M2 joined me with his schnapps. “Don't worry about it. It'll come to you before we land, I'll bet.” He slapped me on my back. “I'm still chuckling over the way you handled that third degree.”
Although I wasn't paying much attention, my driving mode brain did pick up on the third degree comment. I had another idea. Harry was very cooperative when I asked to borrow a protractor and a divider. Here was another guy who knew not to be overly curious. He simply dug the articles out of a satchel and gave them to me.
First, I used the divider to locate the center of a line I drew between Ginah and Ezbet Dush. Then I laid the protractor on the line and marked off 103.2 degrees heading eastward. The line went northeast above Idfu. I did the same between Idfu and Sadd el-Aali except that I drew the line heading west at 54.7 degrees. It crossed the other line. I had a location.
“Excuse me,” I called out.
Instantly, I had four other bodies crowding all around. This time I gave no explanations. I simply pointed to the spot on the map and said, “This is where I think we'll find Carl.”
Alice grabbed my shoulder stiff-armed and sputtered, “Hooo… Yoooo… Hot damn!”
Of course, I then had to give them the details, but I did it with grace and humility.
“We still have a problem to solve in Washington,” Alice said, while refilling her glass, “but tonight we celebrate for we are once again in the driver's seat.
CHAPTER 18
We went to the hotel for a quick wash-up. It was just after the lunch hour, but we had snacked on the plane and were not hungry. I finished dressing and was doling out my ration of Old Spice when Jean came through the door I had left open. She walked up to me, put her arms around my chest and tucked her head under my now fragrant chin. I wrapped her back with my arms and we just stood there in silence.
Her voice was soft. “Thank you, James. I've never, ever felt so alive.”
As she was talking, our three partners came through the door.
As soon as she saw us, Alice said, “Group hug, everyone.”
We had our group hug and it was not the least bit awkward. We were a team and a solid unit.
“My, don't we all smell good,” Alice said, “but it's time to leave. First, we have a meeting with our really big cheese. Bring all of your souvenirs and your tool kits. These rooms are not secure. A satellite reconnaissance confirms that the spot where the lines cross is a good bet, tire tracks and stuff.”
Our taxi was a good-sized van. I sat on the backbench with Jean and M2. As we moved out into traffic I was thinking of what Jean had said about feeling alive. Suddenly, I felt a little surge of anger. Was it me or was it the adventure that so delighted her? Am I here only to show her a good time? When this was all over and life returns to normal, would she again look elsewhere for stimulation and meaning? I haven't changed, just my current activities. Suddenly the image of Bebe flashed through my mind. My anger faded away, replaced with humor. I chuckled to myself, but Jean noticed.
“A Reichspfennig for your thoughts,” she said.
My answer was a reasonable deviation from the truth. “What would you have thought if, two weeks ago, I had said to you that you would soon be exploring deep in the bowels of the Harz Mountains in Germany?”
She turned to face me. She had the same look in her eyes that she had as she was getting into the GPR Ford. “Two weeks ago is another life, James. It's all I can do to absorb my new world, but I'll have an answer if the dust ever settles, and I hope it never does.”
Our first stop at headquarters was the reception room of Alice's original office. To be precise, our stop was at the receptionist's desk. Alice took time to introduce us to the young lady. Her name was Jackie. We crammed all of our tool kits and souvenirs under her big desk. I now knew there was at least one person in the building that Alice trusted.
Our next stop was a considerable distance away in another part of the building. It was a large conference room, set up with easy chairs and a glut of electronic equipment. A set of double doors on the wall to the left banged open. Here came the really big cheese pushing a cart loaded with snacks and a big coffee urn. This was a good sign because it could only mean that by playing waiter, he wanted to show us that he was a regular guy. Or just maybe he was truly a regular guy. Either way, it was good news.
He parked the cart and said to Alice, “Welcome home, my dear. I'm glad to see you back safely from this new escapade. Why don't you introduce me to the Cagneys?”
“Mr. Monroe,” Alice said, “meet our new hires, Jean and James Cagney.” He shook hands with Jean, me and then the boys who he called by their first names. He served us coffee and a plate of food and then we all sat down in a grouping of easy chairs. Our meeting with the director was more like a conversation among friends.
He glanced at his cell phone. “I expect you know there are few people who work in this building that I have yet to meet. This is a big place and it's not my style to rule by fiat. I can suffer fools as long as they suit my purpose. Right now there are people bustling around the Harz Mountains and it does suit my purpose to have them there as long as they find nothing.” To Alice, he said, “Will they find nothing?”
She replied, “Yes, sir, nothing at all.”
He began to manufacture a sandwich. “Good, I read the preliminary report you phoned in and now I'm ready for your full report. I hope you have more good news for me.”
As Alice began to speak, I sat there amazed at the turn of events. These people were miles ahead of me. The moment she saw the large Morgan Bruno, she knew he should know nothing of what we had discovered. No wonder she was so happy I told him a whopper. Things were once again looking up so I sat back to listen.
Alice amazed me once more with the depth of her recollections and the vividness of her descriptions. It was like living it again. The director became mesmerized. He forgot his sandwich. She talked for almost thirty minutes and her audience sat like statues.
“So, Jim lied to Bruno like a veteran,” Alice concluded. “And he did it without me telling him that he should. It was perfection.”
The director sat quietly for a few moments. There was a thoughtful look enhanced by a faint smile on his face. We were all dwelling in the moment and it felt good.
“Well, well, well,” he finally said, “nothing we've done has ever gone this well and this rapidly. I see myself as trotting along behind, trying to catch up and I only hope it stays that way. None of you want a vacation, do you?”
We all shook our heads.
He shifted in his chair to address Jean and me directly. “Good, very good. Now let's talk about the main event. Our little group, and by that I mean the people in this room and my adjutant, are the only ones who know the full extent of your findings, especially the bar of soap, which is still a complete mystery.” He paused and scratched his head. “A complete mystery is a complete understatement, but I lack the vocabulary to express the importance of your phenomenal find. I must emphasize the need for secrecy. There are many people worldwide who are eager to do us harm. Some are in our country and I’m sure some are in our government. Be constantly on guard.
“Your discoveries in Germany may well be the tip of a monstrous iceberg. God only knows what more we’ll find under that mountain, but Egypt is first. I have a greater sense of urgency and along with that urgency things are about to get much more serious and dangerous. You may think that if you get caught in a foreign country, we will pretend that we don't know you. That is the case at times and you should assume that it is the case with you. If we do have emergency rescue plans, it's best you know nothing of them. I don't wish to discourage you in any way, but from this point on I must have a clear conscience about sending you to a bad place. It is entirely possible that I may never see you alive again after today. If you choose to leave now, you may go with nothing but our gratitude and our thanks.”
He leaned back, crossed his legs and waited for our reaction.
I looked at Jean for a moment. “We'
re in for the duration.”
“Very good,” he said. “Now, Alice, what's your plan? What do you need?”
“All five of us are going,” she said. “I need between twelve and twenty-four hours to do my setup and planning here. We should be on site in Egypt in less than forty-eight hours. There's a slim chance that we'll be there before Carl and Roy arrive. I'll have the details for you before this time tomorrow.”
The director got up from his chair. “Go to it and good luck.”
After solid handshakes he left, pushing the little cart, by the same door through which he entered.
I turned to Alice. “I know you plan ahead, but I'm so far behind that I can't even see your dust. Did you and the director know that Bruno would show up? Were you prepared for him?”
“Bruno was a surprise,” she said. “Otherwise I would have briefed all of you on how to react. Situations like this have occurred in the past and the director gives me the freedom to be as flexible as necessary. I can assure you that he has your back as well as mine.
“By the way, I'm moving back into my office. The janitor is in custody, but we're pretty sure he was just a paid stooge. He knew he was doing something off-color, but didn't know the purpose. In fact he didn't know the machine was a voice recorder. I think I'll just let the mechanism wind down. I don't need to see the clockwork move.”
One long hallway later we found our elevator.
“We'll split up here,” Alice said. “M1 and I have to go over logistics and all that. M2 will take Jean and you, James, to our costume room. I'll call ahead and tell them what you need.”
CHAPTER 19
Alice and M1 went up and the rest of us went down to begin another trek. I do believe that after I die (if I receive a negative report) I will end up in purgatory. There I will have to trudge down endless hallways, identical to the ones we were currently negotiating.
“Considering the number of people who inhabit this building,” I said to M2, “you must be wasting millions of man hours just moving around these never ending hallways.”
“Oh, no,” he said. “This is a major exercise program. Of course, it's a forced program, but don't you feel a lot better after spending a day here?”
“Since it's the government we're dealing with,” I sighed, “I almost believe you.”
There was no Costume Room sign on the door we entered. There were no racks of clothing. Instead, it looked like an industrial shipping room full of cabinets, shelves and a lot of unmarked packages. It was a bit puzzling as we walked up to the counter.
“The actual processing begins next door,” M2 said, “but this is where we check in. I hope Aunt Bee is on duty.”
“Aunt Bee?” Jean said.
M2 dinged a little bell on the counter. “Once you meet her, you'll see.”
Jean smiled. “Well, I just met Sergeant Schultz, so why not Aunt Bee? This is ever so much better than any television show I've ever seen.”
I smiled back. “I just feel like a leaf bobbing and swirling in a rapid stream. The landscape flashes by, but all I can do is look. I have no control.”
A door on the wall to the right opened and Aunt Bee made her entrance. I could see in her face that she knew she bore a striking resemblance to the original and she was enjoying our reaction. Even her hair and apron covered dress were similar.
“Hello, Michael,” she said, and then switched her gaze to us. “Welcome, folks. You must be Jean and James. Alice called and we're all ready for you.”
She lifted a flap on the counter and waved us in. “Michael, you take James to Tank Room A. I'll take Jean with me.”
“Can't we stay together?” Jean asked.
“Of course you can,” Aunt Bee said, “but the first thing you have to do is to take off every last stitch of clothing.”
“I think I'll just shut up,” Jean said. “See you later, James.”
I followed M2 as he walked to the back of the room and entered a corridor with doors on each side. Jean and Aunt Bee were not far behind. The first door on the left was Tank Room A and as M2 and I entered, I looked back at Jean and gave her a wink. All I got in return was the obscene gesture I use when responding to Batt's greeting.
M2 was holding the door and saw the whole exchange. “That gal is really something.”
“You nailed it,” I said.
The new room was not all that big. There was the usual desk and chairs near the door, lockers along one wall, a big cabinet, massage table and a king sized hot tub sunk halfway into the floor. Standing beside it was a young, athletic looking man in a white uniform. He had a long pole in his hands, stirring the contents of the tub.
“Hi, Gerry,” M2 called out.
Gerry looked up, set his pole aside and walked over to shake hands.
“The brew is ready,” he said, indicating the tub whose contents were still unseen. He glanced at me. “Come on over and check the color. You can leave your clothes on the massage table.”
I stared at the contents of the tub in disbelief. “This is the Hershey Chocolate Factory, right?”
M2 laughed. “I'm sorry, James, but I really didn't know until just this minute.
Gerry handed me a paper with color swatches. “Alice said she was sending two people who needed to be dark skinned. We use a common color chart. She chose a brown, number eight. It'll wear off in a few weeks. That's all I know.”
“Thanks, Gerry,” M2 said. “Although I didn't speak to her, I'm sure she wants you two disguised as locals, especially because Jean speaks the language. You two can go where we can't.”
“Okay, but why aren't you and M1 joining me in the tub?”
“Take a look at M1 and me. Even if we took the bath and put on a robe we wouldn't look like the locals. Just check my splendid physique. Our job will be to stay out of sight, but be there for back up. The thing is, we don't know exactly what we face. Possibly, you may never have to mix with the locals and all of this will have been for naught, but we have to be ready for anything.”
I proceeded to disrobe. “I'm sold. I can't wait to compare notes with Jean.”
Gerry handed me a swimming snorkel without goggles. “You have to remain totally submerged for about fifteen minutes. Keep your eyes closed and keep moving some. Raise your feet and butt cheeks regularly and lift your arms. We don't want any skin-to-skin contact. You'll find a bench under the liquid. Sit on it and I'll crank it down to the proper level. When time’s up, I'll wiggle your snorkel and you'll stand up.”
I sat and it wasn't too bad, just boring. Next was a double shower that allowed me to admire all of my new brown parts. As soon as I was dry, Gerry gave me my shorts and hustled me to his hair salon. That's what he called his barber chair with a Frankenstein dryer hung on the back.
“This is a little tricky,” he said. “I need to bleach your hair without bleaching your scalp.”
I had almost reached the head nodding stage when Gerry turned off the big blower, removed the towel and pronounced me complete.
“So, where's the mirror?” I asked.
“You look gorgeous,” M2 said, “but I think Jean should see you first.”
“Has she seen a mirror yet?” I asked.
“No,” M2 replied, “and I just got word that Aunt Bee completed her makeover. She's wildly anxious for you to see her and approve.”
“Jeez,” I said, “I feel like I'm picking up my prom date.”
“She's in the next room, waiting for you,” Gerry said. “You go in first, then I wheel in a mirror and then you put on robes and we all move on.”
As I approached the door to the room where Jean was waiting, I told myself that no matter how grotesque she looked, I must be kind and supportive. With that thought foremost in my mind, I opened the door. There was an empty clothing rack just inside the door. I ran into it full tilt and sent it flying across the room. It was not visible to me because I only had eyes for the fabulous dark beauty standing alone in bra and panties, her hands folded across her chest. Her short, white hai
r clung to her scalp like a silver helmet. As I hobbled toward her, rubbing the bruise on my shin, she smiled.
“My God, you are a handsome brute,” she said. There was a genuine look of approval on her face. “Here you are smashing furniture just to get to me.”
“Just wait until you see yourself in a mirror,” I said. “No joke, babe, you are exquisite.”
“Thank you, Sir Galahad.”
The kindly Aunt Bee entered with a knowing smile on her face. “I did a good job, did I not?”
Jean answered. “Not simply good, superb.”
Seconds later, M2 pushed through the other door with an almost full-length mirror that he positioned in front of us.
“Oh…” was Jean's only comment as we gazed at the exotic couple we saw in the glass.
M2 clapped his hands. “That's it, gang. Aunt Bee has robes for you. Put them on, we have much to do. Hike yourselves up those steps in the back and go through the door.”
We did as told. Seated, side-by-side in a complete beauty parlor, M2 snapped a picture of us together.
“I need to do this now when both of you are gorgeous,” he said, “because you are about to become authentic. I'm not sure you'll want me to take pictures when you leave this room.”
“Aunt Bee, when this is over, can you put me back to what I look like now?” Jean asked.
“My land, yes,” she replied. “You want to have fun with the new you?”
“I signed on for the whole trip,” Jean said, “and I insist on taking all the detours.”
Gerry toweled me and went to work. “I'm blacking two of your front teeth and yellowing the rest. Don't smile when you are close to someone. I'm also going to bleach specific areas on your forehead and cheeks. This will make you look older and gaunt. Don't worry; Jean is getting the same treatment.”
“She will despise you both until the end of eternity,” I said.
“I got insurance,” Gerry said, “and remember, we can put Humpty Dumpty back together again.”
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