“Just give me a second,” I said, forming a plan. I had to test and see if this really was my dad or not.
“I can’t believe you’re talking about expelling me after all the bonding we’ve been doing lately,” I said.
“What?” Master Dreadthorn asked.
“I mean, after you gave me that birthday present a few months ago, I thought for sure our relationship was, you know, getting stronger, Dad.”
Okay, I was laying it on a little thick, but I had to know for sure if this was my dad.
“I don’t care about you,” he said. “That ridiculous present meant nothing. This is your last chance, Rune. You will go straight to my study. Now!”
“Sorry, can’t do that,” I said, and stepped forward until I was almost nose to nose with the Dread Master. “You didn’t give me a present, old man. And you’re ugly. And you’re a jerk. And you’re not real.”
I walked through the magical projection of my dad, and he disappeared.
“Whoa. That was dramatic,” Wolf said.
“No way. That was therapeutic!” I said. “I’ve wanted to tell him off like that for years. I might go back and do it again.”
“Later,” Dodge said. “First, we have to find Ileana’s dorm.”
The doors were before us. All of them looked exactly the same in the flickering green light of the torches—just wooden doors fastened to the surrounding stone of the cave hallway by sturdy iron hinges.
“So, uh, which one is Ileana’s?” Wolf asked as we followed Dodge down the corridor.
“She’s a princess. I found out the school had to make special arrangements for her to come here—added security,” Dodge said, rounding a corner and stopping in front of a door that was flanked by two stone gargoyles.
“Seriously?” I asked, feeling my school pride wavering. “We have to collect dragonfire from real live dragons, and they think a couple of stone statues are going to frighten us? Besides, that one looks like an old henchman of mine.”
I pointed to the gargoyle on the left whose doglike features reminded me of Cappy, my ogre-ish former henchman who only looked scary but was actually quite good with babies.
Beside me, Wolf stepped forward, reaching for the door handle, when suddenly his furry paw was zapped by some kind of magical current.
“Ouch!” he barked, pulling his paw back and licking at the charred fur.
“The gargoyles are not meant to frighten us away,” Dodge said. “They are magical guardians set to recognize Ileana’s blood. They will only admit the princess or someone who shares her blood.”
“You could’ve told me that sooner,” Wolf said, still licking his paw.
“Someone who shares her blood?” I asked. “What? Like her mom and dad?”
“Yes, or any other relative—a brother or sister, even.”
“Well, that’s it then,” I said, turning to Dodge. “Unless one of us is Ileana’s evil twin or something, I don’t think we’ll be going any farther.”
Something flickered behind Dodge’s hazel eyes. Amusement? But he didn’t say anything. Instead he pulled out a vial filled with a small amount of thick red fluid. It looked almost black in the dim light.
“Tell me that’s not what I think it is,” I said, backing away.
“Here.” Dodge shoved the vial of blood into my hand. “Once you’re inside, there’s a switch that deactivates the guardians’ shields, but be quiet! Don’t wake the princess.”
“And you got kicked out of Morgana’s for good behavior?” asked Wolf.
Dodge flashed him a familiar evil grin that was becoming his trademark.
I examined the vial in my hand, turning it in the firelight. As a rule, villains should not be freaked out by the sight of blood, but for some reason, it really churned my stomach. I held it gingerly, as if it were a poisonous snake.
“But how did you—”
“No time,” Dodge said, cutting me off. “Just go.”
He shoved me toward the door. Briefly, I wondered why Dodge didn’t just take the vial and go first, but he didn’t seem in the mood to talk about his strategy. So, armed with a vial of what I assumed was Ileana’s blood, I reached out for the door handle, slowly, ready to pull back if I felt even a tingle of the magical barrier.
I didn’t need to worry. My hand bypassed the barrier and made contact with the door handle. A moment later, I opened the door and stepped inside. For the first time in my life, I was in one of the girls’ dorm rooms. I wanted to savor the moment, but Dodge and Wolf were outside waiting. I could hear Dodge tapping his boot impatiently on the stone floor.
“Hurry up, Drexler,” he whispered.
I reached out my hand, ran it along the wall until I found the switch that deactivated the guardians. The guys joined me in the darkness.
“Now what?” Wolf whispered.
“Now you explain what you’re doing in my room,” a new voice said.
Chapter Six
Vanishing Villains
There was a sound of a match striking. I blinked at the brightness, and when my vision cleared I saw Princess Ileana staring at us, candle in hand.
“Is this part of the test, too?” I asked, thinking of the projection of my dad.
I reached out my fingers to see if Ileana was real, and she smacked my hand away.
“Ow! Guess not.”
“How did you even get past the guardians?” Ileana asked.
I just stood staring stupidly for a second, then I remembered the vial of blood. I quickly tucked it into my cloak pocket.
“A villain never reveals his secrets,” I said.
“That’s a magician, numbskull,” Ileana snapped, but she was smiling.
“Oh.”
“So, what are you doing here?” she asked.
“Rune needed a little cheering up,” Dodge said. “He’s upset about the vampire girl being transferred.”
“What!” I said. “I’m not upset about that. I was just surprised she didn’t even tell me.”
Talk about pouring salt in a wound. I thought this trip was supposed to help me forget about my girl troubles.
“It’s okay, Rune,” Ileana said. “I’m sure we all will, um, miss Jezebel.”
“Sincere. Very sincere,” Wolf said.
“Well, I didn’t know her that well, but …”
I didn’t hear what Ileana said next, though, because I was concentrating on Dodge. He was taking advantage of Ileana’s distraction. I noticed him casually moving behind her and rifling through her things—her bedside table, books on her shelves. He noticed me noticing, raised his finger to his lips, and motioned for me to keep talking.
“Rune? Are you even listening?” Ileana asked.
“Of course I am,” I said. “Uh, so, what do you think I should do?”
“Do?”
“About Jez. You know. You’re a girl. Should I, uh, send her a gift or something?” I glanced at Dodge. Again, he signaled for me to keep talking as he knelt next to Ileana’s bed and looked beneath it.
“You’ll have to do better than a gift. If you want to get a girl’s attention, you need to let her know you care about her interests. What is Jez interested in? Besides biting things and looking down her nose at everybody?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Uh—”
But I was saved, because just then Dodge rejoined us.
“Well, thanks, Ileana. I’ll try that. You’ve been a big help,” I said.
“But we didn’t even—”
“Talk tomorrow. Gotta get back to bed. Good night!” I said, pulling the others to the door and leaving a very confused and slightly annoyed princess behind.
When we returned to the hallway, I heard the faint buzzing sound of the barrier as it was reactivated.
“What was that all about?” I asked Dodge.
“Master Stiltskin,” he said.
“What?”
“Hello, boys,” a voice said.
I turned to see the bent, wrinkled form of Master Stiltskin standing a f
ew feet away from us. He was wearing some kind of old-fashioned nightgown and one of those weird nightcaps on his head. His beard trailed down almost to his feet, which were covered with fuzzy slippers. He looked like he’d just fallen out of a Mother Goose rhyme.
“What are you three doing here at this hour?” he wheezed.
“Um. Sleepwalking?” I said.
I expected us to get in some serious trouble, but Stiltskin just chuckled.
“Not to worry, Rune. Believe it or not, I was once a young villain, eager to prove myself to the villainesses.”
“What? No, that’s not what—”
“Now, no need for alarm. I won’t tell your father,” Stiltskin said with a wink. “But you should be careful, boys. Not every Master at this school would let you get away with this.”
No kidding. I don’t think any of the other school Masters would’ve let us get away with sneaking around the girls’ corridors. Did I mention Master Stiltskin wasn’t really very villain-ish? And that he actually seemed to like teaching kids?
“Wait. How did you get past all the traps?” I asked. I mean, let’s face it, Stiltskin wasn’t exactly in his prime.
“Get past them?” he asked, looking confused. “I just used the switch to deactivate them.”
“There’s a switch?” Wolf asked.
Beside him, Dodge pulled out the blueprint, examined it for a moment, then pointed at the paper and said, “Oh yeah!”
When he saw our faces he added, “Oh. Sorry.”
“Okay, boys. Off to bed now!” said Stiltskin.
We thanked him and ran all the way back to our rooms, grateful to have gotten off so easily.
“What was that all about?” I asked Dodge as soon as the door closed behind us. Wolf had gone back to his own room.
“Sorry, I didn’t see there was a switch until Stiltskin pointed it out,” he said, pulling off his boots.
“No, I mean before that.”
“Before?” he asked, changing into his pajamas. What? Villains can’t wear pajamas?
“All that poking around in Ileana’s room.” I put on my own PJs.
“Oh.” He looked away from me. “I just thought since we were there, I might as well snoop a little.”
“And? Did you find anything?”
“Um, just this,” he said, holding out a book and grinning.
“What’s that?” I asked, taking the book from him. It was Ileana’s diary.
“Wicked!” I said. We flipped through and read a few pages. When we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer, we fell asleep.
When I woke up, Dodge was gone. I figured I must’ve overslept again. Quickly, I dressed and dashed down to the cafeteria cave. Ileana was already there eating breakfast, and Wolf was in line getting his, but I didn’t see Dodge.
“Well?” Ileana asked as Wolf and I sat down next to her.
“What?” I asked.
The princess glared at me. She was wearing pink today and stuck out like a flamingo in a litter of cat-a-bats. Nobody would dare tease her, though. After she’d hexed a few bullies, most of the kids had learned Ileana was not a villain to mess with.
“Oh. I’m sorry for breaking into your room,” I said, shoving a big spoonful of Dreary-Os into my mouth.
“I thought villains didn’t apologize,” Wolf said with a smile.
“Shut it.” I jabbed him with my elbow and grinned.
“I wasn’t looking for an apology. I was looking for a certain stolen item. So?” asked Ileana.
I sighed and reached into my cloak and handed Ileana her diary back. She looked surprised, took it, and said, “Where is it, Rune?”
“Where’s what?” I asked, confused.
I started to think she was really mad at me or something. I exchanged glances with Wolf, but his ears were standing straight up and his doggy eyes were round and clueless.
“You know what!” she leaned forward, her blond curls falling over her shoulders as she poked me in the chest with her finger.
“No, I don’t!”
“Oh, I suppose it was just a coincidence that you broke into my room last night, and now Master Dreadthorn’s crystal just happens to be missing? It’s not funny, Rune!”
Wolf and I exchanged another confused glance.
“But—but we didn’t take it!” I said.
“That’s right,” Wolf said. “You were talking to us the whole time we were there.”
The princess narrowed her eyes at us.
Wolf flinched away and began lapping noisily at his milk.
I tried to look innocent. And even though I was innocent, I felt like I looked guilty. Then I realized trying to look too innocent might just make me look guiltier. I started to squirm and sweat a little.
“You look guilty,” Ileana said.
Cat-a-bats!
“I knew you were a villain,” Ileana said, getting up to dump her breakfast tray, “but I didn’t know you were a jerk, too! And to think I was trying to help you!”
“Hey, wait!” I said, but Ileana just stuck her tongue out at me and stormed off to class.
“Did you take the crystal?” I asked. “Come on. Fess up.”
“Not me,” Wolf Junior said. “I was with you the whole time. How’d you snag her diary?”
“I didn’t. Dodge did,” I said.
“He must’ve taken the crystal, too.”
“Yeah!” I said. “Where is he, anyway?” I looked around the cave, but Dodge was nowhere to be found.
“I haven’t seen him,” said Wolf.
“Great. Ileana left. Jez is gone. We can’t find Dodge. Who else could go missing?”
“Attention, students,” a familiar fake British accent came over the intercom. “I’m dreadfully sorry to announce that Master Dreadthorn cannot be found. If anyone knows anything about his whereabouts, please report it to your new principal, me, Mistress Morgana. I will be taking over command of the school for Master Dreadthorn until he can be located.”
“What!” I shouted.
Chapter Seven
Mistress Morgana’s School for Wayward Villains
“She’s behind this. I don’t know how or what’s going on, but I know she did something,” I said.
Wolf and I left the cafeteria cave in a daze. I wanted to find Dodge, to ask him about whether he’d stolen the crystal ball from the princess’s room. And why. Not that I didn’t approve, but I was not going to take the blame for it. More importantly, though, I wanted to know why my dad was missing and why Mistress Morgana was suddenly taking over the school.
“Morgana?” asked Wolf. “What do you think she did? Buried your dad in a shallow grave?”
“I wouldn’t put it past her. Something is going on. I can almost piece it together. Something about Morgana and my dad’s crystal ball and Dodge VonDoe. VonDoe.”
Something about his name was nagging me, but I didn’t know why. Just then Ileana almost ran us over in the hallway.
“Rune! I’m so glad I found you! Did you hear the announcement?”
“Duh,” I said. “So, you’re forgiving me now or what?”
Princesses are so flighty.
“It was Dodge!” she said, pulling out a newsparchment. I recognized it as the one we’d all been reading, the one with Doctor Do-Good on the front page.
“Yeah, I think so, too. Although why he stole the crystal, I don’t know. Morgana did tell him to be more villainous while he was here, and—”
“No, you numbskull!” She smacked me on the head with the newsparchment.
A couple of troll Crooks walked by and looked at us funny and Ileana lowered her voice.
“We have to talk,” she said. “Somewhere private. Just us. Not Dodge. Meet me in the Prophecy Cave after next class!”
Then she dashed off down the hallway.
“What was that all about?” Wolf asked.
“Guess we’ll find out after next class,” I said, wondering why we didn’t just skip class and talk now.
Wolf left, and I was
just wrestling with the idea of going and confronting Morgana myself when I was nearly run over by another girl.
“What is up with—Jez!” I said. I couldn’t believe it. There she was standing right in front of me. She looked kind of crumpled, like maybe she’d slept in her clothes. She was even paler than usual and she seemed a bit frantic.
“Rune!” she said, grabbing my shoulders. “I’m so glad I found you. Listen, we have to talk. There isn’t much time. If she finds me—Hey! Where are you going?”
I had sidestepped Jezebel and was making my way down the hall to class.
“Rune? Rune!”
“I’m not talking to you,” I said.
“Why not?” Jez asked, following me.
“Oh, I don’t know. Let’s see. Maybe because you just left without even telling me. I had to find out from my allies that you were gone. I was the last to know, and I should’ve been the first villain you told.”
“I’m sorry, Rune. I did try to tell you. Don’t you remember? After the party in the Prophecy Cave? But you didn’t give me a chance.”
“You had lots of time before then!”
“I know. I just … I didn’t want … It was—” She looked to me for help, but I just folded my arms across my chest and glared at her.
“Oh, fine!” she huffed. There was a tiny pop as Jezebel turned into a bat and flew away.
I felt kind of bad. Not that I hurt her feelings or anything, just, you know, that we didn’t get to talk—because I had lots of insults that I didn’t even get to use.
A half hour later, I was in Spelling class with Stiltskin, but my mind was on other things. I couldn’t stop wondering what had happened to my dad. And Dodge. I almost wished I’d listened to Jezebel. What if she had something important to tell me?
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the classcave door. A burly man in a black hood stepped in. I recognized him as one of Morgana’s headsmen.
“Yes?” wheezed Mr. Stiltskin.
The headsman pointed at me with his meaty fist.
“Rune, you’re excused,” said Stiltskin.
I gulped. Gathering my books, I shoved them into my pack and warily followed the beefy headsman to my dad’s study. When we got there, another monstrous man in a black hood was standing to one side of the door. The headsman who’d collected me from class knocked, then stood to the other side. I had just enough time to think they looked like oversized bookends before the door opened and out stepped Mistress Morgana, followed by a cloud of toxic perfume.
Villain School Page 5