold of her son and pulled him to her. “Adam this has nothing to do with you. I hope you know that. Sometimes moms and dads just need to be apart in order to be better parents.”
He wasn’t buying it. “Is that why Dad spends time with me now?”
“He loves you Adam. We both do. We will both always be there for you.”
Adam stopped her from finishing her sentence. “Would you and dad still be together if Brian hadn’t died?”
“I…I can’t answer that sweetie.”
“So that means yes!” he cried even more.
“I didn’t say that. I don’t know what would have happened, but whether your father and I are together or if we are with someone else, it will never change us.”
“Is it because you are with someone else now?”
She knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later.
“Not because I am with someone else. I met Ethan after your father and I were already divorced. Ethan is very sweet and he wants to spend time with us.”
“But Dad will get upset. You got upset when dad had a girlfriend.”
“That was different. Your father and I were still married to one another. Never mind, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get better.”
“What if Ethan doesn’t like me or I don’t like him? Would you choose him over me?” Adam asked with worry behind his question.
“Never,” Rebecca called out. “You will always come first with me. Why don’t you wait until you get to know him? There is no rush, but I think you’ll really like him.”
“I doubt it,” he mumbled quietly.
“I’m going to take you to Aunt Tasha’s house and then I am going to come back here to meet Riley and pack up some of our things. Is there anything special you want me to bring?”
“No, none of it matters.”
She hugged him without saying anything. She knew she had a battle ahead of her and she just wanted to keep him safe.
She pulled into Tasha’s driveway and Tasha threw open the door. “Get over here little man. Give Auntie a big hug.”
Adam forced a smile and walked up to Tasha.
“Do you have any idea how much I missed you?” she looked over at Rebecca and knew that Rebecca wasn’t doing well.
“I set you up in the guest room upstairs. I put Ashlee’s Xbox in there for you. It’s all set up if you want to go and play?” He hurried up the stairs and into the guest room.
Rebecca closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I feel like I’ve been pushed in front of a bus.”
Tasha walked over to her and hugged her. “You are incredible. You are going to make it through this.”
“I can’t stand the sight of the house, and neither can Adam. I have to go get some stuff and I’m meeting a realtor. Can you keep an eye on him just until the girls get home? I’ll get Riley and head back here?”
“I don’t have a problem with that. I do have to be at the healing center at two, but he can come with me. He might like it.”
“Just watch him. He’s really depressed. They put him on an antidepressant, but it won’t be effective until it builds up in his body.”
“No problem. I’ve got your back, sista.”
She hugged Tasha again and jumped back into her car. She made it to her house just as the realtor was walking around the yard writing stuff on a piece of paper. She noticed Rebecca and plastered a huge grin on her face. “Hello there, you must be Rebecca. I am Renee Donovan. My agency sent me over. Can I just tell you that you have a pristine piece of property you have here. I won’t have any problems listing this. Actually, I may already have someone who will be interested. I have a client moving in from out of state and you meet all the prerequisites that they asked for. You even have the pond in the back that they said they’d love.”
“Is that so?” Rebecca said. “Well then let me show you the inside, I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible.”
The realtor looked at her strangely as she passed by her to enter the house. She did a quick tour and measured the rooms. “What are you hoping to sell it for?”
“I honestly don’t know. I am hoping to break even on a purchase of another house.” Renee perked right up, “So you are looking to buy also? I can help you with both. Do you have a place to stay if this sells first?”