“I know that. I really do. But I am so ready to start living a normal life. I feel so bad that you’ve been stuck in this limbo because of me.”
“Things will get back to normal in time,” Shay said. “And there is no place I would rather be than with you.”
“You don’t resent this situation—or me—even just a little?”
“None of this is your fault.” She turned Talia’s face to look her in the eyes. “You know that, don’t you?”
“In theory I know it, but I just don’t want to lose you.”
Shay hugged her. “The first thing I want to do when we can go out is to dance with you in front of everyone at the bar.”
“Oh, yeah? What else are you going to do in front of everyone?”
“Kiss you just like this.” She pressed her lips against Talia’s.
There was a rustling behind them and Jackson muttered, “Oh, sorry.”
“Hi,” they said in unison.
“Shay, do you think you could spot me?”
“Yeah, sure.” She turned to Talia. “You up for some workout time?”
“Let me go put on my running shoes.” She jumped up and headed to their bedroom to put on the new Reeboks Agent Gish had brought her.
Once in the garage, Talia set the treadmill on a relatively slow speed to start. She increased the incline until she felt a pleasant pull on her legs and butt, then she turned up the speed a touch and settled into a rhythm. She watched Shay spot Jackson as he bench-pressed some very heavy weights. Shay glanced at her and smiled. Talia would never get tired of being on the receiving end of that smile.
She increased the speed slightly and started to jog. Her dad’s smile flashed through her mind from a long time ago. Too quickly his smile disappeared and she saw an expression of disappointment and then pain. She closed her eyes and it was as if a highlight reel of her relationship with her father was playing on a screen in front of her.
Talia was a daddy’s girl when she was very young. Up until she was about eight years old, she had tried so hard to please him. She mimicked him by trying to walk like him, talk like him, and smell like him. Finally she quit sneaking his Old Spice and seeking his attention. She had lied to him about eating the last of the cheesecake. Brian knew she’d lied and that was the first time he had showed any interest in her. For some reason, once Brian started to pay attention to her, she couldn’t seem to break away and regain her father’s affection.
There were some rough spots in her relationship with her brother, like the thing with Timmy and Tommy when she was ten and Brian wouldn’t stick up for her because she’d backed down on her lie. But for the most part, though, Brian was her best friend and ally.
Her father’s expression of sadness flashed through her mind. She increased the speed on the treadmill yet again, forcing herself to run hard, trying to outpace her dad’s disappointment. She remembered backing Brian’s story when he’d lied to their dad about the goldfish that had disappeared and wondered if he’d known then how he’d lost his daughter to his son.
Her dad’s sadness and disappointment turned into slack, expressionless flesh as he lay in the bathtub, lifeless. But was he really lifeless? Could she have saved him if she had told someone?
She could hear the pounding of her feet on the treadmill and something else…her own anguished sobbing.
She stepped off the moving belt and onto the stationary sides and, with shoulders hunched, she let the tears course unchecked down her face. She flipped the switch and, when the treadmill belt stopped, she stumbled off and ran out of the garage gym. She could hear Shay calling from behind her but kept going until she was in the bathroom they shared. She turned the water as hot as she could stand it and stood in the shower and cried until no more tears would come.
After she dried off, she dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt. She found Shay sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper. Shay looked up and patted the cushion next to her. “Sit with me,” she said.
Talia sat beside her.
“You okay?”
She gave a negative shake of her head.
“Would it help to talk about it?”
Talia nodded. “I need to. I can’t say my resolution to be honest is legitimate if I’m hiding something important from you.”
Shay cocked her head.
Talia’s hands shook. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to tell someone.” She stared at the carpet on the floor in front of her and took a deep breath.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Really it is. Tell me what’s going on.”
“The day my dad died…I found his body in the bathtub…”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you’d found him.”
“I found him floating in the tub. He was kind of bloated and bluish white.” She took several deep breaths. “I saw him there and I turned around, shut the door, and pretended not to.”
Shay stared at her. “I don’t understand.”
“I found my dad hours before my mom did and I just went back into my room, got in bed, and pretended that I hadn’t seen anything.” She looked at Shay for a long moment. “He might have still been alive and I might have been able to get him help. He might still be alive if I had just said something.”
“Oh.”
“I was embarrassed and ashamed and selfish.”
“You were young,” Shay said.
“Not that young. I was thirteen and definitely old enough to know better.” She moved a few inches away from Shay. “I’ve never asked my mom about that day or about whether anyone knew how long he’d been there.”
“Do you want me to dig around to see what I can find out?”
Talia shrugged. “I don’t know if I could handle knowing for sure that my father is dead because of me.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Shay pulled her closer.
“He’d gotten mad at me for something a few days earlier and threatened to send me away. Maybe I wanted him to die.”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” Shay asked.
“No. Not really.” Talia’s tears flowed. “I don’t know—”
†
“Wow, it’s 1987!” Jackson poured some coffee into his mug and leaned against the counter. “You sleep okay?”
Shay smiled. “Yes. Like a baby.”
“Good.”
Shay felt heat rising on her neck and face as she thought about making love to Talia the night before. They had gone to bed just intending to sleep when Talia rolled over to face her. “I can’t stand the thought of not spending the first couple of hours of a brand-new year making love to you,” Talia said.
The words had caught Shay totally off guard and she’d grown wet immediately. “What about Jackson?” she’d asked.
Talia rolled over onto Shay and kissed her hard, then whispered, “I bet I can be extremely quiet. How about you?”
And they were. Each time one had been about to call out, the other would cover her mouth and absorb the sound, swallowing it, inhaling it, keeping it hanging in the air like the scent of their sex.
“Shay? Shay?” Jackson interrupted her reverie.
“Oh, sorry. What did you say?” She blushed, and was sure her thoughts of the night before were written all over her face.
“I said Angela’s coming by later. She’s bringing some black-eyed peas and greens.”
Shay squinched up her nose. “Seriously?”
“It’s a southern thing,” Jackson said.
“Isn’t Gish from Chicago? What’s with the ‘it’s a southern thing?’”
Jackson thought about that. “I think you’re right but I, for one, will not call her out on that. Besides, she makes killer greens.”
“Greens?” Talia asked from the doorway.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Jackson sang out.
“Good morning. Oh, greens, the smelly stuff you eat on New Year’s Day for good luck?” Talia asked.
“You two better eat every last bit on your plates because,
no offense, you are not doing so well in the luck department.”
Talia nudged Shay. “He sort of has a point but only about the murder stuff. Other than that, I’m feeling pretty damn lucky lately.”
Jackson rolled his eyes and Shay smiled.
There was a familiar pattern of knocking on the front door. A key slid into the lock and Jackson helped Angela Gish as she came in with her arms loaded down with a huge pot of food. “Nathan, there’s more outside, could you go grab it?”
Jackson headed out and came back with another pot with a pan of corn bread teetering on top. Shay grabbed the pan as it began sliding toward the floor.
Shay noticed Talia sniffing the air with a peculiar look on her face just as Gish noticed too. She held back a chuckle.
“No, you are not already knocking my food without even trying it,” Gish said.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Talia responded.
Gish gave her an exaggerated squinty look, then laughed. “Humor me, okay?”
“Okay.” Talia nodded toward the bedroom. “I’m going to go take a shower.”
“Can you hang on?” Gish asked. “Let me put these pots on the stove to keep everything hot. Then I need to talk to you.”
Shay and Talia exchanged glances then went into the den and settled on the sofa.
Gish popped a top on a Coke as she came into the den. “We’ve had an anonymous call from a woman in New York. She said she’s been traveling with Brian and he’s crossed into Canada.”
“Canada?” Talia asked. “He hates the cold.”
“But I guess he’ll love the way Canada won’t extradite on death penalty cases,” Shay said.
“Once a cop, always a cop?” Gish asked Shay, raising an eyebrow. Shay shrugged.
“Do we have anyone trying to substantiate that?” Jackson asked.
“Agents are in New York now.”
Shay let out her breath in a rush. She hated the thought of not getting justice for Talia’s neighbor’s murder, but if Brian was in Canada, at least Talia was safe.
“Don’t be getting complacent, now,” Gish said to Shay.
“How do you do that?” Shay asked, referring to her knowing what she was thinking.
“I’ve seen that look on many faces. You still need to eat the good luck black-eyed peas and greens.” She headed toward the kitchen. “And you still need to stay put.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Shay called to her back as she went into the kitchen.
An hour later, Shay was watching with amusement as Talia forced down her good luck meal. Shay had once dated a navy woman from South Carolina and had been made to eat this same meal both New Year’s Days they were together. But, she had to admit, Gish’s recipe was much better.
“I love the corn bread,” Talia said.
Gish laughed. “Just eat a few bites of the peas and greens. I guess you’ll be all right since Shay is eating your share as well.”
“What I do for you, my love,” Shay said, then wondered where the hell the “my love” part came from.
“And don’t think for even a minute I don’t appreciate it,” Talia said.
Jackson nodded his head in their direction and said to Gish, “At least we didn’t get stuck with two people who hate each other. Remember that one case last year?”
“Yep. They were so obnoxious I didn’t even cook them any greens.”
†
“Agents located the young woman who called in the tip about Brian running to Canada. I’m sorry,” Jackson glanced at Talia and then looked at Shay. “She was found dead and the coroner thinks she was probably killed right after she made the call to authorities.” He leaned against the wall. “We can’t say for sure, but it’s looking more and more like he’s crossed the border into Canada.”
“He might never be found up there,” Shay said.
“Excuse me,” Talia whispered. She walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. Poke sat at the door and meowed.
“Come here, sweet boy,” Shay said. The cat looked at her but stayed by the door.
Shay closed her eyes for several moments, then opened them and said. “Tell me about the murdered woman.”
She forced herself to look at Jackson as he described first the woman, then the crime scene.
“He’s a sick dude,” Jackson finally added.
“Yes, he is.” Shay glanced at the bedroom door. “What now? Do we stay holed up indefinitely? I don’t know how much more of this Talia can take. This has been emotionally draining.”
“I know it’s been hard.”
“And I really need to be able to get out there and earn a living again.”
He nodded. “I’ll talk to the rest of the detail and see what we can come up with.”
“Thank you…for everything.”
“You are quite welcome.” He nodded toward the door to the garage. “I’m going to run on the treadmill for a while since it’s cold and drizzly outside.”
She nodded, then leaned her head back and closed her eyes. After several moments she felt Talia more than heard her, and opened her eyes. “Hey, sweetheart, you okay?”
Talia sat down beside her on the sofa. Poke jumped up and snuggled between them. They were quiet for several minutes before Talia spoke. “Do you think Brian caught that woman ratting him out and that’s why he killed her?”
Shay shrugged. She hoped she was just reading more than what was actually there into Talia’s question and that she didn’t really think Brian needed a reason to kill someone. “There’s no telling.”
“What else did Jackson say?” Talia turned slightly on the sofa to face Shay. She stroked the cat as she looked into Shay’s eyes.
Shay studied Talia’s face. The circles under her eyes were growing darker. Where Shay’s nightmares had lessened a little after she told Talia about them, Talia seemed to be growing more and more restless at night. She considered not telling Talia the whole truth, then decided that if she expected total honesty from Talia, she had to reciprocate.
“Shay?”
“He said the scene was identical to your neighbor’s. The young woman was found sitting in a recliner with a cord around her neck and she’d been strangled. There was a blanket covering her legs and her hands were in her lap on top of the blanket.”
Talia visibly shuddered.
“Sorry,” Shay said.
“I can remem—” She hugged her legs against her chest.
“What is it?”
“I can remember one time being home sick. Well, I wasn’t sick, I was faking it. Brian knew I wasn’t really sick. Hell, he’s the one who dared me to lie about it. This was when I was very young and when I first started lying. Anyway, he tucked me in with a blanket around my legs and reminded me that I couldn’t change my story under any circumstances. Then he went on to taunt me by asking if I wanted to go out for ice cream or crabbing off the Smith’s dock.”
“The way those two women were found reminds you of that day?” Shay asked.
“Yeah. What if every little thing he does is about me. What if every death is about me?”
Poke jumped off the sofa.
“It’s not your fault,” Shay said.
“Not directly.”
“Not in any way.” She slid closer to Talia. “Please don’t torture yourself over this. He is playing you and everyone else. Don’t let him win by blaming yourself.”
Chapter Thirteen
Shay and Talia held hands behind the cat carrier in the backseat of the black sedan. Shay saw the look that passed between Angela Gish and the driver of a matching car they passed a block from Shay’s house. Agent Jackson kept his eyes on the side mirror, watching behind them.
“The house has been cleared. Don’t be alarmed if at first you notice the presence of a few agents. It’s a precautionary measure,” Gish said.
Shay looked at Talia, trying to gauge her reaction. Talia nodded toward Gish, then turned to Shay and flashed a smile. Shay had to smile back.
“Shay, you’r
e planning to go back to work at the bar right away?” Jackson asked.
“Yes. I’ll be doing security at night and teaching some self-defense on Saturday afternoons.” She glanced out the window. “There is still a lot of fear and tension over the murders of Allie and Diane.”
“I imagine so,” Jackson answered, his voice low.
“Why don’t you go ahead and solve that case so we can all relax?”
Jackson turned halfway around to look at Shay. “Hell, why didn’t I think of that?”
“Okay, kids,” Gish teased. “We’re here.”
Shay noted her truck in the driveway and how nicely mowed and maintained the yard was. She had a sneaky suspicion Jackson was behind that.
Holding the cat carrier in one hand, Shay pulled a bag from the trunk. The others all grabbed bags and they headed to the front door. Inside Shay could smell the lemony fragrance of a cleaner.
“We didn’t want you to have to come home and worry about weeks’ worth of dust,” Gish said.
“Thank you. Thank you both so much for everything you’ve done for us since this started,” Talia said as she set her bags off to the side.
Shay noticed a catch in Talia’s voice. She put down the cat carrier and her bag in the living room and embraced Talia from behind. Talia squeezed her hands.
“So, remember to be vigilant.” Gish put her hands on her hips. “Jeffrey being dead doesn’t mean every threat has been neutralized. Allie and Diane’s murderer is still out there.”
Shay stepped away from Talia.
“And Brian could decide to come back into the country. If we hear even the slightest chatter about that possibility, we’ll need to secure you again,” Jackson added.
Shay saw Talia shudder at the mention of her brother. She wanted to believe that Brian’s sense of survival would keep him from returning, but knew that with someone like him there was no way to be certain.
“We’ll leave you to it, then,” Gish said.
“You have both our phone numbers, and the emergency number. Do not hesitate to call if you need to and we’ll keep you informed on any progress in finding the murderer or locating Brian,” Jackson said.
23 Miles Page 18