by Lissa Manley
His daughter seemed to be blossoming into a happy kid before his eyes. Nothing pleased him more.
As he gathered the silverware, he admitted he had to hand it to Phoebe. Whatever she was doing during her time spent with Heidi was having a positive influence on his daughter, and if he could foster more good feelings in Heidi by hosting a pizza party with Phoebe, bring the pizza on. Boatloads of it if necessary.
He might be clueless about a lot of things, but even a slow study like himself saw the benefits of having a kind, giving woman like Phoebe involved in Heidi’s life.
Benefits for Heidi, sure thing. And what about for him? Worry rose at that reservation, but he batted it down, determined to stay on the peaceful path of least resistance, which, at the moment, was the best he could do given the drama Heidi had brought on lately.
He put the silverware on the table, resisting the strong urge to head out and greet Phoebe. Heidi could handle it.
He heard the front door open, and then Phoebe’s voice drifted to him, all soft and melodic. He stood for a moment, willing his heart rate to calm down. What was it about her that intrigued him so? Apart from the fact that she was a truly good person, which even on its own would probably qualify in his mind.
Whatever the case, his goal tonight was to have a casual dinner with Phoebe and Heidi along with a little light conversation and camaraderie, strictly to make Heidi happy. Mission noted.
Heidi came into the kitchen. Phoebe followed and gave him a little wave, lighting up the room with her smile and sparkling, bright blue eyes.
He kept his wits enough to notice she had on slender black jeans, flat little black shoes and a pale pink T-shirt and short black sweater that hugged her curves just right. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail with a few curly tendrils escaping around her face, and the style emphasized her high cheekbones and delicately curved jawline.
He resisted the urge to stare; she always looked great, but seeing her in the here and now, not dressed in practical ice cream parlor work clothes, gave new meaning in his mind to the word pretty.
Actually, the word was gorgeous.
Reminding himself of his that-would-be-that plan for the evening, he went into casual host mode. “Hey, there. Glad you could come.” And, suddenly, he was glad. Go figure.
“Hey to you, too,” she said, handing him a large, covered square dish.
“What’s this?”
“I brought some of my mom’s famous caramel brownies.”
“What? No ice cream?” he said with a wink.
Phoebe waved a hand in the air. “Nah. I don’t bring my work home.”
“Fair enough.” He looked at a beaming Heidi. “We love brownies, don’t we, sweetie?”
“Uh-huh. But we only ever make the kind that come from a box,” Heidi said, making a face.
“True,” he replied, his attention back on Phoebe. “I have to admit, I’m not much of a cook. I rely on Mrs. P. for cuisine.”
“Well, I’m sure she does a wonderful job,” Phoebe said. “If you remind me, I’ll write down the recipe so she can make them.”
“Thanks, that’d be great.” He set the brownies on the counter. “Mrs. P. loves trying new recipes.”
Phoebe craned her head to look at the oven. “The pizza smells fantastic.” She grinned in a teasing sort of way. “Homemade?”
“Take and bake,” Carson replied, trying not to let her cute smile disarm him too much. “It’s Heidi’s favorite, and the limit of my pizza cooking skills.”
Phoebe gave him a thumbs up. “Sounds perfect,” she said. “I love anything I don’t have to make.”
“I feel exactly the same way,” he replied.
The buzzer went off, and Carson took the Hawaiian pizza from the oven and set it on a hot pad on the table. Heidi took care of beverages while he grabbed the salad from the fridge. Within minutes he was seated at the round kitchen table flanked by Heidi on his left and Phoebe on his right.
A cozy family picture indeed. He started to sweat.
He served the pizza while everyone helped themselves to salad. To his surprise, the pizza had barely hit Heidi’s plate before she dug in with gusto usually reserved for competitive eaters.
“Hungry?” he asked her before he took a bite of his pizza, one brow hoisted high.
Her mouth full, Heidi nodded and said something that sounded vaguely like “starving,” but he couldn’t be sure.
“Well, even if you haven’t eaten in a year, you still have to have good manners,” he informed her in his helpful-yet-corrective parent voice. “We have a guest.”
In midchew, Heidi looked to Phoebe eating her slice of pizza in a very civilized way, no wolfing whatsoever involved. Obviously, Heidi wanted Phoebe to confirm that she agreed with him.
Carson turned and looked at Phoebe, too, interested to see how she’d react to being put on the spot.
Her eyes wide, Phoebe finished chewing, then put her pizza down, picked up her napkin from her lap and daintily wiped her mouth. “Um…what your dad said.”
And she passed the on-the-spot test with flying colors.
Heidi put her slice of pizza down and finished chewing. “Okay,” she said. “I get the message.”
“Thank you,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “So,” he went on to Phoebe. “Who’s minding the store?”
She took a sip of water. “Tanya and her daughter, who occasionally helps out when we need it. It’ll be busy, but Tanya’s been with me for quite a while, so I’m sure they’ll be fine.”
“Is she your only employee?”
“Yes. We handle the workload pretty well between the two of us.” Phoebe looked at Heidi. “By the way, speaking of Tanya, I have to pass on a compliment to you.”
Heidi blinked over her glass of orange juice, then put it down. “You do?”
Nodding, Phoebe said, “Yup. Tanya told me how well she thought you did yesterday at the cash register.” She put her napkin back on her lap. “She said you have great customer-service skills, and that you were an expert at counting out change.”
Fatherly pride spread through Carson.
A slow smile made its way across Heidi’s face. “She said that?”
Phoebe held up her hands. “I’m not making it up.”
“Wow,” Heidi said. “Cool.”
“It’s very cool,” Carson said, impressed by how Phoebe had made a point of passing along some kudos to Heidi; he had a feeling Phoebe’s praise was just the thing to lift Heidi’s spirits.
He reached out and squeezed Heidi’s hand. “I’m proud of you, honey.”
“You should be,” Phoebe added. “Working with the public isn’t always easy.”
Heidi nodded as she popped a stray piece of pineapple into her mouth. “Remember that old man who told me I gave him the wrong change when I didn’t?”
“What I remember was how you patiently recounted it for him while remaining polite,” Phoebe remarked. “You handled the situation just right.”
“Thanks.” Heidi beamed.
Her smile was the best thing Carson had seen in a long time.
He sat back in his chair for a moment while Phoebe and Heidi talked about some of the other customers they’d helped yesterday, including a brief discussion about a boy who’d come in who Heidi knew from school.
As they chattered away, he had to admit he liked the vibe happening here. He and Heidi had had a lot of silent dinners lately, just the two of them sitting across the table from each other, with little, it seemed, to say. Or maybe they’d had lots to say, and no idea how to say it. Either way, actually interacting during a meal was much better.
Amazingly, he had Phoebe to thank for that at this meal. She and Heidi really clicked, and in his mind, that connection was priceless, no matter how much it had scared him at first.
Well, still did scare him, actually. He’d have to do his best to manage those feelings in the future.
He helped himself to a second slice of pizza, his appetite good for the fir
st time in a long while, and was content to just listen to Phoebe and Heidi talk about girly stuff.
As the conversation went on, Carson’s chest tightened. Susan called only occasionally to talk to Heidi, and those conversations were understandably strained and, therefore, superficial. It was as if Susan’s grief had obliterated any mothering instincts she’d ever had.
He didn’t understand that reaction, but that didn’t stop him from seeing how Susan’s inability to connect with Heidi affected his daughter; Heidi obviously profoundly missed having another female to interact with. It helped having Lily, and now Phoebe, around.
It didn’t take a genius to realize that not having a mother figure in Heidi’s life had created a huge void that would be hard, if not impossible, for him to fill. And with Heidi growing up before his eyes—as had been highlighted by the boy conversation of a few minutes ago—well, having no mom around would only get harder for both him and Heidi.
He veered away from that troubling thought, not sure how to rectify that situation without going to a place he wasn’t ready to face.
But somehow he knew he’d have to gut up and deal with the situation head-on eventually. Time would march on.
What about his life?
Bothered by the course of his thoughts, he resolutely cleared his mind of anything except simply enjoying the evening spent with Phoebe and Heidi.
Relaxing a bit, he munched on his pizza and salad as the subject of nail polish was covered in-depth by the two ladies gracing the table on either side of him.
To his surprise, a couple of minutes later, Heidi rose, her plate in hand. “May I be excused?”
He dropped his chin, then looked at her plate. One lone crust—which he usually finished off—sat there. “Is that all you’re going to eat?” True, she’d eaten fast. But only one slice from a girl who regularly put away three? Hmm.
She shrugged. “I’m saving room for brownies.”
“Don’t you want to stick around with our guest?” he asked, gesturing with a tilt of his head to Phoebe.
“I have homework, remember?” Heidi said.
“I thought you finished it all this afternoon,” he said.
Heidi pushed her chair in. “Um…I did. I thought. But then I remembered some reading I…um, have to do for my book report.” She paused, chewing on her cheek, and then hastily added, “That’s due at the end of the week.”
He frowned. Something was fishy. Heidi was normally the kid leaving all of her homework until the very last minute; procrastination was her middle name. Maybe she was turning over a new leaf? One could only hope.
He’d go with that optimistic attitude because he had no other ideas. “Can’t you do it after Phoebe leaves?” he asked. “It seems a bit rude to take off right now.”
Heidi gave him a blank look, as if she hadn’t anticipated his reaction—or maybe she had and was acting puzzled—he couldn’t tell which. Before he could figure out what she was up to, she turned and pointedly looked at Phoebe. Kind of like…Phoebe was going to rescue her from some kind of conversational hazard…
What was that little nonverbal communication all about? Were they in cahoots about…what? And if so, why?
He tried to gather his muddled thoughts so he could voice his questions, but Phoebe cleared her throat first, beating him to the punch. “Er…I don’t mind,” she said with a wave of her hand. “Homework always comes first, right?”
How could he refute that statement when she was technically correct? “Right, right.” He looked at Heidi. “Go ahead, honey, and come back in a little while for dessert.”
“Okay,” Heidi said brightly as she scampered off. “See ya later.”
Carson watched her go, tapping his finger on the table, the wheels whirring around in his head. In his humble opinion, she looked much too happy to be leaving her new best friend Phoebe quite so eagerly. And right in the middle of a discussion about nail polish, no less. Weird.
Slowly, he moved his gaze to Phoebe, hoping for a clue as to what was going on. No surprise, really, that she was pointedly studying the half-eaten piece of pizza on her plate as if it were encrusted with rare jewels.
Not so suddenly, he had the unmistakable feeling that being left alone with Phoebe so that Miss Suddenly Not a Procrastinator could do some phantom homework had a very distinct purpose.
A niggling of dread skittered through him. He sensed a personal discussion coming on. That, or Heidi wanted him and Phoebe to have some romantic alone time and had somehow conned—or tricked—Phoebe into agreeing. Whatever the case, Heidi’s apparent scheming wasn’t a good sign.
“Care to tell me what’s up?” he asked Phoebe.
She gave him an awkward smile. “I’m not sure you want to know.”
The niggling turned into a full-fledged jab that had his brows slamming together and his stomach dropping to his toes. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was going on, either.
But what choice did his pragmatic self have but to hear Phoebe out?
Chapter Eleven
“If looks could speak, I’d say you’re not very happy to be having this conversation,” Phoebe said, going for honesty. What was the use in burying her head at this point? She needed to breathe eventually.
He shook his head. “You’d be right.”
“I don’t blame you, really.” She took a sip of water, letting her comment sink in for a second. “Heidi obviously has an agenda that you’re not aware of, and that has to be pretty confusing.”
“To say the least,” he commented dryly. “Care to fill me in?”
There was no way around bringing him into the loop. She fiddled with her fork. “Heidi rushed through her dinner on purpose.”
“No kidding. She ate so fast I’m surprised she didn’t choke and keel over from lack of oxygen,” he said, motioning to his throat.
Phoebe smiled at his attempt at levity. “Yes, well, I’m pretty sure she was hurrying so you and I would be alone.”
“Because?” he asked levelly. Too levelly, as if he were trying to keep rigid control, which, knowing him, he was.
Here went nothing. Or everything? Yikes. “Because she and I talked yesterday, and she asked me to talk to you about…some things.”
He sat back and drew his ankle up to rest on the opposite knee, striking a casual pose. Or…a trying to be casual pose? “Why don’t you just cut to the chase,” he said. “I can handle it.”
Taking him at his word, she nodded and continued on. “All right. Heidi and I talked about how I understood how sad she felt about her brother’s death because I felt the same way about my fiancé’s death.”
Carson visibly stilled. “Go on.”
“And…the conversation came around to how she didn’t think you understood how sad and angry she is.”
His face knotted. “Why would she think that?” he asked, his voice laced with incredulity.
“Because you never talk about those emotions?”
He stared at her, saying nothing, which said much more than any words possibly could; clearly, she’d hit him with something he didn’t want to acknowledge.
She forced herself to go on, wanting to get everything out on the table quickly, kind of like the need to rip a bandage off fast to minimize the trauma. “And because when you never talk about being sad or mad, it makes her feel as if you aren’t sad or mad at all.”
After a long pause, he cleared his throat and said, “I lost my son.” He blinked quickly, then looked down for a second. When he looked back up, his eyes glittered. “How could I not be sad?”
His reaction, while completely appropriate and expected, socked her in the gut. Struggling to breathe, she reached out and touched his hand briefly, wanting to show her support.
“Carson, I’m not saying you’re not sad. I know you are, truly I do, and I think deep down Heidi knows, too. What I’m saying is that it appears on the surface you aren’t sad because you’re doing a lot to cover it up.”
He jerked in his chin and opened h
is mouth, then quickly clamped it shut.
She went on, wanting everything out on the table. “Well, while we’re on tricky subjects, I should also tell you that Heidi has a lot of anger toward her mom.”
His jaw slack, Carson blinked.
“And she feels like her mom’s only thinking about herself rather than you and Heidi.”
He swiped a hand over his face. “Whoa.”
“Yeah, sorry for laying so much on you at once. But this is how your daughter is feeling, so I’m guessing she’s pretty overwhelmed about all of her emotions, too.”
He slumped back in his chair. “I feel terrible she hasn’t felt like she could talk to me about this stuff.”
“She told me she doesn’t want to make you sadder.”
“I’m not quite sure what to say to that.”
“Really?”
“You’re full of tough questions today, aren’t you?” he said, his jaw noticeably tight.
Was his query a delay tactic, to keep from having to open up? Or was he suspicious of her intentions? Or both?
She couldn’t do much about the former; Carson was Carson, and she was sure admitting to what she’d called him on wouldn’t be easy for him. But the latter? She could definitely do something about that, and it was time to set the record straight so he’d be sure of the motives behind the probing questions she was asking him.
She gave him her most sincere look. “I’m not asking to pry. I’m asking because I care about Heidi, and I promised her I’d talk to you about this. I’m not one to break a promise or make one I can’t keep.”
His jaw softened, and he looked right at her with those stunning coffee-colored eyes of his.
Her tummy tumbled, and she felt as if she’d suddenly been plunked on a very fast rollercoaster.
“I know,” he said. “And I appreciate the interest you’ve taken in my daughter.” He shook his head. “It’s just it’s never been easy for me to talk about my feelings.”
“I understand,” she said, hoping truthful commiseration would put him at ease a bit. “But I’m sure once you think about how your reluctance to talk affects Heidi, you’ll do the right thing.”