by Celia Loren
"I'm not—" she stops and takes a deep breath. "Fine, I won't deny I developed some feelings for him." At her admission, my lungs feel like they catch on fire. "Anyone in my position would have. But I'm telling you, I got to know him well enough to know when he was telling the truth and when he wasn't, and he didn't kill that guy."
"Well, if he didn't, then the FBI won't arrest him."
"Or they'll decide the word of Tank, their beloved rat, is enough and arrest him anyway."
"You don't have any actual evidence to the contrary."
"I know, I know," she mutters.
"Look, you have to put all this behind you, or you're never going to be able to move on. There's a lot waiting for you outside the world of the Death Dealers. Men who aren't thieves and killers." She looks up at me, a hint of defiance in her eyes. I wonder if she's going to argue with me, but instead it seems like she's waiting for me to continue. I clear my throat. "I didn't necessarily mean me."
"Uh-huh," she replies.
"Was I going to see if you want to get a drink sometime? Yes, but purely as a welcome back type thing."
She smiles. "Let me settle in a little first."
"Sure, no problem," I reply, and she heads over to where some of the other detectives are chomping down the cake.
I watch her, trying to be inconspicuous. Soon, she'll forget about the Death Dealers, she'll forget about Ford, and everything will be normal again. And I'll finally have my chance.
Chapter 28 - Ford
I sit in church, my eyes glazed over. I feel empty. I've tried drinking it away, I've tried fucking it away, but the emptiness just won't leave me. It's been three weeks since Beth left, but it feels like a year, and also like yesterday.
Candice told me she left to go back to Washington because her mom's sick, but I don't know if I believe it. I think she left because of me. Or maybe I'm flattering myself. I clearly didn't mean much to her.
"After we receive the shipment, we'll have to store it here for a few days before we can move it up to Canada. I need six guys to head up the team making the deal."
"I'll go," I say. My voice sounds hollow to my ears. The other brothers around the table and standing against the walls look at me in surprise. They know Tank was looking for younger brothers that need to prove themselves. There's no need for me to go on some perfunctory deal with the Lobos. We've been dealing with them for years.
"Ford, showing some prerogative. I like it," Tank replies with a smile. Two prospects and two younger brothers quickly volunteer. "With Ford there, that should be enough."
I catch a jealous glance from Taz, but I barely even register it. His petty feelings and competitiveness mean nothing to me anymore. I only volunteered because I thought it might help me get out of my own head.
The meeting ends, and we all filter out. I spot behind the bar on my way out and give her a questioning look. She shakes her head no. No sign from Beth. Fuck. I'm being pathetic by even asking.
I head reluctantly back toward my house on my bike. I'd rather be partying, but my liver could really use a break. I'm so zoned out that it takes me until I'm almost home to realize I'm being followed.
I glance in my mirror at the black sedan that's been behind me for three blocks now. I saw it near the clubhouse, and it just made a left after me at the light, though it's three cars back. I shake my head. It's gotta be the Feds. We had some trouble with them years back when Brick was around, but they couldn't make a case and eventually left us alone. What I learned then was they stick out like a sore thumb, driving around in their boxy Lincolns and bad suits.
I think for a second. I'm sure they already know where I live, so I could just go home anyway. I'm not exactly in the mood for games. But no, there's still a part of me that want to fuck with them.
At the next stop light, the idiots pull up right behind me. I casually lean down on my handlebars. There's a tanker truck headed up the street, coming at us from the left. In about twenty seconds it'll cross the intersection in front of us.
I turn around and check my teeth in the tinted window shield of the Feds' car. I can hear the tanker rumbling up, and just as it's about to speed through the intersection, I gun my engine.
The tanker honks as it sees me coming, but it's too late for it to slow down. Those things are carrying far too much weight to break quickly. The next few seconds happen in slow motion. I can see the tanker barreling down on my left, coming so close to me that I can see the dirt on its grill, and the free space of the other side of the intersection beckoning toward me like freedom.
The tanker slips by me, coming within inches of my back tire. I laugh, feeling adrenaline flow through me. It's nice to feel alive again.
I keep going at full speed, knowing the Feds will recover quickly. I take the next right and then double back around and pull into an alley to lose them. They might be waiting for me back at my house, but that's fine.
My smile disappears. I know why I'm taking crazy risks. I think it'll help me forget, but it never does.
I pull back out of the alley. I should tell Tank about these Feds. He won't want them crawling around Death Dealers business.
Chapter 29 – Marie
I smile at Drew from across the table. I finally agreed to join him for a drink, and we got to talking, and the drink turned into a meal. And an enjoyable one, too. Without talking about it, we both seem to acknowledge that we were in a tough situation with the Death Dealers, and it didn't bring out the best in either of us.
"I talked to the Lieutenant about being reassigned. I heard about an opening that's only thirty minutes away," he tells me.
"I don't understand," I reply. "I thought you were happy here."
"I am. But the Death Dealers case should be wrapped up soon, and I won't leave before it is, but after that…"
"After that?"
He takes a deep breath. "I've tried to ignore the way I feel about you for too long, Marie. I want to transfer because then we could finally date. I want it all to be above board. No sneaking around."
"I…oh. Sorry, I'm just a little shocked," I say.
"I tried to wait longer, let you settle back in, but… I could see spending the rest of my life with you. And I don't want to put my life on hold any longer."
"Drew, that’s…"
"You don't have to tell me what you think right now. I know I just sprung a lot on you."
"Okay, thanks. I guess I could use a little time," I reply with a smile. "You're a good man, though, Drew. You would make any woman happy," I add.
He insists on taking care of the check, and we walk out to our cars in the parking lot together. As I take my keys out of my purse, he slips his hand around my waist and pulls me toward him. Slowly, he leans in, and presses his lips against mine.
I open my mouth slightly, but he doesn't push me. A sweet, soft kiss, and I feel my body respond to his. He pulls away.
"Bye, Marie," he says, and walks to his car. I get into my car, and pull out of the parking lot behind him. He turns left, and I turn right.
I have to pull over after a block and a half because I'm crying so hard.
Drew is such a great guy. I should want him. I wish I did. I feel like a terrible person because I don't. But there's only one man I'm thinking about. Kissing Drew just made it all the more clear to me: I'll never be able to let go of Ford.
I make the drive to Paradise Falls in record time. I just need to see him, just for a moment. I take the familiar turn onto his street, and pull up in front of his house. It's dark out, and I'm driving a car he's never seen before, since it's the one I actually own.
I slouch down in the seat and wait, my eyes glued to his house. Two lights are on, one in the bedroom and one in the living room. There, a flicker of movement in the living room. I bet he just got up to go get something from the kitchen.
I sit up a little as I see him move into full view of the living room window. He's shirtless and wearing sweats. My skin starts to ache, wishing I could reach out and touc
h him. He seems to stare out of the window at some point above my car. We're both frozen for a moment, him looking at nothing, and me looking at him.
I blink, and suddenly he's gone. His front door bursts open, and he's sprinting toward my car. Shit! I turn the engine back on as he flies toward me, and slam my foot on the gas. With a squeal of my tires, I just make it away from the curb, though I hear his hand slam down on my hood.
"Stop following me!" I hear him bellow after me. I look in my rearview at him as he stands in the middle of the street, watching me go. My heartbeat thrums in my ears. Following him? I guess I'm not the only one interested in checking up on him.
A coldness settles over me. It must be the FBI, tightening their net.
I can't just sit around and wait for him to be arrested for something he didn't do. I have to find a way to help him.
Chapter 30 – Drew
"Listen up!" the Lieutenant says, as we step out of his office. The detectives in the bullpen all look up, and I see Marie stop and settle against the wall as she walks by. "We've just overheard the president of the Death Dealers discussing a large shipment of heroin that's coming into their clubhouse. It'll arrive tonight, and go back out the day after tomorrow. That means we've got a narrow opportunity to catch them in the act."
"And we need to keep this quiet. If the FBI catches a whiff of it, they'll alert Tank, and the shipment will be gone before we get there. We'll be getting the warrant right before we bust in so that won't tip them off."
"Bust in?" Klosky pipes up. "I mean, you know I want to take these guys down, but they're heavily armed, and there's not a lot of us."
"We're bringing in SWAT from Mayfield's department. They've been hit hard by the Death Dealers, too, so we trust them," the Lieutenant replies. "I know this'll be a tough one, and dangerous, but this might be our only chance to take them down. I need you all with me." There are nods and murmurs from our colleagues: everyone's with us. "Good. Stewart here will be leading our team. We'll keep you all posted on details, but you might want to get some practice at the range in before tomorrow night. McHenry, my office."
Marie follows the Lieutenant and I back into his office, and we all sit down. "Reminds me of your first day here," I comment.
"McHenry, we need to know everything you remember about the Death Dealers' compound. Layout, blind spots, all that. Here, you can draw it out for us," the Lieutenant says, handing her a piece of paper and a pen.
"Tomorrow's a Tuesday, so there shouldn't be that many brothers around," Marie says as she draws. "But as soon as they hear we're there, more of them will show up. We'll need to cover our rear. These windows all have bulletproof glass on them," she says, pointing to her paper. "And here are the doors to the office and the basement. I don't know what SWAT's thinking, but if we break up into three teams and –"
"We weren't sure you'd want to go," I interject.
"What? Seriously?" Marie asks.
"We know that you had to see things from their perspective, had to bond with them even, to stay there for as long as you did," the Lieutenant chimes in. "We thought it might be tough for you to go back there like this."
"I want to see this thing through," Marie says. "Plus, I'm the only one who's actually been in there. I can be helpful."
"If they recognize you, they'll put out a hit and—"
"I'll wear a mask, like the SWAT guys," Marie replies. "Come on, you can't cut me out of this."
"Alright, if you're sure," Ebert says.
"I'm sure," Marie replies. "Let me keep working on this drawing and try to get the dimensions right," she says, standing up and taking the paper with her. "Thanks, Lieutenant."
I follow her out toward the locker rooms. "Hey, Marie," I call after her.
"I had fun the other night," she says.
"Me, too," I say with a grin.
"I hope you're not about to try to convince me not to go."
"Well…"
"I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry so much," she says, and squeezes my arm. "You're a good man, Drew." She smiles, and heads into the women's locker room.
I look after her, feeling slightly surprised that she wants to go, but heartened. She's finally putting the Death Dealers behind her.
Chapter 31- Ford
I sit in the main room of the compound, studying the text from Candice. Just got a message from Beth – she wants me to meet her at a mall in Allentown. Not sure why so far away, but I'm going. Will text you after. I tuck the phone into my jeans.
So Beth's back in town. I wish I didn't care but I do. Fuck, I've never had to try to get over a woman before. Am I not doing it right or something? Why the fuck am I still thinking about her?
I hear the sound of a bike outside, and then another. I take a sip of my beer and stand, then move toward the front windows. A bunch of my brothers are pulling in, and I can see more headlights on the road outside. Tank walks out of the office and heads my way.
"What's the occasion?" I ask, nodding outside.
"The shipment you brought in yesterday," he replies. "I thought it deserved a celebration." He stands next to me, looking out the window. "I asked around, but no one else reported being followed. You sure about it?"
"I'm sure," I tell him. "Look, maybe I'm out of line, but I think we should lay low for a little while. We're attracting a lot of attention with big deals like this."
"Gotta have big deals to make big money," Tank replies.
I pause, choosing my words carefully. "I guess I never joined the Death Dealers for the money. I joined for the brotherhood."
"You're an honorable man, Ford. That's what I like about you. But you gotta be careful. We're not in an honorable business," he says, his black eyes glittering from the security light that's shining in through the window.
"I always thought there was a sort of honor in it," I reply. "We're outside the law, but we have our own code of conduct."
Tank laughs. "That's a nice thought. I don't think it works like that, though. We're criminals, Ford. I would've thought you were used to that by now."
"Guess not," I murmur.
He slaps his hand onto my shoulder and leaves it there. "You've always been an asset to the Death Dealers. I'll never forget that, no matter what happens," he says with a smile, and walks toward the front door as one of my brothers walks in.
No matter what happens? What the hell does that mean?
Chapter 32 – Marie
The half-moon casts cold, grey light onto the compound. From a hundred yards away, we watch as headlight after headlight pulls into the front yard. I count twenty-two.
I'm in the group that's going to head into the back door of the compound. A SWAT member is down at the fence now, cutting a hole into the metal so that we don't have to enter from the front and run all the way around to the back, giving the brothers time to escape.
I pull at the straps of my bulletproof vest, feeling nervous. I'm not the only one, though. In the darkness, I can see the grim faces of the rest of the detectives from Fort Brynard. Even the hardened SWAT guys look a little alarmed.
"Why are there so many people in there?" the SWAT leader hisses at me. "You said there wouldn't be that many."
"I said that since it's a Tuesday, there probably wouldn't be that many. It's not like they're telling me their plans," I whisper back.
"Do they know we're coming?"
I raise my binoculars. "No, they're just having a party. Probably celebrating the shipment." At least I texted Beth with a ruse, so I know she's not in there. I don't want her getting caught in the crossfire.
"Fine," he grumbles. "We're a go," he says into his walkie.
"Confirmative," the reply crackles back. I catch myself thinking about Drew. I managed to get onto the team headed for the back door because I knew he was on the other one. The last thing I need is him looking over his shoulder for me.
"Let's go," the leader says, and we crouch down, scurrying toward the back fence, well away from the security lights. We end up about tw
enty feet from the fence, as close as we can get while still out of sight of the cameras. Because of my inexperience, I'm at the end of the line. I just hope I can get in there in time.
"We're in place. Higgins, whenever you're ready," the leader says. The rest of us tighten our grips on our weapons. Higgins is at the fuse box, ready to cut the power to the compound. As soon as the lights go off, the security will be disabled, and the Death Dealers will know something's up, but the confusion buys us time.
"Counting down," Higgins replies. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…"
Chapter 33 – Ford
The music gets turned up and I feel a headache coming on. Fuck, maybe I should just go home. I haven't wanted to be alone recently, but this doesn't feel like what I want either.
Tank sees me and shoves a shot at me. "Drink up, motherfucker!" he shouts, making the decision for me. A cheer goes up as I knock the whiskey back.
I spot Taz across the room and grab another shot. When I put the glass down, I see Marsh walking over to me.
"Rhonda says I'm supposed to ask you about Beth," he says. I give a short bark of laughter.
"Good job. You're really evolved," I tell him.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he replies. "You'll meet someone else eventually," he adds. I just shrug in reply. I'm not eager to talk about Beth. And I'm not sure I buy the whole "there's lots of fish in the sea" kind of stuff. If it took me that many years to meet one person I loved, there can't be that many options out there.
Suddenly the music and lights cut out. There's a collective groan. "Probably just overloaded the fuse box," someone calls out.
I frown and move toward the window. I squint. Is that a flicker of movement by the gate? Could've been an animal, I guess, but better to be careful.
I head back toward Marsh. "Come on," I tell him, nodding toward the back door. "I just want to check something out." I open the door to head down the hallway when I see the back door open and a small cylinder land about twenty feet away. I jerk back. "It's a raid!" I yell out.