“What would you like, Jon?” I ask, sitting across the table from him. I thought I kind of liked Carter before, now I knew he was a great addition. He found a way to dry the pelts from Jo’s hunting, and we have some extra little blankets to keep us warm. With as cold as each day gets, the extra warmth was great for us. Our saw hasn’t had any rest in a while, so we always have a fire going in the cabin. Jon is always outside finding more wood for us and keeping me warm all the time. All things considered, we’re warm and healthy. The only problem is that we’re really bored.
I want to change that though, and with Christmas coming up quickly, I think everyone would feel much better if they have some presents to look forward to. “So what is it? What would you like?”
Jon is breathing deeply over a steaming cup of coffee, blinking and thinking.
“I know what he wants,” says Caitlyn. She walks over to him, and croons her neck forward so that she can look in his eyes. “Hmmm…” she says. “I think you want… a tree-house!”
Carter laughs at this. “Did you read that in his mind?”
“Uh-huh,” my sister replies.
“Caitlyn, we like to call that projection. In reality, you want a tree-house so you can work on shooting arrows from up high, but since it’s Jon’s turn to pick, you want to believe that he wants it, too.”
“No. Jon wants a tree-house, so we can hunt from it.” she says firmly, frowning at Carter.
Now Jon laughs. “I’ve made my decision, and I would like a tree-house.”
“Really? Yay!” exclaims Caitlyn, turning back to Jon.
He shakes his head. “No, I’m just kidding.” Caitlyn's head sinks. “Anything? How about some chocolate. Or at least some fruit.”
“Oh my gosh,” continues Jo. “A chocolate banana split sundae? I’d die for one.”
“So you’re telling me in the middle of a cold winter, for Christmas, you would like a cold dessert?” asks Carter, half through a chuckle. “Well we already have the fireplace and blankets, but to complete my Christmas wish, we’d need a TV. I used to love watching movies at night next to the fireplace with my family.”
“Ok Caitlyn, now it’s your turn. What would you like for Christmas?”
Caitlyn tries to purse her lips, but the smile that she’s holding back comes through. “A tree-house.”
Jon almost spits his coffee out from how quickly his laughter erupts. I think I’m laughing more at his face than I am at my sister.
“Well I would like a puppy,” I say after the chuckles have died down. “Even just to pet for a little bit. That’s what I’d want for Christmas this year.”
As everyone sits around the table dreaming about other things that Christmas might have brought them this year, I decide that these presents need to happen. The tree-house is easy enough. Carter just has to build one. Maybe Jon will help Carter. They have gotten along this week. I need to think about the other ones some more.
Carter stands up and stretches. He must be going back outside to light a fire and maybe do some more work on what started as a fire pit and oven has several benches and tables. If he keeps working on it like this, it'll have a roof by the time spring comes around. Now is a good a time as any to see if he’ll help me with my Christmas ideas.
“Where are you going?” I ask cheerfully.
“Just outside. I think the only thing that would be better than being able to roast these deer and rabbits would be if we could roast them inside. If I can get that oven covered it will make some of the cooking easier.”
“I’ll help!”
He smiles. “Well you’d better get bundled up! We might be out there for a while.”
I hurry to gather my jacket and a scarf. Without gloves, we’ve just been wrapping my hands in towels or others’ scarves and making sure a fire is always going. Between Carter and Jon, we always have a good supply of wood.
While lashing some more tripods together next to the fire pit, already blazing, I start my sales pitch. “So what is your next project going to be?”
He sits for a minute, and looks around the side property for a moment. “I’m not sure,” he concludes. “Maybe I’ll build a shed. We could get some of the clutter out of the cabin itself.”
“What if… we built a tree house for Caitlyn instead?” “What?” he asks while laughing. “I'm sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. But you’re serious, huh?”
“Yeah! Why not?”
He pauses again, this time, tipping his head and raising his brow at the end. “You’re right. We don't have long till Christmas so it'll be more of a platform, but sure, why not? ”
“Really? Great!” That was easier than I thought. “Well, I’m kind of thinking that we should try to make everyone’s gift happen. Can you help me?”
“I’ll tell you what, let me look at my calendar to see if I have any pressing appointments.” Carter mimes an agenda in his hand and scanned through an imaginary calendar. With a shake of the head, he closes his imaginary book, and he looks back up at me. “Well, I’m clear until January. Let’s brainstorm while we finish the little spit!”
While we strip some knobs off of some straight, thick branches, we talk about what everyone had mentioned and come up with suitable substitutes for their presents. I’m just waiting for when Carter will ask what I’m going to do for his present; I don’t have an answer yet.
“The tree-house is easy enough. Jon and I can put one together, even if it’s rudimentary,” he says glancing between random points in the air as he thinks. “The chocolate, however, will be much more difficult. What did Jon say? At least some fruit?”
“Uh-huh,” I say, with a proud smile creeping across my face. “I know exactly what to do. Caitlyn and I found some berries on a walk with Jo a few weeks ago.”
“Oh did you? What kind of berries?” asks Carter with a little suspicion.
“Let’s go look! It’s not far.” Just a few minutes later, Carter and I are inspecting the bush that Jo, Cait, and I had found near the end of one of our walks.
“Aha! Do you know what these are?”
“No…”
“These are elderberries. They’re everywhere, they’re edible, and,” he pauses to pop one in his mouth, “they’re delicious.”
I smile. We found Jon’s present. “Can I try one?”
“Sure. Have a few.” Carter pulls a small stem of the berries off of the plant and hands it to me.
“Now what about Jocelyn?” I ask as I pull my first elderberry off of the twig.
“Well, if you let me use some of these, I’ll take care of that. In the meantime, I’m going to teach you how to carve so you can make a bowl for Jon’s present.”
We hurry home and finish the second cooking spit. Carter also enlists Jon’s help with the tree-house. He never asked about his present…
This will be the tricky part. I have to get the other three to help me with a skit for Carter without them thinking about their own gifts. I just have to avoid the subject of Christmas.
While the boys are out wood-working, I get Jocelyn and Caitlyn to sit down.
“Ok,” I begin, clasping my hands together. “Remember when he said he used to watch movies with his family in front of the fireplace? We should surprise him one night and put on a play for him!”
“Aren’t you thoughtful?” says Jo, smiling. “Let’s do it.” Caitlyn does not look as excited.
Well that was much easier than I thought it would be, too. Now I just have to make sure that the skit is ready around whenever we celebrate Christmas.
* * *
“Wake up, Sara. Guess what day it is?” Jo gently shakes my shoulder. It doesn’t take long for my drowsy brain to figure out the answer to her question. Instantly, I’m grinning ear to ear and shooting up in bed.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!” I yell. I hop out of bed and skip around the room with Caitlyn in my wake. She’s this excited and she doesn’t even know about her present yet. She hasn't acted this giddy in a while. The third time we lap
the room, we stop in front of the calendar that Jon carved and wait for him to move the nail from December twenty-fourth to the twenty-fifth.
“Jon, can we show her?” I ask.
Jon smiles and looks at Carter, who is also smiling. “Sure! But we have something for you first.”
I stop hopping around and look at everyone. They’re all looking at me with big smiles, too. “What’s going on?”
Carter answers. “We didn’t want you to be left out of all the gift giving. Everyone get warm. We’re going outside.”
Oh no, did they all figure out what their presents are? I’m a little nervous as I put on my jacket and scarf and pull my blanket off the bed. I’m the last to go outside.
The minute I look up once I’m out the door my grin comes right back. Our front yard has four different snow-sculptures of puppies.
“They’re so cute!” I yell. I jump to the nearest one and look right in its eyes, and I extend my hand to pet him. He has two different sized acorns as eyes, and a piece of rope around his neck for a collar. Each time I pet him, a few flakes of snow come with my hand and blow in the gentle gusts. They must have woken up late last night and done this.
“Thank you all so much!” I don’t know how to express how grateful I am. For the first time, I realize how much I love them all.
“Ok, my turn!” says Caitlyn, with bursting anticipation. “Jon, you said you had something for me, right?”
Jon laughs. “I did. We have to take a little walk though. Come with me.”
As we walk into the trees, I jump onto Jon's back and he carries me up the slope. Jo starts singing “Winter Wonderland,” and Carter joins in. Soon, we’re all singing, and I turn around to look at everyone’s faces. The only thing that seems out of place is how Jon keeps looking back and forth between Jo and Carter. It was no secret that those two have spent a lot of time together. Jon still wasn't sure about it and there had been some arguments.
“…but as long as you love me so…”
“Alright, alright, a new one,” says Jon, bringing the carol to an abrupt halt. “Frosty, the Snowman…” he starts, and we all follow suit. I could tell Carter was a little irritated.
The tree-house isn’t that far into the woods, and we approach it quickly. As it comes into view, Caitlyn’s excitement and astonishment comes on, but slowly.
“No…” she begins. “You guys didn’t! Yay!” Her enthusiasm turns into a shriek of glee. I jump off Jon's back and I run with her over to the foot of the host tree where a few rungs of thick sticks lead to the first platform. There are only two medium-sized platforms and only one has a roof of any sort, but Jon and Carter did an amazing job.
For a moment, as Caitlyn and I play, I feel like I’m back in our old living room, pretending to be running around a castle. I look back and see Jon watching us. On his face, there’s a new kind of smile: a genuine smile that I don’t think I’ve seen yet. It's my favorite one. Behind him, Carter and Jo are throwing snowballs at each other. One connects, and it startles Jon out of his pleasant daydream.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough of that,” he says, turning around slowly.
Carter is still laughing. “Okay. It’s time for your present anyway.”
“My present?” asks Jon, surprised.
“Yep. And yours, too,” replies Carter, addressing Jo.
“Really?” asks Jo, with a pleasant grin spreading across her face.
I can’t wait to surprise Carter after these, and my anticipation makes the walk home seem even faster than the walk to the tree-house.
“This is for you,” I say to Jon, having poured a can of frozen elderberries into the wooden bowl that I carved.
“And this is for you,” adds Carter as he hands a cup to Jo. He had poured elderberry juice into a cup that he fashioned and filled with snow. It’s no sundae, but it is a cold, fruity dessert.
Both of them take their first bites and close their eyes, savoring the flavors that were at least near something that they’ve been craving for a month. They hold those bites in their mouths for a really, really long time, and when they open their eyes again, they look at each other with the most serene smiles.
“Now for you Carter,” I say. I wink at Jo and Caitlyn. We take him and Jon inside, sit them down on the floor with blankets next to the warm fire, and start our play.
We are going to survive this winter.
Chapter 24: Jocelyn
Jon had championed this past meal with more success from his garden. He made a stir-fry in a batch of oil that Carter had extracted from our soy beans. I’m grateful, because the meal tasted like heaven. I scrape the last of the carrot peels into the fire and finish stacking the plates. Tomorrow, I have to cook, and our short list of recipes jumps through my mind.
This summer has been good so far and as I look out the window and see Jon, Carter, and the girls, I begin to think that we could live like this forever. It has been nearly nine months since we first stepped into this cabin. I don't think I want to, but I know we can survive here ten more. I grab A Tale of Two Cities and lie face up on the bed. I plan to use the last bit of sunlight finishing my book. I finish a page, but I soon feel my foot being shaken. I look up and see Carter at the foot of my bed.
“Hey, let's go for a walk.” Usually I relish any time with Carter, but I’m really looking forward to doing some nothing. We work so hard during the summer day and to simply sit and read is ecstasy. I fold the corner of the page and put it on the bed between my legs.
“Fine.” I exhale with a smile.
We start to walk along the path headed to the lake. Jon gives a small wave to us and then continues helping Caitlin aim at a haystack with a bull’s-eye painted on it. She already has three arrows in the center. Caitlin has really mastered archery and Jon is doing his best to make her the best she can be. I think she is teaching him a few things as well. Sara still seems hesitant about the prospect of hunting animals, so instead she just wants to talk Jon's ear off. Her infatuation with him has grown a lot these months. It makes the three of us smile.
Carter leads me further along until we are down by the lake. The sun is setting and we won't have too much time out here. Jon doesn't like wasting batteries if we don't have to. He's right of course.
A log looks perfectly placed besides the lake. We both have a seat, and I look over into his brown eyes. I can't help but get lost in them sometimes. Ever since he came out of nowhere in the fall, I couldn't imagine life without him.
He looks back at me. “What is the tension sometimes between you and your brother? When things get too serious you become distant. I understand his and my tension, but not yours.”
“It's been like that for a few years.” I try to avoid a direct response. “And actually you haven't seen the worst of it. It's a long story.”
“Good thing we have a half an hour before the sun goes down. Luckily, I have no upcoming appointments.”
There's no way around it. Carter should know anyway. I bite my lip and begin:
“It was almost three years ago. I was thirteen at the time. He was a bit more outgoing, to say the least, than I was in high school. He went out many times with his friends and stumbled in a drunken mess occasionally. Mom and I usually covered for him as best we could with dad whenever this happened. Dad would have killed him. Then mom pretty much blackmailed him into driving me to gymnastics and everything else. In retrospect, I guess we should have tried more to stop it. Mom thought he would get sick and learn a lifelong lesson. Well the lesson came, but it wasn't because he got sick.”
Should I even be telling this story at all? I look back at Carter, and he’s sitting there, attentive. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded. He’s blinking infrequently, and patiently. I can’t just stop now.
“It was around two in the morning and he still wasn't home one Friday night and he wasn't answering his phone. Mom and I were out looking for him, worried; I had refused to go to bed until my mom did. We had no luck at his
usual spots in the park and decided to just wait at home. As we were pulling into the driveway, they hit us. His friend’s pickup truck crushed our small white compact. His friend, who shouldn't have been driving, slammed into the driver's side of the vehicle. Glass shattered; steel twisted. My mom was pinned and bleeding badly, and I was covered in glass but mostly okay. I saw my brother stumble out of the passenger’s side of the car. He screamed and then ran inside the house.”
I pause for a moment, remembering what that panic felt like.
“Dad heard the crash and was running outside. He worked early on weekends so he had been in bed at 8. On his way out he saw Jon curled in a ball and crying. My dad asked him if he was okay. The shame on my brother’s face and the stench of alcohol answered my father. I know the look he gave still haunts Jon. My father ran outside and pulled me out of the car and tried his best to help mom. He stayed with her until the firefighters showed up. She…she died while they were trying to get her out.”
I feel my eyes slowly water. I have thought about that day a lot over the past few years. It should be commonplace to me by now. “Needless to say, our family's relationship with my brother has been strained ever since. Jon has tried everyday to make up for what he did, but that is not something that is easily made up.”
Carter finally spoke, “My God, I can't imagine...”
“That's not the end of it either, I guess. Three days after that I found him in his room with a gun on his lap. I have no idea where he had gotten the silver revolver but I still shake when I think of the image. Beside him was a note. I was able to talk him down and took the gun off of him. He has been weird about guns ever since, because I think he was going to do it. If I wouldn't have gone into his room to look for any more pictures of mom, I think he really would have shot himself.”
Carter nods.
“I took the gun to the police station and said I found it in the park. This didn't endear me to him any more than the last event. He became less my brother and more a nuisance that must be put up with daily. But he tried so hard everyday, especially with my dad. He never touched alcohol anymore and aside from a few after school activities he never had a social life. Jon devoted himself to make either his sister's or dad's lives better in anyway. He was going to sacrifice himself for the rest of his life. I found it in me to slowly forgive him, but dad never forgot. So when the plague came, one small relief was the assurance that Jon would always be there, he knows nothing else by now. He would give his life just so I don't feel sadness.”
Humanity Gone: After the Plague Page 10