Having a baby while in college was hard, but my professors worked with me. During the first six weeks, I’d enrolled in online classes and did the work from home. When I managed to go to class after those six weeks had passed, Lora or Miss Cane would watch Chance for me for a few hours until I returned. They were good with him, but they spoiled him rotten for sure.
My life revolved around Chance now. I went to college, took care of him, and spent time with Cane. It was a simple life—a routine we’d created—and I was living through it. What we had now felt even more real than what we had before. In a way, Chance completed us. He made us happy. He was a beautiful baby, with chunky thighs and small toes and chubby cheeks. His skin was a few shades lighter than mine, and a bit darker than Cane’s—the perfect blend of us.
Around eight weeks postpartum, I felt much, much better. It wasn’t as painful anymore to move around, Chance was getting healthier and growing so fast I couldn’t believe it. Once I’d gotten the green light from Dr. Maxine, I decided to whip my butt in just enough shape to fit into the wedding dresses I was scheduled to try on in July. Fortunately, it didn’t take me too long to get back into shape, though I did have loose skin that was never going to go away unless I had plastic surgery. Cane swore he loved it because it was literal proof that I was his, but I legit hated it.
Before I knew it, my college graduation had arrived. I worked tirelessly and consistently. I did it, through all the sleepless nights and ups and downs, and everyone was there.
“Oh, honey. I’m so proud of you!” Mom was jumping up and down with me wrapped in her arms, hugging me tight after the graduation ceremony.
“Thanks, Mom.”
She released me, and I looked at Dad, who had a bouquet of flowers in his hands. “For my baby girl,” he said, offering the peonies to me. Peonies had become my favorite. Since I had spent more time in the house during the pregnancy, and even more so after having Chance, I decorated the house a lot, giving it different accents and making it fresher. Flowers were one of my favorite ways to spruce things up.
I accepted the flowers and hugged my dad then I looked to where Cane, Lora, and Miss Cane were. Miss Cane had Chance in her arms, smiling at me. Cane had his fingertips tucked in his front pockets and was watching me. He wore a sky-blue button-down with a charcoal tie, and pants to match the tie. His beard had been trimmed down so that it was just a light dusting of hair along his jawline. His sleeves were rolled up, showcasing his beautiful ink.
I swear, my fiancé was the most handsome man in the world. Every time I looked at him, a frenzy of butterflies went haywire inside me. I went up to him, and he stretched his arms open, pulling me close.
“Look at you,” he breathed in my hair. “My baby. I’m so proud of you.”
I picked my head up, and he dropped a kiss on my cheek. When he opened his arms, I turned to Lora and Miss Cane.
“Congrats, chick,” Lora sighed over my shoulder as she hugged me. I squeezed her back and then handed my flowers to Cane, nabbing Chance out of Miss Cane’s arms. My adorable baby smiled at me when I cooed to him, like he was just as proud of me as everyone else.
“Your mama made it, little baby,” I sang, nuzzling my nose on his cheek. “Yep, I’m going to use this degree to take care of you and show you that anything is possible!”
Chance made an innocent noise and my eyes watered up, filling with warm tears. His little hand grabbed my cheek, but before the dam could break, I hugged him to my chest and rubbed his back.
“What do you say we eat at my place?” Cane asked. “All of us,” he offered, focusing on my parents. “I ordered food from a good friend of mine who is catering food from his Italian restaurant.”
“Sure. Sounds good,” Dad agreed with a head bob.
When we got home, the Italian food was already waiting for us, set up on Cane’s large dinner table. We all ate and celebrated. Lora filled me in on her wedding planning. Granted, she always had an update about it, but I didn’t mind. She was doing a great job, and I’d much rather spend my time with the baby. The color scheme was going to be gold, beige, and ivory, and I couldn’t wait to see it all come together.
I would be going for my first dress fitting in just a few weeks, but I still had a few pounds to shed before then.
It was getting surreal. In exactly four months, I was going to be a bride—and not just any bride: Quinton Cane’s bride. That alone was special. I looked up at my fiancé and grinned as he held Chance. As if he felt my eyes, he picked his head up and smiled right back at me.
“I love you,” he mouthed.
“I love you more,” I mouthed back.
Nineteen
KANDY
One thing I loved was that no matter the circumstances, my parents visited as often as they could. Unless Dad had to work late, they were always there and always hogging Chance.
Mom constantly came bearing new gifts, like bottles and clothes and even playsets. She loved spoiling him. They loved their grandson so much and had definitely put their differences with Cane behind them for the most part.
“I know I say it all the time, but he’s perfect,” Mom said while we all sat in the den. She was holding Chance, watching him sleep.
“He seriously is,” Lora agreed. “I love his chunky little face.”
Miss Cane and Mom hummed in agreement while Dad and Cane sipped their beers.
“Oh, Kandy, I found the perfect decorations for the arch,” Lora said, coming to sit next to me. “I don’t want to show you just yet. I want you to be surprised, but just know it is going to be amazing!”
“I really love how you are handling everything for the wedding. Seriously, with Chance and schoolwork, I don’t think I would have had time to do much of anything as far as planning it.”
“You sure? I feel like I’m being an overbearing bitch.” Lora’s voice was playful, but in her eyes I could tell she was really worried that she was overstepping.
“No—not at all. I swear. You run your ideas by me, and I agree or disagree. I like that! Also makes me feel less stressed.”
“I like that you’re doing it too,” Mom chimed in. “Knowing Kandy, she would have just gone to the courthouse and gotten it over with. She needs something special.”
“Same with Cane, and I wasn’t having it!” Lora declared. “I got your back, Mrs. Jennings. This wedding is going to be one for the books.”
“Is wedding planning something you’d like to pursue for a career?” Dad asked. “Totally fits you, with all the wild hair colors and your go-getter mentality.”
“Hmm…I don’t know. I do like decorating things and piecing stuff together, but I’m looking at this as more of a hobby thing. It’s fun, but doing it for real means I’d have to deal with bridezillas, and I’m not up for that shit.”
Dad laughed. “I guess I can understand that.”
“You’d probably give an annoying bride a black eye right before her wedding day,” Cane joked.
I snickered at that one. “I definitely see that happening,” I teased, nudging her with my elbow.
Lora simply shrugged. “Hey, it is what it is. I’m a bitch with an attitude.”
I really was happy having Lora do most of the handy work. All I had to do was say “Yes” or “No” to her options, and she was handling the rest. She and Cane were setting up the guest list, but I did tell her to add two people to it that I hadn’t seen in years, as well as Frankie and Clay, if he wanted to tag along with her. Lora, Mom, Miss Cane, and I were going to spend a day trying on a collection of dresses I’d picked out at a local boutique, and I was super excited about it because it was something hands-on I could do, and one step closer to the big day.
* * *
Later that night, when my parents left to go home and Cane and I were in our room with Chance, Cane brought something up that I was not expecting.
“You know what?” he asked.
“What?”
“There’s been something that has been bothering me for a wh
ile now. It’s almost like you’ve forgotten about it, or let it go, but I still think about it,” he said, and his eyes had changed, his face slightly more serious. “It comes to mind at least once a week for me.”
“What is it?” I asked, bringing Chance over my shoulder to burp him.
“Well, the shit that happened at Notre Dame, with you losing your scholarship because of the people who ratted us out…”
“Oh, God.” I groaned and closed my eyes for a split second. I hated reliving that horror. “I haven’t forgotten about that. Trust me,” I mumbled.
“But you damn sure don’t talk about it.” Cane extended his arms, reaching for Chance. I lowered him, carefully shifting him from my arms to his dad’s. Cane cuddled him into his chest and rubbed his back to get him to burp, and there was always something about that gesture that made me all fuzzy and warm on the inside. Chance burped and his eyes drooped. Cane rocked him softly, putting his focus back on me.
“I don’t like thinking about that for a reason, Cane. When I do, I just get angry all over again. I used to constantly wish I could go back in time to stand my ground a little more, you know? I guess I just felt like I had no options back then; I didn’t want you outed or your reputation ruined. If it happened right now, I would absolutely call them out.”
Cane sighed. “Well, you know how I am, and you know it’s hard for me to let shit go.” He looked me in the eyes, and that look alone—the one where his eyes turned a slight shade darker and his eyebrows were drawn together—said it all. He’d done something that he knew I wouldn’t be pleased to know.
“Oh, no. Cane, what did you do?” I straightened my back and he looked away, turning with Chance in his arms.
“It’s not that bad,” he mumbled. “Not harsh enough, really.”
“Just spit it out.”
He faced me again, exhaling. “Okay, look. When that shit happened, you were so upset, and I’d never heard you get so mad at me before. You’d never called me and broken down like that—or even talked to me that way. It was years ago, honestly, and I didn’t want to tell you because I did what I did out of anger…”
“What did you do?” I demanded.
“Kandy, that school let you take all the flack for what happened between us, which was fucking personal and happened off campus. And what really pissed me off was that they didn’t contact me about what happened to confirm it, and they didn’t even give you a fair chance to stay, and you worked your ass off for that scholarship. It was all some made-up, textbook bullshit about school conduct, and to be honest, they played favorites. You were new, and not many people knew you, but they knew the kids who ratted on you very well, knew they were good at the sports they played, and they chose their side. I looked into those kids, and the girl was a big player on your team, and the boy, Brody,” he gritted through clenched teeth, “he was a good football player. They chose their athletes over standard.”
“Oh my gosh, Cane. Seriously, what are you getting at?” I pushed up on my knees as he turned for the bassinet, placing Chance inside it carefully. Chance was fully asleep now, his little mouth hanging wide open like he worked a nine-to-five job.
“Look, I called your mom around the time it’d happened and asked her if she could look into the board hearing, the coach, and those students. Mindy didn’t hesitate. She was still fired up about it, and she knew you weren’t going to act on it, so she took matters into her own hands.” He lowered his gaze, drawing in a slow breath. “Let’s just say your mother is a damn good lawyer.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…for her to only make one simple threat with big words, and for the board to actually take it seriously and to follow through, she’s damn good. She listened to that hearing, looked into the school’s code of conduct, and she talked to a few of your former teammates. Several of them said Sophie was not nice to you at all. She insisted that your former teammate and that boy were bullying you, and their first rule in their code of conduct is to treat everyone as their neighbor, and to not shun those whom are different. Basically, the school is supposed to have a zero tolerance policy on bullying, and your coach didn’t think to mention that when she gave her testimony. Your mom said she wanted the coach fired and the girl and the boy to have their scholarships revoked too, and if the school refused, she guaranteed she would make a spectacle out of it . Of course it was an empty threat, because she didn’t want to drag you through any more hell, but she sure as shit made it feel real.”
“Wow.” I was so shocked to hear that. “Wait…when did all of this even happen? You weren’t close with my parents anymore after I got kicked out.”
“It was back when your parents and I weren’t on very good terms. I called, and she picked up the phone. It was the day when you didn’t tell them where you were after the school kicked you out. I told her you were fine, and when I told her you didn’t deserve what they’d done to you, she agreed. She went on a rant about it, saying she wanted to do something. So we talked about it…and she took action. She clearly told me she wasn’t doing this for me, but that it was for you. She kept me updated, though, and I was glad to hear something had happened a few months later. So much was happening to us, and it never felt like the right time to tell you what we did. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it but never could remember when it was an appropriate time.”
My mind was boggled. I couldn’t believe this. “So Brody and Sophie lost their scholarships?”
“Brody’s got revoked, and Sophie was pulled from the team and expelled. She can’t even say she has a degree from Notre Dame. I don’t think anything is worse than that.”
“Oh my God, Cane.” My words came out winded. I climbed off the bed. “You did that?” I didn’t know whether to be really fucking happy and glad my man had my back, or upset because he may have possibly ruined their lives. I wasn’t a spiteful person. I believed Karma would do her job, so I left it alone. That was how I found peace in that situation.
“I couldn’t leave it alone. And technically, your mom was the one who got it all in motion. She looks out for you a lot more than you realize. She always has.”
I lowered my head, blinking my tears away.
“I normally keep a level head when it comes to things like that, but when it comes to you, I lose it. I never want to see you hurt, and if there is a way I can safely and legally give payback, trust me, I will.” He grabbed my hands and brought them up to his lips to kiss them. “That goes for you and my son.”
He pulled me in for a hug, and I closed my eyes, hugging him back. “I’m going to end up marrying a madman.”
He belted out a hearty laugh, and with my ear to his chest, I could hear the laughter and steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “A madman who loves you.”
“I guess I don’t talk about it because it’s in the past. I can’t change anything now, so it’s pointless to even get upset about it anymore. What they did was wrong…but it led me to you again.”
“Yeah, but at a cost. And if it hadn’t been for me going there, it never would have happened.”
“I don’t want to think like that. If you hadn’t come, we wouldn’t be where we are now.” I pulled away, looking toward the soft-green bassinet. “We wouldn’t have Chance.”
Cane looked with me and sighed. “No,” he murmured with a smile. “I suppose we wouldn’t.”
Twenty
CANE
Time went by effortlessly, every moment of it unforgettable. Of course, there were tough days. Kandy was raising the baby and was new at the whole mom thing. I didn’t know shit about being a dad, so I winged as much of it as I could. Still, my son and Kandy were my number one priority. Their happiness was important to me, and I made sure they were content at all costs.
Chance was something else. I loved that kid so much more than I had loved anyone in this world. Don’t get me wrong—I loved Kandy, and I loved my family, but those were two different kinds of loves. My love for Chance felt…unreal, so to speak. I mean, th
ere were nights when I looked at him and wondered how I was so lucky to have him. After everything I’d done and all I’d been through, I couldn’t believe that the result was this beautiful boy, who I knew I didn’t deserve.
My son was a ray of light in my world, just like his mother was to me. My son gave me even more purpose than before. I had so many plans for him, like how I’d be at every practice and every game I could attend when he started playing sports. I would support him 100 percent, no matter what I had going on in my life or at work. He was everything to me, and after having him, it was hard picturing a life without the little man.
Before I knew it, September had arrived, the day before Kandy’s bachelorette party. I had many male friends and colleagues but refused to have a bachelor party. I wasn’t up for it. I would have rather worked than have to awkwardly watch a stripper take her clothes off, desperate for attention that I didn’t want to give.
Lora wouldn’t let up for Kandy, though. She wanted her to have a spa day at a nice hotel, so she’d booked it way in advance. I specifically told my sister no strippers or dancers. I meant that shit, too. No man was about to come around my future wife, swinging his dick in her face.
I had to admit, though, Lora had done a great job with the set-up of the wedding. It was going to be held at our house, in the back yard, with all of our loved ones around. As I walked around, noticing the bouquet of flowers in certain corners and splashes of gold everywhere, it hit me that this was really, really happening. In less than forty-eight hours, I was going to be marrying the love of my life. Something about that choked me up, and not in a bad way.
Mama decided to give Kandy a break, so she took Chance for a walk. There were people in the house, setting up for the wedding, but with Lora driving all around the city in preparation for it, as well as Kandy’s bachelorette day tomorrow, we were alone for the first time in a while. Walking upstairs, I rounded the corner to get to our bedroom.
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