by Nora Phoenix
“What if you—”
“Stop. You’re doing it again. You’re always expecting the worst, and I understand why, but you’ve got to stop. We are not happier without you. We are not in sync more with the three of us than with you. You saw what happened with Vieno when he was stressed out. You responded, too. He needed you as much as he needed me and Lidon. You sensed him, didn’t you?”
“I did… It’s just… What if that’s only because Vieno chose me but he made a mistake?”
“That’s a lie your brain is telling you. You belong with us, Doc, you know you do. You’re part of what makes us work, what makes us whole. You’re a part of me…”
The words grabbed him by his heart, shook him. How he wanted to believe this. Palani’s hand wrapped around his neck. “Tell me the truth, Doc. Tell me what you feel. Not what your brain is trying to convince you of, but what you sense deep down in your heart…”
With Palani’s kind, strong eyes focused on his, Enar allowed himself to open up to his feelings. He’d been shoving them down for so long, releasing them was like being swallowed whole by a sink hole, like being swept away by a flash flood.
But Palani was his foundation, the thing that he could grab hold to, that would prevent him from being sucked under. He’d been there from the beginning, a man who looked deeper than Enar had wanted him to, but without ever making him feel threatened. He’d chipped away at his defenses, enticing Enar to lower them one by one, simply by being himself. And he’d never judged, not even once. Instead, he’d offered quiet acceptance and…love.
Palani loved him. And he loved him right back.
“I love you,” he said, his voice filled with the wonder of the discovery. “I didn’t realize it, I swear, but I love you.”
Palani smiled, his breath teasing Enar’s lips. “I knew you did, Doc, but I’m glad you told me. We’ll figure it all out, I promise.”
Enar let himself be held, putting his head on Palani’s shoulder. “You really love me?” he asked.
“I do. Very much, in fact.”
Enar tried to let it sink in, but it was hard to wrap his mind around. Had he ever felt this loved? Probably not. Lidon loved him, sure, but it was different. More like friends, still, even though their relationship had changed as well. And Lidon had known him for years, so it was different. Palani loving him, that was…magical. Enar had been himself with the beta, more than with anyone else, and Palani had still fallen in love with him. Maybe that meant… That thought was so big, he hesitated to let it in. He’d have to think more about this, though Palani had been right about his thoughts deceiving him.
“How do I change the way I think about myself, about us?” he asked.
“You’re the doctor. Tell me how that works.”
Enar sighed, still wrapped in Palani’s arms. That in itself was a miracle, that he’d feel so safe in the arms of a man who was so much smaller than himself.
“It’s a neuro pattern, formed over time, like a deeply rooted cascade of thoughts. Each step triggers the next, like a well-oiled machine. In order to change that, you need to form a new thought-habit, create a new pattern.”
“And how do you do that when the brain is naturally resistant to a change of that magnitude?” Palani asked.
God, he excelled at asking the right questions, didn’t he? He had such a sharp brain, phenomenal analytical skills. Enar kept being impressed by him.
“Rewards. The original pattern formed because it was rewarded in some way, so a new pattern can be formed if you have enough of a reward to do so.”
“What would you like to be rewarded with, Doc? Tell me.”
Enar stood there on the parking lot next to the freeway, held tightly by a man much smaller than him while his mind found a peace he’d rarely experienced before, his heart growing like it was about to burst out of his chest. All because of Palani. Somehow, he’d found the key to Enar’s heart, to his emotions, to his real self.
“You,” he said. “You’re my reward. And Lidon and Vieno.” He lifted his head and leaned back. “I want this. Us. I didn’t realize how much until now, but I do. I’ve just been so scared to lose it again, to lose you…and Lidon and Vieno.”
Palani’s face broke open in a wide smile that made Enar stagger. His heart tripped, skipping a few beats before settling back in the rhythm.
“You’re not gonna lose us, Doc. You’re part of us. We’ll work through whatever fears you have until you feel what we do, I promise.”
He nodded, his eyes welling up. “Can you tell me you love me one more time?” he begged.
Palani grabbed his neck again, a gesture that never failed to make Enar feel safe. “As often as you want or need me to. I love you, Doc.”
The last doubts drifted away when Palani kissed him until every corner of his mouth was claimed and loved and his whole body sung with pleasure and contentment.
17
After his little run-in with Enar on the parking lot, Palani had messaged Melloni to inform him they’d be half an hour late. He hated arriving late, but in this case, it had been worth it. Something had changed in Enar, he felt it. The strong hand Enar had put on his thigh as soon as they’d started driving again had been proof. Of course, he’d fallen asleep right after, but Palani didn’t mind. The man needed his sleep, and Palani vowed he’d do a better job of taking care of Enar ‘cause clearly the man sucked at that himself.
He woke him up when he’d parked the car at Melloni’s research lab, Enar instantly awake as soon as Palani touched his shoulder.
“Damn, I fell asleep,” Enar said, his voice all guilty.
Palani leaned in for a quick kiss. “It’s all good, Doc. You needed it.”
Enar grabbed his neck when he wanted to pull back and Palani smiled against his mouth. “I’m not ready to let you go yet,” Enar whispered.
He kissed Palani again, a slow kiss this time. Palani’s neck hurt from the weird angle but he didn’t care. He bit Enar’s bottom lip and caught the little gasp that elicited. “Can’t get enough of me?” he teased.
Enar rubbed his stubble against Palani’s chin. “No. I need more.”
“After,” Palani promised. “First, we do this, and after…I’ll let you do whatever you want.”
“Palani…I’m not ready yet.”
Palani wasn't sure how he knew what Enar was referring to, but he did. “I know. You set the pace, Doc. You’ll tell them when you’re ready.”
Their foreheads leaning against each other, Enar’s eyes expressed his gratitude. “I love you,” he said.
What a rush it was to hear these words out of the man’s mouth. “I love you, too. Now let’s go.”
They needed a minute outside to cool off before going in, Enar especially since his cock was rock hard, he explained with a slight blush to a grinning Palani. When they walked in—waving at Adar who took up position at the entrance while his companion, another bulky alpha named Isam, walked around the building—Palani was determined to keep his distance, but Enar reached for his hand, lacing their fingers.
“No secrets,” he said. “I never want to feel like I need to hide what we are to each other.”
That almost led to another make-out session against the wall, but they broke off their kiss quickly, both realizing this was not the time and place.
“Young love,” Melloni greeted them with a smile.
“Excuse me?” Palani asked, certain he’d misheard.
Melloni pointed toward a large screen that showed security footage from around the building. “I’ve had some vandalism, so I had this system installed. I saw you arrive,” he said, his eyes twinkling.
All right, then. No sense in denying then, was there? Maybe he could use it to ask some questions? “Yes, we are,” Palani said, tugging Enar toward him. “With two others, actually, another alpha and an omega.”
Melloni’s eyes widened. “A foursome? Excellent!”
“Excellent?” Enar repeated. “That’s not what I expected you to say.”
Palani and Enar shared a look. “Sure,” Enar said. “An associate of yours?”
“In a way,” Melloni answered. “Give me a minute.”
He walked out of the lab into a dimly lit hallway and disappeared from sight.
“I didn’t know he was working with anyone,” Enar said.
“He’s not. At least, not according to the information I found. He’s not even part of an institute or research facility anymore. This building, this lab, it’s his. He had a falling out with some leaders in the research community a few years back and he went rogue,” Palani said. He’d done his research into Melloni.
“Does he have a family? He’s what, late fifties?”
“Sixty-one, according to his official bio. And I have no idea about his family, because it says nothing about his personal life…which makes sense, because I don’t think he wants to advertise he’s a beta.”
He stopped talking when Melloni walked back in, a slender man on his heels. An omega, Palani saw with surprise. What the hell?
“I’d like you to meet my son, Allessandro Melloni, Sando for short. He’s my research assistant.”
Palani and Enar both introduced themselves to the shy omega, who barely met their eyes. Palani wondered what the story was here. Melloni was sixty-one, but Sando couldn’t be over twenty-five. That was a big age gap. Also, an omega in a role like this was highly unusual, especially in a complicated field like this. The love Melloni had for his son was obvious, though, as he looked at him with paternal pride.
“You said you had something to share with us?” Palani said as they’d all gotten seated again. Sando was sitting slightly behind his father, watching them with sharp eyes.
“Yes, yes,” Melloni said. “But after that, you must tell me about the foursome.”
Palani shot a quick look sideways to Enar. Why was Melloni so interested in their relationship? It was a bit…odd. Disturbing, even? Still, he’d play along if it would help them get the info they wanted. “Sure,” he said, then added, “We have a theory and some news we want to share with you.”
“Oh, interesting…but let me start with what we found. Since the discovery of the gene, I’ve tried to find out its origins and what it does, exactly. We have the symptoms from what carriers describe, but we haven’t been able to pinpoint all of them, since some could be environmental or caused by effects of the gene. But last week, Sando and I made a breakthrough discovery.”
He pointed toward a large computer monitor. “This is what the genetic sequence looks like compared to a normal omega…or a non-carrier, I should say, since normal is a meaningless term.”
He shared a look with his son that made Palani wonder all over again what the story was there. He refocused on the screen, which showed a schematic, but he had no clue what he was looking at.
“Can you spot the difference, Dr. Magnusson?” Melloni asked.
“Enar, please. And yes, it’s right there, correct?” Enar pointed to a small piece in the middle. Even then, Palani didn’t see it, but he trusted Enar to explain it if necessary afterward.
“Yes. As you can see the change is almost insignificant, yet it has far-reaching effects. Now, I’ve zoomed in on just that bit from a carrier and a non-carrier omega.”
The screen changed into the same schematic, only on a far bigger scale, and now Palani noticed they were different, through it was more like a “point out the ten differences between these two drawings” game to him than an ability to distill any meaningful interpretation from the schematics.
“Now watch this,” Melloni said, and a third schematic popped up on the screen. “What do you see?” he asked Enar.
“It’s been a while for me since I had to interpret these, but that third one looks remarkably similar to…” Enar stopped, then squinted and moved in closer. “It’s almost like… It looks like a mix between a carrier and a non-carrier. Like, it shares some details with each. What am I looking at?”
Melloni leaned forward in his chair and folded his hands. “Wolf. You’re looking at the genetic sequence of a wolf.”
A wolf?
Enar got up to get a closer look at the screen. It had been a decade since he’d done this in med school, but he’d always liked biology at this level and had excelled at it. There was no denying the similarities, and there could only be one conclusion. He felt like he stood at the edge of a cliff, about to jump in. If this were true… God, this was so big he didn’t even know where to start.
“The Melloni carriers have wolf-DNA in them?” Palani asked, his voice tight with emotion. Did he know more? Was this somehow linked to what he had discovered?
Melloni nodded. “Yes. Somehow their DNA has been mixed with wolf-DNA to create this…this mix. It’s been done deliberately, targeted at this specific sequence… It’s too obvious to be a coincidence.”
“Enar, it fits…” Palani said, his voice a mix of excitement and fear. “It all fits together…the whole wolf thing. This is…god, what have we gotten ourselves into?”
“What do you mean?” Enar put his hands on Palani’s shoulders to make him face him. “What did you discover?”
“We’ve discovered a few things of our own about how they gained access to the mothers…and maybe even why…and it ties in with this,” Palani said. “I’ll try to start at the beginning.”
“We haven’t been able to find out how they got access,” Sando spoke up for the first time. “What did you find out?”
Enar reached for Palani’s hand, linking their fingers together and drawing strength from that connection.
“There was a fertility drug called X23,” Palani said, then explained what they had discovered about what at least the McCains had in common.
“How…I can’t believe I missed this,” Melloni said, his face excited and upset at the same time. “It’s so blindingly obvious. I had discovered they all had mothers, but not this. How could I miss this?”
“You’ve focused on the biological aspect from the start. You discovered this gene, and you wanted to understand it, but you approached it from your own field. It’s been about genes for you from the start, about this,” Palani said, pointing at the monitor. “You’ve tried to understand the gene in your terms, your jargon. I came at it from a completely different angle. It’s been about the people for me from the start, and that made me look at the whole problem differently.”
“One thing doesn’t add up, though… How could they run a trial for over a decade?” Melloni asked, his faced puzzled. “I’m doing the math, but we’re talking about at least a fifteen-year period.”
Palani nodded. “Yeah, we haven’t figured that out yet, but we're also not certain how long they continued. Omegas don’t get tested until they show symptoms, which means the youngest confirmed carriers are twenty years old. We could look at god knows how many more that are still too young to have been tested.”
Melloni nodded. “That’s something Sando has been working on, developing a test that’s less expensive and faster.”
“You said the fertility drug was linked to the wolf DNA,” Sando said. “What did you mean by that?”
Palani took a deep breath. “This is where it gets truly shocking, because I think the whole goal has been to bring wolf shifters back.”
Enar couldn’t hold back his gasp and Palani squeezed his hand. “It sounds crazy but hear me out. The company that made X23 was called Maiitsoh, which is the Navajo name for wolf. The McCain women remembered visiting the facility and seeing posters of wolves in the room. It’s a small detail, but it all adds up. Their doctor was a man named Morton Baig, a young, ambitious doctor who was later fired from the Women’s Clinic for unknown reasons. Then we have Lukos… Lukos is a young company that has launched three successful drugs targeted at omegas, two birth control meds and a heat suppressant.”
Melloni
nodded. “I’ve heard of them. Their success is rather astounding.”
“Yes. On the board of directors of Lukos sits a doctor called Morton Baig, the very same doctor who gave the McCain women their infertility treatments. And Lukos’ chief of research, Dr. Jerald Eastwood, worked at another company before Lukos, called Ulfur, where he registered more patents, all for drugs aimed at male omegas. Now get this: Lukos is the Greek word for wolf…and úlfur is the Icelandic. Maiitsoh, Ulfur, and Lukos, they’re all the same company, reinvented to keep going. They’re behind the Melloni gene, and I reckon their aim was to bring back wolf shifters.”
Palani stopped, almost out of breath after his explanation.
“Holy fuck…” Enar said, his head hurting with the implications of what Palani had said. “I can’t even wrap my head around this.”
“All their products are targeted at omegas, but not just omegas. They’re all countering the effects of the gene…high fertility, excessive heats, anti-depressants, you name it. It’s as if Ulfur and Lukos are trying to fix the side effects of what X23 had done…” Palani said.
Melloni shook his head slowly. “It’s…it has to be true. I don’t believe in coincidences like this. We’ll need more proof, but I agree that your theory fits. My god, what have they done?”
“But if this is true, then who is trying to stop Lukos from marketing their drugs?” Enar asked. Melloni and Sando looked at him with similar puzzled expressions, so he quickly explained. “One of Lukos’ drugs is a birth control called Excellon. Data shows it’s much more effective than the most commonly used birth control meds, but Palani discovered doctors have been bribed not to prescribe the drug.”
“I still don’t know who’s behind that, but my latest working theory is that we’re looking at high-level government involvement, since all three of Lukos’ products seem to be targeted. Insurance companies or their competitors wouldn't be able to go that far. They lack the reach to block approval of a drug by the Drugs Agency,” Palani added. “I started out thinking that Lukos was the good guy in this, the little company that got blocked by the big bad drug companies. Now, I don’t know. Maybe there are no good guys in this story.”