by Lissa Manley
She reached out and straightened the plastic knives and forks on the table and made sure the paper napkins were in a neat pile and placed just so.
She’d been beyond stunned when she’d walked into Carson’s house to her very own surprise birthday party, especially since her birthday wasn’t until Monday.
Despite her shock, she’d been pleased. It meant a lot to her that Carson and Heidi, with Lily and Molly along for the ride, had taken the time to plan this party for her. The group effort made her feel special. Cherished. Well thought of.
Those feelings, in turn, had softened her heart until if felt like a ball of goo clogging up her chest. But instead of wanting to run away from what was going on inside and shore up her defenses by forcing starch into her heart, she felt the urge to throw herself into Carson’s strong arms, kiss him silly and then drag Heidi into the cozy circle and beg to be part of this wonderful family.
She cast another surreptitious glance toward Carson and Grant, chewing on her lip. No doubt about it. She had a bad case of the love bug, times two. And, as usual, she didn’t quite know what to do about finding a cure for the illness.
“I’m getting the sense you kind of like him.”
Phoebe whipped her gaze around and saw Lily standing next to her, her brow raised in blatant speculation.
“Kind of? Ha!” Phoebe said without thinking. And, boy, oh, boy, Carson’s attractiveness was about so much more than just his fantastic good looks. He had the charm and emotional appeal to back up the Really Good Guy persona, no problem.
Lily blinked, then moved over and cut herself a piece of cake. “Wow. I didn’t expect such honesty.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been lying to myself for a while. Guess I’m getting tired of it.” She’d come a long way. Far enough, though, to jump off an emotional cliff and risk her heart? That was the million dollar, seemingly unanswerable, question. “I guess I really don’t know what’s going on.”
“I sense some…conflict,” Lily said after she took a bite of cake. “Care to talk?”
Phoebe sighed, then rubbed the bridge of her nose and resisted the impulse to straighten the plastic cups sitting next to the punch on the table. “Maybe I do need some advice.”
“Shoot.”
“Well…” Phoebe cast another baleful gaze at Carson. Her heart fluttered. “I think I might have a…thing for your cousin.”
Lily didn’t bat an eye. “And?”
“And…that scares me to death.”
“Why?” Lily asked, stabbing her fork in Phoebe’s direction.
Phoebe frowned. “You call this talking, giving me nothing but one-word questions?” She snorted. “How about some answers.”
Lily scraped a bit of frosting from her plate, then shrugged. “Sorry, but I don’t have any pat answers.”
“Yeah, me, neither,” Phoebe replied glumly.
“But I do have some questions.”
“Fire away.” Phoebe was desperate enough to open up any line of questioning. What was the saying? Only the strong survived? She was going to do her best to be bulletproof.
“Okay.” Lily set her plate down, then turned serious brown eyes to Phoebe. “Actually, I only have one question.”
Phoebe nodded as if to say, and what is it?
“Do you love Carson, and do you love Heidi?”
Phoebe froze, her insides shuddering under the heavy dose of reality Lily was heaping on her.
Lily held her hand out.
Shaking, Phoebe took it, as if Lily’s grasp was a lifeline on a fast-sinking ship.
“Because if the answer is yes, then in my book, if you want to be happy, you need to take a gamble and tell him, or risk losing a wonderful chance to find happiness with one of the best men you’re ever going to meet.”
“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Phoebe said. Looked as if she had her path laid out.
She only wished she had an idea whether her final destination was the magical town of Happily Ever After or the dismal city of Heartbreak, Part Two.
Chapter Fourteen
“So, what’s going on between you and my dad?”
Phoebe almost choked on the water she was sipping. She managed to swallow, then looked at Heidi standing by the small copier in Phoebe’s office. “Um…what do you mean?” she shoved out, stalling, because she knew exactly what Heidi meant but didn’t want to deal with the answer.
Heidi pushed the green Print button on the copier. “Well, do you guys like each other, or what?” The copier whirred into action, spitting out the bright yellow flyers touting their monthly ice cream special.
Tricky question. Two days had passed since Phoebe’s birthday party at the Winterses’, and though she and Carson hadn’t spent any time together alone, he had stopped by for a cone yesterday, which in itself would have been a rather innocuous occurrence. Though, she’d enjoyed indulging in giant cones with him and Heidi out on one of the wooden benches lining the boardwalk.
But when he’d stopped to talk to elderly Mrs. Lerman, who’d toddled into the parlor with her grandkids for sundaes, and offered to repair the window in her house that some raucous kids had vandalized the night before, Phoebe’s insides had gone ooey-gooey again, and her heart had melted faster than the cone in her hand. It was no overstatement to say that she’d totally understood the look of utter adoration Mrs. Lerman had nailed him with.
Times five. Hundred.
If that wasn’t an undeniable indication of her true feelings, she’d eat the box of straws on the counter and ask for another serving.
And now, here Heidi was, asking a loaded question, trying to pin Phoebe down.
Phoebe would like nothing more than to tell Heidi she was falling for her dad, and that Phoebe had decided last night after another heartfelt conversation with God that she was willing to go out on an emotional limb and tell Carson how she felt. Soon.
But that was between her and him, and it wouldn’t be right to fill Heidi in before she told Carson that she wanted to take their relationship to the next level. So rather than state the exact truth, instead she said, “Well, sure, I like your dad, honey. He’s very nice.” More than nice. Perfect, actually.
“But do you like him?” Heidi asked with a pointed look.
Hoo, boy. Nothing like a hopeful preteen trying to nail you down on romantic details. Phoebe was going to have to finesse her way through this conversation, for sure. “As in do I want to be his girlfriend?”
“Yeah,” Heidi said as she gathered the pile of flyers off the tray of the copier. “Like that.”
“Um…well, I’m not sure your dad is looking for a girlfriend.”
“Well, he should be,” Heidi said with twelve-year-old conviction. “Especially if it’d be you.”
“Why do you say that?” Phoebe asked, casually straightening some papers on her desk. Call her needy, but denying an itty-bitty ego stroke from Heidi wasn’t happening.
“’Cause you’re the best,” Heidi announced with a shrug of her shoulders, as if the answer was obvious. “And I think he really likes you.”
Phoebe’s tummy dropped. “What do you mean?” she asked, striving to keep her voice laid-back, even though her desire to hear about why Heidi thought Carson liked her was anything but casual. “Did he say something to you?”
“No, he didn’t say anything. But I can just tell by the way he looks at you that he likes you.”
“How’s that?” Phoebe asked, her voice high, realizing as she said the words that she sounded like a curious parrot.
“Oh, you know, how Prince Charming looked at Cinderella.” Heidi made a funny face. “All googly-eyed.”
Phoebe laughed, then let Heidi’s proclamation sink in. When it did, she couldn’t deny the giddy feelings darting through her.
One more reason Phoebe was even more sure of the path she’d set out last night after praying for guidance. Now she definitely had to go to the next stage of her relationship with Carson. She had to tell him how she felt. And she had to
answer Heidi.
Rising, she went over and took the flyers from her. “While I appreciate your observations, at the moment there is nothing going on between me and your dad.” But perhaps soon, there would be…
Heidi’s face fell. “Do you think something might happen…someday?”
Phoebe set the flyers down and made her expression soft and understanding. “I honestly can’t say, sweetie.” Although it sure would make things easier if she could flip to the end of the book and read the ending of the story of her and Carson.
“But there’s a chance, right?” Heidi asked, her voice rife with possibility.
Phoebe couldn’t lie. “Maybe.”
Heidi clapped her hands.
“But I’m not promising anything, all right?”
Her eyes glowing, Heidi said, “All right.”
Just then, the phone on Phoebe’s desk rang. She picked up the receiver. “I Scream for Ice Cream, Phoebe speaking. How may I help you.”
“Phoebe, it’s Carson.”
Her heart thudded at the sound of his voice. “Hey. Do you need to talk to Heidi?” She pointed to the phone and mouthed to Heidi, “It’s your dad.”
“No.” A significant pause. “Um…I had an accident while on a call at work, and I’m at the E.R.”
Emergency room? The bottom fell out of her stomach. Oh, no. Not again. She’d heard those ominous words before. “Okay…” she pushed out, struggling to stay calm when her gut was in an instant knot, keeping her response neutral for Heidi’s benefit.
“I was wondering if you could take care of Heidi for the afternoon,” he asked, his voice strained and clearly tinged with pain. “Mrs. P. had a doctor’s appointment, and I was supposed to go home early, but I’m not going to be able to leave here for a while.”
Phoebe’s instincts had her saying, “I’m coming down there.”
“No, I need you to take care of Heidi.”
Phoebe closed her eyes and bit her lip, imposing a poise into her voice that didn’t exist. “Can you fill me in?” she asked evenly, dreading his answer, yet having to ask for her own sanity.
A muffled voice sounded in the background. Another pause. “I have to go now,” he said gruffly. “The doctor’s back. Please just hang on to Heidi, tell her everything is going to be fine, and I’ll call as soon as I know more.”
Everything in Phoebe screamed for more information, to demand details to soothe her own fears; this situation held a heartrending echo of the past she’d never wanted to hear again.
“O-okay,” she replied, managing somehow to erase the stress from her voice for Carson’s sake. He needed her to be calm under fire, even though panic chomped at her composure like a shark demolishing its prey. “Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine.”
“Thanks,” he replied. “I’ll be in touch.” And then the line clicked dead.
Phoebe hung up, sending out silent prayer. God, I really need You now. Please take care of Carson.
Feeling slightly calmer from her prayer, she looked at Heidi.
“What did my dad want?” Heidi asked.
By sheer dint of will, Phoebe plastered an unruffled expression on her face, deciding on the fly that she could not lie to Heidi; she’d eventually find out the truth and would surely figure out that Phoebe had tried to sugarcoat or deny the situation.
“Um…he’s had a minor accident and had to get checked out at the hospital.”
Alarm blossomed on Heidi’s face.
Phoebe held up a hand. “He’s going to be fine, so don’t worry.” She forced a smile, trying to take her own advice and failing miserably. “And you get to spend the rest of the day with me.”
“What happened?” Heidi asked, wide-eyed.
“The doctor was there, and your dad couldn’t go into details,” Phoebe replied, amazed at how calm she sounded when worry was riding her so hard her heart felt as if it were going to explode. “He’ll call me when he has time.”
After a hesitation, Heidi said, “Maybe we should go to the hospital.”
Phoebe understood the response—she’d had the same reactionary instinct just moments ago—but the rational part of her told her that the last thing Heidi needed was to spend hours hanging around the E.R. Especially if something went wrong… .
Phoebe suppressed little squeak of half fear, half worry, and forced a calm demeanor worthy of an Oscar, if she did say so herself. “Nah, he said everything is going to be fine, and I think so, too. So why don’t we finish up those flyers, and then how about lunch as soon as Tanya gets here?”
Heidi nodded, her eyes reflecting the same panicky emotions churning through Phoebe. “I’m not very hungry,” she said, her words contradicting her nod.
“Yeah, me, neither.” Not with this rock of lumpy anxiety lodged painfully in her gut. “So how about we keep busy here, and I’m sure we’ll hear from your dad real soon.”
Heidi’s eyes glimmered. “Phoebe, I’m scared.”
Her eyes burning, Phoebe went over and hugged Heidi. “That’s natural,” she said. “But your dad’s tough, and if it were something really serious, he wouldn’t have been able to call me, correct?” Phoebe hung on to that thought with everything in her.
Heidi sucked in a shuddering breath.
“So hang tight. Don’t jump the gun and assume the worst, all right?” Phoebe said.
Nodding against her shoulder, Heidi replied, “Okay.”
Phoebe had said all the right things, soothed Heidi as best she could. Even so, she wished she could believe her own rationale. But the truth was, she didn’t. She knew from tragic experience that bad things happened to good people. That loved ones could be taken away in a heartbeat. And that dire phone calls could lead to heartbreak.
A hair-raising realization followed on the heels of those thoughts: What was she going to do if Carson wasn’t okay?
And how could she possibly take their relationship to the next level now that he’d proved himself to be just as likely as Justin had been to be put in harm’s way because of his job?
As dread sunk its talons into her, she decided that it was definitely time to go back to protecting her heart.
*
After an endless afternoon in the E.R., being subjected to pokes, prods and finally X-rays, Carson was beyond glad to be home.
Turns out he’d fractured his left ankle when he carelessly stepped in a pothole while helping two elderly men, Neil and Floyd, who’d backed their boat off a landing into Moonlight Cove Lake. Talk about a silly accident. Wait till the guys at the station got a load of what had happened. They’d never let him hear the end of how he’d been injured on such a routine call.
Shaking his head at his own stupidity, he threw open the door of Phoebe’s small car, then waited for her to come around and hand him the crutches she’d stashed in the trunk.
His ankle throbbed with every beat of his heart, and he wondered at the wisdom of refusing the pain meds the E.R. doc had suggested. No, no. He could handle the pain. Although, admittedly, he’d never broken a bone before, either, and a busted ankle was going to be more of a challenge to handle than the routine aches and pains from sports and exercise he’d dealt with in the past.
Her face noticeably pale, Phoebe came hurrying around the back of the car, the crutches in hand. “Here you go.”
Carson grabbed them and lifted his casted lower leg out of the car, then clumsily tried to situate the crutches under his armpits, which was a trick in the low car. Finally he succeeded in getting everything in the right place. Taking a deep breath, he awkwardly hoisted himself to his feet, hopping around on his good ankle to find his balance. A wave of dizziness crashed through him, and the ground tilted.
Phoebe stepped close and took his arm. “Hey, there. Take it easy.”
He clenched his jaw; if not for her steadying hold, he probably would have toppled over like a felled tree. “I’m fine.”
“I know, but you’ve been through a trauma, and your body needs some time to adjust.”
> Frustration pounded away at him. “I should be able to handle crutches,” he ground out, blinking to clear his wooziness.
“Yeah, well, just be thankful it was an ankle injury and not higher up on your leg.” Phoebe took a better hold on his upper arm. “Drew broke his femur in two places when he fell off his bike as a kid, and he was in a wheelchair for weeks. I’d like to see you handle one of those babies.”
Man, her hand on his arm felt good. Comforting. Warm. Soft.
Just what he needed.
He looked down at her, liking how the late-afternoon sun shined into her eyes, turning them into an almost translucent baby blue. “You wanna follow me for the next six weeks with that arm around me just in case? At least something good would come of this stupid injury.”
She rolled her eyes, but her cheeks got rosier. “Stop, will you? You’re being silly.”
He shook his head and immediately regretted the sharp motion. “Maybe, but having you by my side all the time sounds pretty good.” Especially after he’d prayed last night about how to handle his feelings for Phoebe and had actually come away with answers. With God’s help, he was getting past some of his fears.
She stiffened noticeably, her shoulders raising a bit, but she didn’t comment. He looked down, and she seemed to be studiously ignoring his gaze. Her delicate jaw was taut beneath the fall of her curly hair.
He came to an awkward halt. “Hey,” he said, jumping in place a bit on his good leg to stay balanced. “Is something wrong?”
Turning her gaze up, she pressed her mouth into a bright smile that appeared completely fake. Totally put-on for his benefit. “What? No.”
He scoffed. “I might have broken my leg, but my brain isn’t busted. Something’s bothering you.”
After a long pause, she nodded. “It’s just been a stressful day, is all,” she said, avoiding his gaze as she pulled slightly on him to get him moving.
He resisted her urging. “Phoebe, talk to me.” Her distance, which he’d picked up on when she’d shown up to get him at the hospital, bothered him. A lot. He’d become used to having her close, having her to lean on, and the thought of losing that nearness and support had his gut rolling.