award
And he’ll probably win
(If he’d just stop wetting on himself each and
everytime he
meets a Due-pontee)
LORD KNOWS HE TRIES
Why just the other day I heard him say NO
But he was only talking to the janitor and I believe
they
expect him to exercise some control over the
excretionary
facilities around here
(But it’s a start)
My only real criticism is that he eats his daily
nourishment at the “Y”
And I was taught that’s not proper to do in public
But he’s sharp, my but that boy is sharp
Why it took the overlords two generations to recognize
that negroes had moved to the East side of town (which is similar to
but not the same as the wrong side of the tracks)
And here he is making plans for future whites who
haven’t even
reclaimed the best land yet
“Don’t say nothing Black or colored or look unhappy”
I heard him tell his chief joints
And every bone bopped in place but quick
(He can really order some colored people around—
a sight to behold)
And does a basically good militant shuffle
when dancing is in order
I’d really like to see him party more but he swears
Asphalt is bad for his eye-talian shoes
And we all appreciate eye-tal
don’t we
I tried to talk to him once but he just told me
“Don’t be emotional”
And all the while he was shaking and crying
and raining blows on
poor black me
So I guess I’m wrong again
Just maybe I don’t know the coloure of my
truefriends
As Wilmington pointed out to me himself
But I’m still not going to anymore banquits
The last one they replaced jello with
jellied gas (a Due-pontee specialty; housewise)
And I couldn’t figure out what they were trying
to tell me
Wilmington said they were giving me guest treat-meants
But somehow I don’t feel welcome
So I’m going to pack my don-key (asswise) and split
before they start to do me favors too
Letter to a Bourgeois
Friend Whom Once I Loved
(And Maybe Still Do If Love Is Valid)
The whole point of writing you is pointless
and somewhere in the back of my mind I really do
accept that. But on the other hand the whole point
of points is pointless when it’s boiled all the way down
to the least common denominator. But I was never one
to deal with fractions when there are so many wholes
that cannot be dissected—at least these poor hands
lack both skill and tool and perhaps this poor heart
lacks even the inclination to try because emotion is in
and of itself a wasteful thing because it lacks the power
to fulfill itself. And power is to be sought.
I see, after talking with you I did see, that Johnson
sent his storm troopers into Detroit and that’s wrong
and the wrong is not what we have done but what
Johnson and all the johnsons before him have done
and it’s wrong that we hate but it’s even more wrong
to love when neither love nor hate have anything to do
with what must be done. And Rap does love and
maybe he won’t tomorrow or the next day and if
he does maybe it won’t be with me but if we must love
then I must love you and him and all other people.
Or I must not deal with love at all. And if we are not
to deal with love then we must not deal with emotion
because if not love then we deal with hate or fear
or anxiety or just anything but The Problem which is
what we must deal with if we are to get back to love
and hate and anxiety and all those foolish emotions.
Which is what we’re talking about. And you are angry
with me maybe because you think I’ll get hurt
(if indeed you care) or maybe because you think
you’ll get hurt but not at all because I hate
because you know I don’t hate and not because
I’m violent because you know I’m not violent
so perhaps you are not angry at all but just give
slightly a shade left of a good goddamn what the hell
happens to me and whether or not I want to share it
with you and the truth being that I should give
a bout face and act like an adult except that adulthood
has no room for me because adulthood implies another
adult to relate to and there are no adults
only children whose balloons are bursting spit
all over their faces and having never tasted spit
let alone eaten any shit or licked any ass
you think that liquid on your face is rain from Heaven
and maybe you hope if it rains hard enough
all the wrinkles will disappear and the fountain
of youth, having been presented to you by our friend
and neighbor, will be yours for-ever surrounded by
flashing lights on the outside instead of the terrible
hammer inside which beats the sweat or fans the cold
and sometimes buckles your knees. So we move to
needs which must be met and I confess with a smile
on my lips that my needs are far more important to me
than your needs are to me and even though your needs
mean something to me they are only important
insofar as your needs have a need to meet mine.
And your needs lack significance to me when your
need is to get away from me and my needs.
Which is why I’m currently going through a thing
which is the only accurate description of my emotional
goulash, as if you’ve never been lonely and basically
afraid but recognizing that fear is an invalid emotion
and so is loneliness but being afraid and lonely
nonetheless. I called you but you have a job.
Which is no longer inclusive of me or maybe I just
developed a bad case of paranoia which in the next
thousand years may be understood by all the people
everywhere who can understand how it feels to be
lonely and afraid when there is no place for emotion.
And that has to upset your world which I fully intend
to do even if I don’t like doing it because likes or
dislikes have nothing to do with what has to be done
—even to you with whom I’d dearly like to do nothing
at all. My, but you hurt.
I’m Not Lonely
i’m not lonely
sleeping all alone
you think i’m scared
but i’m a big girl
i don’t cry
or anything
i have a great big bed
to roll around
in and lots of space
and i don’t dream
bad dreams
like i used
to have that you
were leaving me
anymore
now that you’re gone
i don’t dream
and no matter
what you think
i’m not lonely
sleeping
all alone
Love Poem
(For Real)
&
nbsp; it’s so hard to love
people
who will die soon
the sixties have been one
long funeral day
the flag flew at half-mast
so frequently
seeing it up
i wondered what was wrong
it will go back
to half
on inauguration day
(though during the johnson love
in the pole
was cut
the mourning wasn’t
official)
the Jews are seeking
sympathy
cause there isn’t one Jew
(and few circumcised women)
in the cabinet
old mother no dick plans
to keep it
bare
it’s impossible to love
a Jew
united quakers and crackers
for death, inc.
are back in the driver’s seat
it hertz
and i pledge allegiance
to the removal of all
pain
it’s masochistic
(derived from colored
meaning sick to kiss massa)
to love honkies
riderless horses
backward boots
the eternal flame of the flammable
Black Man
who does not plan to screw
honkies to death
it’s so easy to love
Black Men
they must not die anymore
and we must not die
with america
their day of mourning
is our first international
holiday
it’s a question of power
which we must wield
if it is not
to be wielded
against
us
For an Intellectual Audience
i’m a happy moile
the opposite of which
is an unhappy
womblie
and the only way you’ll ever
understand
this poem
is if you sit
on your ear
three times a day
facing south
justa whistling
dixie
while nikki picks
her nose
if you miss nose
picking time
then you must collect
three and one half milograms
of toe jam
and give it to barbara’s cat
and if you can’t find
barbara’s cat
then how you gonna call
yourself
a black man?
Black Power
(For All the Beautiful Black Panthers East)
But the whole thing is a miracle—See?
We were just standing there
talking—not touching or smoking
Pot
When this cop told
Tyrone
Move along buddy—take your whores
outa here
And this tremendous growl
From out of nowhere
Pounced on him
Nobody to this very day
Can explain
How it happened
And none of the zoos or circuses
Within fifty miles
Had reported
A panther
Missing
Seduction
one day
you gonna walk in this house
and i’m gonna have on a long African
gown
you’ll sit down and say “The Black…”
and i’m gonna take one arm out
then you—not noticing me at all—will say “What about
this brother…”
and i’m going to be slipping it over my head
and you’ll rap on about “The revolution…”
while i rest your hand against my stomach
you’ll go on—as you always do—saying
“I just can’t dig…”
while i’m moving your hand up and down
and i’ll be taking your dashiki off
then you’ll say “What we really need…”
and i’ll be licking your arm
and “The way I see it we ought to…”
and unbuckling your pants
“And what about the situation…”
and taking your shorts off
then you’ll notice
your state of undress
and knowing you you’ll just say
“Nikki,
isn’t this counterrevolutionary…?”
Word Poem
(Perhaps Worth Considering)
as things be / come
let’s destroy
then we can destroy
what we be / come
let’s build
what we become
when we dream
Black Judgement
1968
The Dance Committee
(Concerning Jean-Léon Destiné)
I am the token negro
I sit in the colored section with Fanon in hand
(to demonstrate my militancy)
and a very dry martini
(ingredients: yellow grass and a green faggot
over lightly)
while circumcised flies buzz brassy smells over my head
The women (obviously my superiors)
White sharp lines
and light-blue mascara
reaching all the way down beyond the red neck
crossing the middle age spread
form a double V (at home and the office)
spinning spidery daydreams of cloth
once covering and once removed
dripping babies
I asked why
the group wouldn’t be in the Black community
(it was Black French—which I should point out
has nothing to do with sex)
And was told quite soundlee
that just because they’re colored don’t
mean they’re not artists too
THEY’RE ARTISTS TOO AND COLOR
AIN’T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT
AND WHY OH WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE
LET US FORGET YOU’RE COLORED TOO
Token Negroes
I do believe, at least I was told,
and it is very important
for future exchanges
And again I must point out sex is not the issue
that we should simply fuck
tokenism
Of Liberation
Dykes of the world are united
Faggots got their thing together
(Everyone is organized)
Black people these are facts
Where’s your power
Honkies rule the world
Where’s your power Black people
(There are those who say it’s found in the root of all evil)
You are money
You seek property
Own yourself
3/5 of a man
100% whore
Chattel property
All of us
The most vital commodity in america
Is Black people
Ask any circumcised honkie
There are relevant points to be considered, Black People
Honkies tell niggers don’t burn
“violence begets you nothing my fellow americans”
But they insist on straightened hair
They insist on bleaching creams
It is only natural that we would escalate
It has been pointed out:
“If we can’t out fight them, we can’t out vote them”
These are relevant points to consider
If 10% honkies can run south africa
then
10% Black people (which has
nothing to do with negroes)
can run america
These are facts
Deal with them
It has been pointed out:
“The last bastion of white supremacy
is in the Black man’s mind”
(Note—this is not a criticism of brothers)
Everything comes in steps
Negative step one: get the white out of your hair
Negative step two: get the white out of your mind
Negative step three: get the white out of your parties
Negative step four: get the white out of your meetings
BLACK STEP ONE:
Get the feeling out (this may be painful—endure)
BLACK STEP TWO:
Outline and implement the program
All honkies and some negroes will have to die
This is unfortunate but necessary
Black law must be implemented
The Black Liberation Front must take responsibility
For Black people
If the choice is between the able and the faithful
The faithful must be chosen
Blackness is its own qualifier
Blackness is its own standard
There are no able negroes
White degrees do not qualify negroes to run
The Black Revolution
The Black Liberation Front must set the standards
These are international rules
Acquaint yourself with the Chinese, The Vietnamese,
The Cubans
And other Black Revolutions
We have tried far too long to ally with whites
Remember the rule of thumb:
WILD ANIMALS CAN BE TRAINED
BUT NEVER TAMED
The honkie is this category
Like any beast he can be trained with varying degrees
of excellence to
1) eat from a table
2) wash his hands
3) drive an automobile or bicycle
The Collected Poetry of Nikki Giovanni Page 5