by K. A. Poe
“I’m sorry, Madison,” he said quietly and sat up, but I tugged him back down.
“Quit apologizing for kissing me.” I laughed. “Do you realize how silly it sounds?”
“I do ... and yet, it seems like the appropriate thing to do. You ... there is more to this Mathias thing than you let on. I do not wish to intervene when there are feelings involved between you and him. And yet, at the same time ... I do.”
I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair again, almost unaware of the gesture even as I did it. “Alan, let’s not talk about this right now. Please. I’m tired and ... just let’s not talk about it. Okay?”
His eyes searched mine, then he reached for my hand and placed it in his again. “We will talk about this. Perhaps not now. Maybe not even tomorrow ... but we will talk about it. Before either of us gets hurt.”
I nodded slowly in agreement. Ignoring the pangs of hunger in my stomach, I turned over and let myself begin to drift off into sleep, barely aware of the light kiss on the back of my head and the way his arm encircled gently around my waist.
Tossing and turning, I struggled to remain asleep. A relentless banging that I couldn’t determine where was coming from sounded throughout the room. My eyes fluttered open with a start and I noticed the slumbering presence beside me. Alan looked at peace, his eyes moving rapidly beneath their thin lids; he must have been dreaming. The loud sound alerted me once more, reminding me why I’d woken up. The alarm clock on my nightstand showed that it was only 6:57 in the morning — far earlier than I’d planned on waking up. I turned on my side, my back facing Alan, and attempted to ignore the noise and fall back asleep, but it was persistent.
I jumped up in frustration, shoving my pillow off of the bed and causing Alan to stir, but he remained asleep. To my surprise and relief, Mom was asleep in her bed. I wondered anxiously if she’d been aware that there was a boy in my bed ... I hoped not. The source of the noise was now evident — someone was knocking on my bedroom door. How was it that no one else had been woken up by it? I groaned then snuck across the room, my heart racing as I neared the door. My mind was hopeful that I would discover Artemis standing on the other side, bearing good news.
To my dismay, it was only Serena. Her hair color had changed since I’d last seen her; the long strawberry locks were now a rainbow of colors. Strands of bright green, blue, purple, red, and orange streamed down from her scalp and fell in wispy swoops at her shoulders. I blinked the sleep away from my eyes and looked her over again, just to make sure I hadn’t imagined things. She was dressed in a tight-fitting long-sleeved black top with faux fur ruffling at the sleeves and hem, a black skirt and tights. Her face was made up in shades of cotton candy and bubblegum.
“Why aren’t you ready?” she asked me.
“Huh? What’re you talking about?”
“Um, it’s the day we’re supposed to go back to school? So we don’t miss out on important stuff for exams. Did you forget? I’m so ready to go back, as weird as that sounds.”
“Oh, crap … I completely forgot about going back.”
And I honestly could have done without the reminder, I thought glumly.
“Well, you’d better or you’ll be stuck in the same grade again. Exams are next week ... and they’re like half our grade or something. At least Thanksgiving’s right after that.”
Thanks to being so occupied with the myriad of things happening in my life, I had somehow forgotten how closely the holidays were approaching, though it did feel like forever since Halloween. In that moment, I wondered what Thanksgiving would be like now that Eila and Jason were separating. My former-adoptive mom always made huge dinners for the holiday, even if only a small amount of people showed up, and Uncle Mitchell always came to help. There was nothing I looked forward to more in November than Uncle Mitch’s famous, as he called it, sweet potato casserole.
Serena distracted me from my thoughts by asking, “Well, are you going dressed like that, or what?”
“I-I don’t know if I can go,” I managed to say.
“Oh, you’re going. Whether you think you can or not. I’m not stepping back in there alone.”
With a shake of my head, I begrudgingly agreed and went into the bathroom to change. My outfit wasn’t nearly as extravagant or overdone as my best friend’s — jeans, a dark gray wool coat that tied in the front, and a pair of leather boots. I took one final glance at Alan who was still asleep on my bed, one leg now dangling over the edge, his dark hair fallen across his eyes, and that same peaceful look about his face. My body yearned to crawl back beside him and sleep the rest of the day away, but Serena was right — I needed to go back to school if I wanted to pass. I summoned a piece of paper and a pen and quickly jotted down a note to Alan saying where I went and laid it beside him; hopefully he’d find it.
When Serena and I got outside, I noticed that the parking lot was dusted with a layer of snow. There were heaps of the white powder covering the surrounding foliage, the mountains in the distance, and what had once been grass and flowers. The parking lot, however, had practically been wiped clean, save for the fine layer that was quickly melting against the salt. The sound of the doors to Serena’s car unlocking filled my ears and I grimaced; I’d much rather have walked, but it was incredibly cold out ... then again, that was a whole other reason not to ride in the car. Snow was slick, and Serena wasn’t the most seasoned driver.
“Come on, Madison. I’m not going to kill us,” Serena teased as she climbed into the driver side seat.
I stood, shivering, on the sidewalk and stared hesitantly at the running vehicle. Her experience coupled with the icy conditions was like an accident waiting to happen. Regardless, I gathered my courage and got into the car.
Serena pulled out of the parking lot, switched on the radio which streamed out loud pop music, and began singing along happily. There was definitely something off about her behavior — being excited for school? That was the complete opposite of my best friend. She had been in pretty much a near-constant depressive state since the incident with her parents, and she had never liked school … aside from the boys and all the attention they gave her.
I reached over and turned the volume down all the way and looked at her.
“Hey! I like that song!” Serena objected.
“Yeah, I could tell …” I said and paused. “What’s going on, Serena?”
“What do you mean? I’m driving to school.” She was oblivious.
“No, I mean ... why are you so happy?”
She shrugged and stared out the windshield, waiting for the light before us to turn. “I don’t know.”
“I haven’t seen you this happy since you were last with Zach. Did you see him again last night or something?”
“Since I’ve been out of school for a few days, he hasn’t really been talking to me much. Busy with the guys, I guess. And he doesn’t seem to want to hear about the ... what happened with my mom and dad. Every time I try to mention it he says he has to go or changes the subject.”
“That’s terrible,” I said, almost inaudibly.
The car jerked forward. “It’s okay.”
Blinking in confusion, I asked, “Then ... what is it?”
“Really, Madison? Can’t I just be happy for a day, just for the sake of being happy?” She thrust her arm forward and turned the volume back up.
Knowing something was going on and refusing to let her get away with not telling me, I hit the button to turn the radio off completely. “Serena. Are you on drugs or something?”
Serena looked over at me, her eyes wide and confused momentarily, and then she unleashed a roar of hysterical laughter. “Umm, let me think. No.”
“Serena! Watch the road!” I shrieked, grasping tightly onto my seat.
The car swerved and almost hit a parked van on the side of the street. “Look, I just finally had some fun again for once last night. That’s all.”
“What do you mean fun? You mean with Zach? I thought you said it wasn’t anyth
ing to do with him so…”
Serena looked distracted. “Are you hungry? I’m starving. Can you do that ... magic thing you do and like, summon me a danish or something?”
I slammed my hand against the dashboard. “Serena, answer me, damn it!”
She scoffed and looked at me briefly before returning her focus onto the road. “God, fine. Just summon that for me and I’ll tell you.”
With ease, I summoned two cheese danishes in my hands — one for me and one for her. I offered one of them over to Serena and she took it, biting into the flaky texture. She had only one hand on the steering wheel, only increasing my nerves.
“So,” she said after a bite of the pastry, “last night, I finally gave in and tried to call my mom. She was crying as soon as she answered. It made me start to cry. She said she ‘couldn’t’. I guess she meant she couldn’t talk, ‘cause she hung up. I tried to call again but it went straight to voicemail. So, I tried calling Zach. It rang like, six times, but no answer. By then I was thinking of everything that happened and squalling. It was really late, but I figured you wouldn’t care if I came by and saw you. So I walked down the short hall to the lobby to make my way over to your side of the building, but then I saw some strange orange lights out the windows, and heard something.”
“What ...?” I was on the edge of my seat, wondering what she could have seen — had it been a Nefastus witch or something outside? Why would that have made her happy, though …
“Well, I know I probably shouldn’t have, but I went out there. You know me, right?” She laughed and chewed the last piece of danish. “There was someone out there laughing and throwing balls of fire into the snow. I couldn’t believe it at first. Part of me wanted to run back inside. It was scary, yet so beautiful at the same time. The snow was melting instantly and making huge puffs of steam. Fire shot into the air, melting the falling snowflakes. It was awesome.”
“Noah,” I said and looked at her in bewilderment. “Noah … made you happy …?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Serena confirmed my question with a nod.
“So ... you’re happy ... because you saw Noah melting some snow?”
Serena laughed again. “Not just because of the fire. He saw me and, I don’t know how he could tell in the dark, but he knew I’d been crying. He came over and asked me what was wrong, then tried to hug me, well, he did hug me, and I don’t know why I let him, but I did ... and I started crying again for some reason. So he took me inside and —”
My eyes widened and I continued staring at her. “Please tell me you didn’t do anything with Noah.”
“What?” There was that laughter again. “No. We didn’t do anything ... not like that. We just talked in the lobby, like, all night.”
“Thank goodness,” I whispered.
Serena looked away from the wheel, toward me, obvious annoyance pasted on her face. “Besides, what would it matter if I had?”
I couldn’t believe she’d even ask me that; I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, we’d pulled into the school parking lot and I was able to quickly change the subject. “I’m so not ready to go back. I don’t know if I can even do this.”
Serena switched off the engine and placed a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”
The rest of the school day was a blur of teachers rambling on about one thing or another, bombardments of schoolwork and makeup work, people I barely knew inquiring as to where I’d been, and the overwhelming loneliness I felt despite the fact that I was literally surrounded. I felt out of place in that building, and the entire day felt like I’d been watching it go by through someone else’s eyes. None of it felt real. To say it was a relief to rush through the doors and head back into the snow outside was an understatement. I didn’t even care anymore about Serena driving; I just wanted to get back to Haven and be done with school.
During the drive back to the motel, Serena blabbed on and on about how great it was to see Zach and how he seemed totally normal and happy to see her. All I could do was sit there and listen, because even if the story bored me, I was still glad that things were improving for my best friend. I’d definitely rather her be with Zach than ending up with Noah, of all people …
We entered the lobby after scrapping excess snow off of our shoes. Serena had been crazy to wear high heels out into this weather, but little stopped her from making a statement. The wet flakes of snow in her rainbow-colored locks reminded me of sparkling gems as they melted away in the welcoming, heated air. Noah stood from the sectional and headed straight to Serena.
“Hey there,” he said with a grin and I rolled my eyes.
Serena seemed happy, and I was glad of that, but I was still annoyed by the whole thing. Why hadn’t she just ignored the orange lights outside and came to my room?
He turned toward me and pointed his thumb over his shoulder and down the hall that led to my room. “Some guy stopped by a few minutes ago and went to your room. Think he was your dad or something? I don’t remember exactly who he said he was ... Jonathon? Jackson? Anyway, Iris let him in. He seemed harmless enough.”
“Jason?” I asked, alarmed. He never came into the building. Something was wrong. Either that or Mom had convinced him to overcome his discomfort of the place and they were making out in my bedroom. I shuddered with disgust and stormed out of the lobby, headed toward my room. Serena tried to get my attention, but I ignored her.
I pushed my door open and spotted my mom and Jason sitting together on her bed. He immediately stood up and approached me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, stepping back once. “And on her bed?
Jason frowned, a flash of hurt in his eyes. “How is that a way to speak to your own dad? And I was just sitting, Madison. Sitting.”
I considered scoffing and reminding him that he wasn’t my dad, but thought better of it. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“I knew you were out of school for a few days and were due to go back today, so I wanted to stop by and see if you went and how the day had gone.”
“It was fine …” He’d never taken an interest in my schooling before. “I have some stuff to catch up on before finals next week … before Thanksgiving.”
Jason shifted and looked around awkwardly and glanced over his shoulder at Mom. She stood from the bed, smiling lightly at me, and said she’d leave us alone to talk.
“No,” I disagreed and held a hand up to stop her from going any further. “You can stay. You’re my mom, after all. Whatever it is, I don’t care if you hear.”
She glanced between me and Jason, a frown temporarily on her face, then shook her head and smiled again. “That’s okay. I’ll be right outside.”
I watched my mom step out the door and shut it behind her.
Jason took my hand and led me to the dining area; he pulled out a chair and offered it to me. I wasn’t sure I wanted to sit and hear whatever bad news was coming, but I gave in. He sat across from me, his palms flat against the tabletop. “So, speaking of Thanksgiving ... that was another thing I’d wanted to talk about. Do you have any plans?”
Holidays were the last thing I wanted to think about or discuss right now ...
“Well, let’s see,” I said with a sigh, “I’m not going to Serena’s because, if you haven’t noticed, things aren’t exactly sunshine and rainbows over there right now. Oh wait, that reminds me ... things aren’t great at ours either. Seeing that you’re sleeping with my long lost mother and Eila threw you out and all, I don’t think Thanksgiving is a good idea.”
Jason looked embarrassed and upset, a mixture of hurt and fury all tangled into one. It didn’t make for a pleasant expression. I’d never seen him quite so angry before and wondered if I shouldn’t have said anything.
He inhaled deeply and clenched his fists tightly before responding. “I am NOT sleeping with Alexis! Yes, I do love her ... more than words could ever express ... but I also still love Eila. Believe it or not. She is still my wife, even if we’re not together right now. She�
��s also your mom, biological or not. Alex and I are just ... friends. Really good friends. I’m helping her out with some stuff right now, but that’s it, okay?”
I shook my head in disbelief. “I know you’ve gone out a couple times, remember? I’m not stupid.”
He sighed again and put his head in his hands. “We have. But that’s the extent of it. There’s nothing ... sexual ... between us. I considered it —”
“Wow, Dad, too much information.” I gagged.
He sighed. “Look, there’s still a part of her that’s stuck on Salem. It will always be that way, and I know that. There’s not enough room in her heart for both of us, there never was. He’s gone. Forever. But sometimes … when she is falling asleep … or even when not … she’s said his name in place of mine. It’s like her soul doesn’t know that he is gone.”
I shifted around where I sat. Maybe there truly was such a thing as twin souls …
“And ... well … Eila and I have started talking again.”
“Whoa, wait. When did that happen?” I asked in shock.
“Just a few days ago. I called her to ask about Thanksgiving and if she would at least have you over and cook so you could enjoy the holiday like always. I know how much you’ve always looked forward to them ... and we just sort of started talking. She seems to be doing a lot better. And we want to try to work this out. If we can.”
“Work what out? Dinner?”
“All of it. Everything. Us.”
I shuffled around again, not sure what to think of this. Hadn’t both of them said they were never truly happy together? Although I did want my ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ to get back together, it seemed somehow weird. It would definitely make things a lot easier when my real dad was back in our lives and my mom could be reunited with him, though. If that ever happened …