by Parnell Hall
“Fine. Talk to her. I want to know why she was here. Find out and tell me.”
“That isn’t the way it works, Chief, and you know it. I’ll have a talk with my client and we’ll see what we can do.”
Becky dragged Cora out of earshot.
“So,” Becky said. “What the hell happened?”
“You know as much as I do. I opened the Dumpster, found the body.”
“Who is he?”
“I have no idea.”
“What’s your impression?”
“If he was alive, I’d like to date him. Dead, I’d probably pass.”
“You think he’s our blackmailer?”
“If he is, your client probably did it.”
“Nonsense. My clients are never guilty. So, what did you tell Harper?”
“Nothing.”
“You didn’t tell him you found the body?”
“Of course not. Then he’d know I looked in the Dumpster.”
“He knows it anyway.”
“How?”
“He knows you phoned it in.”
“I didn’t phone it in.”
“I know. You did it anonymously.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“You didn’t?”
“No.”
“Then who did?”
“The way I see it, either your client or the blackmailer. If the dead man’s the blackmailer, then it’s probably your client. Which would tend to piss me off, because that would mean your client set me up to be caught by the cops. It would also mean your client was the killer, so you’d have your own problems. On the other hand, if the dead man is your client … You should probably take a look and see if he is.”
“Right,” Becky said dryly. “If I look, it confirms my client’s a man. On the other hand, if I don’t look, it confirms it’s a woman. So I have to look in either case.”
“I don’t care what you do, Becky, but the ball’s in your court. Chief Harper wants me to talk. You don’t want me to talk. I don’t want to talk. What’s your plan of action?”
“You probably shouldn’t talk.”
“On what grounds? The grounds you don’t want me to probably isn’t going to fly.”
“An answer could incriminate you, but I hate to admit it.”
“You hate to admit it.”
“I do. But I don’t see any recourse. If you tell him what you were doing here, it would incriminate you in a crime. It’s a textbook case for invoking the fifth amendment.”
“How are we going to explain that?”
“We’re not. That’s the beauty of the fifth amendment. You’re not required to divulge information that would incriminate you in a crime.”
“Yes, I understand that,” Cora said impatiently. “Legally, technically, we don’t have to say a damn thing. Practically, that’s Chief Harper, and we have to live in this town. What do we tell him?”
“You wanna go to jail?”
“Not especially.”
“Then we can’t tell him anything.”
“Fine. Then we don’t tell him. When Chief Harper asks, I’m not talking on advice of counsel. And when I do that, will he arrest me?”
“Good point. In case you’re arrested and booked, why don’t you slip me the cash.”
Cora grimaced. “That’s the other bad news.”
“Huh?”
Cora told Becky about hiding the money in the gas pump.
“Good lord. What were you thinking?”
“The same thing you were. If I was arrested, I didn’t want the cops finding the blackmail money.”
“I don’t think that’s the best way to refer to it.”
“I see no reason to refer to it at all. Particularly since I don’t happen to have it.”
Chief Harper came walking up. “Okay, ladies. You’ve had time to straighten out whatever technicality was making you tongue-tied. So, tell me. What were you doing here?”
Cora took a breath. “I refuse to answer on the grounds that an answer might tend to incriminate me.”
Chapter
8
Chief Harper opened the cell door and let Cora out. He had heard the expression “madder than a wet hen,” but never really knew what it meant. He still wasn’t sure, but he figured Cora probably qualified, both from the look on her face, and the stream of expletives with which she assessed his performance as a police officer.
“Now, see here,” Harper said. “You can’t play fast and loose with the law.”
“I invoked my constitutional privilege. Which I have every right to do. You incarcerated me for it. Which you have no right to do. That’s false arrest. As your attorney will doubtless instruct you.”
“My attorney?”
“Of course, your attorney. Haven’t you ever been sued before?”
“You’re suing me?”
“Well, I’m not baking you a cake.”
“You don’t have the authority.”
“Neither do you.”
“Yes, I do. I’m the chief of police.”
“You don’t have the grounds. That’s the bone of contention here. You arrested me without grounds.”
“I have grounds. You’re withholding evidence.”
“What evidence?”
Harper hesitated.
“See? You don’t even know. My attorney is going to make mincemeat out of your attorney.”
“I don’t have an attorney.”
“Better get one.”
Harper ushered Cora into his office.
Becky Baldwin was waiting. “You okay?” she asked Cora.
“She isn’t happy,” Harper told her.
“What a surprise. How about it, Cora? What did they use? Third degree? Rubber hose? Anything that would up the damages?”
“Now, see here,” Harper said. “You’re not suing me and I’m not arresting you. We’re all friends here.”
“Friends don’t arrest friends,” Cora said. “So, who’s the dead man?”
“No one knows who he is or why he’s there.”
“He didn’t have ID on him?” Cora said.
Harper snorted in disgust. “Typical. You won’t tell me a damn thing, but you want to know what I know.”
“Well, it would certainly help,” Cora said. “I don’t know how you expect me to discuss this crime without the facts.”
“You expect to discuss the crime?”
“Absolutely, Chief. I would say in the next twenty-four hours everyone in Bakerhaven is going to be discussing the crime.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it. How do you expect to discuss the crime if you won’t tell me what you know?”
“Cora, do you know anything?” Becky said.
“No.”
“In that case you wouldn’t withhold it,” Harper said.
“I’m not withholding it.”
“You won’t tell me why you were there.”
“Yes. Suppose I stopped in to use the ladies’ room. That would have nothing to do with the crime, but I wouldn’t particularly want to discuss it.”
“That’s an abandoned filling station. The ladies’ room is locked.”
“How do you know? Did you check it?”
“Are you saying you used the ladies’ room?”
“I just got through saying I didn’t want to discuss using the ladies’ room.”
“God save me. Becky, help me out here. I’ve got a dead body. I don’t know who killed him. I don’t even know who he is. Anything that would shed light on the situation would be helpful.”
“Did you let Cora see the body?”
“She’s already seen the body.”
“I don’t think that’s a safe assumption, Chief. Since Cora isn’t talking, there are any number of possibilities. It’s possible she’s seen the body and doesn’t know who it is. It’s possible she hasn’t seen the body and doesn’t know who it is. It’s possible she does know who it is, but she hasn’t seen the body yet, so she doesn’t know she knows who he is.”
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“You left out the possibility she’s seen the body and already knows who he is.”
“Good point, Chief. If that were the case, and she isn’t talking, nothing would help. But in case it isn’t, I strongly suggest your showing her the body at the earliest convenience. Show her the body. In my presence, and without any attempt to trick her or trap her into an admission, and I’ll allow her to make a statement.”
“If I show her the body she’ll talk?”
“She’ll make a statement. She’ll answer relevant questions.”
“Who’s going to decide what’s relevant?”
“I am.”
“What if I don’t agree?”
“Well, then we can go hunt up Judge Hobbs, and he can explain to you how I’m her attorney and you’re not. But why assume the worst? I’m assuming we look at the body, we have a nice discussion, and we go our separate ways. Isn’t that how you see it, Cora?”
“For my money, you’re being entirely too nice. He threw me in jail.”
“I’m sure he’s sorry. And I’m sure he realizes the concessions we’re making in not adopting a hostile viewpoint.”
Becky smiled at Chief Harper, who looked ready to snap her head off. He whipped out his cell phone. “Hey, Barney. Where’s the stiff?”
Chapter
9
The Bakerhaven morgue was in a basement wing of the new hospital. Barney Nathan used to do autopsies in the back room of his private office, but the idea that there was a corpse just behind the door tended to make patients in the examining room a little nervous. There was the time the door blew open when Mrs. Sangstrum was changing. The naked woman was disconcerted to see a man in the next room, and not at all mollified when he turned out to be dead. Since then the doctor had conducted postmortems at the hospital.
Chief Harper had called ahead, so Barney Nathan was waiting for them. He bristled at the sight of Cora. “Is this necessary?” he said.
“They’re not checking up on you, Barney,” Chief Harper said. “Just trying to make an ID.”
“You don’t have one yet?”
“No. You got a cause of death?”
“You want me to spill it in front of them?”
“We’re all friends here, Barney. And you know it’s gonna be on the news.”
“He was shot with a .38-caliber gun.”
“You know the time of death?”
Barney made a face. “I’m not going to tell you that in front of the lawyer. For all I know, she might get me on the stand.”
“I don’t think there’s much chance of that. Becky’s representing Cora. Between you and me, I don’t think she did it.”
“Very funny, Chief,” Cora said. “So, where’s the bloody dead man?”
Harper frowned. “Bloody?”
“It’s a quote, Chief. Don’t be so damn literal.”
“A quote?”
“From Dylan. So where is he?”
Barney Nathan led them over to a slab. The body on it was covered with a sheet.
“You finished?” Harper said.
Barney shook his head. “When I heard you coming, I covered him up.”
“Okay, let’s have a look.”
Dr. Nathan pulled the sheet off the corpse’s face.
Cora stepped up and took a look.
Becky Baldwin was right behind her.
“Interesting,” Cora said.
Harper frowned. “Is that all you have to say?”
“It is in front of witnesses. You wanna tell the doctor to scram, we could talk.”
Barney Nathan bristled with indignation. “This is my autopsy room. No one orders me out of my morgue.”
“Of course not, Barney,” Chief Harper said. “She’s only trying to get your goat. Come on, Cora, let’s go.”
“I don’t like to be ordered out of his morgue, either,” Cora said.
Becky shot her a pleading look. They were in enough trouble already.
Harper ushered them upstairs and out the emergency room entrance. Evidently there were no emergencies at the moment. Both ambulances were standing by.
Harper stopped between parked cars.
“This is most informal,” Cora said. “Does a statement made in a parking lot count?”
“All right,” Harper said. “You’ve had a good look. Do you know who he is?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Have you ever seen him before?”
Cora shot a look at Becky. “Having seen him dead, I can now state unequivocally that I have never seen him alive.”
Harper frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means I’m taking the question seriously and giving it every benefit of the doubt. Before I saw him, it was entirely possible I might have run into him someplace and just not known who he was. But that is not the case. I have not seen him in any social setting whatsoever. He is not someone I ever observed but was not introduced to. Or passed in the street either in Bakerhaven or elsewhere. In short, I do not know who this man is, and cannot help you in identifying him. Is that a fair statement of the facts, Becky?”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
“Yes, you could,” Harper said irritably. “You could have simply said I never saw the man before in my life. That would be a simple statement of the facts, without all the mumbo jumbo.”
“But it might not be true,” Cora said.
Harper scowled. “I beg your pardon?”
“I don’t recognize him as anyone I ever met. But it’s possible I’ve seen him and simply don’t remember. For instance, if you were to produce witnesses that we had been at the same cocktail party, I would be hard pressed to deny it. Though I don’t go to cocktail parties all that often since I quit drinking.”
“You’re not helping me,” Harper cried in exasperation. “You’re talking a lot without saying anything. I want a straight answer. If you don’t know the dead man, what were you doing at that service station?”
“Now there I would have to step in, Chief,” Becky Baldwin said. “The question is based on a faulty premise. You’re assuming that knowing the dead man and being at the service station are related. Since Cora doesn’t know the dead man, obviously they’re not. Therefore the question makes no sense.”
“Fine,” Harper said. “I’ll simplify it. What were you doing at that service station?”
“There I would have to step in again. Since Cora doesn’t know the dead man, her reason for being at the service station is totally irrelevant, and has no bearing on your investigation. So there is absolutely no reason for her to answer.”
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Harper said. “Tell me why you were there, and I’ll tell you if it has any bearing on the murder investigation.”
“Sorry, Chief. We may be off the record, but we still have to play by the rules. I gather Cora doesn’t wish to discuss her presence at the service station. On the other hand, she’s perfectly willing to discuss your murder case.”
“Fine,” Harper said. He opened the back door of the police car, popped open his briefcase, pulled out a plastic evidence envelope. “Here you are. There was a puzzle found on the dead body. I’d like you to take a look at it, and tell me if you’ve ever seen it before. Is that all right with you, counselor? I’m not asking your client what she did at the filling station. I’m asking about a key piece of evidence in a murder case.”
“There’s a lot of puzzles in the world, Chief. How could she know if she’d seen this particular one?”
“She could if she recognized something about it. Then she could say yes. If she never saw anything like it, she could say no. If she happened to see the puzzle at the murder scene and wasn’t sure if this was it, she could say I don’t know. Doesn’t that cover it?”
Becky smiled. “You’re talking to a lawyer, Chief. I could give you half a dozen scenarios it doesn’t cover.”
“Great. Then you can tell me which case this happens to be. Well, Cora, have you ever seen this puzzle befo
re?”
Cora steeled herself, hoped that she could make a truthful answer. In point of fact, she remembered the sudoku pretty well. She was pretty sure she’d recognize it.
Cora took the evidence envelope, looked at it.
Stared.
It was not the sudoku she had seen on the body of the dead man.
It was a crossword puzzle.
ACROSS
1 Niagara Falls phenomenon
5 Saint with an alphabet named after him
10 1796 Napoleon victory site
14 Rights org. at the Scopes Trial
15 Spyri’s Alpine orphan
16 Pundit’s piece
17 Start of the hint
19 Be a rat
20 Musically monotonous
21 McGwire’s 1998 homer count
23 Heredity unit
25 Where lts. are trained
26 Sheltering org.
30 Part 2 of the hint
35 To a higher degree
37 You’re reading one
38 “Eureka!”
39 Year-end tune
40 Area of authority
42 Cow-horned goddess
43 Not Rx
44 Talk like a gangster
45 “Amscray!”
47 Part 3 of the hint
50 In great shape
51 Dapper guy?
52 Polishes off
54 Like some candles
58 Teased
63 Fontanne’s partner
64 End of the hint
66 Bowed, on a score
67 Vacant, in a way
68 “Yeah, sure!”
69 Stadium vendor’s load
70 Load of bull
71 Holy Week concludes it
DOWN
1 “Held” spread
2 Revered object
3 Veer
4 Veer
5 Place for laundry
6 From Mocha, e.g.
7 Umbrella part
8 Fateful time in the Forum
9 Trevi toss-ins, once
10 Far from cutting-edge
11 Time to hunt
12 Shoulder muscle, briefly
13 In a laid-back way
18 Shortage sign of the ’70s
22 Stand up and be counted