I opened my gills taking in the warm, rich water. I could find Sam now, talk to him and get his help with everything. For the first time in my life, I had someone I trusted completely. It felt amazing. I hadn’t solved anything, the police probably still thought I was killing people; but tonight, as I hung in the ocean, it didn’t matter.
My body drifted on the waves, and I didn’t pay much attention to the world until I heard the crying. At first, I thought it was a bird, maybe a gull. But the longer I listened the worse it was, horrible gut wrenching sobs sounding like they were ripped from someone’s very soul. Mermaids didn’t cry easily, and I’d always wished for the relief that tears brought. These tears didn’t sound like that. They sounded like pain, raw pain.
They drew me to the beach, the one where Heather’s body had been found, the same beach where I’d let Tiffany wash up. At first, I couldn’t see anything, and then slowly I realized a tiny ball on the shore was a person, a girl. She curled up on herself, arms around her knees, knees tight to her chest. The opposite of how a mermaid sits, she looked like she wanted to make herself the smallest thing in the world. Her tears were a haunting melody and before I realized it, I’d drifted too close to the beach. Then, without thinking, I switched back to my legs and went closer. Close enough to see the crying girl was Ashley.
I walked out of the water naked, but didn’t feel ashamed. All my thoughts were on her and what I could do to help. I sat down next to her in the sand and put my arm around her.
“Ashley?” I whispered her name. “What’s wrong, honey? What can I do to help?”
“Oh no. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was crying, it’s not the same,” she wailed, making no sense.
I ignored her confusion. “What happened? Did someone hurt you?”
She stopped crying and sniffled, her breath coming after a long hitch. “Not really.”
“Not really? Tell me.”
“There’s this guy. I met him and we talked. He seemed like a really nice guy but then, he asked me to do some stuff. I thought it’d be fun, I mean, I knew I shouldn’t, but I kinda wanted to. But then, when it was over, I knew it was wrong.”
“Oh no, Ashley, what happened?” I thought of rape and all the ways a man could’ve hurt her.
Her voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper. “He wanted me to sing for him.”
“What?” Her answer didn’t make any sense. Worse, I realized how crazy I must look sitting naked on the beach, trying to comfort her. Me, comfort Ashley? The idea sounded insane.
“I’m not…I’m not normal.” Her voice sounded so tiny. “I’ve never told anyone but him. It felt like he knew, like he knew the real me, and then when he asked it didn’t seem like it was such a big deal. It was going to happen someday anyway, why not now? I mean, he wanted it and I wanted to do it and…”
“Ashley, are you really talking about singing?”
She nodded, tear tracks on her bright red face, her nose swollen from sniffling.
“That doesn’t make any sense. Singing?”
She nodded again. “I’m a…a…” She shook her head. “Oh hell.” And then she sang the words, “Raise your hand.”
I moved my arm, my hurt arm, like I was in school and desperate to give the answer. I didn’t even think of how stupid it was I just did it. I wanted to do it. It felt like the right thing to do.
“I’m a siren,” Ashley explained, and then she fell into a crying jag. I comforted her with one arm, because even though I knew it was a siren’s song that compelled me to keep my hand in the air, I still wanted it there. It throbbed with pain but I kept it up.
“Come on, Ashley. Don’t you think that’s a little crazy? You don’t even look Greek.”
She kept her eyes fixed on the ocean, speaking in a wooden tone. “My people were some of the first settlers on Savage Beach. It was a place where we could stay, be accepted. Instead, I walk around all day knowing if anyone knew, they’d hate me. They probably hate me anyway, or worse, they love me and they don’t know why. It happened all the time when I was kid. I’d say something in a singsong voice and people would fall all over themselves for me. Except they really didn’t care. It’s just what I do, which is why I made the rule of no singing ever.”
She looked at me and hummed a little, then sang, “Put your arm down.”
I dropped my arm immediately, rubbing around the shark bite to get to sore muscles. Pins and needles had set in and still I’d kept my arm up. Crazy, but then again, not as crazy as a mermaid or a salt golem.
“But this guy—he made you break your rule?”
She shrugged. “He seemed so sweet. He told me I should celebrate my voice, let the world hear it. I mean, my dad’s a rock star. He gets to sing.”
“Yeah, how does that work?”
“Boys suck at compelling people. Dad could sing all day and you’d maybe want to do something. I sing for three seconds and you’ve already done it. Edgar made it sound like that was a good thing, something I should be practicing.”
“Wait. Edgar?”
She nodded. “He’s a gallery owner. I sketch a little. I mean, I’m sure it’s bad, but I wanted someone who knew to say that. Only when I showed up, he didn’t really look at my artwork. He just locked the door and said we needed to talk.”
I thought about Edgar’s comments to me and how they’d left me feeling angry and confused. I bet he twisted Ashley’s head around without even trying.
“So what you’d sing for him?”
She blushed beet red and buried her head between her knees. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Was it something about the murders?”
“No!” She paused, bending her head even farther down. “Not at first. At first, he just wanted to see what it felt like, and I’d never had someone give me permission like that, but then, when that was over… He wanted us to go out and play a joke on one of his friends. All I had to do was call the guy out the car. I didn’t want to, but he said if I didn’t, he’d tell the world.”
She looked up at me, her eyes wild. “You can’t tell anyone. No one! Danika, you have to promise! You don’t know what they’ll do to me.”
“Take you away to a lab, vivisect you to figure out how your gills work?”
“What? No. They’ll force me to work for the government or they’ll cut out my tongue. I don’t even have gills.”
“I do.” I hesitated, not sure how to tell my secret. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m naked on the beach?”
“Oh, um, yeah. Why are you?” She obviously hadn’t noticed.
“Come to the water with me.” I walked out to where the waves came up on shore and sat down on the wet sand. A week ago, it would’ve taken twenty minutes, but now my legs were wet and I willed them to change.
Ashley gasped. “You’re one of the mermaids!”
“One?”
“Yeah. My dad says there used to be a huge pod around here. We’d go out on the water and try to find them. I always wanted to hear them sing. I never thought I’d meet them.” She put her hand over my tail, far down where my knee might be. “Can I?”
“Yeah, it’s not sharp there.”
Her fingers traced the scales for a second. “I never suspected.”
“Neither did I.”
“It’s hard keeping it buried all the time. For me, it’s music, constant music inside my head, like it’s begging me to sing along. It’s gotten worse as I get older. Sometimes I think it’ll drive me crazy, but then I can come out here, to this beach, and sing a little. Dolphins listen, maybe sea turtles, but I don’t have to worry about people.” She sighed and rested her head on her knees.
“I never knew there were people like me here,” I admitted.
“Really? Your mom didn’t tell you?”
“Maybe. I didn’t listen to her much. But then, she doesn’t like to talk about stuff either. I think it’s a mermaid thing.” I stared out at Mother Ocean, watching the moonlight reflect on the waves. “My reef i
s out there. It’s safe to swim here, no one’s ever seen me, and if I come up to the beach I can hear everyone partying.”
Ashley nodded. “I’m sorry if I treated you bad. I know I do that. I just can’t… I can’t help it. There’s the music in my head, driving me to sing, but I’m fighting it, and then I remember that if you knew who I really was you’d hate me and then…then I act that way.”
“I know, and I don’t hate you.” I gave her a quick hug, feeling a little awkward touching her without a top on.
“Yeah. Mermaid. Wow.” Ashley shook her head. “There are others, you know: selkies, hydra, and scylla. My dad says we used to all hang out together, like a giant family.”
“I’ve heard the same thing.”
“It’s too bad it’s over.” She sat next to me on the sand. “Thanks for…well, for talking. I feel a lot better.” She started to get up, to walk away. “I guess I’ll see you in—”
“Ashley, wait. Edgar, the guy that—I need to talk to you about him.”
“The guy that wants to date me?” She frowned at the idea. “No way, I want to forget the whole thing ever happened.”
“But you can’t. You have to confront him. Have to prove to yourself that he can’t hurt you anymore.”
She stopped, looked at me, then out at the ocean. She’d never really said what happened between them, but to use her gifts that way, for the first time to be something like that, it had to hurt. “I’ll think about it.” She turned around again.
“And the guy? The guy that he had you play the trick on?”
“Some old guy. Lewis Cogan.”
“You know him?”
“Only his name. I had to use it to sing him out. If you don’t use someone’s name, you get everyone, all at once.” She sounded upset still, hurt. “Thanks for everything, Danika, but I just want to be alone and not think about it.”
“If you decided you don’t want to be alone anymore, text me?”
“Sure.” She headed up the beach where her car was parked and I slipped into the waves. I kept repeating the name she’d said, Lewis Cogan. When I got home I Googled him and found out he was the town tax assessor. With the way Edgar had treated Ashley, I thought for sure he had something to do with the murders, that he was using her to lure another teenager, another victim. Now I wasn’t so sure that Edgar was involved at all.
Confused, I headed back to Mother Ocean. I slept on the sand of my reef, my belly full of meat from my kill, and I slept well.
Chapter Sixteen
I woke up with my arm healed and my head clear. Ashley was a siren. I turned the thought over in my mind as I swam to shore. I felt a kinship with her, and pity, too. She’d been manipulated into giving her secret away, into letting someone use her power.
Thinking of how evil Edgar had been to her made me think about how good Sam was to me. I called him as soon as I got into the house, and he was there by the time I got dressed.
“So, sea monsters,” Sam said as I opened the door. “Or do you want to talk about the funeral first?”
“I don’t want to talk about the funeral.” I stopped, wondering if that was true. “Okay, maybe I don’t want to, but I think I need to.”
“Okay.” Sam looked confused. I could understand why. It’d taken killing a shark for me to make sense of it all.
“I was upset about Ryan. I still am. But when I look at you, I stop feeling upset. I feel, well, all I want to do is make out. I know I should think that makes me a horrible person, and how can I be so upset about Ryan on Saturday and want to kiss you on Sunday, but…I don’t.”
“Maybe it’s part of being a mermaid, maybe it’s part of being human.” He put his arm around me for a second. “There’s no law that says you only get to feel one thing at time.”
“Good, because I don’t. I want you. I don’t want to worry about sea monsters or murders. But at the same time, I want to end this, to find the killer and make them stop.” I struggled to put all the different things I was feeling into words. “Two weeks ago the biggest problem in my life, my greatest fear was someone finding out about me. Now you know, and Ashley knows.”
“Ashley knows?”
“Yeah. And she doesn’t care. And I don’t think someone’s going to cart me away to a lab anymore. Or maybe they will, but I’m not scared about it. If it happens, I’ll deal with it. There’s so much more going on. It’s not about sex, or falling for you, or about friends, or dealing with death, it’s all of that, and more than just each one together.”
“Sounds rough.”
“Gee, thanks.” I punched him lightly on the shoulder.
“But um, are you falling for me?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” I leaned up against him, pushing his body into the wall. Through our clothes, I could feel heat coming off his skin. I kissed him once, wanting it to be chaste; but instead my tongue explored his mouth, eager for more. “So are we going to make out now or what?”
He pulled me even closer to him and held me tight to his body before he spoke again. “You’ve been through a lot. You didn’t even talk about the child you lost.”
“Right, yeah. That’s important, too.”
“Danika, I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty. I wanted you to know I understand how much you’ve had going on. And if being with me makes you feel better, that’s what I want.”
“Being with you makes me feel great.” I smiled at the memory of how good it felt to be with him. “I never dreamed there would be someone like you.”
Instead of replying he kissed me, his lips light on mine, his fingertips on my face. I moved closer to him, wanting the kiss to last. He changed it instead, opening his mouth to mine. I took the invitation and touched my tongue to his. Excitement coursed through me, and I knew I wouldn’t wait long to take him into the water, to touch him.
“Sam,” I whispered his name, my voice deep and seductive. I grabbed his hand and pulled him through the house, both of us laughing and smiling. Outside, my feet ran across cold sand into a gray sea. Morning sunlight, no boats on the water. Just the two of us. I couldn’t ask for a better time. “Swim with me.”
His answer was a kiss, a long deep kiss with his tongue against mine and his hand wrapped in my hair. He barely stopped to breathe, kissing me again and again, moving our bodies toward the water. Before long my tail wrapped around him, drawing us both into deeper water. Waves washed over us. I felt the water rush over my gills and for a few seconds our kisses became something more as I gave him the air from my mouth. He took it for a few breaths, but then tugged us above the water. “I can’t drown remember?” He smiled at me, then whispered in my ear. “You can slow down.”
“Why?” I pulled him under, not wanting to go slow, not wanting him to stop me. I was happy when he pressed the condom into my palm, even if I didn’t know quite what to do with it. Happier when I could stop worrying and go back to exploring him. Nothing else, just him, and the way it felt when he touched me.
When it was over our bodies sank to the ocean floor, resting on each other. We stayed close for a long time, watching the fish come and go. When he pointed to shore, I knew we needed to go in; but I left slowly, wishing we could stay wrapped in the arms of Mother Ocean a bit longer.
“So, sea monsters?” I prompted Sam. We relaxed on my bed, sunlight streaming in through my windows. I worried that Mom would show up, but that thought was easy to chase away as Sam licked the last bits of salt water from my skin. His tongue tickled and I kept wiggling away a little.
“Most of the myths are sea serpents. Think big snake.”
“I’ve seen the drawings.”
“And that’s pretty much all there is, drawings. No one’s seen a sea serpent for a really long time. Even among the oceanfolk.”
“Oceanfolk?”
“That’s what salt golems call, um, everyone.”
“Huh. I like it. Go on.”
“Among the oceanfolk, though, you’ve got lots of creatures that could be called sea monsters,
mermaids for instance.”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “Do I look monstrous to you?”
“I’m trying to be analytical about this. There are salt golems, selkies, pretty much any of the usual type of oceanfolk. But we can’t rule out the regular kind of sea monster like a large shark or giant squid.”
“Oh right!” I smacked my forehead in embarrassment. “There was a smell, like ammonia, and Heather’s hands were stained brown, like squid ink.”
“But giant squid aren’t normally found in these waters.”
“Could they live here? If someone brought one?”
“Sure, I guess.”
“So it could be a giant squid.”
“Except that means the killings would have to be random. Do they seem random to you?”
The four victims were each young, fairly attractive, and found in about the same place. That didn’t seem random to me. “No. I don’t know how Mara fits, but I know the other three knew each other. They were friends.”
“Dating?”
“No, actual friends. Their dads all worked together. Ryan’s dad is in construction. Heather’s dad is a real estate guy. Tiffany’s dad was on the city council. They would all hang out during meetings.”
“That’s sounds like a pretty big connection,” he agreed.
“The big project they worked on isn’t far from here. It’s a bunch of condos. You know the beach where we had my party?”
“That beach?” He looked shocked.
“Is there something I should know about that beach?”
“It’s special for salt golems. Not quite sacred but special, a place where we celebrate important things.”
“I met my grandparents near there.” I realized thinking out loud. “So the dolphin shifters might think it’s special too.”
“Your grandparents are dolphin shifters?”
“Yeah, it’s a long story, but the important thing is that there was a council of, well, oceanfolk, way back when. I wonder if the council had anything to do with that beach?”
The Mermaid and the Murders Page 18