by J. E. Parker
Oh Jesus, I thought. I’m going to be a blabbering mess before this is over with.
“And it’s because of you, Hope Peterson, soon to be Hope Morgan, that I’m still here. You’re my rock, my anchor. You’re my saving grace.”
“Maddie, I—” Hope started.
“And that’s why,” Maddie interrupted, “Hendrix and I gave our second daughter your middle name.”
Silence.
Then, “What?” Hope asked around a sob. “You gave her my name?”
Smiling through her tears, Maddie gazed at her newest little girl with so much love and adoration that my heart nearly burst. “Yes. Her full name is Maci Elizabeth Cole.”
Oh. My. God!
“When I found out you were named after Charlotte it became even more fitting since I have a feeling she’s about to become my new step mom.”
Hope giggled as I turned and placed Maci in her arms. “Here you go, Aunt Hope.” I smiled. “Meet your new niece.”
“Thank you, M-Maddie,” Hope stuttered. “You have no idea what this m-means to m-me.”
“Don’t worry, I plan to hold it over your head for the next twenty years. When the teen years set in I figure I’ll cash in. But if you want to pay me back before then you can hurry up and plan your wedding. I’m kind of looking forward to that,” Maddie joked, her eyes sliding half closed from exhaustion. When her lids fluttered back open, her gaze landed on me. “Now, it’s your turn.”
Like Hope, I froze.
“You, Clara Rose,” Maddie started, “are one of the bravest, kindest, and most beautiful women I’ve ever met.” I didn’t move, I didn’t speak. Heck, I’m certain I didn’t breathe. “I know you blame yourself for what happened to me—”
“Maddie, please don’t—”
“No,” she said. “I won’t stop, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen.”
Wrapping my fingers around the top rail of her hospital bed, I nodded once. “I’ll listen.”
“Good,” she replied, placing her hand on top of mine. “I know you blame yourself, but it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for his actions, Clara. What he did, that wasn’t on you. It was on him, and him alone.”
“You’re wrong. If I hadn’t run, if I hadn’t—”
“If you hadn’t run, you’d be deader than a damn doornail,” Shelby interjected from behind me. I looked at her over my shoulder. Standing in the door with one of her shoulders leaned against the frame, she continued, “And sugar, if that had happened, your boys would either be in foster care or taking the beatings you could no longer shield them from… cause ya know, you’d be dead and all.”
My shoulders tensed at her words.
Neither of those things were options for my sons.
Not my boys.
Never my boys.
“Clara, look at my daughter,” Maddie demanded.
I turned my head and looked down at a sleeping Maci.
Gah, she’s beautiful.
“There’s something you’re not seeing, and I need you to see it.”
“If you hadn’t run, if Colin hadn’t followed you, if he hadn’t hurt me…” She paused as a tsunami of tears streamed down her face. “If none of that had happened Hendrix never would’ve found me again.”
My breath hitched.
“And without Hendrix, I wouldn’t have Melody”—another pause—“and now Maci.”
“But he hurt you, Maddie. He almost killed you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she retorted. “I would take that beating and a hundred more like it if the end result remained the same. And that end result? It wasn’t just getting Hendrix back and repairing every shattered piece of my heart. That was only half.”
Belly twisting into a thousand knots, I asked, “What is the other half?”
Maddie didn’t hesitate. “Colin’s death.” Her words hung in the air. “Clara, I love you and the boys with every ounce of my being. Even if I had the chance to go back and change things, I wouldn’t. Because the beating that Colin handed me, the one you blame yourself for, was the catalyst for his death. A death that was hand delivered by Evan. And with his death, Colin lost the ability to physically hurt you and the boys ever again. That,” she said with finality, “was worth every bit of fear and pain that I experienced.”
“It still doesn’t make it o-okay,” I said, my shoulders shaking.
“No, it doesn’t, but that is not your guilt to carry.”
“Maddie, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve—”
“I want you to say that you understand, and I want you to promise to let it go. I have watched you carry a burden that is not yours to carry for far too long, and I can’t do it anymore. I love you too much to let you keep hurting like this, not when the reason you’re hurting is the reason I was healed.” She took a shaky breath. “Please tell me you understand that.”
Something inside me snapped and another of my walls crumbled.
“I do… I really do.”
It was the truth.
For the first time since my wedding night, I understood completely.
All my life I’d felt like I’d been handed the short end of the stick. First by being thrown in the trash by my mother, then to being neglected throughout my years in foster care, and finally by marrying a sadistic asshole that hid his true nature from me until it was too late. But the truth was, I hadn’t been placed in those situations for no reason, because each one of them led to something bigger, something more important.
My pain, as harsh as it was, hadn’t been for no reason.
It served a bigger purpose; I served a bigger purpose.
And part of that purpose was right in front of me while the other part was sitting in the waiting room.
Leaning over Maddie’s hospital bed, I placed a soft kiss to her tear-stained cheek. “I love you, Mad. More than you’ll ever know.” Cupping her cheeks with my shaking hands, I looked her in the eyes. “Thank you for saving me, and for loving us even when you didn’t have too.”
I didn’t wait for Maddie to reply.
Standing straight, I turned to face Hope and ran a lone finger down Maci’s adorable button nose. “And you, my sweet Maci bug, were worth it…”
… And I would go through it all again just for you, I mentally added.
I closed my eyes, fighting back the emotion that stirred in my chest, threatening to overwhelm me. “Happy birthday, baby.”
I took a step back. My eyes met Hope’s. “Call me later. We’ve got wedding plans to discuss.” I winked. “Love you, Itty Bitty. To the moon and back.”
The smile that graced Hope’s face was a mile wide. “Love you too, Clara Bear.”
I turned and headed for the door.
Shelby and Hendrix, who carried a laughing Melody on his shoulders stood at the threshold, watching me. Eyes alight with happiness, Hendrix grinned from ear-to-ear and asked, “Leaving already?”
I nodded. “Yeah. The boys and Bella get out of school soon, and I thought y’all could use quiet time with Miss Maci.” I loved the way her name rolled off my tongue. It was such a pretty name. “She’s beautiful, Hendrix. You should be proud.”
“I am,” he replied, looking over my head toward his family. “Really proud.”
When Melody spotted Maddie, she squealed. “Ma-ma,” she hollered, extending her arms. “Da-da, Ma-ma.”
Hendrix lifted Melody off his shoulders and stood her on the ground. “Alright, Melly Belly let’s go see mommy and your new sister.” His voice cracked on the last word as he led Melody past me and to the bed where Maddie laid, holding Maci in her arms.
Hendrix lifted her onto the bed being extra careful not to let her climb on Maddie.
“Hey, sweet girl,” Maddie said, wrapping a single arm around Melody. “Come look.” Melody leaned over and looked at the sleeping bundle that her mama held. “This is Maci. She’s your little sister.”
Melody grinned and looked up at Maddie.
Then she l
ooked back at her daddy.
“Can you say Maci, baby?”
Melody leaned closer to Maci, seeming to inspect her.
When she said nothing, Hendrix asked, “What about sissy? Can you say that for Daddy?”
My heart skipped watching them interact for the first time as a family of four.
“Is-sy,” Melody said, touching the black hair peeking out from beneath the knitted cap that Maci wore. “Is-sy… My Is-sy.”
Hendrix looked like he was about to lose it. “Yeah, baby, that’s your sissy.”
I covered my mouth with my hand to hold back the sob working its way up my throat.
Hope did the same.
Beside me, Shelby turned to face the wall. I could tell by the way her shoulders jerked that she was crying her behind off. Nearing that point myself, I readied myself to head out the door. But I stopped short when Melody looked up, locking eyes with me.
I held my breath waiting to see what she would say or do.
I didn’t have to wait long…
“Buh-bye,” she said, blowing me a kiss.
“Bye, Melly Belly,” I said, blowing her one right back. “Love you, baby.”
As I glanced at the Cole family one last time, a single thought ran through my head.
That thought? They. Were. Worth. It.
Brantley
Clara was dancing in the car.
When we left the hospital, I took her straight to her apartment so she could change clothes and replace the panties I’d torn from her body—ones which I’d slipped in my pocket before leaving my office.
After that, we left to pick the kids up from school.
Soon as we pulled out of her apartment complex, she lowered her window, let her wavy red hair down, cranked up the radio and danced to whatever song came through the speakers.
I don’t know what happened when she and Hope went in to see Maddie, but she came out different. While she was still the same beautiful woman that I was falling head over ass in love with, she stood a little taller, walked a little more confidently. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she looked… freer. It was as if the weight she carried around on her shoulders had been lifted.
I fucking loved it.
“Who are we picking up first?” she asked, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I’m so dang excited to tell all three kids about Maci. Bella is going to flip.”
“Do you want to tell her and the boys at the same time?”
“Probably a good idea. You know they’ll want to see her and Maddie both. I think it’s best if we wait until after they leave the hospital though. Maddie was so tired.” She paused. “Besides, I know her and Hendrix will want to spend some time together with both girls before everyone descends on them.”
I opened my mouth to say something but stopped when Clara’s face fell the slightest bit. “Speaking of the hospital,” she said, “that guy that showed up there? Tommy?”
Rage—instant and red hot—shot through my chest.
I’d been seconds away from losing it and beating him to a pulp.
The only reason I didn’t was because of Clara.
I wasn’t a bad guy, and she knew that, but I wouldn‘t give her any reason to see me as someone who hurt others. Having said that, if the fucker had made a move toward her, that would’ve been a different story. If she or the boys were ever threatened then all bets were off, and simply put, someone would die.
“Thank you,” she continued, “for stepping in front of me. I was ready to intervene to get Carissa away from him, but when Kyle told everybody what he’d done to those three girls, I froze.”
It felt like a snake was wrapped around my throat, constricting my voice.
I couldn’t talk, could hardly breathe.
“Hearing what he’d done, what he’d gotten away with… It brought up bad memories, and usually those memories would make me spiral, but today they didn’t.” Turning her head, she looked over at me. “And it’s all because of you.”
“Baby, I—”
“You made me feel safe… And it’s not the first time either.”
I swallowed around the tightness clogging my throat. “When?” I glanced over at her in time to see confusion flit across her face. “Other than today, when did I make you feel safe?”
I wanted to know so I could keep doing it.
“That night you stayed at my apartment…” Her voice trailed off; her eyes slid shut. “When you woke me up from that nightmare, and then held me in your arms—Brantley, that’s the safest I’ve ever felt.”
Needing to touch her, I reached over and took her hand in mine. “That’s good, baby, because I plan on holding you in my arms every chance I get.”
Clara dipped her head and picked at the hem of her dress. “You’re determined to make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?”
“It’s only fair considering I’ve been falling in love with you ever since I saw you dance with Bella at Shelby’s wedding reception.”
“I love her,” she replied, her voice a mere whisper. “I know she isn’t mine, but I love her as if she were. I don’t know how it happened”—she paused and took a breath—“but she stole my heart the moment I met her.”
Pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes, she took another breath.
“Bella’s school is right up the road, isn’t it?”
I nodded, accepting the change in conversation. “Yeah, baby, it is.” I grabbed the car rider tag I’d been mailed when I registered Bella a month earlier from the middle console and hung it on the rear-view mirror. Pointing at it, I continued, “I’ve got an extra one of these at home to give you. When you pick her up, it has to be visible or the teachers make you park and go inside the office to show ID.”
She nodded. “It’s the same at the boy’s school.” Leaning forward, she dug through her small purse and pulled out a similar tag and handed it to me. “Evan already has one of these in case he needs to pick the boys up, but I need to get one for you.”
Stopped at a traffic light, my fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Does that mean you trust me with the boys?”
“I do.” Tapping her fingers against her thighs in time with the beat filling my SUV, she continued. “You’re a good guy, Brantley, but you’re an even better dad”—she turned her head—“I don’t trust people easily with my little guys, but I know they’ll be in good hands with you.”
“They will,” I replied honestly.
She nodded once. “I know.”
Looking back out the windshield, she raised her arms in the air. My gaze stayed focused on her as she moved in the seat, swaying her body in time with whatever the hell song was playing.
Watching her was mesmerizing. Intoxicating.
I could’ve done it for hours, but I didn’t have that kind of time.
A horn honked from behind me, drawing my attention back to the light.
It was green.
Pulling my eyes from Clara, I stepped on the gas, made a left, and pulled into Bella’s school parking lot. The car rider line was long, but it moved with efficiency and before long we were nearing the pick-up zone.
I stopped next to a teacher who held a two-way radio in her hand. She smiled at Clara and I both. “Good afternoon, Mr. Morgan,” she said, looking at the tag I’d hung minutes earlier. “I’m Mrs. Shook, Isabella’s art teacher. I’m sorry I missed you this morning, but I wanted to tell you that Isabella had an amazing day. She was nervous at first, but she got the hang of things quickly.”
Pride filled my chest. “Thanks for letting me know about her first day.”
The teacher nodded.
I pointed over at Clara. “This is Clara O’Bannon, she’ll be picking Bella up in the afternoons from here on out.” I hated saying her last name. It was a reminder of the fact that she’d worn another man’s ring on her finger.
It should’ve been my ring…
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. O’Bannon,” Mrs. Shook replied, smiling.
Clara returned
the smile. “Likewise.”
Taking a step back, Mrs. Shook raised the radio to her lips. “Isabella Morgan to the pick-up lane,” she drawled, annunciating each word clearly. “Isabella Morgan to the pick-up lane, please.”
Traffic moved. “Have a good day, Mrs. Shook.”
“You too, Mr. Morgan.”
Pulling forward, I searched the sea of kids lined up along the sidewalk in front of school, but I didn’t see my princesa anywhere. “Do you see her?”
Clara shook her head. “No, I don’t… Wait… There she is!” She pointed toward the back of the line. “See her? She’s behind that tall boy wearing the red ball cap.” I did. “Ohmigod,” Clara squealed, making me do a double-take. “Look at how frickin’ cute she is! Did you pick that outfit out?”
More pride filled me. “I pick all her clothes out.”
Clara smacked my arm. “Good job, Daddy.”
I smiled as we pulled forward. Another teacher glanced at my tag and pointed to Bella. Bella stepped out of line, her eyes searching the line of cars for a familiar one. When she saw my SUV her face dropped.
“What the hell?” I asked, before I could stop myself.
She looked like she was about to cry.
When her head dipped forward, and her shoulders shook the slightest bit, I knew she was in fact, crying. “Why is she crying?”
Beside me, Clara unbuckled her seat belt and grasped the door handle. “Unlock it, Brantley,” she said, almost panicked. When I didn’t move fast enough, she barked, “She’s crying because she sees your car and not mine. She thinks I broke my promise.”
Realization dawned, and I tapped the unlock door button. “Sh—”
Before the lone expletive could roll off my tongue, Clara jumped out of the car and stepped onto the sidewalk. A teacher stepped in front of her, blocking her from going any further, but Clara wasn’t having it. Holding her hands up in a non-threatening way, she said something I couldn’t hear and stepped around the teacher. “Bella!”