by Belleza
“Me too,” I added. A fresh bowl of soapy water was switched out with the gel basin, and the tech began to work on my feet.
“So… what do y’all think the men are doing?”
“Who knows. They’re probably trying to figure out what to get for Valentine’s Day. Asahd is so last minute with everything,” Camille stated. “I told him I better have a good gift. I should be the one getting him something nice. Things haven’t been perfect between the both of us. It’s not bad, but it’s not perfect.”
“Perfect doesn’t exist,” Natavia reminded her.
She shrugged and lifted the glass that was filled with more wine. “It’s not, but nothing is going the way I will like it too. As y’all seen I’m trying to get back in the groove of working and being all about my family, but I have yet to find the balance. I’m always working. Even when I’m home there always something that has to be done, he understands so while I’m locked in the bedroom he’s with Asia. Some nights they end up falling asleep in the living room, or he’d be in her room on the floor with her.”
“Asahd is a great father,” I smiled. Knowing how Asahd went from the party guy to being so responsible and loving was something spectacular to witness.
“He is,” Camille agreed with a frown on her face even though she should’ve been rejoicing because that man had a few screws loose. “He has two great brothers that were fathers to look up to.”
“Give credit when it’s due chicken head,” Natavia joked nudging Camille making her crack a smile.
“Asahd is truly amazing. I owe him big time for his patience and understanding. The amount of time I put into work any other man would’ve stepped out on me.”
“I agree, but Asahd loves you, Mill,” I said right away and then shut my mouth because my defense was stupid. Zayne loved me, but another woman had his dick in her mouth. Shaking my head, I took another sip of my drink.
Today is going to be a good day.
“How have you been Keke?” Natavia asked after surveying my face.
“For the most part, I’m better. I try to think about more positive things so my mind won’t drift off. It’s hard. I wish someone said after having a baby my mind and body would get so out of wack.”
That was just a simple way of summing up my emotions. Postpartum was a different kind of crazy. Days I had no desire to get out of bed. When Zayla cried that motherly instinct didn’t kick in to go see what my baby needed. Zay’d would come inside of the room and give me a kiss or Za’naa would simply lay in the bed holding my hand. That’s when the guilt kicked in because I couldn’t give my children the love they deserved because I was trapped inside of my own head.
It wasn’t only the mother part that was difficult. I couldn’t love myself. Getting pregnant back to back I gained more weight than I intended. I lost my appetite besides the fact that I was craving sugar which didn’t make it any better. I was going through an emotional rollercoaster. When I knew Zayne and the kids were around, I will try my best to keep it together, but the moment I felt like I was alone, it all came out like a flood.
“They definitely make it seem like being a mother is a walk in the park. Babies are a beautiful blessing, but motherhood is beyond the cute, cuddly human you pop out,” Camille added. I was glad to hear I wasn’t the only one.
“Excuse me,” Natavia asked with a raised eyebrow. “There’s no way you’re talking like that with your one child. You know Johan, and I are too old to be making any more babies, so we’re living vicariously through y’all.”
“Zayla is only a few months and Zay’d is a little over one, my mind and body need a break,” I replied.
“I’m one and done,” Camille chimed causing Natavia and me to look at her as if she was crazy.
“You’re kidding right?” Natavia asked.
She shook her head. “I’m serious even though he brings it up from time to time. I gave him Asia, and she should be enough for now.”
“And how does Asahd feel?”
“He understands, I guess.”
I saw the look on Camille’s face and knew there was more to the story than what she was giving us. The three of us were close as hell, so if she didn’t say anything about it now I sure she would later. Here they were trying to make sure I was good when they were going through things themselves.
“Thank you guys for planning this date. I love y’all so much and missed yall,” I said to the both of them to lighten the mood.
“We love you too. Now can we continue to have fun and no sad shit?” Camille said with her face twisted up making me laugh. She was far from the quiet girl that I grew up with. Either Asahd was rubbing off on her, or it was them bad ass kids she was working with.
For the remainder of the evening, we got tipsy off wine and pampered until dinner was ready. I don’t know about them but the way I was feeling, I wanted nothing more than to go home to a house with no kids and my man. Time alone was long overdue.
***
From where I stood, I saw Zayne was seated in the living room with the TV on and a Dutch in his hand. With a grin on my face, I slipped my Uggs off of my feet while I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack.
When I got to the living room, Zayne sat up in the couch staring at me with his low glossy eyes. I’m sure this was a session he needed. Being around the kids all the time had him cut back on smoking.
I reached out for the blunt and he placed it in my hand. I took a little pull and coughed as I passed it back to him.
“How was ya night?” he asked me standing to his feet after putting it out.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I gazed into his eyes.
He was so handsome. The way he gazed at me made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Finally, I felt a little confidence.
I missed this. I missed him.
As if he was reading my mind when he covered my lips with his, I hungrily kissed him back.
“I miss you,” I whispered as he broke away and stared into my eyes.
He didn’t say anything. Instead he let his actions do the talking and pressed his lips against mine again slipping his tongue into my mouth this time. I sucked and kissed Zayne back with so much intensity I was on the verge of an orgasm just from kissing. Time went by fast as we both hungrily stripped each other naked.
Breaking away from my lips, he dropped to his knees where he dove in face first into my box draping one of my legs on his shoulder.
“Oh my God! Don’t stop, Zayne,” I moaned wiggling my lower body as he massaged my center with his tongue.
With a slow steady rhythm he kissed my other set of lips grazing my clit with each lick. He made a light slurping noise as he inserted two fingers into my wet cave and circled them in me. His tongue was stiff, flicking across my clit.
“Ahhhhh!” I called out as my body quivered.
I curled my toes feeling the spark rise from the tip of my toes and shoot to the top of my head. My body began to tremble and I grabbed his hands trying to get out of his grip. It motivated him more knowing I was going to cum and worked his fingers and tongue quicker until I released. He pulled his fingers out and lapped up all my juices like I was his last meal.
Standing from a kneeled position, he moved me to the couch where bent me over. I bit into my lip as he pushed his bulbous tip into me. Pain temporarily shot through me.
It’s been a while since I felt my man and this time certainly felt like the first time. The shit he was working with shouldn’t be used for sex.
I shut my eyes and grabbed my breast in my hands. Every time he pushed into me he slid back out to push himself back in again helping to get me adjusted to the monster he was trying to push in me.
A few strokes in and I was throwing my ass back.
“Damn! I miss this you!” I whimpered.
WHAP!
“Show daddy how much you miss this dick.”
I clench my walls and began to twerk on his dick. The pain was gone and I was finally riding th
is wave.
“Oh shit,” he grunted pulling away and making small circular motions in my pussy. “You gonna fuck around and make me cum, yo.” He dug his fingers into my waist pounding me now from behind. “I love you Keira…”He stroked me long, slow and hard nestling his face in the crook of my neck.
My body trembled nearing another release.
“Go head, cum on this dick Ke,” He whispered into my ear as he nibbled on it. The warmth of his breath tickling my ear took me to my peak and I did what he gave me permission to do. I came so hard my body was numb still high off our love making. I was spent and he was still hard inside of me moving. I should’ve knew he wasn’t done. He always made sure I got mine a few times before he got his.
When he released right behind me we collapsed on the couch and he held me to him with my back to his chest placing kisses on my shoulder.
In that moment, with his arms wrapped around me as we both struggled to catch our breath it felt like everything was back to normal.
***
“I know this is supposed to be a break, but I want to go see the kids.”
I felt Zayne’s eyes on me as he ran his fingers through my hair. I looked up meeting his gaze waiting for him to respond.
Even though I haven’t been as active as I should’ve been, I missed my babies and was dying to kiss all over them. Sadness didn’t consume my mind, so I wanted to take advantage of the happiness I did have and spread the joy.
“We can. Ma misses you anyway,” Zayne told me.
“Text Shirley and let her know we’re coming over.”
Lifting my head, I saw it was going on ten in the morning. It was a bit early to be doing a visit, but I couldn’t resist.
The moment I got out of bed, it felt like I was going to topple over from how weak my legs were along with the throbbing pain between them. As uncomfortable as it was it brought a smile to my face thinking about the night we had. It was long overdue and the way I felt reminded me that my husband had a part of him that took my mind and body to another level.
Zayne noticed me trying to fake the funk and began to crack up as I attempted to walk normally to the bathroom.
“I’m glad you think it’s hilarious,” I said from our adjoining bathroom.
As I took my toothbrush out of the holder, I heard him making his way to the bathroom. Standing behind me, he watched me through the mirror intently as I got my morning hygiene together.
Bending over, I pushed against him to spit out the wad of foamy spit in my mouth, and he gripped my hips.
“You think we can get a quickie in before we go?” he mumbled pressing his lips at the back of my ear sending a wave of sensations through my body.
This feeling was too good. The way I was feeling these past couple days it was difficult to believe I was in a dark place for months.
“Ain’t no such thing as a quickie with you,” I reminded him staring through the mirror. A slick ass grin spread across his face before it grew into a breathtaking smile showing off his bright white teeth. “You ain’t low,” I told him with a narrow gaze.
“It was worth a shot.” Zayne kissed me on my cheek and began to brush his teeth while I went to get the shower ready.
After we got clean and dressed, we made our way to Shirley and Ern’s house. I was so eager to spend time with the kids. The closer we got, the more I bubbled over with excitement.
As soon as he got there, Zayne parked the car, and we got out walking hand in hand to the front door. He had a key to get in, so he unlocked the door, and the aroma of breakfast lingered in the air.
I followed the angelic voices of Za’naa and Zay’d to the kitchen where they were sitting watching Shirley whip up breakfast. Ern had feisty Zayla in his arms, and she was shockingly quiet as a mouse. Back at home, she was so fussy, I was terrified to deal with her.
“Mommy!” Za’naa called out to me with the biggest smile on her face. She hopped off the stool and ran into me giving me the biggest hug. Zayne noticed Zay’d was ready to hurt himself to get out of the high chair he was in, so he got him out, and my sweet baby boy skipped to my legs and reaching up his arms.
“I miss y’all so much,” I told them bending down to their level and covering their little faces with kisses.
Standing back up, I lifted Zay’d up in my arms and made my way to Shirley and Ern where they both happily embraced me.
They both became my parents in a sense, and I valued their love so much. Ern was strong, funny and family oriented which he instilled in Zayne and his brothers. The love he had for Shirley was spellbinding. Knowing that they were able to weather the storm that infidelity brought, it gave me hope that Zayne and I were able to pull through his situation.
Shirley was there for me every step of the way wiping my tears and reminded me not to let it break me. Cheating was bad, but there were other things that could ruin a relationship that Zayne and I didn’t have an issue with. It helped me weigh my options where I made the decision not give up on my family and accept his last name.
“It smells so good in here,” I stated feeling my stomach rumble.
“We helped mom-mom cook,” Za’naa boasted proudly. She pushed the plate of heart-shaped pancakes my way that had red and white sprinkles cooked into them.
I watched as Zayne showed love to each of our children kissing Za’naa It warmed me up inside to really watch him in action. It was amazing seeing how much he loved being a father of one and witnessing it multiply with the next two. Zay’d was so easy going that it made sense why Zayla was a baby you had to be hands-on with. Even with the obstacles she gave him he handled them well.
With Zay’d on his lap, and me next to Za’naa we all sat at the massive island eating the meal Shirley prepared. For it to be last moment, she went all out with pancakes, biscuits, sausage, bacon and cut fresh fruit.
“Are we expecting the entire family?” I asked staring at the food.
“Ma knows I’ma big man,” Asahd walked in holding his mini-me in his arms.
I playfully rolled my eyes. “Oh my gosh, why no one ain’t tell me you were here?! I would’ve kept my behind home.”
Asahd walked over mushing me in my head. I slapped him on his arm before I reached out for Asia.
“You know you miss me, sis.”
“Actually I don’t,” I shot back focusing my attention on Asia cute self.
“What you doing here?” Zayne questioned Asahd as he tried to sneak a piece of bacon, but Shirley caught him tapping him on his hand. Zay’d started to crack up.
“After leaving y’all niggas I came over here and ended up falling asleep with Asia.”
“You better take your ass home to your wife.”
“Ohhhhhh!” Zay’d and Asia both exclaimed with their little lips in a perfect O shape. There was no way you could get a curse word past them. They knew them so well I wouldn’t be surprised they cursed when the adults wasn’t around.
“Daddy, you're not supposed to be cursing,” Za’naa spat following up her brother.
“Sorry,” he apologized kissing her on her cheek.
While the guys gathered the kids, I helped Shirley transfer all the food to the dining room. It didn’t cross my mind that they had all the grandkids with them. The table was long enough to fit seventeen people. We all sat comfortably talking and joking around with each other.
If Johan, Natavia, and Camille were present, we would’ve been complete. The three of them probably were busy working.
I was happy being with my girls, but being around the whole family was a different feeling that had me forgetting I was ever down in the dumps. Zayne and Asahd loved their girls, Za’naa, Asia and Zayla, but the four older boys, Joey, Jared, Jace and Jeremy had their own place in their heart. It was cute to watch Zay’d wanting to keep up with them.
By the time we were all done, the kids went to the living room to play video games while the adults all helped clean up. I watched in awe as Ern snuck kisses while Shirley washed the dishes and he stayed gl
ued right by her side with his special drink in his hand. He didn’t lift a finger, but it was a different kind of intimacy to have someone by your side no matter what. Their smiles radiated their true love, and my mind drifted off to Zayne and me when we got older.
As soon as we got done cleaning up, I heard Zayla from the living room screaming from the top of her lungs.
Zayne and I exchanged looks, but I moved first to go check on her. To be so little she was so loud. Za’naa was trying her best to soothe her, but every time she tried to give her her pacifier Zayla would spit it right back out.
Scooping her up in my arms I took her to the guest bedroom that was on the floor. I breastfed Zayla a few times after having her, but it’s been a while. I was shocked to see how easy it was for her to latch and she calmed down instantly closing her eyes shut as she filled her belly.
Although it was uncomfortable at first, it was relaxing for the both of us. I took the time to admire my little princess. At first glance, you would never think she was the one causing chaos in the house.
Rocking her in my arms, I realized she was the spitting image of me. Her skin tone was a shade darker but from her eyes and her button nose that was my little mama.
A slight knock at the door broke me out of my gaze. The door cracked open, and Shirley peeked her head inside.
“May I come in?”
“Sure? Did Zayne tell you to come check on us?”
Shirley walked into the room and closed the door behind her. “No, he didn’t, missy. I wanted some alone time without them rowdy boys around,” she laughed taking a seat next to me on the bed.
Zayla must’ve felt someone else's presence and peeked her eye open before she shut it back causing Shirley to laugh.
“You know I thought Zayne was over exaggerating when he talked about her, but she is a little fussy thing. This is the calmest I’ve seen her.”
Stroking her hair, I smiled. “Yeah, she definitely turns up in the house.”
“I know you’re tired of people asking you how you’re feeling. I just wanted to stop in and tell you that you look good. I see the way you’ve been smiling and the small glances you and Zayne give each other. I’m glad y’all were able to pull through the rough patch.”