Love After Loss

by W. Mae Smith

  He started to giggle, “It was good.” He seemed to be hiding something he thought was rather funny.

  “What?” I swatted him lightly on the thigh. “Tell me.”

  He lifted his right ring finger to show me his new purchase.

  “What’s that?” I asked, taking his hand in mine, examining his ring.

  He looked at Patrick as if he wanted to say, should I tell him? Patrick responded with an eyebrow lift guiding his eyes to the ceiling and turning around as if to say, not getting involved.

  “It’s a heat ring…” Carlos answered vaguely.

  “A heat ring?” I was interested but my guard went up immediately. Heat ring. Heats. Those words echoed in my mind for a moment before I shook them out not allowing them to distract me and take me to a different place from the past.

  “Yes. Well, my heat is coming soon, and I’m, um, taking suppressants. So I thought this could help me, ah, gauge when it will be arriving more accurately, you know?” He looked shy when he told me this. It was kind of cute and different from his normal in-your-face confidence.

  I smiled at him and twisted the ring around his finger, allowing me to get a better look at it. “I think that’s awesome,” I responded in approval.

  It actually was in some way a relief. I wouldn’t have to ask or even guess now when his heat was coming, the ring would simply show me.

  “Well, when it’s red will you come over?” He asked me, turning his sexy confident charm back on.

  “Of course I will.” I said giving him a kiss on the cheek and he cuddled into my armpit in appreciation.

  We sat on the couch for a moment enjoying one another’s company until Patrick broke the silence.

  “Tamales are ready!”

  Carlos jumped up from his cozy crevasse and excitedly served me my first tamale. I let mine cool a little longer and nervously watched him try his customary Latino Christmas dish I had made for him.

  “Wow Damien! This is perfect. Almost as good as my grandmother’s!” He gave me a kiss for approval.

  Patrick, too, raised his brows in satisfaction. “Yes these are great, Damien! Thank you!”

  It made me so happy to see them happy. I could see myself cooking for two every night if it made me feel this good. Carlos and another, but maybe the other would be replaced with another someone later on, someone a little smaller.

  17

  Carlos

  Christmas came and went. I barely noticed it between work and spending time with Damien. The world seemed to slow down when we were together. He was all I thought about all day at work and school and he was the only thing I wanted to do when I got off work. He drove me crazy, made me feel something I had never felt before with anyone.

  My suppressants must have thrown my body off cycle because my heat hadn’t come yet and my ring was only golden yellow. I didn’t mind though because we were really getting to know each other. We were becoming serious and I wasn’t sure how a heat might interfere with our connection.

  I was back in school and my schedule was becoming pretty hectic again. Work, school, homework, and now fitting Damien into my spare time; it was all quite the juggling act. January flew by and before I knew it Damien was asking me out for Valentine’s Day.

  I hadn’t been this excited about something in a long time. I was nervous. Sure we had spent the last two months together laughing and having fun but Valentines Day felt like the next big step in our relationship.

  He had planned a very special night for the two of us. We were going for dinner at La Rouge, a fancy restaurant in the hills that had a view you could die for. I had only seen the place advertised in fancy magazines or heard of it through some of my wealthier classmates whom had been there for special occasions with their families, birthday, graduation, engagement etc. Now Damien was inviting me, I felt so special. He had also booked the suite in the hotel above his bar for after dinner, so we could spend the night together alone.

  I lay my outfit options down on my bed, judging them from all angles. White slacks with a green shirt. Too summery I decided. Grey slacks with a patterned purple shirt or black slacks with a dark ruby red shirt. I pondered over my two decisions for a moment, holding each one up to my body regarding myself in the mirror. At last I went with ruby red shirt and black slacks. It was more formal and it was Valentine’s Day, so red seemed very much appropriate.

  Early that day I had been to the barbershop and my jaw trim was looking fresh. I added a little gel to the tops of my hair to keep it slick and dabbed on some expensive cologne I treated myself to the other day.

  Damien was coming in about 20 minutes so I spent the remaining time flashing poses in the mirror and creating flawless answers and comments for hypothetical situations.

  There was a knock at the door and my heart leapt out of my chest in excitement. I opened the door wide and took in all of Damien. He was in a crisp white long sleeve button up, his pants were tan brown slacks and he held a single red rose. His radiant white smile coordinated with his white shirt and both contrasted against his beautiful chocolate skin perfectly.

  “Wow,” was all I could muster saying at the sight of him. He smirked shyly, dipping his head with a little bow and, with one hand behind his back, he handed me the rose. I felt like I was in some kind of a romance movie. I accepted the rose and pulled him in for a giant wet kiss.

  He had arranged for a car service to pick us up at our neighboring apartments. We rode in intimate silence the whole way there. We didn’t need to rush conversation - we had plenty of time. Both of us were so comfortable with each other no words needed to be said.

  When we arrived at La Rouge I was speechless. It looked as though I had just pulled up to the set of The Bachelor. The castle-like stone steps that lead up to the entrance were lined with tea candle lanterns on either side and a red velvet carpet lay in the center of the steps.

  We walked arm in arm up the stairs and the host greeted us with a polite curtsy before gracefully guiding us to our table. The inside dinning area was small and intimate. It had faux fireplaces on each wall, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and candles lit everywhere. The three lighting elements allowed for romance to flicker in the air.

  The tables and chairs were wood with velvet red coverings, like the carpet on the staircase leading in. I wondered if it was always like this or if they brought out the red in honor of Saint Valentine.

  We walked straight through the inside dining room to find what the real buzz was all about; the view. It was an absolutely phenomenal view of San Bernardino created from the spacious stone balcony that over looked the entire city. The balcony was shaped as a horseshoe with all the tables lined along the railing so each one had their own spectacular view. In the center of the balcony was a beautiful water fountain covered in bright white lights. Not only was it beautiful to look at but also it created a soothing white noise that took you away from being in a restaurant and made you feel like you were on a hillside in a park alone with your lover.

  Before sitting down, I grabbed Damien by the waist and pulled him close to me against the railing so we could take a moment to take in the view.

  It was all so perfect; the moonlight, the view, him. Then, his thick arms pulled me in close, he looked deep into my eyes and told me, “I want everything with you.” The words made my knees buckle and my heart ooze.

  I smiled back at him as our future flashed into my mind. I pictured him meeting my family in Colombia, they would love him. He would meet Rory and Justin as well, Rory and I would have a laugh that we were both mated to retired soldiers. I imagined our first apartment together, somewhere nice, perhaps with an extra bedroom so our family could eventually grow.

  “I want everything with you, too,” I echoed back to him and kissed him; a long deep passionate kiss.

  We dined on an exquisite five-course meal complete with fresh caviar and a decadent chocolate soufflé at the end. We sipped champagne and red wine. I felt like I was floating in the clouds, high on ecstasy
.

  When dinner was over, Damien graciously paid the bill. I was brimming with excitement as we walked down the steps back to the car. Damien wrapped his long arms around me, snuggling me tightly. I began to think of all the nasty things I could do to him as my Valentine’s Day gift to him.

  We pulled up to the hotel and got out of the car. Damien tipped the driver generously and suggested we get a cocktail. As I walked into the bar I was beginning to realize I had never been here, which was strange considering how close I had become with Damien. Despite our utterly romantic evening, I knew there were a few things he was still hiding, however and I wanted to get to the bottom of them before he had the chance to break my heart.

  18

  Damien

  Carlos’s sassy confidence was a definite turn on. He had never been to my hotel or bar but he walked in like he owned the place. He sat down and ordered a beer from the waitress without hesitation then looked back at me waiting for me to put in my order. I walked up behind him and smoothly rested my hand on his back.

  “Hi Gina,” I greeted the waitress and her face instantly lit up when she noticed me and my new partner beside me.

  “Hi Damien! Happy Valentine’s Day, baby! So, this is why you’ve been so happy these last couple months, eh?” She motioned to Carlos.

  Carlos smiled with pride and leaned into my chest. “I’m making him happy, eh?” He said in a ‘well, obviously’ kind of way.

  “Oh yeah.” She served Carlos his beer, “Keep up whatever you’re doin’ cause I like him happy. He’s lettin’ me get away with murder,” she said adding a wink. “And what can I get you honey?”

  “I’ll have a Seven and Seven, thanks.” I turned my attention back towards Carlos. All night I had wanted to take him straight to the room and rip off his clothes. I could tell he wanted it, too.

  We hadn’t officially been with each other. There was the first encounter at Carlos’ and a few more times kissing and playing around, but we hadn’t done the real thing, not yet. Our work schedules were so crazy and when we did find time to be together it was often spent with hours of conversation.

  The passion was there. Sometimes the heat was so intense between us I would have to step outside for fresh air to escape his temptingly spicy scent. We were waiting though, for the right moment, so it seemed. I wanted him to know everything about me before we took that next step. Even though sometimes it felt like I needed a sedative to control myself around him.

  Tonight I wanted to take him to my work place since he had never been to my bar. I wanted to introduce him to some of my work family. It was, after all, the closest family I had at the moment. The bar had kept me level headed for so long. It was a big part of my life and I wanted Carlos to feel a part of it too.

  I watched him sip his beer and devour me with his eyes at the same time. “So Damien,” He started to paw at my shirt. “You never did tell me what happened that day.”

  He caught me off guard. With the classy dinner and the invitation to my bar the last thing I expected was for him to bring that up. I was hoping he had forgotten about the whole thing. “What day?” I tried to play it off like I had forgotten.

  “You know, that day, in your apartment, you were kind of…upset?” He was obviously avoiding saying what had actually happened. But he was also tipsy enough to be bringing it up.

  “Oh that, that was nothing, just you know, work stuff.” I wanted to tell him my truth but tonight was not the night especially here in my work place. He didn’t look convinced but luckily dropped the topic respecting that it was clearly not something I wanted to get into.

  I had been avoiding my therapist’s calls for months now, just like I had been avoiding telling Carlos. I thought about calling her back or admitting myself to him but I was doing so well. I was worried going to see her or bringing it up would make me fall right out of line again. Just being in her office would bring back memories I didn’t need right now. I knew I could always call her if things started to go south again, but I didn’t see that happening with Carlos by my side. So I decided to keep my mouth shut, to everyone.

  I looked at his flawless Latino features, “I want to meet your family,” I said, partly to change the topic of conversation and partly because I really was curious to know where he came from. “I mean it must be hard to be away from family, the way you talk about them you all must be really close.”

  “It is hard,” he sighed. He looked so cute when he was sad. “But I really moved here for them. If I have a better education I can get a better job and make more money for them, you know?”

  Carlos might be an omega but he sure was an alpha to his own family. It partially explained his confidence. I was really falling for this omega. I breathed in his spicy aroma and I wondered for a moment if it was too soon to mate him.

  I grabbed his knee. “Carlos?” I leaned into him. My urges were beginning to take over. The combination of our scents mixing in the air made my dick start to pulse. My boldness of my rich chocolate scent with his spicy flare were too much to deny. “Carlos, I want you, I want all of you.” I said to him. My body was inches away from him. My breath was heavy, breathing on his collarbone as I looked down at him.

  He looked up at me with want in his eyes. “What are you saying?”

  I looked up briefly from the pull I was in. I forgot we were in my bar. I was supposed to be introducing him to my work family, being romantic, getting to know him and letting him get to know me. All I could think about was getting to know him my own way, the only way, mating him.

  “Come on,” I whispered in his ear, “Lets go to our room.”

  I caught Gina’s attention, said thank you and told her we would be right back. I knew that was a lie but I didn’t want to let on that I was going to go upstairs and make Carlos mine tonight.

  Carlos looked shocked, the same look he had given me when I had entered his house that day, two months ago. The look of his confidence, letting go, his knowing that I’ll be taking over from this moment on. Turning passive as desire burned in his eyes.

  He stood up as I lead the way to the elevator. The doors opened and a couple walked out. I smiled politely at them nodding my head as I let them pass before entering. The doors closed behind us and I wanted to throw him against the metal walls but I restrained myself. I knew once I started kissing him I wouldn’t be able to stop, at least not in time to relax the raging boner that would erect in my pants before an innocent guest came through the doors.

  Our room was the top suite on a private floor. The 14th to be exact. It was a long way to the top. Every time the doors opened to let someone on or off I held my breath. Finally we reached the 10th floor and I couldn’t wait any longer. Without looking I took my hand and sneakily placed it on top of his cock. The thin slacks left no room for imagination as I felt him grow underneath the fabric.

  I glanced at Carlos from the corner of my eye. He was playing along, acting nonchalantly with his hands placed behind his back. His eyes looked straight ahead at the closed doors but I could see color flushing to his cheeks and he began biting his lip hard.

  “Almost there baby.” I whispered as I gripped his cock a little harder one last time before the elevator doors opened.

  19

  Carlos

  The elevator doors opened up to the top floor suite. The entrance was large with tile floors and a floor to ceiling window opposite the elevator. A mirror hung on the right hand wall and there was a glass table in the center with fresh roses in a vase. The shades of the room were navy blue and grey, keeping with the consistency of the hotel’s lobby. My eyes were interested in nothing but the set of double doors on the left that lead into the bedroom.

  Without skipping a beat Damien grabbed my waist pulling my body against him, kissing me, and feeling me all over. He didn’t let my lips leave his as he stepped backwards and opened the double doors to the king sized bedroom.

  My entire body was elevated, my senses were peaked and my head was spinning. I couldn’t thin
k anymore, I just let Damien take control of me.

  Every moment from this night had felt like some kind of foreplay, rubbing thighs in the car ride, dinning on exquisite food, seeing his work place for the first time, even meeting Gina made me hot just knowing I was now a part of Damien’s life.

  When he touched my cock in the elevator I had become so hard so fast it almost hurt. My dick was raging hard now as he sucked my lips and pushed his tongue down my throat.

  I reached my hands up his white dress shirt and felt his thick body. He was soft on top but underneath was dense with muscle. For a moment I pictured him young and tight with washboard abs, but after gripping his thick flesh my face grew hotter and I knew he was perfect for me just like this.

  I wanted his strong arms to be around me forever. So much of my life I had spent being cocky and confident but with him I could let everything go, relax, I felt safe. My alpha I thought, my fucking alpha.

  As I said those words in my mind my desire to please him grew. We stood at the foot of the bed and before he got the chance to throw me on top I dropped to my knees.

  I slipped his belt buckle undone, unbutton and unzipped his pants. I watched my ring change from golden yellow to amber orange. Not quite in heat but the passion was sure heating me up, provoking my hormones.

  I wiggled his pants off his hips and placed his cock in my mouth. My lips slid up and down his shaft. It grew to full size in my mouth causing me to choke and pull my head back slightly.

  “Your cock is so fucking big.” I gasped looking up at him. He responded by grabbing the back of my head and pushing it towards his body so my lips slid further down the shaft once again.

  I let him hold my head in place as I sucked him trying desperately not to choke again. Tears formed in my eyes from working his cock so hard. He loosened his grip and I pulled back to look up at him. His strong jawline was clenched, and he licked his full lips looking down at me. He was so hot I didn’t want to stop pleasing him.

  Taking his balls with one hand and cock with the other I searched around for spare saliva in my mouth. I spit on his dick, lubricating it so my hand could work him harder and faster. He started talking to me in a deep sensual voice.