He grabbed my arm gently, stopping me from rinsing the forks. I looked up to meet his glassy eyes, and heat tunneled through me as soon as I locked on them. “You seem on edge, Kandy. You know we don’t have to do this,” he murmured. “I can take you back with no problem.”
My throat worked hard to swallow, like all words had become lodged in my throat. I wanted this to happen. I wanted it so much that the ache was gnawing at every single nerve in my body…but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think about Dad and Mom, or how much this would change things between Cane and me. He wouldn’t look at me the same afterward. There was a chance he’d think I sucked and wouldn’t even visit anymore.
I brushed those thoughts aside. “No, it’s fine. I want to stay with you.”
He dropped his gaze to the floor, as if in deep thought.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He thought on it for a bit, then shifted his gaze back up to mine. “I just…I don’t know if I’ll be able to be gentle enough with you, Kandy. I’ll try to be, but if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I like to fuck…. hard.” He blinked slowly, and my stomach clenched, but definitely not in a bad way. “It’s been a while since I last had any or did anything…”
“It’s okay…” I turned to face him. “I trust you, Cane.”
“You shouldn’t,” he said, and his gaze became all too serious, his lips pressing thin. He finished off his drink without so much as a wince and then took a step back. “Give me twenty. Make yourself comfortable.” He turned and walked out of the kitchen.
I watched him go then finished up the dishes. My heart wouldn’t stop racing.
His words scared the hell out of me. If anything, they’d felt like a threat, but I knew Cane. He knew when to be in control and when to let loose, but in my situation, it was different.
I was new to him—a young, innocent girl, who didn’t know much at all about pleasure or sex. I was certain he’d never had anyone this much younger than him. He didn’t know what I could handle—hell, I didn’t know what I could handle, but I hoped I could manage whatever he had to offer.
32
CANE
It’d been well over twenty minutes since I’d come upstairs.
I paced the room with guilt in my heart that started as a snowball but had eventually rolled into an avalanche, and I couldn’t control it any longer. I only had one call to make, and it was settled, but as soon as the quiet swept over me and I remembered why I was here, it tore me up inside.
Kandy…
I’d had a lot of shit thrown my way, and I got through it unscathed and with no problem, but I didn’t have it in me to carry this kind of guilt around for the rest of my life. I feared Derek would smell it on me, or worse, notice the changes. I feared I’d distance myself from him and her, just so I wouldn’t have to face my backstabbing and secrets.
I wanted to give Kandy everything she’d ever wanted, but giving myself to her was a daunting task. She’d sent that text message to me, and I understood where she was coming from, and to be honest, I didn’t want anyone else to have her first. I wanted her to myself, no matter how greedy or selfish that made me. I refused to let another man or boy take what we both knew belonged to me.
With a sigh, I stepped in front of the tall window and focused on the body of water. It splashed over metal-gray rocks and sand, the docked boats swaying gently. It was peaceful. Beautiful. This was one of the many reasons I liked to come here and escape, because of this view. The tranquil sunset made the rippling body of water glitter in an alluring manner that would make any person want to drop their feet in, or go for a ride on a boat.
I knew I couldn’t stay in here forever. She was waiting for me out there, and the last thing I wanted her to think was that I didn’t want her…because that would be a fucking lie. I wanted her so damn much that I was sure the cravings would have killed me if I’d allowed them to take over.
If it wasn’t going to happen now, it never would. We were alone together with nothing but time, and for some reason, that thought alone was driving me out of my damn mind.
It was much easier to say no before because there was always someone or something to cut us off and prevent us from taking things further, but now that she was alone, with no protection and no disturbances, stopping wouldn’t even be on our minds.
I wasn’t kidding about what I’d told her in the kitchen. I wasn’t gentle or sweet when I fucked. I never had been, which made scarring her my biggest fear of all.
33
KANDY
I was starting to get nervous.
I’d washed the dishes, took my suitcase up to the bedroom he’d told me about, and now I was sitting on the canopied California King bed, running a hand along the cotton comforter. It was blue and plush, the walls a soft gray.
I liked this room the best, and could see why he did, too. The window right across the room gave an elevated view of the lake. I could even see a few houses across the body of water.
Cane was torn. I couldn’t believe I’d forced him into bringing me here and having us get to this point. Though I didn’t exactly make it an ultimatum, I implied it by making it known that if he left me with my virginity while I was in college, I would probably give it to someone else. I highly doubted I would give it to anyone right away, but things always changed—you never knew what could happen or who I could meet down the road.
Day and night, it was Cane who was on my mind, not some other guy. Sure, I could meet someone in college, hang out with him, and get drunk, but I probably wouldn’t let him take it as far as getting my panties off. I’d been touched by Cane on more than one occasion. I had memorized and craved his touch, and knew no one would be able to make every single part of my body spring to life like he could.
I was about to stand from the bed and go back downstairs, but the sound of his footsteps stopped me. I looked up as they came closer, and then he appeared between the frames of the door. His tie was loosened, the buttons of his dress shirt undone. His belt buckle was loose as well. He looked relaxed, like this was the look he wore after a long day of work.
“Took a while,” I said softly, but instantly hated myself for the nervous betrayal in my voice.
“I was thinking.” He walked into the room, looking around like he hadn’t seen it in a while. He drew in a deep breath and then unleashed it, dropping his eyes to mine. “Let’s not jump straight into this,” he declared.
I sat up higher. I knew it. He was calling this off. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…let me freshen you up and get you relaxed first.”
“How are you going to do that?”
He looked to the right, at the bathroom door, and then lifted a hand to gesture to it. “A bath okay? I have essential oils that I use for myself. Helps me unwind after a long day.”
I pressed my lips and nodded “Sure. That sounds nice.”
He was pleased, I could tell by the twinkle in his eyes as he shifted his gaze from me to the door. I wasn’t sure if it was the idea of bathing me that excited him, or if he was just happy to be able to finally see me naked.
He walked past me to get to the door, pushing it open and walking into the bathroom. Standing from the bed, I made my way to the door too, gripping one of the frames and pressing my cheek to it.
I watched him lean over and grip the silver knobs of the clawfoot tub. He started the water, dropping his hands under the stream to check the temperature. When it was just right, he grabbed a small, purple bottle from the shelf pinned to the wall above it.
“Lavender and chamomile,” he noted, smirking at me. I smiled back as he added a few drops to the water. “It will make you feel calmer. Loosen the tension in your muscles. It always soothes me.”
“I’ll be honest, Cane. I can’t picture you sitting in that bathtub,” I laughed.
He laughed with me, a comforting noise that didn’t make me feel so out of place. “There’s a bigger one down the hallway that I use. My
tub at home is a California luxury whirlpool. It fits two people.” He placed the oil in its rightful place and grabbed another bottle, adding a few drops of it to the water too and creating an instant bubble mixture.
Walking to the cabinet by the shower, he took down a sky-blue towel, similar in color to the walls of the bathroom, and placed it on the towel rack. Going back to the cabinet, he pulled down two white votive candles in frosted glasses, sparked the wicks with a lighter from his pocket, and then placed them on the countertop.
The oils from the tub were already making the bathroom smell delightful, but the lit candles made it romantic. When it was all set up, he came my way, stopping one step short. He grabbed my chin between his fingers, eyes falling to study my lips. “I’ll let you get comfortable. Turn the water off when it’s where you want it to be.”
I bobbed my head and he pulled away, walking out of the bathroom and leaving me to it. I left the door partially open, my belly a swirled mixture of butterflies and excitement. I was truly nervous now. Cane would see me naked. Completely naked. A bathing suit wouldn’t hide me this time. I would be fully exposed.
I undressed slowly in front of the tub. I looked all around me, from the tub, to the glass-cased shower, down to the stone flooring and marble counters, to the two windows that were a few inches above my head.
I told myself this was okay. I was nervous as hell, but I wanted this, and it was finally happening. I couldn’t back out—wouldn’t back out. With that thought in mind, I dipped a foot into the water. It was the perfect temperature. I climbed into it and sat down, sifting some of the bubbles through my fingers and running them over my legs. I shut the water off when it was just above my chest, and no less than a minute later, Cane was coming back in.
I drew my knees to my chest and smiled at him over my shoulder as he walked my way with a footstool in hand. He placed it in front of the tub and sat. He wasn’t wearing his dress shirt anymore. He’d changed into a plain white T-shirt. The shirt revealed everything, from his broad, sculpted chest to the perfect, narrow torso that led down to thick thighs. His tattoos were revealed, and it was always strange seeing them, but only because he usually covered them up. The look suited him, but if I’d seen a man like Cane, the last thing I would have assumed was that he was the millionaire owner of a wine, chocolates, and lingerie company.
“The water okay?” he asked me.
“It’s great.”
He gave a close-lipped smile and grabbed something that was beside the tub. He lifted up a pink sponge and back scrubber and dipped it into the water.
“I’m going to bathe you. All you have to do is relax,” he murmured. But relaxing was hard as hell to do when I was naked as hell in front of him.
I did the best I could. I dropped my legs, and was glad the foam covered most of my breasts. “I know it seems weird and is new for you,” he said, running the sponge over my arm. “This is new for me too. Doing this with someone like you.”
“You’ve done this for other women?”
“Only one.”
“Who?”
“My mother.”
I wasn’t expecting him to say that. “Oh.”
He was quiet for a beat, focused on sliding the sponge over my shoulder.
“She was drunk,” he continued, focused on the sponge. “She’d thrown up all over herself, in her bed—everywhere. I had just come home and could smell it through her door. It was awful. Almost made me want to throw up.” He let out a pained laugh. “When I was younger, I remember she would use chamomile and lavender for my baths. I used to have a bit of a temper problem, so she’d run the bath for me, add the oils, let me soak for a bit until I’d calmed down, and then she’d come and help me wash. When I got older she didn’t do it as much, but I did miss them.”
“Oh. Well, that’s nice. Sounds like you really love her.”
He didn’t respond to that. Instead he swapped the sponge for the back scrubber. “Sit forward a little.”
I did as instructed, and he scrubbed my back gently. It was so soothing. He was gentle and careful, but still thorough. “It would be nice to meet your family one day.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” His voice was harsher. “They’re not good people to surround yourself with.”
“How aren’t they? They made you, and you aren’t so bad.”
He stopped washing my back and pressed a hand to my shoulder, lightly forcing me to sit back. His eyes dropped to my chest and his nostrils flared. It took him a while to blink, but he did eventually. I lowered my gaze to what he’d been looking at before and noticed my light-brown nipples were prodding through the foam.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
“Don’t be.” He ran the sponge over my shoulders and chest, but was careful going between my breasts. His thumb skimmed over my nipple as he worked his way down, and my breath hitched. His throat bobbed.
“My mother is a drunk and an addict. As a matter of fact, she’s in rehab right now,” he stated. “For the second time in a year, actually. I told her if she gets clean I’d buy her a condo in Charlotte. She wants to move there, open up a bakery soon and start over, but I refuse to invest if she isn’t serious about her health or her future.” I could tell he was talking about his family to distract himself from looking at me, or thinking about touching me, and I was okay with it. I’d always wanted to know more about his family, and here it was. “My sister is engaged to some shithead drug dealer and lives in Los Angeles with him, so I don’t see or hear from her much. He has money, so she doesn’t need much from me. Can’t forget to mention that he doesn’t like me.”
“A drug dealer?” I frowned a little, confused. “Why a drug dealer?”
He shook his head. I sensed that he knew the answer, but didn’t want to talk about it, so instead, I said, “Well, it’s nice to know you still care and think about them.”
“I do care…but sometimes they make mistakes. I want to help them as much as I possibly can, but there’s only so much you can do for people who don’t really want help.”
“I guess.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “Is your dad still in jail?”
“I’m assuming so, yes.”
“You don’t keep in touch with him?”
He frowned then, head shaking. “Fuck no.”
“Has he tried getting in touch with you since?”
“Yes, but I never respond. What’s the point? No person wants to have a conversation with a father who beat them senseless as a child.”
Wow. That hurt my heart to hear, and from the sad look in his eyes and the tightness around his mouth, I realized this was hurting him too. Badly. “Cane, I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Kandy.” He shrugged. “It’s the past. We live and we learn. He can’t hurt me now, and that’s all that matters.” He dropped a hand into the water, running the sponge over my belly. The lower he went, the more I felt myself clench. “I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I’m here with you.”
He washed the insides of my thighs, getting closer and closer to my pussy. I looked up and his eyes were on me, like he wanted to see how I would react with him being so close down there.
By the way he stared, so hotly I could feel his gaze heating up my soul, I knew I’d given him the reaction he was looking for. My chest was tight as I held my breath, my fingers balled into fists while trying to control my body.
Cane released the sponge, so that all that was left between my legs was his hand. He slid that same hand forward, pressing a finger to the lips of my pussy. He was right outside the folds, and with one push, he’d have access.
Leaning forward to put his lips to my ear, his breath ran cool over my shoulders and down my chest, making my nipples tight and painfully aware of his presence.
“Your pussy is so soft,” he whispered in my ear. I sucked in another breath, to which he said, “Relax, Kandy. Just breathe.”
So I did. I inhaled and exhaled, letting the gentle scent of lavender soothe
my mind and body. “Close your eyes and rest the back of your head on the tub,” he instructed.
I shut my eyes and tilted my head back, the base of it meeting the coolness of the porcelain. I wasn’t expecting him to pull his hand away. I wanted him to keep it there, and even whimpered with the loss.
He chuckled softly. “Patience, little one. We have two whole days together. Plenty of time for me to train and play with your body.” His fingers were in my hair, running through it. He poured some water over my hair, along with a squirt of shampoo, and then massaged my scalp. He did this for a while, and it felt so good that I wanted to nap while he did it.
He rinsed the soap away and then washed my body again. This time he didn’t hesitate with the sponge. He ran it over my breasts, lifted my arms to wash beneath them, ran it up my belly and then down again to get between my legs. He washed me down there and I shifted, sinking my teeth into my bottom lip.
“Breathe,” he whispered. “Relax.” His voice was calm. Deep. I breathed in and out as he washed me. “Okay?” he murmured.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
He dropped the sponge again so all that was left was his hand. His groan was feral and deep as he spread the lips of my pussy apart. He slid a finger over my clit and a sharp gasp flew out me.
My eyes popped open, my lips parted, ready to form words, but he repeated himself again.
Breathe. Relax.
I nodded, sighing, as he slid his finger down slowly and plunged it into me. The base of his palm massaged my aching clit while his finger thrust in and out.
His eyes locked on mine, hot and hungry, while my lips parted. He immediately dropped his gaze to my mouth. Before I knew it, he was leaning forward, his mouth on mine to claim it.
His hand worked faster, his finger hitting the familiar spot that triggered everything wrong and good inside me. It was a gradual thrust and swivel of his palm, all of it bringing me closer and closer to the edge as his warm, silky tongue devoured me. His lips were in sync with his hand. Every time he would thrust, he’d kiss me. Every time his tongue met mine, he’d groan.
The Cane Series: Complete 4-Book Box Set Page 20