****
Lillian placed the spice box on her bed and sat beside it. Fear and excitement gripped her, playing tug-of-war with her heart. She loved Seth, but if the contents of the box proved nothing more than a gift of friendship it could crush her. Reaching a shaky hand toward the box, she said a quick prayer for strength. A note lay just inside the box atop a fold of blue material, the same color as the dress Hannah had made for her. Lillian’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, but she picked up the note nonetheless.
She was almost too afraid to open the note.
Dear Lillian,
It is difficult for me to express my deepest regret over the events that took place on Saturday night, but you have to know I would do it all over again for the sake of defending your honor.
Please accept this gift as a token of my sincere friendship, with the hope you’ll give me the chance to prove my worth to you.
The spice box belonged to my mamm, and the contents are the treasures I’ve been collecting since her passing. I pray that over time, you will add to these treasures and return it to me some day.
Seth
Tears welled up in Lillian’s throat at the gift Seth had given her. She didn’t even need to look at the contents of the box to know he’d given her his heart and was asking for hers in return. Excitement rose in her stomach like butterflies. Was it possible that she and Seth could make a life together? She would find out on Wednesday when she paid him a visit to thank him for the gift and to check on her furniture order. But for now, she couldn’t wait to get a look at what was underneath the blue fabric.
She lifted the delicate material, realizing it was an old-fashioned handkerchief with embroidered roses on it. With its silky crochet border, it was the most exquisite handkerchief she’d ever seen. Setting it aside, she dove into the contents that mostly appeared to be a collection of boyhood treasures. There was everything from a buffalo-head nickel, to snowflake cutouts and dried flowers, a cracked robin’s egg to acorns, small pinecones, and a heart-shaped rock.
But then a particular item caught her eye. In the midst of all the tiny keepsakes was a feather—a feather Lillian knew could have only come from one of her own chickens. She was the only one in the whole community to raise white bantam chickens. Her daed had questioned her when she’d ordered them from the feed store in Middlebury. She’d wanted them because their feathers were just like goose down, and she had told her daed all those years ago she was going to make a bundle of money making feather pillows. Lillian giggled at the thought of it. She’d only made enough pillows to satisfy her own familye before she tired of the laborious work she’d put into those few pillows.
Lillian held the fresh white plume against her cheek and closed her eyes. “Seth must have slipped this feather in his pocket the day he helped me clip their wings,” she said aloud.
Tears streamed down her face at the declaration of love wrapped up into that one little feather. How long had Seth loved her and kept it to himself? She knew she’d kept quiet about her feelings for him for nearly a year already. Had it really been that long? Why had she wasted so much time? Time that she could have spent with him. If she’d only said something to him—anything—they might be married now and expecting a boppli.
The very thought of carrying Seth’s boppli brought heat to her cheeks, and a fire to her belly. She continued to daydream of a life with Seth until her mamm called her downstairs for the evening meal.
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CHAPTER 26
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Before Lillian realized, it was Wednesday, and she was on her way to Seth’s haus to examine the furniture plans Seth would have ready for her. Yesterday had been so busy at the bakery she scarcely had a free minute to sit down and rest her aching feet. Seth had dropped Abby off in the morning, but hadn’t picked her up in the afternoon. He warned her ahead of time that he would be too busy that afternoon to get her, so she was on her own, having to leave the bakery early to get her twin siblings from school.
Lillian had waved to him through the front window of the bakery when he’d dropped off Abby, but neither of them had time to visit. This would be the first time she would be able to see him since she’d received his birthday gift for her. She was both excited and nervous to see him, especially since they had a lot to talk about. Lillian wondered if they would be able to have an easy conversation the way they had on Saturday night before the fight broke out. She’d enjoyed that magical time with him, and hoped they could get that back.
When Lillian pulled into the yard in front of Seth’s haus, she parked her buggy so that Nutmeg was under the pole barn and out of the wind. She stepped down and made sure there was fresh water in the trough before heading toward the barn. She stopped short when she noticed his daed sitting on the back stoop without a jacket. He shivered against the snow flurries swirling around him. Lillian rushed to the older man’s side. “What are you doing sitting out here in the cold? Are you hurt?”
Hiram took the hand Lillian offered to him. “Nee, I got a little disoriented and my head hurts. I should probably go in the haus before I catch cold.”
Lillian walked into the haus with Hiram on her arm. One quick survey of the kitchen proved it was in need of cleaning. “Kume, sit while I make a fresh pot of kaffi. Have you had anything to eat today?”
Hiram shook his head. “I haven’t had anything since the noon meal. With Seth busy working on his new business, I think he forgot about me this evening. He’s been burning the oil out of every lantern in the haus working late hours on his furniture.”
Lillian couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for Seth falling behind with the haus and care for his daed. She knew he was probably trying to get her order done quickly, so she would just have to help him. She set about the kitchen, getting a sink full of soapy water ready to soak the dishes while she began preparations for a meal. Grateful she’d brought muffins and biscuits for the two of them, she decided to serve them with the meal. A quick survey of the staples in the kitchen proved to be a little scarce, but she could fry up some potato wedges and ham steaks. It would be quick, and she could wash the dishes while the potatoes cooked.
Setting her mind to task, Lillian made light work of cleaning the kitchen and preparing a quick meal.
Hiram reached for the kaffi pot to freshen his cup while he waited for Lillian to finish with the cooking.
“You should sit and rest, Mr. Miller. I can get that for you.”
Hiram smiled as he sank back into his chair.
“You’re going to spoil me. My son is a lucky man to have you.”
Lillian blushed at his statement. She and Seth hadn’t made any kind of plans yet; was it possible that his daed knew something she didn’t know? She quickly finished the dishes before putting the ham steaks in the skillet to fry. It was an easy kitchen to work in, and she wondered what it would be like if she and Seth were to marry and this would be her kitchen. Heat rose up her neck until it reached her cheeks. Thankfully, her back was turned to Seth’s daed.
****
Seth hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. He was so engrossed in his work, and enjoying every minute of it, that he hadn’t noticed when it became dark outside of the warmth of the barn. It had been hours since he’d seen his daed, and he wondered how he was handling the extra workload in the haus. It was ironic that their roles had changed so quickly, but Seth was happier with this arrangement. He was happier working and letting his daed retire from his work as a harness maker. Seth still intended to fill the few orders that would come in from time to time, but his sole focus would now be on building his furniture business.
Seth stretched his sore back muscles and set his tools down. He’d finished the first of the four chairs Lillian had ordered from him. He looked at his pocket watch, wondering why she hadn’t shown up as planned. She was supposed to approve the designs for her order, and it was nearly too late for a social call. He’d even missed his evening meal, and hoped h
is daed had saved him a plate of whatever it was he’d made.
Pulling on his coat, he turned off the gas lanterns and threw open the large barn door and stepped outside, cold air assaulting his nostrils. Thick snowfall made him duck his head as he pushed up the collar of his jacket to shield the wind against his face. He closed the barn door and set the latch, making note that he would need to repair the loose hardware before winter winds tore the door from its hinges. Nearing the haus, Seth noticed Lillian’s buggy and wondered why she hadn’t come to the barn to see her order.
When he entered the mudroom, Seth could smell ham and potatoes. Had his daed invited Lillian to eat with him? After he finished hanging up his coat and hat, he turned the corner into the kitchen, surprised to see his daed sitting at the table while Lillian served him a plate of food. She turned around, her angelic face glistening from the heat of the stove.
“I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to pry you from the barn to eat.”
She smiled sweetly as she set a full plate of food at the place across from his daed.
Hiram looked at him with sunken eyes. “Sit down Seth. And Lillian please join us.”
Lillian hesitated, looking to Seth for approval. He didn’t say a word, but merely nodded for her to sit and share the meal with them—a meal she had obviously prepared. A quick survey of the clean kitchen suggested she may have taken care of that too.
Embarrassment suddenly consumed him, making it difficult to swallow the lightly seasoned potatoes. He didn’t want her thinking she needed to clean up after him. If they were married, that would be a different story, but they weren’t, and he felt she’d overstepped her boundaries.
Shame soon replaced Seth’s feelings of embarrassment. His daed was his responsibility, not Lillian’s. And he’d made a fair deal with his daed about the haus work falling on his shoulders now so he could work and provide for the aging man. If he needed to hire help for his daed, he would do that, but he didn’t want Lillian cleaning up after him. It just didn’t feel right.
Intending to speak to Lillian after the meal, he tried his best to engage in the small talk between her and his daed. How could he be so delighted to see her, and be so furious with her at the same time?
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CHAPTER 27
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A knock at the door startled Seth, who had been deep in thought. Rising from his chair, he gazed upon Lillian who was carrying on a light conversation with his daed, oblivious to the visitor who had interrupted their meal.
Seth opened the door, shocked and disturbed to see Henry standing on his back stoop, hat in hand.
Henry cleared his throat. “I know I’m the last person you want to see, but I came to speak my peace. I’d like to apologize.”
Seth gritted his teeth. “I believe Lillian is the one you should be apologizing to.”
He opened the door all the way and invited Henry inside. “She’s in the kitchen. You can go on in and tell her what you came here to say.”
Seth had conflicting thoughts at the moment. He would deal with the meal and dish-washing situation after they finished eating. But for now, he would make sure Lillian’s honor and reputation were protected. Following Henry into the kitchen, Seth caught sight of the look of melancholy on Lillian’s face. It was amazing how fast she went from smiling to frowning when she saw Henry.
Lillian dabbed at her mouth with the linen napkin from her lap and looked at Seth with fearful eyes.
“Henry has something he wants to say to you.” Seth gestured for Henry to begin, but hadn’t offered him to sit with them. Normally if folks dropped in during meal times, they would always get an invitation, but Seth wasn’t in an inviting mood at the moment.
Henry gripped his hat nervously and cleared his throat. “I came to tell Seth I was sorry for starting a fight, but I also want to say I’m sorry for the lies I told about you. The last thing I want to do is soil your reputation, and stand in the way of you marrying a man who will respect you for the kind person you are.”
Lillian knew she needed to forgive him, but she felt embarrassed in front of Seth and his daed.
Hiram looked up from his plate. “I think what you did was unforgivable. You should be horsewhipped.”
Lillian gasped at his comment. Though part of her agreed with him, she would never voice it out loud. “Denki for the apology. I’m sure it took great courage to come here and speak to us.”
Henry turned to Seth. “I want you to know, I never kissed Lillian. I lied because I was jealous of you. You’re a lucky man to have such a gut woman to love you.”
Lillian’s heart slammed against her ribcage. Why would he say such a thing? What if Seth doesn’t feel the same way?
Seth nodded, the corners of his mouth turning up.
“I think any man would be lucky to have her love him.”
Lillian let go of the breath she’d been holding in. Although he hadn’t agreed with Henry, at least he hadn’t openly rejected her. She stood abruptly and started clearing the table, knowing she needed to keep her hands busy.
Seth stood there and watched Lillian taking charge and cleaning up his kitchen for the second time today. He was stunned that she would be so gutsy as to take charge of a haus that wasn’t hers. Was she doing it because she found his domestic skills lacking? Or was she simply being kind and helpful? Her attitude didn’t appear condescending in any way, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t harboring loathsome feelings toward him or feeling obligated because of his incompetence. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it, and he intended to speak to her about it before she left.
Seth walked Henry out to his buggy. After a short conversation, which Seth had missed most of because he wasn’t really listening, he waved goodbye to Henry. The young man was the least of Seth’s troubles. Until he could sort out how he would handle the fact that Lillian was inside his kitchen cleaning it, he would get her horse ready for the trip home.
****
Lillian dried the last plate and wiped out the iron skillet, putting it back in the cabinet where she’d gotten it. Hiram was snoring lightly from his chair in the sitting room, and she found it comforting. It amazed her how comfortable she felt in Seth’s haus.
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CHAPTER 28
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Lillian took one last look at the kitchen before getting her coat from the mudroom. As she lifted it from its hook, she wondered if that would ever be her hook—if she could find her place here in this haus with Seth. She knew if she married him, it would be with the added responsibility of taking care of his daed. But she would gladly take on the extra workload if it meant she didn’t have to be lonely anymore. She’d longed for Seth for nearly a year, and now, it seemed, she was closer than ever to seeing that dream come to pass.
Exiting the haus, she felt a little sad that her time there would soon be over—for now, anyway. She found Seth in the barn smoothing stain on a beautifully handcrafted chair that she hoped was for her. Lillian pointed to the chair. “Is that for me?”
Seth beamed with happiness over his work. “Jah. If you don’t like this one, I can make another, but I thought this style would go nicely in your bakery.”
Lillian smiled. “Nee. Don’t change it, I like this one. Der Herr has really blessed you with a gift. It’s wunderbaar.”
She was leaning so close that Seth wanted to kiss her. He cleared his throat and backed up, reminding himself he needed to discuss the issue of boundaries. Mesmerized by her facial expression as she studied the plans for the tables, he lost his train of thought.
Lillian let out a little yelp. “Ach, I think I got a splinter from your work table. It stings.”
Seth took her hand to examine her index finger. “Jah, I see it. Looks pretty deep. But not to worry, I’m an expert at getting splinters out since I get them so often.”
He reached up and grabbed a box off the shelf above his head. Pulling out tweezers and strips
of cheese cloth, he turned up the lantern that sat on his work bench and held her hand under the light for a better look. When he neared her finger with the tweezers, she flinched.
Seth looked into her doe-eyes. Was it possible that he could love her as much as he did when they hadn’t even had one buggy ride together yet?
“I’m not going to hurt you. Relax your hand. It will make things easier.”
“For who?” she squealed.
Seth couldn’t help but smile. “For both of us.”
He tried to maneuver the splinter from her finger, but he may have lodged it deeper. Pulling a needle and thread and a small bottle of rubbing alcohol from the box, he sterilized the needle and set to work trying to remove it.
“Now hold still. I might have to dig just a little to get the last of it.”
Lillian jerked her hand from his grasp. “It will work its way out on its own sooner or later.”
Seth looked at her sternly. “And in the meantime, it will get infected.”
“I don’t want you to hurt me.”
Seth pulled her hand into his, holding it gently. “I could never hurt you.”
They both just sat there for a moment, until Seth couldn’t stand it any longer. He let go of her hand and cupped her face in his hands, drawing her to him. Adrenaline coursed through him like an electric current when his lips touched hers. The more he kissed her, the more he wanted from her. She was intoxicating like raw honey, and her mouth tasted sweet. He was dizzy with passion for this woman, but he pulled himself away from her before things went any further. He had the rest of his life to explore the depth of his love for her, but for now, he had a splinter to remove.
Amish Winter Wonderland: Book Two Page 9