His gaze turned curious as he twisted sideways to look at me. “But you are my age and you aren’t chasing me around the resort batting your eyes and touching me every chance you get.”
“Is that what happens when girls come here to stay?”
Raymond gave a sheepish grin. “Pretty much.” He dropped his gaze to the ground and sighed. “I just wish it wasn’t a competition for my attention. Why can’t they just take it as it comes instead of trying to force the issue?”
“Guys do that to gorgeous girls too, you know.”
Raymond stuffed his hands in the pockets of his shorts and shrugged as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. “Maybe so. But I can tell you, I don’t go strutting before a girl just because she’s pretty and vie for her attention by becoming a pest.”
I laughed at his grim voice. “You know, Raymond, most guys wouldn’t complain. Besides, you don’t have to strut, remember?”
Raymond smiled and then glanced at me curiously. “You aren’t interested in that way are you?”
I looked away, my enjoyment at his discomfort gone. “I don’t know if I will be attracted to anyone ever again.”
“I hope I meet someone like that. Someone I love so much that no one else matters.”
“When you really love someone, you can admire other people if you think they are attractive but that’s as far as it goes. You don’t go further with the thought because you are happy with what you have. Though I don’t have Mike any more, I will never find anyone that can compare to him.”
“That’s going to make for a long lonely life isn’t it?”
I sighed at that. It was lonely. I couldn’t argue with that one. “I suppose.”
Raymond touched my arm for a brief moment. “I’m sorry you lost your husband. But I’m sorrier that you think you will never love again.”
“It’s nothing to be sorry about if I’m okay with it ... being alone.” But was I really okay with it? The future stretched long and quiet before me. “I have lots of friends.” Who was I trying to convince?
Raymond pushed away from the fountain. “Well, I’d like to believe we both will find someone someday. Me, a girl who doesn’t throw herself at me and then act insecure when other girls are around, and you … I hope you find someone who doesn’t compare to Mike but who makes you happy anyway.” He smiled gently, gave my arm another quick squeeze and walked away.
He really was a nice boy. And that is how I thought of him. He was two years younger than me and I was calling him a boy. Sighing at myself, I went back to the cottage, grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and headed for the shoreline for a walk and some deep reflection.
I only made it a short distance from the little jutting peninsula when my plans changed and I sought out a large rock to sit upon. Kade’s painting had entered my thoughts and I wanted to take some time to study the area where Kade sketched the shadowed figures. Despite the peacefulness of the surroundings, I was having a hard time calming my busy thoughts because the conversation with Raymond kept entering my mind. Eventually, though, my mind calmed as I focused on the incoming tide and the rushing waves breaking against the rocks. Though I sat that way for quite some time, nothing came to me. No coldness. No cobwebs. Nothing.
“What are you staring at so intently?”
Kade’s voice startled me and I gave a small start when he spoke. It surprised me that I hadn’t felt his approach. Guess my internal sensors weren’t back to full function. “Just looking at that spot … like you did after you realized what you painted. You’re right, there’s nothing there remotely suggesting a couple bodies.” I made to stand and Kade grabbed my hand, pulled me up. He had nice hands. Long fingers, a wide palm, and a firm grip. Warm hands. Uncomfortable with my sudden fascination of his hands, I pulled free from his light grasp and started walking toward the peninsula. Kade fell into step beside me. We rounded the sharp bend and I stopped to survey the banking from this side. It rose about eight feet up to the grassy lawn above.
“Are you looking for anything in particular?”
I walked over to the banking where it consisted mostly of rocks and boulders rather than hardened earth. Was a passage hidden in there somewhere? Curious to find out, I pulled at a few of the rocks. “I thought I read somewhere that there was a hidden tunnel around here that led from the shore to the house.” I wouldn’t tell him I read that on my laptop after I finished writing it in a story I was working on.
“Really? Jack never said anything about it.” He too started moving rocks around.
We conducted our search in mutual silence. Of course we found nothing. Darn. “Oh well. It was just wishful thinking I guess.” I sank down on one of the flat boulders to rest and Kade sat beside me.
“We could ask Jack. He’s done a lot of research on the area.”
I shook my head. “He might not like us digging around his resort.”
Kade laughed at that. “I wasn’t suggesting we go buy shovels and have at it.” He looked away, watched a fishing boat pass by. “It was really nice talking with you last night, Tess. I hope I didn’t upset you with my anger.”
“No, Kade. You have every right to be upset about what happened.” I propped an elbow on my knee and rested my chin on my hand. “We really have a lot to deal with in life don’t we? So many bad things. So much death.”
“Life is tough. I used to tell that to the young kids coming in the military all the time. It’s especially tough when they come from home to war without much of a transition in between.”
“Did you join right out of high school?”
“Not after high school, no. I joined right after college. My father was in the Army and I had two uncles in the Air Force. It just seemed to be the natural thing to do.” He grinned at a memory. “My father was enlisted, a non-commissioned soldier. He told me to go to college, get a degree and go in commissioned. The pay was better; but the responsibility made us earn every penny.”
“Though it ended badly, have you ever regretted it?”
“Well, it was tough for me to have a relationship. I didn’t want to date a fellow service member and to be honest, I didn’t meet anyone that tempted me to break that rule.” He paused, tightened his mouth then reached for his pocket. “Damn.” He looked at me to explain. “I decided to try and quit the smoking thing. My lungs felt like crap this morning so I threw my cigarettes away.”
I gave a small grimace. “Though I commend your decision, good luck. The urge to smoke drives me a bit crazy from time to time. Like during my morning coffee. But, I’m getting through it.”
Kade folded his arms across his chest. “I’ve quit off and on through the years. It wasn’t until I got out of the hospital and Amy …” he stopped, shrugged. “Anyway, I took it up again and now it’s time to quit.”
I couldn’t not ask. “Who is Amy?”
Kade’s face tightened. I thought for a moment he wasn’t going to answer. “My ex-fiancé and now the owner of Dibs.”
“She took your dog from you?”
“Well, Dibs belonged to both of us. We got him when he was a pup. We went together to pick him out. She had him with her more than I did so I couldn’t really argue against her taking him.”
“She wasn’t in the military then?”
“No. I met Amy at the bank I was using. She manages it.” He rubbed the back of his neck then propped up a knee to support an arm. The other hand rested on the rock just slightly behind me. It brought us much closer than I was comfortable with but I forced myself to stay still. “We lived together for three years and then I was shipped off to Afghanistan. She started seeing a friend of mine, whom I asked to keep an eye out for her while I was away, and they got serious. When I came back wounded, she decided to wait until I was better before telling me it was over. Only she was pregnant by this time and couldn’t keep it secret for long.”
The bitterness in his voice made me flinch. My sympathy was all for him. “I’m sorry, Kade.” I touched his arm, gave him a comfor
ting squeeze. “You must have felt quite betrayed.”
“Yeah, well … better to know before we got legal. Right?”
“Was this a close friend?”
Kade quirked a brow. “Would a close friend do something like that?” He answered that himself. “Yeah, I guess they can. After all, if a fiancé can do it to the one they profess to love, I guess a friend sure as hell can do that to another friend.” He picked up a rock and threw it.
“It must have been a really bad time for you … dealing with the loss of your career, your physical injuries, the deaths of your comrades, the loss of your fiancé. I’m so sorry, Kade.”
“It’s been hell, Tess, but you know, I’m getting through it. Am almost over it for the most part. But sometimes, when I think about her, about how thoroughly she betrayed me, it pisses me off.”
“If you had married her, it would have been worse. You would have had more invested in the relationship.”
“Yes, I’m grateful for that much–that we didn’t marry, have kids. I would have hated that.” He paused, looked out at the water, and rubbed a hand over his face. When he turned to look at me, his eyes were dark with anger. “I’ve seen it a lot you know. The men and women deployed over there, fighting a war they didn’t start, putting up with sleep deprivation, miserable hot weather, the possibility of death, long demanding hours in full defense gear … and their spouses are back here cheating on them. It sickens me to think of it and how often it occurs.”
“It doesn’t seem to make sense but there’s got to be a reason–”
“Stop it with the reason-for-everything statement. It’s over used and it doesn’t help make it okay.” Kade gave a long sigh and covered my hand resting on the rock beside his leg. “I’m sorry, Tess. I’m not going to take my disgust with the terrible behavior of the human population out on you.” He squeezed my hand. “You’ve dealt with death as well and don’t need me unloading on you.”
I turned my hand and squeezed his back. “It’s okay, Kade. We are commiserating together.”
“Well now, don’t you two look cozy?”
Raymond’s voice startled us apart. He stood on the grassy area at the top of the bank, hands on hips grinning at us as if he was witnessing a big deal.
“Hey, Raymond.” I quickly stood and scrambled up the banking. Raymond gave me a hand up the last couple steps. Kade followed behind though he took a bit more time and I worried that the climb wasn’t good for his leg.
Once Kade made it up where Raymond and I waited, he clapped a hand on Raymond’s back. “Tess and I were commiserating about all the injustices of the world. Thanks for breaking it up. We really don’t need to make things more depressing than they are.” Kade met my eyes and winked. I smiled back, looked down at the ground.
“I heard your voices, thought I’d come look to see if someone was trying to sneak onto resort grounds. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Raymond shifted uncomfortably and looked like he was thinking hard how to escape our company.
I glanced at my watch; saw it was almost time for dinner. “It’s just as well. I’ve got to take a quick shower and change out of these clothes.”
“They made chowder for dinner tonight. Hank says its wicked good,” Raymond grinned because the locals liked to use the word “wicked” and he found that rather amusing.
Hank, I learned, ate in the kitchen with the cook and the other help that came in for the day, which was why I never saw him at dinner. “I’ve been looking forward to the seafood chowder ever since I saw it on the menu.” As if on cue, my stomach grumbled.
Raymond waved as he headed off toward the house. “I’ll see you at dinner then.”
Kade and I stood for a moment watching Raymond walk away and then I noticed Hank standing near the gazebo just off to our left. He nodded in acknowledgement when our eyes met and then turned and walked away.
“Hank has a peculiar accent,” I said.
Kade gave a soft short laugh and I tilted my head despite myself to enjoy the sound. “He talks just like the old fishermen over at the wharfs.” He put his hands on his hips, looked out at the water, thinking, then turned to look at me, regret in his eyes. “Sorry the conversation turned so negative again, Tess. You are going to start avoiding me if I keep that up.”
“No I won’t. I enjoy our talks, Kade. Even if the subject matter is rather depressing.” As soon as I said it, I realized how silly and inappropriate that sounded and pulled a face. Kade caught my eye and after a brief moment we both laughed.
Kade glanced at his cottage, I had the impression he was reluctant to say goodbye. “I suppose we should go in and clean up for dinner.” With a quick wave of his hand and a parting smile, he turned and walked away. He was limping slightly. I watched him until he disappeared into his cottage. Then with a disgusted shake of my head for staring and giving myself a mental scolding for doing so, I forced myself to start walking. This growing friendship with Kade needed to be kept in hand. I had to ensure it remained on a casual basis. No matter what.
As I dressed for dinner, a tingle of anticipation began to form in the region of my mid-drift like tiny butterflies and started moving up into my chest, quickening my breath. Recognizing its meaning, I quickly squelched it. I did not want to look forward to seeing Kade. I did not.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
For dinner that night we had two more guests join us. They were an older couple that I was guessing to be in their early seventies. Nancy introduced them as Jeanine and Thomas Arbuckle. They were here for a week and were staying in the Garden Cottage.
“Jeanine and I married over in Bar Harbor twenty years ago this month,” Thomas told us. “We come back to this area every year to celebrate.”
“Thomas and I have known each other for almost fifty years,” Jeanine further explained. “Our former spouses died of cancer.” She was a sweet little lady with pure white hair, which she kept in a short, permed style that seemed to be popular these days.
“We’ve always been curious about this place and last year while on a drive, we stopped in to check it out,” Thomas said.
Jeanine beamed a smile at Nancy. “Nancy was so sweet to us and showed us around and we told her we’d be back this year and here we are.”
I wondered if they knew about the ghost rumors. Modesta must have had the same thought in mind because she met my eyes and I could tell she was hoping the ghosts stayed quiet while the Arbuckles were here.
The Rosens started sharing their day’s adventures and that kept us entertained for a while as they both had a great sense of humor. Kade was quiet and Raymond seemed to be deep in thought over something. I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d experienced something today. He hadn’t been this quite earlier.
“We’re due for a thunderstorm tonight according to the forecast,” Jack told us when there was a lull in the conversation. “I’ll come by your cottages tonight and show you where the breaker box is if your power should go off. We have a generator here at the house but it doesn’t service your cottages.”
Apprehension flooded through me. I hated thunderstorms. The energy generated was a great conductor for the other side. Something in my expression must have given my feelings away because when I looked up and met Kade’s eyes, he held my gaze. I knew he was trying to read me and it surprised me that he was bothering to do so. Why should he care what I was thinking or feeling?
“You don’t like storms do you, Tess?” Kade asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention.
“Not really.”
“You can stay up here in the house if you like,” Nancy told me. “I can let you use one of the guest rooms. It won’t be a problem.”
“Oh, Nancy, that is so kind of you but I’ll be fine. I don’t like them but I’m not scared of them.” That was a tiny lie but I wasn’t going to act like a baby about this. “I’ll be fine.” I followed that statement with a prayer.
“I love the storms here. They are awesome,” Raymond said.
“The storms no good for us
right now,” Modesta added with a frown. She was worried and I wondered if something had happened here during a previous storm.
“Nonsense, Modesta,” Nancy said gently. “We could use the rain.”
Rain yes. Thunder and lightning? No. The rest of dinner went by without my focused attention. I was too busy saying prayers and asking the Tri-State to leave me alone. I was just getting back into all this. I needed time to adjust.
* * *
The bright flash of lightning woke me from a deep sleep and the low rumble of thunder that followed made me sit up in bed. It wasn’t raining yet, but it was coming. I got up and dressed into a pair of comfortable old jeans and a sweatshirt. If anything happened, I did not want to be in my sleepwear. I slipped my feet into a pair of sandals and went into the living room to check out the view from the sliding glass doors. I couldn’t see much as it was very dark, but I could hear the waves crashing forcefully against the shoreline. Another flash of lightning lit the sky and the rumble of thunder followed within seconds. The storm was getting close. As if on cue to that thought, the rain started. I lit a hurricane lamp in case we did lose power and wondered if I’d really be able to keep my cool during this storm. The tap on my sliding glass door startled me almost right out of my skin. I swung around and must confess that an image of a drowned young man desperate to communicate flashed in my mind. I was greatly relieved and then very curious when I saw that it was Kade and hastened to the door to open it, beckoning him to quickly come in out of the rain.
“Kade, what are you doing out in this weather?”
“I saw your light come on … figured you might like some company. The storm is going to be a bad one.” To lend weight to his words, the pelting rain turned to pounding sheets and a blinding flash of lightning was followed immediately by yet another. The booming thunder cracked loud and sharp before the lightning flashes even faded and it shook my tiny cottage. The blood drained from my face, I could feel it all go south. Why, oh why did thunderstorms have to be so violent and so loud?
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