I rested my head on his shoulder, drawing in a deep breath. He’d told me what was bothering him, yet I’d still kept my mouth shut. Right now was the perfect opportunity to spill…but I couldn’t. Not yet. The guilt was real, and it was eating me alive. I couldn’t wait to go to the doctor and get results. Then I could tell him, and everything would go back to the way they used to be.
Eight
KANDY
My drive to Atlanta went by much slower than I’d hoped, most likely because I was anxious to know what would happen.
I really wanted there to be good news, but with my family’s history, and what my body had suffered through because of what Kelly did to me, I knew my chances were slim. Still, I clung to hope.
I met Mom at a brunch cafe and left my car in the parking lot, riding with her the rest of the way to Dr. Bhandari’s office.
“Is there a deeper reason why you haven’t told Cane yet?” Mom asked when we neared the clinic.
I shifted in my seat, putting my focus on the street ahead. “I just don’t want him to get too excited or nervous, or whatever he feels. He has a lot going on at work.”
She scoffed. “When doesn’t he?”
“I’m going to tell him. I just want to make sure that my chances aren’t too low, you know?”
“Yeah.” She tapped a finger on the steering wheel. “You think he’ll be excited to know?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “We’ve only talked about kids a few times—mostly when we were in Belize. I don’t think he minds the idea of it anymore.”
“Well, that’s good to know.” She rolled up to the clinic, parking in the lot. Shutting the car off, she asked, “You ready?”
I nodded and grabbed my satchel, getting out of the car with her. We walked into the clinic, where several women were already waiting. After checking in, it only took ten minutes for Dr. Bhandari’s nurse to call us back. She checked my weight first, and I was surprised to see I’d gained seven pounds. After I left a urine sample, we were taken to the exam room, and the nurse did a blood pressure check, checked my pulse, and then informed me that Dr. Bhandari would be coming to see me at any moment.
“Good morning, Miss and Mrs. Jennings!” Bhandari sang, trotting into the room.
Mom and I smiled at his cheerful demeanor. “You’re in a good mood,” Mom noted.
“Oh, I am always in a good mood! I start my mornings with deep meditation. Gets me through the days, even the tough ones. But enough about that.” His eyes swooped over to mine. “I hear that someone may be expecting!”
I laughed. “Yes.”
“Well, I have your test results from your urine sample here, and if you had any doubts before about being pregnant, you can put those to rest because you are indeed expecting, Miss Jennings!”
“Really?” My heart seemed to beat harder and faster as I held my belly. “Do you think everything will be okay?”
“That is what I am going to find out right now. Do me a favor and lie back on the table for me. Let’s see how everything is looking.”
If I thought my heart was beating too fast before, it felt like it was going to pump out of my chest now. What if he checked and nothing was happening? What if something was wrong?
I laid back as he called the nurse in. She helped get me situated, feet in the sock-covered stirrups, and Dr. Bhandari went straight to work. He ran the wand of the ultrasound over my stomach, his eyes focused on the computer screen. “Ahh…there that little one is.”
I stared at the screen, narrowing my eyes. I didn’t see much of anything at first, just black and white spots, but then he clicked a button, and focused on one spot in particular.
“Do you see that?” he asked, pointing to a circular spot on the screen. “That is your baby, Miss Jennings.” I gasped and looked over at Mom, who’d cupped her mouth. Dr. Bhandari kept moving the wand and clicking. “You know, I was looking at the last ultrasounds of your damaged uterus. It looks nothing like before.”
“Seriously?” I asked. “How does it look now?”
He stopped moving the wand to focus on me. “Strong,” he said with a smile. “Were you taking the vitamins I recommended?”
“Yes.”
“They seem to have paid off for you! The embryo looks firmly attached there.” He placed the wand down and picked up a clipboard. “Have you had any bleeding in the past few weeks?”
“No. None.”
“That is great to hear, too.”
“So are you saying her body will be okay for pregnancy?” Mom asked.
“I would say that she is very high risk. Although the embryo seems to be holding on and looks secured, there are a lot of variables at work here. I suggest visiting me or another preferred doctor every week. I’d still like to get some internal ultrasound images. Those can be a little more uncomfortable, but they will allow me to really see what is going on in there with the baby and the lining of your uterus.”
“Sure. Anything,” I breathed. My heart was fluttering so fast in my chest.
Dr. Bhandari got his images, but while I laid on that bed, all I could think about was what Cane would say when I told him. There was still a possibility of something bad happening, but maybe if I did exactly what they said and took it easy, it would be okay.
When we were done, Dr. Bhandari told us he’d send me his suggestions via email once he looked over the images, to determine what to do next. In the meantime, he’d given me some prenatal pills and a prescription for a nausea medicine.
Mom stopped by Panera for lunch, although I couldn’t really down the food. It looked amazing, but the aromas were really making me want to barf. We didn’t stay there for very long.
On the way back to my car, Mom said, “You know, even if something bad happens, which I pray it doesn’t, I still think you should tell Cane. Those moments are hard, Kandy. You’re going to need someone to help you pull through it. My someone was your father. If I hadn’t had him, I don’t know what I would have done.”
I felt her eyes on me, but didn’t bother meeting her eyes. I was too busy looking at my ultrasound pictures.
“Once we hear from Bhandari, I’ll tell him,” I told her, running my finger over the black and white image.
“Okay, sweetie.”
When we got to the lot where my car was parked, Mom said she had to meet with a client to go over a case, and I didn’t want to hold her up, so I hugged her tight and watched her go. During my drive, though, I got an email from Dr. Bhandari.
Hello Miss Jennings,
I’m contacting you in regard to your appointment with me earlier. I just want to let you know that I was correct about the embryo being firmly attached. You look to be around five weeks along. As you are considered high risk, I suggest waiting to announce your pregnancy until at least the 8 week mark, when we can hear the baby’s heartbeat. Around 13 weeks, the likelihood of a successful pregnancy increases exponentially. If you begin to cramp too much or even start spotting, please do not hesitate to seek help or call me. I can’t say what will happen in the future, but I will say that there is always a fighting chance, if not now, then in the future. Make sure you take your prenatal vitamins. If there are any problems or cause for concern, please call. I hope to see you again in two weeks.
Best regards,
Vic Bhandari
My heart seemed to drop to my stomach. He’d mentioned there was a fighting chance, but it didn’t sound as promising as I hoped.
I drove the rest of the way home, trying to figure out what exactly to tell Cane. It wasn’t like I could go up to him and act like I was in the clear. I still had eight more weeks before I could know for sure, and even so, that was a long time from now. Anything could happen.
When I got home, no one was there, and I was slightly relieved. I trudged up to my room and curled up beneath the comforter, glad that my nausea had subsided for the moment. I fell asleep, not waking again until around two in the morning. Cane was in bed with me, his arms thrown over his forehead,
covering one of his eyes. He was snoring, which was rare. He must have been really tired.
The interesting thing about Cane’s sleep habits now was that he slept more since I’d moved in. He didn’t toss and turn like before. He literally slept like a baby.
And speaking of babies, I didn’t even think about how much things would change by having one. Mom had told me so much, like how she had permanent bags under her eyes because I was a terrible sleeper as a baby and a kid. And also how she had to wear pantyliners every day for two years because when she sneezed, coughed, or laughed too hard, she’d leak a little.
Don’t get me wrong—Mom still had a great body, but a lot had changed for her when she gave birth to me. Was I ready for that yet? For my entire world to shift? My body to change?
I rested on my back, staring up at the ceiling fan. I placed a flat hand on my belly and inhaled deeply before letting it go. If it was meant to be, I knew it would happen. If it wasn’t, then I had to face that truth when it arrived…but Mom was right about what she said before. I couldn’t do it alone. If things did go bad, I wanted him to be there for me.
This was our seed. We’d planted it together, and we’d deal with it the same way.
Together.
Nine
CANE
I’d been dreading this morning all week long. I sat at my desk, sipping on the coffee a new intern had delivered, when Cora walked in. “Sir, she’s here,” she announced, worry swirling in her eyes.
I groaned, placing my cup down and pushing out of my chair. “Let’s get this over with. Send her in.”
With a nod, Cora took off. Several seconds later, there she was.
Eden St. Claire.
Don’t get me wrong, Eden was a very good looking woman. She had smooth, topaz skin and had aged nicely. Her dark hair was straightened, reaching just past her shoulders, and large diamonds were in her ears. I’m certain with a father as rich as Gerald Miller, they were real diamonds. She was easy on the eyes—eye candy, as many men would say—but her inner flaws made her less than appealing.
“Eden,” I bellowed, stepping around the desk and extending my arm to offer a hand.
“Mr. Cane,” she said in response, grabbing my hand and shaking it. She looked deep into my eyes, a smirk on her lips. “You look great.”
“As do you.” I released her hand, gesturing to the chairs behind my desk. “Sit, please,” I said, walking back to my chair. She sat first, and I placed my elbows on the desktop while she pulled a folder from under her arm.
She placed it on the desk and opened it, peering up at me beneath lashes that were caked with mascara. “You have more tattoos since college,” she noted.
“I’d prefer that we not rehash past history. Let’s keep this professional.”
She paused, picking her head up to meet my eyes. “Do you really think I came all this way just to talk business? I mean, I knew you were a bit dim in college at times, but didn’t realize it would carry over the years.”
“Insulting me won’t heal old wounds, Eden. Look, I apologize for what happened. Trust me, I wish I’d just told you that I wasn’t going to go.”
She fixed her jaw, lowering her head and flipping through the paperwork. “Honestly, these papers would have been so simple for me to scan and send for you to print and sign, but I wanted to see the look on your face when you saw me.”
I sat back in my chair. “What did you think I would do? Get nervous?”
“Are you?” she challenged.
“Not at all.”
Her tongue ran over her lips. “I hear you are engaged. When’s the wedding.”
“Next fall.”
“Hmm.” She smirked. “Let’s hope you don’t stand the bride up at the altar like you did me at the airport.”
“Not going to happen.” I held both hands out, as if the answer were right in front of us. “She’s the love of my life.”
Her eyes narrowed as she slid several sheets of paper across my desk. “Who is she, anyway? A lot of people have been wondering who this lucky lady is.”
“Her name is none of your concern.” I grabbed a pen, reading over the first sheet. I’d read them before, but I didn’t trust Eden, and I wouldn’t put it past her changing terms to make me look like a fool in the end. I signed it after reading it, and as I went to the next sheet, Eden stood and walked around the office.
“Are you ashamed of her?” she asked, looking out the window. “Like you were ashamed of me?”
“Why do you still hold onto that anger?” I questioned, frowning. “It was years ago. We were kids.”
“Yes, but I really liked you, and you didn’t even give me a fair chance.”
My nostrils flared, and I shook my head, reading over the next page carefully before signing.
“As I recall,” I murmured, “I gave you many fair chances. Shit happens. Most people learn to let it go. We weren’t compatible.”
“You weren’t trying to be compatible,” she spat, folding her arms. She looked me over in my chair. “You just thought you were better than me.”
“That’s far from true. I assumed I wasn’t enough for you, and I let it go. Don’t tell me you haven’t met anyone after me? I’m certain you have.”
“I have,” she declared, coming closer to the desk. “And he was great. We were together for four years…but apparently I was too much for him too.”
“There are men out there who desire the things you do. Maybe you’re just choosing the wrong men.”
She scoffed, and before I knew it, she was standing at the edge of my desk, only a few steps away from me. Her hand touched my shoulder, and I glared up at her. “Eden, you need to get your hands off of me and take a seat.”
“God, I used to love that,” she sighed. “Your bossiness. The possessiveness. I always knew you’d end up being your own boss one day.”
I clenched my jaw. She started to move behind me but I pushed out of my chair, frowning. “Is this why you came? Because you think something will happen between us?”
She simply smiled. Nothing more.
“Okay, let me fill you in on something,” I snapped, taking a step closer. “I love my fiancée. I’ve been in love with her for years, and it doesn’t stop now, just because someone from my past comes knocking on the door. There is nothing between us, Eden, so just back off and do your damn job.”
“Or what, Cane? You’ll tell my father?” She gave me a smug smile. “Did you notice he and I don’t have the same last names?” She looked me over. “Yeah, it’s because he’s a lying bastard who went behind his wife’s back to sleep with a woman named Valerie St. Claire. My mother didn’t think he was worthy to have a child named after him. His wife couldn’t have kids, so of course she resents me for being a living, breathing creation of his. Every time I see her, I see the hate in her eyes, but you know what? I don’t care, because I am his only child, and I have him wrapped around my finger, and she knows she’ll never be able to get rid of me. My father already knows how I am. He knows that I like to take what I want; he’s fine with it as long as I don’t disrupt his plans.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but there was a knock on my door. Cora popped her head in, and Eden stepped back, turning her back to us and looking out the windows again.
“Sir, your fiancée is here. She said she needs to speak with you.”
I narrowed my eyes then looked over Cora’s shoulder at Kandy, who was standing in front of Cora’s desk with a small smile. She gave me a cute wave, but her eyes were full of worry. It wasn’t like her to just show up without letting me know first. Something wasn’t right.
“Send her in,” I insisted, grabbing my pen and signing the final paper. “Miss St. Claire was just leaving.” I stacked the papers to line them up then handed them to Eden with a dismissive glance. Cora walked back out, nodding and saying something to Kandy, and when Kandy came into the office, she rushed my way, throwing her arms around me. Her lips found mine along the way, and I kissed her back, groaning a
little as she deepened it. “Kandy?” I breathed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just have something to tell you. You left early this morning, so I didn’t get the chance. Thought I would surprise you.” Her eyes shifted over to Eden, who had walked up to the desk to collect the papers and put them back in her folder.
“Well, hello,” Eden said to her, wearing that same smug smile she had on earlier. “I’m Eden St. Cl—”
“I know who you are,” Kandy interrupted, giving her a frosty glare.
“Oh. You do?” Eden smiled, sliding her eyes over to me. “You’ve told her all about me, huh, Cane?”
“I don’t keep secrets from her.”
“Is that your thing now? Honesty? Gotta tell ya, it doesn’t really fit you.”
“You can leave now, Eden,” I said as calmly as possible, wrapping my arm around Kandy’s waist.
“Oh, don’t worry. I was just going.” She tucked the folder under her arm. She stopped a few steps away from us on the way out, putting her attention on Kandy. “I didn’t catch your name,” she said.
“It’s Kandy.”
“You are very young, Kandy.” Eden smirked at me. “He’ll definitely end up leaving you at the altar.”
She trotted her way out, and Kandy watched her go until she could no longer see her. When Eden was nowhere in sight, Kandy turned to me with a grimace. “You didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”
“What?” I hissed. “She doesn’t look better than you, Kandy.”
“Oh, please. Bullshit.”
I walked around her, closing my office door.
“I told you I had a meeting with her today. Is that why you showed up? I thought you trusted me.” I stood in front of her, folding my arms.
The Cane Series: Complete 4-Book Box Set Page 78