by Roberta Kray
She took a long drag on her cigarette and gazed at him through narrowed eyes. ‘You mean it? Anything?’
‘It’s your call, Kel.’
Kelly Gissing settled back in her chair and gave a nod. ‘That sounds fair enough.’
29
Petra paid for the two gin and tonics, picked up the glasses and carried them over to a table in the corner. The Bell was quiet tonight; it was a Monday evening and everyone had spent their cash over the weekend. Still, it felt nice to be in her old local again, to see the familiar walls and hear the East End voices.
‘Ta, love.’ Colleen raised her glass. ‘It’s good to have you back.’
‘It’s good to be back.’
‘Shame about your Kelly, though. Poor kid. How’s she bearing up?’
‘Oh, so-so. It’ll take her a while, I suppose. You don’t get over something like that in a hurry.’
Colleen shifted her bulk on the chair, making herself more comfortable. She’d put on a fair bit of weight since Petra had last seen her and now with her large bosom, bright red cheeks and flowery dress she resembled one of those ladies in the saucy postcards they sold down at the front in Bournemouth. ‘And what about your Roy? What does he think of you coming back?’
Petra gave a snort. ‘He ain’t my Roy no more and I don’t give a damn what he thinks. Not much he can do about it, is there? Not when my Kelly says she wants me here.’
‘You should never have left, love. Not in my opinion. That house was as much yours as it was his. I couldn’t stand it seeing some other woman living under my roof. It’s not right, not right at all.’
Petra nodded furiously. It was a relief to have someone she could share her anger and frustration with. Wayne wasn’t interested, and she couldn’t burden Kelly with it all. ‘Especially that little trollop. You should see the state of her. She don’t get up ’til lunchtime and then she swans around in her dressing gown, tits hanging out for all the world to see.’
‘Well, she’s a prize bitch that one. And she’ll lead Roy a merry dance, mark my words. That type always do.’
Petra, eager for some dirt on the woman who’d replaced her, leaned forward with a gleam in her eye. ‘Why? Have you heard something?’
Colleen gave a shrug of her heavy shoulders. ‘You only have to look her, darlin’. She won’t last. She’s the type who’s always around for the weddings, never the funerals.’ Then, aware of what she’d just said, she quickly patted Petra on the hand. ‘Oh, sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking. I forgot about Eddie. I didn’t —’
‘I know. Don’t worry about it. It’s on Friday as it happens, the funeral I mean. Ten o’clock at St Luke’s in Kellston.’
‘Your Kelly’s going to be glad to have it over and done with. I know I was when my Jack passed.’
‘It’s not the same, though, is it?’
‘How do you figure that?’
Petra grinned at her friend. ‘My Kelly thinks she’s lost the love of her life whereas you couldn’t stand your Jack.’
Colleen sniggered. ‘Well, that’s true enough. He was one nasty bastard and I wasn’t sorry to see him six foot under. The happiest day of my life was when the old bugger dropped dead. They’re all sweet as honey until they get that ring on your finger and then they show their true colours. Ain’t one of them worth a jot. Ain’t a man in the world worth breaking your heart over.’
‘You’d never think about getting hitched again then?’
‘Not in a million years. I’ve got my kids and my grandkids and they’re all I need. I mean, Jesus, the dog’s better company than that old sod ever was.’ Colleen took a slurp of the gin and licked her lips. ‘No, there’s no way I’d ever walk down that road again. I’d rather stab out my eyes with red-hot needles.’
‘You’ve got a point. I’d be happier doing time than living with Roy.’ Petra looked around the pub and sighed. ‘Although I do miss London. Bournemouth’s nice enough but it’s not home, if you know what I mean. I’ve been thinking of moving back.’
‘You should. It hasn’t been the same without you. You could sell your place and get a nice little flat.’
Petra wrinkled her nose. ‘Oh, I don’t fancy some poky little flat. I like a bit of room to breathe. To be honest, I just want my old house back. That’s not too much to ask, is it?’ She heaved out a sigh. ‘Trouble is, I’ve got to get rid of that tart first.’
‘She ain’t gonna leave without a fight.’
‘Tell me about it.’
‘I mean, she’s on to a good thing, free board and lodgings and cash coming from the yard. She can do what she likes so long as Roy don’t get to hear about it. Course you could just kick her out and change the locks but I reckon that wouldn’t go down too well. How about your Wayne? Couldn’t he help you out?’
‘Fat chance. She’s got him wound round her little finger, same way she has Roy. And our Kelly’s in no fit state to do anything. No, I’ll just bide my time and see what happens. You never know what’s round the corner.’
‘God will provide,’ said Colleen.
‘Well, that would be a first. He ain’t done much for me up to now so I won’t hold me breath.’
The two women stayed chatting until closing time when they left the warmth of the pub, braved the bitter wind and walked together to the corner of Raleigh Road where they went their separate ways. It was almost midnight by the time Petra got to the house, unlocked the door and went inside. She could hear the television and the sound of voices as she hung up her coat in the hallway.
In the living room, she was met with a cosy family scene. Wayne was sprawled in an armchair, and Kelly was curled up on the sofa with her head against Sharon’s shoulder. Petra felt a surge of anger seeing her daughter so close to that filthy little tart. It got under her skin. It really rankled. If anyone was going to comfort her daughter, it should be her.
‘You all right, love?’ Petra asked pointedly.
Kelly raised her eyes and gave a nod. ‘How’s Colleen?’
‘Same as always. She sends her best.’
‘We were just talking about the funeral.’
‘Oh, yeah?’
‘We thought we’d go in Sharon’s car. There’ll be more room for us all.’
Petra’s eyebrows pulled together in a frown. She glared at the bitch before returning her gaze to Kelly. ‘She’s not coming.’
‘Of course she is.’
‘No way.’
‘Why not?’
‘You know why not.’
Sharon looked from one to the other. ‘Jesus, I am here, you know.’
‘Worst luck,’ snarled Petra. ‘This is a family funeral and you ain’t family. So just keep your nose out of it, huh?’
Sharon’s upper lip curled. ‘It ain’t up to you who goes to Eddie’s funeral or not. You can’t say one way or the other. If Kelly wants me to go, I’ll go, and that’s the end of it.’
‘I wouldn’t be so sure of that.’
‘Just grow up, Petra. This ain’t about you. Think about your daughter for once.’
Petra put her hands on her hips. Gin usually made her maudlin but tonight it was inflaming her rage and making her feel even more bitter and resentful. ‘Oh, yeah? And how much thinking about her where you doing when you were shagging my husband behind my back?’
‘Christ, you’re not still banging on about that, are you? For fuck’s sake, it was years ago. It’s time to get over it, darlin’.’ Sharon smirked. ‘And let’s face it, if he’d been getting what he needed at home, he wouldn’t have had to look elsewhere for it.’
‘Look for it? From what I heard you were giving it away.’
Sharon leapt up from the sofa, eyes blazing. ‘Shut yer mouth, you old cow!’
‘Make me!’
Wayne, sensing that bloodshed might be on the horizon, hauled himself to his feet and inserted his body between the warring women. ‘For fuck’s sake, can’t you two give it a rest for five minutes? What about Kel? This ain’t helping her none, is it?
’
Sharon pointed a scarlet-painted talon at Petra. ‘Tell her, not me. I’m not the one being bloody awkward just for the sake of it.’
‘Awkward? You’ve got a bleedin’ nerve. Do you hear that, Kelly? Calling me bloody awkward after everything she’s done.’
Kelly shook her head despairingly. ‘God, I’ve got enough to worry about without you two going at it. I want you both there on Friday. What’s wrong with that? Can’t you just call a truce and get on for a few hours? That’s all I’m asking.’
‘Ain’t a problem for me,’ Sharon said. ‘Not so sure about your mother, though.’
‘I ain’t getting in a car with that,’ said Petra, stung by her daughter’s words. Since when had she and Sharon got so pally? It wasn’t that long since Kelly had hated her guts, since she wouldn’t have given her the time of day.
Sharon glared at her. ‘Well then, you’ll have to walk there or get the sodding bus.’
‘Please, Mum,’ Kelly pleaded. ‘Don’t be like that.’
Petra glanced at Wayne, but if she was hoping for any support there she only had to look at the expression on his face to know it wouldn’t be forthcoming. He’d gone over to the other side and there was nothing she could do about it. Before she could say something she might later regret, she clamped shut her mouth and marched towards the door.
‘Mum?’ Kelly said.
‘What?’
‘You will come on Friday, won’t you? Please say you will?’
Petra hesitated. ‘If that’s what you want.’
‘Of course it is.’
‘All right, then.’
‘Thanks, Mum.’
Petra went out of the room and walked stiffly up the stairs. The rage inside her was so strong, so intense, that it took every effort of will to stop it from exploding. She went into the small bedroom, carefully closed the door and slumped down on the single bed. Sharon’s smug face danced in front of her eyes. ‘Bitch, bitch, bitch!’ she repeated like a mantra. Her hands clenched into two tight fists. Well, the filthy little whore might have stolen her husband, might even have got temporary possession of the house, but she wasn’t having her daughter too. No, enough was enough. As soon as the funeral was over she’d find a way to get rid of her once and for all.
30
By ten o’clock on Thursday morning, Sadie had her holdall packed and was physically if not mentally prepared for another journey to London. This time instead of searching for Eddie she’d be attending his funeral. The thought filled her with dread. How was she going to endure it, knowing what she knew? A shiver ran through her. She would have to shake the hands of Eddie’s parents, expressing her sympathy while all the time —
Her thoughts were interrupted by the piercing ring of the doorbell. ‘Oh, who’s that?’ she said, glancing at her watch. She had a train to catch in half an hour and didn’t want to miss it. ‘Can you see?’
Joel went to the window and looked down. ‘No worries. It’s only the postman. I’ll go.’ He flew down the stairs and was back thirty seconds later brandishing a small parcel. ‘It’s for you.’
Sadie’s heart sank as she took it from him. The address on the front had been written in the childlike scrawl that was unmistakably Mona’s. Aware that Joel was watching her, she opened the package with trembling hands, afraid of what lay hidden beneath the brown paper wrapper. It wasn’t heavy but as she tore at the sheet she found her thoughts racing. God, what if it was bullets or something crazy like that? She shifted her body to try and obscure Joel’s view.
In the event, she needn’t have worried. Inside was a silk print Liberty scarf in delicate shades of blues and greens. She held it up, aware even from the feel that it must have been expensive.
‘That’s pretty,’ he said. ‘Who’s it from?’
‘Anne,’ she replied, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks. She hated lying to him. She hated the fact that it was becoming second nature to her. ‘There’s a card with it. It says: Thanks very much for taking me to the party. Hope to see you soon.’
‘That was sweet of her.’
Sadie quickly shoved the scarf and card back in the brown paper. ‘Yes,’ she said, forcing a smile. ‘She shouldn’t have, though. I mean, there was no need. She didn’t even stay long.’ She’d had to invent a story about Mona having a headache to explain the girl’s abrupt disappearance from his parents’ house on Sunday afternoon.
‘You should invite her for the weekend. After everything’s got back to normal.’
Normal? Sadie couldn’t imagine her life ever returning to that halcyon state. It seemed like a place where other people lived, a land of milk and honey from which she’d been permanently excluded. ‘Yes,’ she murmured. ‘Maybe.’
‘Are you going to wear it?’
‘What?’
‘The scarf,’ he said. ‘You should wear it. It’ll suit you.’
But Sadie would rather have put a noose around her neck than the silken scarf. ‘Not today,’ she said. ‘I’ll… I’ll save it for a special occasion.’ She went through to the bedroom, opened a drawer and pushed the unwanted gift, still in its wrapping, to the very back where she wouldn’t have to look at it. As soon as she got home, she’d return it to Mona.
‘Are you ready?’ Joel called out from the living room. ‘We should make a move.’
‘I won’t be a second.’ Sadie took a moment to try and regulate her breathing. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest. Mona’s present, although innocuous enough on the surface, served as an untimely reminder of the ‘deal’ that was still apparently in place. What if she turned up at the funeral and started making demands? But no, she had no way of knowing when or where it was, unless —
‘Joel,’ she said, quickly walking back into the living room. ‘If Anne rings, you won’t tell her about the funeral, will you?’
Joel gave her a puzzled look. ‘Why not?’
‘Oh, because she just has a habit of turning up out of the blue. I know she means well but tomorrow’s going to be difficult enough without… Just say I’ve gone away for a couple of days and I’ll give her a call when I get back.’ She knew that Joel didn’t really get it, that in his world people were always pleased to see friends and never tried to avoid them. ‘You don’t mind, do you? I don’t want you to lie or anything.’
‘It’s okay, I understand. Sometimes you just need a bit of space, huh?’
‘Something like that.’
A few minutes later they were in the van and on the way to the station. Sadie kept her eyes on the side mirror, wondering if they were being followed. Ever since Royston had approached her, she’d been constantly glancing over her shoulder. He was the type of journalist who wouldn’t think twice about putting a tail on her.
‘Are you going to stay in the same B&B?’ Joel asked.
‘No, Oaklands is more of a boarding house. They don’t rent out by the night. I’ll find somewhere else; there are lots of places I can go.’
‘At least it’ll still be light by the time you get there.’
‘I’ll give you a call when I’m in Kellston.’
Joel pulled the car into the station, cut the engine and looked at her. ‘Are you sure you’ll be all right on your own? It’s not too late. I can still come with you.’