“What do we do?”
“I’ll ask around. I know a few people who might be able to tell us if he was taken to Dachau.” Ezekiel’s sigh deepened. “I’ll call you when I find out.”
“Please do,” Rebecca implored without realizing the intensity of the words falling from her lips or the outpour of emotion from her heart.
It brought some comfort knowing the Gestapo just last night did not know Eli’s whereabouts. It gave her a shred of hope that he somehow escaped their clutches. But it was also possible Eli got lost in the shuffle of victims and already sat in a concentration camp without the Gestapo realizing this yet. She needed to know for sure.
“Take care of yourself,” Ezekiel finished and hung up.
Click. The sound of the click on the other end pulled Rebecca back into a silent emptiness. Without Eli in the room with her, loneliness flooded in. Though she’d been alone throughout University, this loneliness felt more pronounced.
At the end of the week, Rebecca felt like she was going to die, as if her own heart would somehow stop in its rhythmic motion and her own lungs would collapse and leave her whimpering for air on the floor. Did she feel this way from being physically ill? Or, did the worry bombarding her mind do this? She didn’t know. Fighting depression, she kept busy at work and tried to keep her mind occupied at home.
Ezekiel called midweek to inform her that, as far as his friends knew, there was no sign of Eli at the Dachau camp. This gave them both relief, but still no Eli and they both dreaded the answer could be far worse than Dachau.
* * *
On Saturday evening, Eli made his way upstairs, checking over his shoulder to make sure he’d remained unseen. Easing his door open, he slipped inside. The smell of home wafted over him, orange scented soap and dinner. His bleary eyes scanned the room and focused on his beautiful wife standing at the stove, her back to him, pouring tea. Pushing the door closed behind him so that it clicked, he watched her whirl around at the noise.
Rebecca dropped the teacup in her hand, where it smashed on the floor. Her heart raced and her eyes widened. She ran to him and felt his face, his chin with stubble, and his dirty hands that had grown coarse over the past five days. His beige trench coat was torn and navy pants damp.
He held her soft porcelain face in his and then pulled her to him, grabbing her, pressing her against his chest, needing to feel her heartbeat and her breath on his ear.
“God, I’ve missed you,” Eli whispered after a moment.
“Where have you been?” Rebecca’s eyes welled with tears and her lips trembled.
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t safe. They were watching the apartment…my parents’ house…Aaron’s.” He held his arms out. “I need to get cleaned up.” Eli went into the bathroom, Rebecca following. He poured water over his hands and face. “Aaron and I had to stay hidden. They came to his house, too, looking for him.”
“Aaron was with you?” This news brought relief that Eli was not alone on the streets for five nights. Rebecca pulled off his trench coat and her soft hands brushed over his rough ones, his nails embedded with dirt.
He poured more water over his face and arms. “Yes.” Eli took a moment to answer before pulling off his torn shirt and shoes.
“What happened?”
Eli loosened his belt. “Aaron and I were picking up the documents for our families and the Gestapo pulled up to the building.” He took off his pants and jumped into the bath for a quick wash, his skin moist with dirt and his knees scuffed. He poured water over his hair and raked his fingers through it. Rebecca bent down to the bath and cupped her hands through the water, gathering some to drizzle over Eli’s soiled body. “We were locked in the closet to hide, but they took Mr. Reiner,” Eli explained in a tone of agony, “and his wife…I can still hear her crying while they beat her.” His strength shattered at the memory. Tears fell from his eyes over his cheeks, first one, then another, until they blinded him. He couldn’t stop them.
Rebecca leaned in and pulled his head to her chest, getting her summer dress soaked. “You’re ok now. You’re safe now.” Rebecca rocked him in her arms, leaning into the tub until his skin pruned and her dress was soaked from chest to waist.
Eli called his papa after his bath and Rebecca showed him the letter she hoped would bring relief to his face. But he knew as well as she did that this letter alone did not ensure anything. For the first time, Eli did not wear his façade in front of her, the face that told her everything would be alright, because he knew that she would not believe the lie anymore.
Saturday, July 22, 1933
Eli awoke to the sounds of heavy breathing. He rolled over to see Rebecca holding her chest as she lay sweating on top of the bed sheets, her head propped up on pillows and her silk white nightgown clinging to her damp body. The sounds of her struggling for air filled him with desperation. He threw himself over her and rested his head against her slowly rising chest.
“Rebecca! Are you alright?” Her blue pupils faded in and out as her lids closed and opened and the white of the eye consumed them. “Rebecca!”
“I feel weak,” she struggled to whisper and her eyes closed again.
“I’m taking you to the hospital.” He wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled her from the bed.
“No, it’s too dangerous.” She said each word slowly into his ear as she lay in his arms.
“I don’t care. You need help.” He set her down on the lounge chair in the bedroom as he heard her weakened voice whisper, Gestapo. “I’m getting you dressed.”
“The Gestapo,” she paused for breath to say it louder, “could see you.” Her sentence sounded broken in its stretched intonation.
“I’ll be careful.” Eli’s arms reached for a purple summer dress from the closet, revealing his defined muscles. Rebecca admired him with a light smile as she waited in the lounge chair for him to dress her. Her hair drooped around her face and her body appeared limp without much will of her own holding it there.
“Love you.” She mustered two more words in an inaudible sound. Eli kissed her chapped lips and then slipped the summer dress over her nightgown and took a washrag dipped in water from the bathroom and wiped her face. He pulled out his black slacks and a salmon colored shirt and added his beige trench coat. He took out his knit beige wool hat, a hat he never wore, and pulled it over his hair and part of his forehead.
He helped her off the chair and she walked with one arm over his shoulder, draped around his neck. He braced her up with both his arms, one behind and over her back and the other positioned upon her delicate waist. They walked together down the steps and to Rebecca’s car. Her vehicle was more reliable and inconspicuous. Eli’s broken windshield invited questioning eyes and, as the car grew older, the engine grew temperamental.
Eli pulled into the hospital parking lot and carried Rebecca over the steps into the waiting room like he was cradling a baby. The secretary behind the desk noticed Rebecca at once and, despite her disapproval of Rebecca’s choice in husbands, she grew alarmed at seeing her so despondent. She leapt out of her chair and rushed to Eli’s side whom, unknown to her, was in fact Rebecca’s husband. She rolled a wheelchair over to Eli to place Rebecca into and then wheeled her through the swinging doors.
Eli stayed close to Rebecca, following the secretary down the hallway into a patient’s room and then she realized Eli must be the rumored man by the way he clung to Rebecca’s side. She grimaced as she left the room, having to assist more patients in the waiting room. Rebecca sighed at the sight of the hospital bed, used to aid patients and now a patient herself. As Eli laid her in the bed, the doctor appeared at the door.
Rebecca gazed upward at his face and recognized him. A short smile crept over her and she closed her eyes to rest. Eli brushed his fingers through her hair and along her jaw line to her lips. He rested his head next to hers while the doctor entered the room.
His long white jacket swept against Eli’s arm and he lifted his head. The doctor inserted a therm
ometer into Rebecca’s mouth and she opened her eyes. He took the device out of her mouth moments later and took a step backward.
“How are you feeling?” he asked in a professional but concerned manner.
“I feel…exhausted. I…feel like…I can’t…breathe.” Rebecca spoke in short bursts and pulled her left hand up to her chest to hold her heart.
“Does this hurt?” The doctor pressed against her abdomen on one side and then the other. Rebecca grimaced both times. A nurse walked in with another instrument and wrapped it around Rebecca’s upper arm to measure her blood pressure. Eli stood and put his face into his hands against the wall. The doctor walked over to Eli and put his hand over his shoulder. “We’re going to have to run some tests. You may want to wait out front. It could be some time.”
“No! My place is with her. I’ll stay by her side.” Eli walked over to her, kissed her forehead and then sat in the chair in the corner. Rebecca’s eyes closed and she appeared to fall into a tranquil sleep. The doctor spoke in quiet with the nurse who rushed back with a tray of more medical tools. The doctor drew Rebecca’s blood and peered in her mouth, pried open with a wooden flat stick. Eli watched her without moving from the room or taking his eyes off of her, except to address the doctor and nurse.
The minutes became hours as Eli watched the woman he loved, the only woman he ever loved this much, lay in the hospital bed, losing her vibrancy to feebleness and confined instead of free. His heart ached.
Though the thought of both of them losing their chance to escape Germany by boat this month weighed heavily on him, he could not think of much else but Rebecca. She would be in no condition to travel and they would have to wait until September to depart, if at all this year.
In the late afternoon, the doctor returned to the room. Eli rose from his chair to hear the assessment of Rebecca’s declining health.
“I have good news,” the doctor announced and Eli sighed in relief. “She’s suffering from a combination of stress and a lack of nutrients, which is treatable. We have vitamins and an IV of glucose in her now. It should stabilize her. However she’ll need to rest all day and preferably all week.”
“When may I take her home?” Eli’s wrinkled forehead straightened.
“Tomorrow, after I’ve made sure she’s strong enough to travel.”
“Thank you so much, doctor.” Eli grabbed the doctor’s hand and shook it profusely.
“There is one more thing.” The doctor interjected midway between Eli finishing the shake and letting go of his hand. Eli’s eyes widened at the doctor’s words and he waited in silence for the doctor to finish his thought.
“Rebecca is pregnant,” the doctor said matter-of-factly and tried to conceal his elation for treating Rebecca. No matter what he felt for her, he wanted her well and happy. Eli rushed over to her side and held her hand which dangled over the edge of the bed.
“You’re having a baby,” he said in a mixture of disbelief and exuberance.
“I heard.” Rebecca spoke quietly under an elongated smile, revealing her teeth which she didn’t try to hide. Eli placed his hands over her belly and they stared at each other for a few moments, gathering their thoughts, assimilating this new unexpected information.
“We will get to America. We’ll start our family there.” Eli said it with such assurance and confidence, like he spoke in the courtroom, that he left no room for Rebecca to doubt its validity.
“But we missed our boat,” Rebecca sighed.
“There’s another in September, if you’re feeling up to it.”
“What about your family? They should leave this month. They shouldn’t wait on me.”
“I’ll talk to them later. But right now, I want to make sure you’re alright.”
“Has my passport arrived yet?” Rebecca tilted her head in Eli’s direction over the hospital pillow.
“Not yet,” he said with disappointment, knowing his own immigration papers were not yet completed either. “But it will. You are an American citizen through your mother.”
“Yes, my mutti.” Rebecca’s thoughts fixed on her mother and her eyes rolled to the ceiling as they became teary. “She doesn’t even know I’m here.” Eli shook his head no to her question. “She doesn’t even know I’m married.” Eli rubbed his hands over her dangling arm. “Will she even be a part of this child’s life?” Eli wrapped his hand around her own.
“I’ll talk to her for you if you want me too. I’ll let her know what’s happening.” Eli swept his fingers through her dark hair which, in this hospital light, concealed the honey hints.
She shook her head and answered, “No, I’ll talk to her myself when I’m feeling better. She should hear it from me.” Rebecca knew Eli speaking to her mother would only complicate matters. Seeing him while her daughter lay in a hospital bed, hearing the words of their marriage and her pregnancy and their soon departure from Eli’s lips instead of her own would only sever the already thin bond between them.
“Ok.” Eli kissed her lips. He stayed the night with Rebecca and the next day the doctor approved her for release, but insisted on her resting throughout the rest of the week. Eli wheeled Rebecca out of the hospital and to her car, lifted her in his arms, though she was more capable of walking this morning, and placed her in the passenger seat.
The new morning brought a new hope to each of their faces, easing their once worried expressions and festering anxieties, the kind of hope that crept into lives unexpectedly. Though the pregnancy meant Rebecca would be in a more delicate condition for traveling, they were both elated at the thought of starting a family.
The following day, Rebecca slept in while Eli drove to the Levin home to provide his family with the spurious documentation he had procured at a risk to his own life. Ezekiel took the papers from his son’s hand with a reluctant tug and then sat in the living room to talk with him.
Deborah came in with a bowl of fruit and tea for the both of them and placed it on the table in the middle of the room. Ezekiel ate a strawberry before speaking.
“Son, I’m very grateful for the risk you have taken for us, but I don’t want to leave without you and Rebecca. We can wait till she feels better.”
“No, Papa, I don’t want to be the cause of your delay. I need to know you and Mama and my sisters are safe. We’ll come after your ship. I promise. Rebecca needs her rest. The stress of the country has worn on her physically and she should recuperate before boarding for such a long journey.” Eli’s eyes brightened with delight, “Rebecca is pregnant.”
“What? When did this happen?” Ezekiel said, excited and yet taken aback.
“We just found out when she was at the hospital.”
“It looks like you’ll be starting your family early.” He grinned and then ended, “I would feel better knowing you both were with us.”
“We will be, Papa, just on a later boat. The visa is in the mail, but I can’t worry about Rebecca’s health aboard the ship. I have to wait till she feels well enough for travel. Please, tell me you’ll take the family and lift the worry of it from my mind.”
“Ok, ok,” Ezekiel conceded.
“The Hamburg American Steam Liner left on the second, but you can catch the ship again next month. Here’s the brochure.” Eli handed Ezekiel a grey pamphlet with a figure of an American woman in a long dress gracing the cover. “You ought to leave tonight to pick up the tickets. You can stay at a hotel in Hamburg and purchase them first thing tomorrow morning.”
“How much will the tickets cost?” Ezekiel’s left brow rose.
“About two hundred dollars each.”
“One thousand American dollars?” Ezekiel whistled in surprise and rubbed his forehead. “How long is the journey?”
“About ten days.” Eli stood and carried his cup of tea with him. “I have to get back to tend to Rebecca soon.”
“Yes, yes.” Ezekiel took his son’s face into his hands and kissed him on either cheek. “We’ll miss you.”
“I love you, Papa.” Eli
helped his father carry his overnight luggage into this car. He hugged his father and then Ezekiel started the engine and began his journey into Hamburg.
* * *
The following Friday on the fourteenth, the Nazis passed another law Germany would have to suffer, the Law for the Prevention of Genetically Diseased Offspring, initiated by the Interior Minister Wilhelm Frick. The law required the forced sterilization of German citizens with congenital disabilities such as feeblemindedness, schizophrenia, manic depression, epilepsy, and others. Doctors throughout the Reich performed the procedures on everyone fitting the descriptions. Following the sterilization law, the Denaturalization law stripped non German blood citizens of their citizenship. Jews were now no longer protected under the law with the little safety they received as German citizens.
Saturday morning after these new laws, Deseire came to visit Rebecca unannounced. Rebecca had rested the entirety of the week under doctor orders with meals provided by Eli and with readings of some of his favorite books of literature and poetry. The two lay arm in arm over the bed sheets when the knock at the door alarmed them.
Eli jumped off the bed and stood at a distance from the door.
The thought occurred to both of them that the Gestapo made a second trip for Eli’s arrest. The knock sounded again and Rebecca hurried to answer it. She buttoned the top three buttons of her white blouse and straightened out her sky blue shirt as she approached the door. Eli concealed himself in the shadows of the room. The door squeaked open.
“Mutti?” Rebecca said not really as a question, but more in disbelief.
“Yes, dear.” Deseire spoke in a polite, but clipped manner. Rebecca stood for a few moments gazing at Deseire. “Are you going to invite me in the room?”
“Yes, sorry, of course, Mother. Come in.” Rebecca pulled the door further open and took her mother’s caramel cashmere coat off her back as she entered. Eli hastened to the door with a sigh of relief and took the coat from Rebecca’s hands before placing it over the sofa.
The Day the Flowers Died Page 23