It was over an hour's drive back to the ship, enough time for Alys to recover a little and go to have lunch with her aunt at the taverna-style restaurant on the promenade deck. But Alys merely picked at the food on her plate, unable to eat, her mind too busy.
After lunch, Louise got to her feet and said briskly, 'We must go and get our things together for our visit to the museum this afternoon.'
'I think I'll stay here, if you don't mind.'
'I'm afraid I do mind. I'm not going to leave you here alone, Alys. You wanted to find out what Titus felt about you and now you do. So you must learn to live with it. After all, nothing has changed.'
They had been walking along the deck, but now Alys Stopped and looked at her. 'One thing has changed.'
'What's that?'
'I've never really looked at what happened from Titus's point of view, only my own. When I left I was so hurt, so upset that I didn't stop to think. I just acted instinctively. And I expected Titus to put everything right and come after me, beg me to go back to him. I didn't realise how much I'd hurt him.'
'When people love each other as much as you two did, then any hurt, any form of—betrayal would be bound to cut very deep. Don't you think so?' Aunt Louise suggested gently.
Alys lifted a tired hand to push her hair back from her face. 'There's only one thing I know; I've lost Titus. He hates me for what I did, and nothing will change that.'
She walked on then, but her aunt stood staring after her for a moment before hurrying to catch up.
Alys duly went round the museum with her group, but afterwards they could choose whether to go straight back to the ship or spend the rest of the afternoon in the town of Antalya. Alys would have gone back to the ship but her aunt steered her towards the other coach that dropped them off in a square in the town, overlooking the sea. Jack Reed had also been on the coach; he came up to her aunt and said, 'Miss Norris, I wonder if you'd be kind enough to let me borrow Alys for a while? I have to buy presents for my nieces and have absolutely no idea what they would like. But I know that Alys works at a girls' school, so she must be an expert on teenagers.'
'Of course,' Aunt Louise answered, without even looking at her niece. 'Girls can be so difficult, can't they?' She looked at Alys at last, saw her making a protesting face, but only said, 'Don't worry about me, dear; I'll walk round for an hour with these other ladies and see you back at the ship.'
She walked off and Alys turned to Jack. 'Whose idea was that—yours or hers?'
Jack grinned, in no way put out. 'Let's go and have a drink.' He put a hand on her arm and led her across the busy main road and down a steep, cobbled lane that led to the old port. Here they found an open-air cafe on the quay with a pleasant breeze off the sea that lifted the fringes of the gaily coloured umbrellas.
'We must have something Turkish,' Jack declared, picking up the menu. 'What would you like?'
Alys settled for Turkish coffee and sat back while Jack chatted about the museum. 'What did you think of the statue of Hadrian, from Perge?'
'I don't think I saw it.'
'That's strange; I saw you gazing up at it for a good five minutes.'
'Was I?' Thinking back, Alys couldn't remember very much at all about the museum.
'Somehow I don't think your mind was on it.'
'No,' Alys admitted.
'Something happened to you in the theatre back in Aspendos, didn't it?'
'I suppose you could say that.'
'Do you want to tell me about it?'
'Did Aunt Lou suggest I should?' Alys asked drily.
But he ducked that one. 'Sometimes it helps.'
'Not in this case.' She paused, then said shortly, 'If you really want to know, I was—forced to accept the fact that the man I love no longer loves me—that I'd turned the love he had for me into hate.'
'But you say you still love him?'
'Did I?' She looked down at her cup. 'Yes, I do.' Her eyes darkened with sadness. 'So very much.'
'And I suppose this man is Titus Irvine?'
Alys hesitated, then nodded.
'That explains Shakespeare's sonnet, then. I wondered why he chose that particular piece.' He glanced at her, hesitated, then said, 'You must have known him quite well in the past?'
Alys nodded, and gave a little laugh. 'I suppose you could say that. Yes. We were—very close for quite some time.'
'But not recently?'
'No. I ‑' she summoned up the courage to say the words '—walked out on him a couple of years ago.'
'And I suppose seeing him again revived old memories—old passions? So hearing him recite that poem must have been pretty devastating.'
She looked away, towards the sea. 'Yes, it was.'
Jack studied her averted face for a minute then gave a rueful smile. 'I don't seem to be having much luck on this trip, do I? Both the women I admire seem to be in love with Titus.'
Frowning, Alys turned back to face him, making a supreme effort to think of his problems instead of her own. 'Do you just "admire" Gail, or is it more than that?'
'It would be a whole lot more, given half a chance,' Jack admitted candidly.
Feeling really sorry for him, Alys said painfully, 'I don't think you have even that much of a chance, from— from what I've heard.'
'I see.' Jack looked down at the table. 'What you've heard from Gail, I suppose?' Alys didn't answer, which was an answer in itself, and he shrugged. 'Oh, well, it was a nice dream while it lasted. Look, let's have something stronger, shall we? I've an idea we need to drown our sorrows.'
They had a couple of drinks but neither of them was really in the mood, and after an hour or so they caught a coach back to the ship. That night Alys and her aunt made up the usual four for bridge but broke up to go to bed quite early. Aunt Louise tactfully didn't mention Titus when they were alone in the cabin, although Alys could think of nothing else as she lay awake long into the night.
Alys didn't bother to jog the next morning and didn't want to go on the excursion, but forced herself to do so and afterwards was quite glad she had because the scenery was beautiful along the coast road. She sat by the window today and gazed out at distant mountains, long stretches of white beach, and coastal parks, green with trees. She blinked as they went through tunnels cut into the rock, and put on her glasses to shelter them from the blaze of light as the sun coruscated off the gently lapping sea.
The site they visited that day was an ancient port, small but very beautifully situated on a small promontory of land. There were far more trees than on any other site they had visited, so that it was shady and there was the sound of birds as they walked the old paved streets to look at the aqueduct and the tiny little theatre. Because of the trees and the sound of the sea it was infinitely more peaceful here. Alys felt it and wrapped it round her heart. The daily programme sheet had said that there would be time for swimming, so she had put on a swimsuit under her dress. When they came to the water's edge, where shaped stones still formed a jetty, Alys simply kicked off her shoes, stepped out of her dress, and dived cleanly into the water.
She was a good, strong swimmer despite her air of fragility, and had soon swum quite a long way out. Pausing to tread water, Alys looked back at the shore. Several people were standing on the old jetty, watching her, Titus among them. He had lifted his hand to cover his eyes, the better to see. Does he think I'm going to drown myself or something? Alys thought bitterly. It was a thought that hadn't occurred to her before and she resolutely pushed it away now. With a show of bravado, she lifted her hand to wave, then, turning on to her back, she swam even further out, crying now, because this was the only place where she could be alone. But after a while, aware that time was passing, she turned and headed back to the beach in a fast crawl; she had already come to the attention of the cruise director twice; she didn't want him to have to strip off his trousers and come after her this time.
The thought of the rather pompous cruise director without his trousers suddenly made her giggle rath
er hysterically, and she was still smiling a little when she reached the beach and waded out of the water.
'Had a good swim?'
Titus's sardonic voice made her look up to see him standing next to Aunt Louise, who was clutching Alys's things. Giving him a brilliant smile, she said, 'Yes, thank you,' and went up to her aunt. 'The water was gorgeous,' she said, and touched Louise's hand reassuringly, taking away her worried frown. 'There's a towel and dry things in my bag; I'll just go behind one of these walls and change.'
She headed towards a broken archway with a mass of overgrown trees and bushes behind it, but turned in surprise when Titus said, 'I'll keep guard for you,' and followed her. But as soon as they were out of earshot his reason became obvious as he said harshly, 'Did you have to frighten the hell out of your aunt like that?'
'What do you mean?' Alys stopped and turned to look at him, lifting a hand to wipe drops of water from her lashes, drops that he mustn't know were tears.
'That crazy stunt you just pulled, swimming out so far that you made everyone worried. Just what were you trying to prove?'
'Nothing! I just wanted to ‑' She broke off.
But Titus wouldn't leave it alone. 'Just what?'
'It doesn't matter.'
She half turned to go on again, but he caught her arm. 'I suppose it was just an impulse; you felt like it, so you did it—without bothering to think about anyone else. Which is just about par for the course with you.'
Suddenly, gloriously, she was angry and indignant. 'Take your hand off me!' And she wrenched free of his hold. Putting her hands on her hips, Alys glared up at him.. 'And just what right do you think you have to criticise what I do? You said I lost any rights over you when I walked out on you; well, the same went for you when you gave me no choice but to leave. So just go away and leave me alone, you—you big thug!'
She strode away from him, went through the arch and quickly dried herself and dressed. When she came out Titus was sitting on a low stone wall a few yards away, ostensibly making sure that no one intruded on her. Without giving him a glance, Alys walked back to join her group. 'What a long way out you swam,' one of the women remarked. 'You must be a good swimmer.'
'Yes, I teach swimming at a school, and I'm used to an Olympic-sized pool,' she explained, loud enough for several people to hear and pass it on.
They left shortly afterwards, and as they drove away from the site Alys looked back almost with regret; its peace had reached her and eased her heart a little. Even that short scene with Titus hadn't destroyed its peace, and she felt better able to face things now. 'Things' being Titus, of course. And Gail. Alys realised that Gail hadn't been much in evidence that morning. She said as much to her aunt.
'I have seen her, but she does seem a little subdued today.'
'Gail, subdued? She must be ill.' But there was no animosity in Alys's voice. She realised she rather liked Gail, who still had a touch of natural openness, despite her outward sophistication.
Glancing at Aunt Louise, Alys said, 'Were you really worried about me when I went swimming?'
'Who said I was?'
'Titus. He was angry about it.'
'Was he really? I wasn't aware of him watching me.'
'So you were worried?'
'A little, until you waved. I'm quite surprised that Titus should say I was worried, though; I'm sure I didn't show it. Perhaps he was just letting you know how he felt himself.'
'He knows I'm a good swimmer.'
'And he should also know how upset you must have been after hearing that sonnet yesterday.'
'He doesn't care,' Alys said dully.
'Is that what you think? I wonder why he bothered to recite it at all, then?'
But Alys knew; Titus had wanted her to understand just why he no longer loved her, despised her even. And perhaps he had wanted to hurt, to hit back for the hurt she had caused him. And today? Well, that had been simple enough, too. He was convinced that she hadn't changed, that her swimming out today had just been an impulsive way of trying to get her own back. And maybe he was right; Alys just wasn't sure of anything any more.
The ancient port was the only place they visited that day. The coaches went straight back to the ship and it set sail as soon as everyone was on board, spending the rest of the day at sea.
That night there was another gala dinner, the 'Thousand and One Nights', with an oriental menu and the waiters dressed in Arabic-style clothes this time. It was a long meal, six courses, with coffee up in the lounge to follow. The food was delicious, so her table companions enthused, but Alys didn't eat much and couldn't remember the taste of what she did try. The ship's band was playing in the lounge, as it did almost every night, although Alys and Louise didn't usually listen to it as the card-room was on the upper deck where it was quiet. That evening Alys expected to play bridge again but Aunt Lou said that she didn't feel like playing tonight, so the two other ladies went quickly off to try and find another pair.
'Are you tired?' Alys asked.
'Not really. I just thought I'd like a change. The band are quite good, aren't they?'
Alys agreed that they were and sat back in her armchair. She was glad not to be playing bridge and felt nervously tense rather than tired. She was young and fit enough to withstand the loss of a couple of nights' sleep, but the lack of it had made her face fine-drawn and there were dark smudges around her eyes. Gail came into the lounge with her mother, but they went to sit over the other side of the room. Other passengers finished dinner and drifted in, the free wine they'd drunk making them louder than usual, and they'd made friendships by now, so were more at ease with one another, laughing a lot. Then Titus came in with a couple of the lecturers and their wives, and—Alys was quite surprised to see—with Jack Reed.
'May we join you?'
Dragging her gaze from Titus's back, Alys automatically smiled up at the two women who were hovering over the empty seats at their table. Soon they were chatting amiably with Aunt Lou, although Alys only sat silently and listened. Why do women always seek out other women? she wondered. Why do they never go up to men who are sitting alone and plonk themselves down with them? Because they've been brain-washed to think it fast, she supposed. And perhaps they were afraid that the men might be married. There were certainly a lot more women than men on board, although there were a few men on their own. But they seemed to single each other out, too, so perhaps it worked both ways.
'Such a wonderful doctor.' The words, spoken by one of the women, caught Alys's attention. 'He was absolutely brilliant at treating my sister. Everyone else she saw just said it was her nerves until she saw Dr Reed and he made the correct diagnosis.'
'Has he a private clinic?' Aunt Lou asked.
'Yes, he has, but he takes National Health patients, too, of course. And spends just as much time with them as the private patients, I understand. And he works terribly hard, because he's such an expert in his field. That's why I was so pleased to see him here,' the woman enthused. 'If anyone needs a holiday it's Dr Reed— although it should be Mr Reed as he's a consultant, of course.'
'I should imagine he ought to be able to afford to pay for a holiday, then,' Alys remarked, becoming interested.
'Well, of course he can. He's quite rich, you know. His grandfather built up a very big business, and his father was in merchant banking.' The woman leaned forward and lowered her voice to speak confidentially. 'I understand they left him a fortune, a very large fortune. My sister said that he endowed a wing of the hospital where she was treated, and helps to keep it running in these straitened times.'
Well, the dark horse! Alys thought in some amusement. And here's me been feeling sorry for Jack because I thought he was out of work.
The woman's voice broke off abruptly and Alys looked up to see Jack himself walking over to them. He smiled a lazy greeting and the woman, flustered, said, 'Oh, Mr Reed, we were just talking about you—but you'd rather that it was Dr Reed on this trip, wouldn't you?' And she gave a girlish simper, as if she was
sharing a secret with him.
He didn't answer, just held out a hand to Alys and said, 'No bridge tonight? Come and shuffle round the floor with me, then, although I warn you I'm no good at it.'
Actually he was quite good; he moved well with the rhythm, although he didn't try any fancy stuff.
'What was that old busybody saying about me?' he demanded crossly.
'The truth about your murky past. The words "brilliant" and "wonderful" came into it quite a lot. It seems you cured her sister of something highly mysterious. You're her big hero.'
Jack grinned. 'Well, at least I've got one woman Titus hasn't!'
'Why didn't you tell me you were rich and famous?'
Throwing his head back like a tragedy actor, Jack said in affected tones, 'I wanted to be loved for what I am!' Then in his normal voice, 'Not that anyone ever does, of course.'
'Thought you said you were always too busy to find anyone.'
'True.'
His eyes swept over towards where Gail was sitting, and Alys, following his eyes, said, 'Gail isn't with Titus tonight.'
'No, I noticed that, too. Why do you think it is?'
'I've no idea.'
His voice hardening a little, Jack said, 'I shouldn't have thought he was the type to taste and toss aside.'
'He isn't.'
Something in Alys's voice made him look at her and say quickly, 'Sorry! How are you feeling today?'
'Oh, I'm fine.' But her voice was brittle.
'I hear you swam halfway back to Greece this morning.'
'Couldn't resist using up some energy.'
'Was that the only reason?'
'Is this a free consultation?'
'Is that your way of telling me I'm to mind my own business?' Jack asked mildly.
'Would it do any good?'
'Shouldn't think so. I'm incurably nosy. In the circumstances I should think it was the only place you could find where you would be certain of being alone so that you could have a damn good cry.'
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