“I can’t officially condone using the Senior Center as a day care. And you’d have to make your own arrangements for the evenings. We can’t have children sleeping here, orphans or not,” she said. “But I suppose if Reggie brings a few kids here of his own accord and some of the others happen to help out, well, I wouldn’t stop it.”
“That’s great,” I said. “Even a few hours a day would help.” Having Reggie and the other seniors involved would make a big difference. If Mrs. Templeton had been a sweet old woman, I would have hugged her in gratitude.
Reggie grinned. “It’s the right thing to do, Hazel.”
“Now, don’t go making me change my mind,” she said.
Later that night, Cam watched me try to scrub TK with a damp washcloth as he wriggled on his changing pad.
“Don’t you have a bathtub?” she asked.
“Yes, down the hall. But it’s too big for a baby.”
“I could sit and hold him in the tub while you wash him. He would get cleaner.”
“You’re right. That would be a big help.”
“I love bubble baths,” she said.
“Let’s wash TK first, then you can have bubbles. He might try to eat them.”
She giggled.
Once TK was clean, I offered her a choice of bubble bath scents. “Tangerine or strawberry?”
“Ooh. Strawberry is my favorite.”
I poured some under the running water.
“It’s turning the water pink!” she said. “My favorite color.”
Cam stayed in the tub until her fingers wrinkled. I found a fuchsia T-shirt in the back of my closet for her to sleep in.
“Where’s my bed?”
Carrying TK, I led her to the guest room where she would sleep.
“Where’s your bed?” she asked.
“Down the hall.”
She sniffled.
“This is a pretty bed, don’t you think?”
More sniffling.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“It’s beige. And it’s too lonely in here. I’m all by myself.”
I sighed. Of course she didn’t want to be alone. The poor kid had been through a lot. I should have realized that. “Let’s go in my room and think about it,” I said. “TK needs his bottle.”
She sat on my bed next to me, swinging her legs while I fed the baby.
“Where does TK sleep?”
I pointed at his nearby playpen, sensing where she was going with this.
“The baby gets to sleep in here. It’s not fair.”
“You’re right.” Once TK was comfortable in his playpen, I dragged a small loveseat from my parent’s room into mine. It made long scrapes in the wooden planks, but the condition of the hallway floor didn’t matter much these days. I tucked sheets on the mini-couch the best I could and found a soft blanket in the closet.
“Better?”
“Yes.” She held her hands behind her back. “And guess who’s here?”
“Who?”
“Milkshake!” She displayed the stuffed cow proudly. “I packed him with my clothes.”
“Good thinking.” I tucked her in. “The bathroom’s down the hall if you need it, remember?”
“Uh huh.”
“I’ll leave the hall light on in case you wake up.”
“OK.”
“Goodnight, Cam. Goodnight, Milkshake.”
“Goodnight.” Her voice was thick with sleep.
I waited until her breathing was steady before tiptoeing to Dad’s office. I called Dad’s cell, then Mom’s. No answer from either of them. I crawled into bed a few minutes later, wide awake.
Spring rain pattered against my window, a comforting sound, and finally weariness set in. I peeked at TK and Cam sleeping soundly nearby. We were nice and cozy in my room, like a nest of mismatched birds. I tried not to think about how many predators attacked defenseless chicks or about how vulnerable we were on our own.
Had it only been a day since Jay slept over? I wondered if Kayla had finally gone home, and if he was awake and alone now, afraid like me. I drifted into an uneasy sleep with thunder rumbling in the distance.
An hour later, a loud boom jolted me awake. The electricity flickered once, twice, then died completely.
CHAPTER 22
Whether in 1918 or today, I have to believe the main worry during a pandemic is the same: concern for our loved ones. We may have cell phones, email, and texting now, but in the end, we just want our children to survive.
—Blue Flu interview, a Delaware mother
I was too old to be afraid of the dark, but the sudden blackness took my breath away. I rummaged around blindly in my nightstand drawer the looters had skipped. Ever since the Mr. B incident, I’d been sleeping with a flashlight in there. Fear had its benefits for once.
Somehow TK and Cam didn’t wake during the storm. I made my way by flashlight to the hall closet to retrieve the big battery-powered lantern. In my sleepiness, it took a full minute to process the empty shelves, to remember that the light had been stolen.
Worried and annoyed, I climbed back into bed. If I turned the flashlight off, the utter darkness disconcerted me, but I didn’t want to waste the batteries. Finally, I raised the window shade a little, letting some moonlight peak through.
When a grayish sunlight filtered through the house on Saturday morning, the power was still out. After several minutes of searching, I found an old utilities bill in Dad’s desk and used my cell phone to call the number listed. Once I navigated through the automated menu to report the outage, I received prerecorded bad news: “Due to the high rate of employee absenteeism, we are experiencing longer than usual delays in handling power outage problems. We appreciate your patience during this difficult time. Press one if you would like a courtesy call when power to your area is restored.”
Shit.
I did not press one. Instead, I tried calling Mom, then Dad. How many hours had passed since our last conversations? Neither answered. I stood there, immobilized, until TK woke up crying, which woke up Cam, who couldn’t figure out where she was. She screamed when I came into the room. TK cried even louder.
“You slept here last night, remember?” I rocked TK, sitting on the edge of Cam’s makeshift bed and rubbing her back. “You helped give the baby a bath.”
Her bottom lip jutted out and she inhaled a shaky breath. “I want to go home,” she said. “I want my mom.” Saying the words released a floodgate of tears.
I patted her back, trying not to cry again, too. Parents were hard to come by these days. Finally, her sobs settled into a few last sniffles.
Reggie called my cell phone while Cam ate dry cereal and TK slurped down his bottle.
“We have electric at the Senior Center,” he said. “Do you want me to bring the kids over after breakfast?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “Can you pick them up around eleven?”
“Can do, Miss Lil. See you later.”
“What are we doing today?” Cam asked after I’d hung up the phone.
“You’re going to visit the place where we picked up TK yesterday. Lots of grandmas and grandpas stay there. They can’t wait to see you.”
She stirred her cereal with her spoon. “Will there be more cookies?”
“If you eat breakfast,” I said, feeling about forty years old. It was an effort to act mature, but I had to hold it together for TK and Cam. It made me proud and weary at the same time.
After TK was fed, burped, and changed, Cam got dressed. She put on an orange T-shirt, purple leggings, yellow socks, and finished off the look with a wide red hair tie.
“You look like a rainbow,” I said as she preened.
Her smile disappeared.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, holding TK in my arms.
“I’m missing green and blue. I can’t be a rainbow without green and blue.”
“Right.” I read once that patience was like a muscle you could strengthen over time. Mine was definitely getti
ng a workout.
It took fifteen minutes, but after more searching in my closet by flashlight, we found some colored bangle bracelets that made her happy.
“I’ll do a rainbow dance!” Twirling around, she chanted, “Rainbow, rainbow, rainbow.” She stopped, surveying my black outfit with her critical six-year-old eye. “You,” she said, “are missing the rainbow feeling.”
I slipped on Megs’s silver necklace with the pearl. “Better?”
She sighed. “One rainbow will be enough.”
When Reggie knocked on the door, I checked out the side window before opening it. I doubted looters would knock first, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
“I rang the bell a few times before I realized it needed electricity,” he said.
“Yeah, I keep flipping light switches out of habit. Let’s hope the power outage doesn’t last long.”
“Everything will work out,” Reggie said with his usual optimism.
Reggie pulled out of the driveway with Cam and TK, passing Jay as he walked toward my house. I sat on my front step and waited for him, trying not to stare as he approached. He wore a brown T-shirt and jeans—very casual—but somehow he still looked good.
“Hey,” he said.
“No kids in tow?”
“My aunt’s off for the morning. And good news,” he said. “I tracked down the girls’ grandfather before losing the computer. He’s coming to get them.”
“That’s great.” If he could pretend everything was fine, I could, too.
“I would search for Cam and TK’s family but my phone’s about to die. That’s why I thought I’d walk over instead of calling.”
“Oh. I have an emergency hand crank radio that also charges cell phones. It’s one of the few useful things that the looters missed. You can borrow it if you want.”
He followed me into the house. I handed him the small box from its new hiding spot.
“I figured the looters wouldn’t look inside the microwave.” I gave him the list of TK’s phone numbers. “I tried calling, but I haven’t been able to reach anyone. Later we can ask Cam about her family. Maybe she knows some names. She has at least one uncle—that much I know.”
“I can use a reverse directory with TK’s phone numbers, things like that. What’s TK’s full name?”
“Tobias Kutchner Goodwin.”
“That’s some name.”
“I know.”
“You’ll have to show me how to use this,” he said, pointing at the charger.
I lit a few candles so we could see better in the dim kitchen. We hooked the charger up to his phone and took turns with the crank. The kitchen was quiet except for the cranking, which took longer than I expected. Our silence dragged. There were so many things to talk about, yet no easy way to start in on any of them.
“Do you think it’s a good sign that we haven’t gotten sick yet?” he asked after a while.
“Maybe. I did use some medicine. My dad had antiviral stuff, and after Megs . . . well, he told me to take it. I finished about half before the looters took the opened box. So that may have helped.”
“You’re lucky,” he said as his phone finished charging.
I shrugged, not feeling so fortunate. “My dad’s sick. I better check on him. I’ll use the phone upstairs.”
Jay shot me a concerned look, but I left the kitchen before he could say anything. I sat in Dad’s office with our old phone, the one with the cord that didn’t need electricity. I had the phone, a candle, and the hope that I’d make progress on where he was being treated. I tried Patient Services several times but kept getting a busy signal.
Next I tracked down a hospital near the hotel. There was no one available to answer my call there either. I thumped the desk in frustration, unsure about what to do next.
From downstairs, Jay let out a whoop.
“I think I found someone!”
“Really?” I blew out the candle and hurried to the kitchen.
“A woman in Connecticut. Do you want to call?”
“No, I’m too nervous.” I’d taken good care of TK, but what if they had been desperate to find him and were outraged that I took him from his home? Or what if they didn’t want him at all? “You call.”
“OK.” Someone answered and I hovered as he explained the situation. “Not me. My friend Lil has been caring for him 24/7. Here she is.”
I shook my head no, but he handed me the phone. “It’s TK’s grandmother,” he whispered.
“Is this Lil?” a woman asked.
“Yes.”
“Thank you.” Her voice cracked. “Thank you. We’ve lost so many people. To know that Tobias is thriving, it gives us hope. God bless you.”
My eyes started to tear. I turned from Jay so he wouldn’t see. “You’re welcome,” I said. “It’s nice to know he still has family around.”
Jay handed me a napkin. So much for hiding my emotions. I dabbed at my eyes.
“Can I come get him today?”
“Of course.” I hung up after we worked out the details.
“She’s coming to pick him up later,” I told Jay. “I should probably pack his things. I think I’ll actually miss the little guy.”
“You still have Cam.”
“True. Do you think she could stay with you when TK’s grandma arrives? I don’t want her to feel bad when his family comes.”
“Sure,” Jay said. “We can have Reggie drop her at my house. That’ll give me a chance to ask her about other relatives and search for her family, too.”
“I can’t believe you actually found TK’s grandmother. That’s the best thing that’s happened in days.”
We stood in the kitchen among the flickering candles, smiling at each other. I fought the urge to hug him. He stood close enough for me to reach out my arms to touch him. He moved closer, narrowing the space between us, and I wondered if he thought about holding me, too.
I shook it off. How could I be thinking about this in the middle of the awfulness? With Mr. B stopping by my house and my parents missing and all the deaths. I needed to get a grip.
And I needed to clear the air.
“About Ethan . . .” I started.
Jay’s posture stiffened.
“I didn’t want him to kiss me.”
“It’s not really any of my business. But why did you let him?”
“I couldn’t stop him. Everything happened so fast. I—”
With horror, I realized I could be describing Ethan or Mr. B. I clutched and unclutched my hands. They were raw from washing them so much lately.
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” he said.
“I think he did it to try to make you angry. I mean, not that you care, but—”
“How did it make you feel?”
I thought about it. “Uncomfortable. And sad.”
He nodded. “Kayla said you were complicated.”
“Oh?” I fought back the urge to find her and claw her eyes out.
“She said I should stay away from you. Romantically.”
“That’s funny, because she pretty much told me the same thing about you.”
“Will you?” he asked. “Stay away?”
I looked at the floor. “It . . . it feels like a betrayal to Megs.”
“You must miss her.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice.
“I did like chatting with her even if I thought it was you. But Megs and I never spoke in person, never really connected on that level.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Boxers,” he said.
I smiled. “Underwear preference aside, why were you using that chat site to meet someone? I mean, Megs has been around the same Portico guys since kindergarten, so going online gave her a chance to talk to new people. But you haven’t lived here that long. If you were looking to hook up—”
“I wasn’t looking for a quick hook up. You should know me better than that.”
“Should I?” I asked. “No deep dark secrets
?”
“Only one,” he said.
CHAPTER 23
In 1918, the Spanish Flu may have been transmitted from town to town by the mail carrier. Today, air travel accelerates the spread of highly contagious diseases. Any pathogen could travel to almost any country in two to three days. No place is safe.
—Blue Flu interview, renowned epidemiologist
Jay went home without answering my questions, without explaining what his secret might be. He seemed sheepish after bringing it up, looking at the ground, changing the subject.
We’d spent so much time together lately and talked about so many random things that it seemed like I knew him even better than Ethan. But maybe our closeness was only an illusion. After all, I hadn’t been exactly forthcoming about Mr. B with him. I couldn’t demand that he open up and bare his soul to me. I decided to put it out of my mind.
Once Jay left, I organized TK’s food, clothes, and baby stuff, making a pile by the front door. As we planned, Reggie dropped Cam off at Jay’s, then brought TK to me.
“Thanks for all your help,” I said. “Chauffeuring, babysitting, dealing with Mrs. Templeton, all of it.”
“No problem,” Reggie said. “Mrs. Templeton’s like a baked potato. Crispy on the outside, but mushy in the middle.”
I laughed. “Tell her I said thanks, too. I’ll probably keep Cam with me for the next few days. It’ll be lonely once TK’s gone.”
Reggie left quickly, so I could have a few moments with TK. His grandmother arrived too soon. She was a slightly hunched, thin woman, but she seemed healthy. She held TK close as we talked about the baby’s family and I explained how I found him. Then we moved on to more pleasant topics, like how well he was doing. Soon it was time to say good-bye.
I tearfully loaded the car with his baby gear. Giving TK one last kiss, I handed him over. His grandma took my information and promised to stay in touch.
“Thank you, Lil. For everything.” She gave me a cheerful wave good-bye.
After TK was gone, the afternoon had an unsettled air about it, like I’d forgotten something important. Maybe it was the lack of electricity or the loss of my routine. In my old life, I would have been studying. Maybe. Or I might have been watching TV or texting Megs. Now I needed to track down my parents. My texts still went unanswered.
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